Many couples complain that they’ve to spend a lot of time together while dating, but things changed dramatically after they got married. In other words, things changed for them as a couple when they started doing things together. They tried all kinds of stuff together now and then, including the “fun things.” Then things started to get real. They’ve more bills to pay, began thinking of having babies, having babies, and so on. It appears that the phrase, “happily ever after” is never going to happen in their relationship. Both got worn out, stressed, and don’t have time for themselves anymore. They become frustrated with life together. They don’t want to or are simply too afraid to talk they would like to have happened in their relationship.
Healthy couples are intentional about spending time together, and not just to spend the time to have some fun. Let’s take a look at these three building blocks every healthy, long-lasting relationship is built on –
Building Block #1: Shared Values
You need to understand what each person in the relationship believes in. Is being faithful relevant to them? So you share the same values and opinions about what he or she thinks is right or wrong? Is it necessary to treat one another with respect? What does it mean to respect someone and how do you show it? Is it imperative for a happy, stable marriage to discuss these questions? What about issues related to shared values, particularly if someone in a relationship wants to get married?
Building Block #2: The Need To Spend Time Talking About And Acting On One’s Shared Goals
We all have goals. They’re our objectives of our life or what we want to aspire to be in the future. Think about where do want to see yourself as a couple in the next two years, five years, eight years, etc. People have short-term goals and long-term goals. Short term goals might be met within a few months or a year or two, while the long-term goals may be fulfilled within five or ten years into the future. For example, some couples may have an intention of starting a family or buy a bigger house, etc. Some people may have a goal or a dream to set up their own business or restaurant. It is critical for couples to spend time communicating about their goals for the future, and what steps they need to take and implement to achieve these goals.
Building Block #3: Having Shared Interests
To stay in a healthy, loving relationship, couples aren’t required do everything together, but they need to at least, find something that can be done jointly. One good way to start is to make a list of things to try doing together that are also fun and exciting for both of you. It can bike or hiking together, walking or jogging together, playing cards or board games, playing sport with each other, working out together, etc. The list is endless. Even if you see that there is nothing for you to do together, try it anyway. It’s important.
When you’re in a relationship, couples who intentionally curate shared values, goals, and interests will be always each other company and spending time together. This will make their relationship grow healthier and stronger in the future.