All posts by Dating Guru

Five Questions You Need To Ask Your Match While Dating Online

Whether you’ve just started dating online or a veteran, there are a few necessary questions you need to ask your potential dates, before you can conclude if they’re suitable matches for you. But before that, don’t send the questions in a list to your match. You don’t want your potential suitor to think that you’re interrogating them. Just email one question, and send a new after he or she replied to the first one. Make this fun and make it look like you’re collecting information for someone that will help you know him or her better before you start dating.

Below is a list of five questions that you should ask your online date:

1. What you hope to expect from a relationship? Most people online are relatively honest about their intentions while dating. People mostly reply to this question by saying they’re looking to have some fun or if they someone perfect for them they would start a relationship or get married. Some people also say they’re looking for a long-term relationship, but at this moment they’re looking a casual one. Based on their answers, you can evaluate what exactly your matches are looking for in a relationship. If you like something they said, continue, and if not, look for someone else. Keep in mind that people don’t change, so don’t believe if your matches say something like will change and such if they’re in a relationship.

2. Do you have any embarrassing moments? This one will help your find if your match has a sense of humor or not. It’s also a great way for someone to open up about themselves, show confidence and laugh together. For starters, talk about a quirky or funny habit you have. Keep it funny, light and not overly flirtatious.

3. What interesting did you see in my profile that made you write to me? It is a great question and will filter out people who have a pre-written message that they sent to 30 other people and will actually make your matches to read your profile. This question will help you to find out if your potential date is comfortable to give and receive compliments. If you see that he or she is struggling with it, then it’s an indication that they aren’t emotionally ready for a relationship. Being able to give and receive compliments are key indicators of person’s readiness to be in a real relationship.

4. What do like to do on the weekends? This question will help you get a look into your matches interests and hobbies, and if these are compatible with yours. You won’t everything matching up with yours, not impossible, though, but less likely. But, if you see a few commonalities among both of you then go for it.

5. Where does your family live and do you have good relations with them? Family values are very important for most people. So, what if they don’t have good relations? It’s still acceptable if your matches family values and perspective matches with your family. Also, try to find out if your matches have good relations with relatives, do they visit them on holidays, call them, etc. These interactions will certainly play a role in your relationship in the long-term, so it’s better if you know about it in advance.

But, before you meet your online in person, start dating or begin a relationship, don’t forget to ask the above questions!

Happy dating!

When Should You Shut Down Your Online Dating Profile?

Having a conversation with your new partner about when to close your online dating profile is a delicate issue, indeed. It’s probable that a surprising connection can happen when two people are dating online meet for the very first time. Usually, it takes around a month for people to decide if they want to date one person only. For men, it can be longer; typically it’s between one to three months to decide if they stop dating online and focus on only one person.

Usually, the conversation starts off with either person asking the other questions like when they will shut down their online dating profile or if they’re dating someone else. Therefore, you should be extra cautious while responding to these questions. This is important because rushing into having this delicate conversation can scare off your date, and before you even know what he or she wants, they could end the date altogether.

Shutting down your online dating profile because you’re taking a break from online dating or you’re getting too many emails is understandable. But, taking off your online dating profile after having a great date with someone is a bad idea. It seems like you’ve done that simply because your date doesn't want you to date someone else at the same time, given the fact that he or she assumes that you like them.

So, relax and be patient. The first thing here is to know the other person as much as you can. Just having one date doesn’t make you think that you’ve found your soulmate, regardless how charming and perfect he or she is.

If you’re thinking of closing your online dating profile after dating your match for one to three months, it’s better to have a direct conversation with him or her. In fact, not discussing it after being dating someone for all this time is itself a negative sign that shows that you feel insecure to talk about the topic. If you happen to one of those folks, then it’s crucial that you need to figure out what’s causing this fear. If you’ve some internal issues you need to take care off, then do it. Otherwise, it will be difficult for you to focus on the bigger problems.

