Dealing with a breakup is no cakewalk, that’s for sure. Breakups bring a lot of change, and most of it isn’t positive. Sadly, there’s no simple way to get around the grief and pain that comes with ending a relationship. The only way to get past it is to move through it.
Here are seven ways to move on after a breakup:
1. Get rid of the anger. Often in a breakup, partners feel angry and resentful towards each other. We feel angry towards our partners for all the pain. We also feel angry for ourselves and frustrated for making mistakes and not being good partners. We feel depressed for not being able to take care of the situation. So, if you need to move on, get rid of the anger.
2. Create a list of your ex’s faults. When we love someone, deeply we only see their amazing qualities like ‘he is a great kisser,' while conveniently dismissing how he or she lied, made you feel bad, get angry quickly, etc. By making a list of all the shortcomings of your ex, why he or she didn’t like you or why he or she wasn’t right for you, you can slowly forget them.
3. Write about your breakup. Writing helps you with your thought process. Writing about your breakup experience, how sad, angry, or lonely you feel, your anger towards your ex, or even yourself, will help you get those emotions and negatives feelings out of you. Don’t read them back, rather rip them or burn them.
4. Spend time with women. Women tend to be more empathetic towards people than men. Men find it harder than women how to support people emotionally or what to say to make them feel better. So, if you've broken up recently with someone, instead of looking for someone new right away, deal with your pain and imminent feelings of loneliness with sisters, close female friends, and spend some quality time with them.
5. Change your style. Instead of brooding about your past relationship in your room, consider giving yourself a serious makeover. Buy that sexy dress you always wanted to wear or dress like successful businesswoman you’ve always dreamt of being. Unless you don't overspend, buying a new dress, changing your hairstyle, can have a profound effect on your psyche and help get your groove back. Also, it will help you get your confidence back.
6. Rewire your brain. Most men and women going through a breakup keep revisiting their past relationships. They replay the breakup over and over in their head, and always thinking what they could have done or avoided to save the relationship. This is unwise, and by doing so, it will become even harder for them to get over their ex and move on. So, whenever you start thinking about your ex, stop it and redirect your mind to something else, like there are plenty of men and women out there to date. If you keep thinking the same thought enough times, you’ll keep thinking about it more. You’re in fact rewiring your mind.
7. Visualize your future. Instead of dwelling on the past, think about your future a year from now. Think about your new partner, and about the happy, fulfilling life you’ll have with him or her.
Yes, breakups suck. It’s painful. But, it’s temporary, and we can assure that one day that pain will pass, and you’ll meet someone right to make you happy again.