So you guys have been dating for a while, then one day all of a sudden your date tells you that, ‘he/she don’t know what they want in the relationship’. You aren’t exactly sure what he or she is trying to tell you, and you’re confused about it and where the relationship is heading. But, statements like this are never good for the relationship.
Anyways, if you’re still scrambling to figure out what he/she meant by that, below are a few assumptions that will help you to make sense of it:
1. I don’t want to be with you – now or never. It is the most commonly used meaning of, ‘I don’t know what I want.’ The person you’re dating might or might not know why the relationship isn’t working or whom he/she would rather be dating. But, one thing is clear that your date isn’t interested in being in a relationship with your anymore. It’s sad but true. Consider this the end of your relationship.
2. I don’t know what I want. Dating isn’t easy for some people. They get confused, and that’s fine. But, the man or the woman you’re currently with tells you that he/she doesn’t fully know what they want in the relationship, he/she isn’t mentally and emotionally prepared to commit to a relationship. Don’t break up with him/her, rather give them some space. Maybe if they know what they want, he/she will return to you.
3. I don’t want to hurt your feelings. Sometimes, your date says these words, ‘I don’t know what I want’, to break up or end the relationship with you in a gentle and subtle manner. The reason why do it this is because they’re afraid and feel uncomfortable to hurt your feelings and emotions.
4. Something doesn’t feel right to me. There comes a moment when you just need to go with your instincts. Maybe your date is trying to express that, even after the fact that both of you’re enjoying each other’s company very much. Your partner doesn’t feel entirely comfortable or settled with the existing relationship, but he/she doesn’t know how to communicate that. If you think that your partner needs to tell you something about the relationship, encourage him/her to do it. But, don’t force anyone to stay with if they don’t want to.
5. I can’t take the pressure to make a decision about our relationship. A point arrives in a relationship where decisions about commitment and marriage need to be made, and this line refers to that. Sometimes, one of the partners doesn’t feel ready to make such life-changing decisions. They feel panicked and overwhelmed. However, the reactions can be managed by taking things slower, giving more time to your spouse to know you better, and by asking hard questions about what you both are looking for in a relationship.
6. I’m emotionally unavailable. If your partners tell you, they don’t know what they want; it implies that they aren’t emotionally ready to be in a long-term relationship. It is a deal-breaker in any relationship. If you come to realize that your partner is emotionally unavailable, it’s better to end the relationship.
If you’ve just dating someone or in a relationship, if the other person tells you they are unsure about the direction the relationship is heading, give them space to figure things out. It’s better that breaking up immediately.