However, if you think things are going as planned, you both are happy and comfortable with each other feelings and thoughts and have different issues regarding the relationship, then it’s time. You can have the necessary conversation about taking the online dating profile with him or her. Remember to keep it straightforward and direct. For example, you can say that you have been dating him or her for the past few months and have got to know and lot about them and don’t want to date anyone else. Ask him or her of what they think about that and what is their opinion about it.

If you notice that he or she isn’t ready, then you may need to rethink your current relationship status, as it clearly indicates that you’ve taking their issue much more seriously than they did. Honestly, this is great news for you, as you now start looking again for potential dates and keep on dating new people online and offline!

Ladies, You May Be Missing Something While Searching For ‘The One’

A lot has been said about women looking for “the one” or for the perfect partner, and so far many have failed. So, are they have been searching in all the wrong places? Most single women believe they know a lot when it comes to men and relationships. We talk about them; we hear a lot about them, we talk about men with our mothers, sisters, and our girlfriends. There are hundreds of books, magazines, articles on men.

After reading all those books, articles, women magazines and including our own personal experiences about men and past relationships, we aren’t satisfied. We attend seminars; buy even more books and magazines. And we keep on searching and looking for our “soulmates.” By the time, we reach in our 30s or late 30s, all we tell ourselves that men are only interested in one thing – sex. We reach a conclusion that most men are liars, cheaters, egoistic jerks, childish and annoying as hell when they get sick or can’t get what they want.

Nonetheless, we still don’t lose hope and keep on searching for “the one.” We spend a lot of our time, money and effort looking for the perfect man to have ever-lasting love and lasting relationship and marriage. We update our online dating profiles, attending parties and social events, hoping that if we keep on trying hard, we will eventually find ‘Mr. Perfect”, and we are happy and complete. And women aren’t alone here; men do it too. Men also have been nurturing stereotypes about women and their behaviors as long as women have been doing for men. Men think of women as gold diggers, greedy, bossy, spoiled, gossip-loving, bitchy, nagging and demanding. Despite all these, men are also looking for ladies who don’t have any of these irritating characteristics.

So, who is exactly “the one”? Many men and women seek a partner who will have a beautiful mind, responsible, dependable, wise, sensitive, warm, faithful, loyal, trustworthy, committed, supportive, and passionate about something in life. If we don’t find someone with all these we get frustrated, don’t stop and keep on searching and circles go on. If things don’t get better, we blame our luck, lives, our jobs, the world and so forth. But, one thing that never crosses our minds is that we could have well spent all that time, energy and money on becoming “the one,” rather than finding “the one.”

Instead of feeling incomplete and trying to feel the gaping hole of our souls, what don’t we try to fill all the gaps in developing the qualities within our own selves, rather than finding it in someone else? If we focused on ourselves and found freedom, self-acceptance, and empowerment within ourselves, we would have felt fulfilled and contentment even if we had a romantic partner or not. If we have developed the energy within ourselves, maybe we will find that our relationships and our partners won’t have such a strong influence on our identities.

After all, many experts agree that we need to focus on ourselves and develop the qualities within us. As a result, we can attract better partners so that we can be in loving and lasting relationships.

How To Deal With Dead-End Relationships

In relationships, if we don’t have a strong sense of ourselves, we end up being in relationships with someone who precisely fit the traits we’ve rejected, disowned and abated. For example, if you happened to be someone coming from a dysfunctional family, it’s highly likely that you’ll have a partner who too, has a dysfunctional family.

When you meet a man and have a strong chemistry, you start that to feel that you can’t live with him. Give it a few months to a few years; you’ll realize that he is making you mad – but in a bad way. He seems not to notice your needs, let alone fulfill them. You want him to give you attention, gifts and to adore you. Instead, he takes you for the usual dinner date every weekend.

So, you try everything to make him pay more attention to you. You cook him nice dinner, lose some weight, dress sexy, and suggest that you both visit a therapist. Nothing drastic happens that will bring the love back when you first met each other. So, you do more, and doing it makes him move even farther away from you. The fire in the relationship dies, and you’re back to square one.

