It’s not the cheating that jeopardizes relationships and marriages; it’s the cheating partner’s inability to confess, be honest and leave the past behind and start anew. Almost half of the couples don’t split up and work on saving their marriage and relationship, but the healing process is difficult. Once trust is breached, it's very hard to bring it back. Read on how to gain the trust of your spouse and in the process save your marriage.
1. Confess The Truth
The first step in saving your marriage is to regain the trust of your spouse. Confess the truth to your partner about everything that leads to this unfortunate event. Be honest and leave no secrets about the infidelity. Share important details of your affair, how long have you been cheating, have to tell your affair partner about being married, so that your spouse can come to terms about the cheating and decide if he or she can forgive you and move on.
2. Mean It When You Say “Sorry,”
Just saying “I’ m sorry,” will help to get out of most situations, but it won’t help here that much. You have to apologize sincerely, write a heartfelt, meaningful letter, and read it to your partner. You owe this to your spouse given that you have so caused tremendous emotional damage to your partner and help him or her with the healing process.
3. Leave No Secrets
Don’t hide anything of your affair and answer every question your spouse asks you after you confessed about your affair. Try everything you can to trust and love your boyfriend or girlfriend. Be accountable for your actions from now on and provide him or her detailed information about whereabouts, your cell phones, your credit cards bills, text messages, Facebook messages, etc.
4. End All Connection With Your Affair Partner
It’s common sense that you need to sever every kind of contact with the man or the woman whom you had an affair. If you get a call, emails or text messages from your affair partner, even after breaking up the affair, tell your husband or wife about it. Don’t ignore, hide or even delete the evidence of it, without telling your spouse about it first.
5. Take Help From A Marriage Counselor
Sometimes coping with the cheating partner can be overwhelming for the cheated partner, so taking help from a marriage counselor may help him or her in the healing process. A trained and licensed marriage counselor will assist you with recovering from the infidelity and guide you and your spouse about saving your relationship.
6. Saving Your Marriage and Family Should Be Your Top Priority
Now that your affair is over, it's time that you dedicate all your energy, attention and time on devoting entirely to save your marriage and to your family. This means that you should attend marriage counseling and spend more of your free time with your family, including your kids and extended family members. Make saving your marriage your number one priority.
7. Be Accepting To The Consequences Of Cheating
Even you have apologized and cut off all kinds of connections with your affair partner; there are some consequences of cheating on your partner. Accept them because that’s the only way to prove you are remorseful about it. The consequences are you may be living separately or in a separate room, lack of intimacy, anger, and occasional mistrust towards you.
8. Reignite Your Relationship
No matter how hard you try to save your relationship, it is your boyfriend or girlfriend who will have the final say whether they want to be in this relationship or end it straight away. So, try to connect with your spouse meaningfully, get needy for attention more than ever, to prove that you're far-reaching in saving this relationship.