If you’ve happened to date someone with an abusive personality, you may at first seem to like charming, bragging, and phony facade, and conveniently ignoring his dubious and inconsiderate behavior. You might also downplay your instincts that he is demeaning, controlling and lying to you. What even worse, he will claim that you’re crazy or overreacting if you point this out to him, and you may accept it.
If you notice any of these following behaviors, it’s pretty sure that you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship. Read on:
1. He always accuses and blames you for everything. Whenever a new problem appears in the relationship, he skips all of his responsibility, and entirely accuses and blames you for it.
2. He punishes you by withholding. He dismisses your concerns and questions, he refuses to hear you out, he doesn’t make any eye contact with you, and gives you the silent treatment, or shall we say the silent punishment. He doesn’t tell you where he’s going, when will he return, and neglects your requests about money and bill payments. He tries to control you by diminishing your thoughts and emotions by withholding all kinds of approval, appreciation, affection, and information.
3. He always judges, criticizes and undermines you. He passes off his bad and harsh judgments and criticism as “constructive” criticism. If you object, he always finds a way to make you feel guilty and unreasonable. Besides, he tends to undermine most of the time. He fails to honor agreements and breaks his promises. He trivializes your thoughts, feelings, and suggestions, and undermines your interests, hobbies, efforts, duties and achievements.
4. He diverts and blocks all your conversations. When your try to have a conversation or discussion with your partner, he refuses to take part in it, or unapologetically interrupts the conversation. He pays little to no attention when you talk, twists and criticizes your words, or simply walks out of it.
5. He always contradicts you. He persistently opposes and disapproves your thoughts, feelings, perceptions and your life experiences. No matter how hard you prove your point, he always contradicts you with baseless arguments to frustrate and tire you. For example, if you say to him,’ the weather looks lovely,' he will say something harsh in reply, ‘it’s raining, and hates it.'
6. He keeps forgetting things you want or like. He ‘willingly or accidently’ forgets things that are important to you. He keeps on forgetting or missing out buying movie tickets, booking hotels, pick up the dry cleaning, or to make necessary home repairs and improvements. When you politely talk to him about it, he replies in a harsh and condescending tone by saying he’s the one who is in control.
7. He sometimes makes you go insane. He regularly combines blaming, controlling, forgetting, sadness, frustrations, distortion, confusion and drives you to the brink of going insane. He twists the truth and blames you for it. He makes you make the second guess and makes you doubtful about your reality and yourself.
8. His sense of humor is derogatory. His jokes can be classified as verbal abuses. He teases, humiliates, and ridicules in front of his family and friends regarding your appearance, personality, interests, abilities, and values. He does this because he knows all too well that you’re scared of public confrontation. If you tells him to stop or accuse him of demeaning you, he says that you can’t take a joke or too sensitive.
Emotional abuse is one worse kind of abuse in a relationship. Have a conversation or confront it when your partner does that you. If he or she still doesn’t stop it, better take the high road, break up and find someone new to love.