If you’re a shy man or a woman, you probably know very well that you have an inclination to overthink in social situations, like a date. Shy people are often said to be interesting and dynamic folks, partly because of their thoughtful behavior. But when it comes to dating, shy people find a hard time being comfortable with someone new. So, if you’re someone who is shy, how can you relax and have a great time with your date? Here are four tips to help with that:
1. Wear clothes or accessories that are distracting
If you’re shy, the first dates may be very hard. Heck, first dates are awkward for all of us. On the first date, wear clothes or put on accessories that will act as a conversation starter for both of you. This will distract you from what you’re thinking about, or what your date is thinking about you. The primary purpose here is to take some pressure off you, help you relax and get the two of you to start talking. Wearing a shirt with your favorite team or your college, or wearing an interesting bracelet or a watch, or putting on a funky and weird case on your phone, are all great ways to distract the focus from you.
2. Be focused on what you like
Being shy means that you have a lot of personality inside of you, but you feel uncomfortable expressing it to people unfamiliar to you. This trait can come in handy when you just started to get to know people. The technique here is not to overthink stuff when you meet someone. Instead, redirect your thoughts to things you like and talk about it with your date. You can try having a conversation about your favorite movies, TV shows, books, vacation spots, etc., it doesn’t matter. As long as you’re talking about the things you love, you’ll find yourself to be more relaxed and less shy.
3. Make a video about yourself
To appear more natural, try recording a video about yourself saying hello and asking your date a few questions. Make as many videos as you like, and watch them. The point here is to rehearse making small talk and asking questions in more natural, comfortable way. The more you do this at home, the less shy you’ll be towards all your dates.
4. If you’re nervous, use your hands and fingers to keep you occupied
It’s natural to fidget with our hands when we feel anxious. One tip that can be helpful to most people is to use your index finger and thumb and keep pressing them together with slight pressure. Do it for few minutes or more, whatever feels comfortable to you. Whenever you feel nervous or feel shy with your partner, the pressure on your fingertips will help to distract you. You can also massage each finger or rub your palms slowly, in case this technique doesn’t do the trick.
Shyness often gets better with practice and age. All the tips I discussed could help to keep you out of your own head and keep you in the moment so you can enjoy your date and have a great time.