The only thing that will make you love you back is to love yourself back. It’s self-love that will bring back the spark in your relationship. To achieve self-love, it is necessary you develop the ability to receive love, help, and support. You should be accepting to receiving compliments. Here are five techniques that will be helpful to receive love from your partner:

1. Note down your intention for the relationship. How do you want to be treated? How do you want to feel? What spiritual goal do you want to achieve in this relationship? How does your partner lead his life?

2. We have good, bad and the ugly part of our life. Create a list of the all the behaviors and traits that your ex-partners had in common – good, bad or unmentionable. Then put down a note beside of each item. The note will have a reminder of all the things that you’ve have seen in one or both of your parents.

3. Now, make a list of critical things that you wanted to receive from the relationship. If you have a partner or dating, someone, ask them to do the same like you did including the traits list. Try to understand in which way you wanted to be loved by your partner or in the way you want to love your partner.

4. Track the amount of time you spend doing all the activities you did in a month. Now, separately highlight all the things you don’t like to do. Do you want to get rid or redesign the activities you like to do and don’t like do? Find out which tasks will be helpful to self-love.

5. Make a dreamy collage of pictures that depict your genuine and honest feelings about love, intimacy, relationship, marriage, and family. Place it in place that you can always see when you wake up in the morning and go to sleep in the night. It will help you program your subconscious and help you focus on what you truly desire in a relationship. Get rid of any physical things that aren’t beautiful, meaningful or useful in life.

Dealing with a dead-end relationship isn’t easy. But these tips will help to put the all things essential in your eyes and hands that will bring back the love in your heart.

The Three Stages to Every Relationship

In movies and television romantic relationships always have a happy ending or a scene where the couple lives happily ever after. But, in reality, not so much. There are many stages a relationship passes through over time, but most of us want a loving and long-lasting relationship in the end. Many men and women think relationships are easy, but it’s not. Mature, committed, and lasting relationships need work, and both partners have to chime in equally.

Anyways, when it comes to romantic relationships, there are three stages. These stages will help you to indicate which phase of development your present relationship is.

Romantic Love

People idealize their potential partners at this phase. You feel joy, compassion, and excitement with your spouse. This feeling makes you think about your partner all day and night. You visualize all the fun and interesting things you would like to with your newly found romantic interest. You always want to spend all of your time with your partner. However, there is something you need to remember. In this stage of romance, you don’t tend to think about the flaws of your partner. You only focus on their good sides when you’re with him or her. Your brain gets addicted to the happy feelings of being in love. This is romantic love, and the media is obsessed by it. But, it’s not true love or a living relationship for that matter. And buying into this will only create disappointments in real relationships.

Realistic Love

This is where the second phase of romantic relationships begins, which is realistic love. This is the stage where most couples get a taste of what a real relationship feels like and it’s only the stage where most couples get stuck. The novelty of romantic love wears off, and people start to realize the real personalities of their partners. The flaws get exposed, and some couple begins to resent each other. It’s here the relationship reaches its defining moment. It is at this phase where couple either make or end their relationships. Some do it instantly, while others keep on bickering and resenting their partners until they can no longer take it anymore. Some men and women get scared and insecure, so they settle with their partners, even after knowing that they aren’t compatible with each other. You start to feel cheated, and you beat yourself up for settling with a person you don’t love. You feel hurt, desperate, upset and keep blaming your partner for not meeting your needs.

Mature Love

This the final stage in the romantic relationship. Both people feel cared and fulfilled for each other, and they feel safe and secure in the relationship. The love is mature and mutual. At this stage, both partners know each other at a fundamental and emotional level. They accept each other’s flaws and perfections, and both try to bring the best of themselves. The only way couple can obtain mature love is to strive through the previous stages of love.

We all make mistakes. Every stage of love is riddled with mistakes. The important thing is both partners should commit themselves to the relationship, navigate through all the flaws, and make the relationship safe and secure.

These Are The Types Of Women, Men Really Want!

Rampant lies are being told about what men really want in their relationships and what kind women or wife they like to have in their lives. Some of these lies are son bogus that we decided to do something about it. The reality is that most guys are more capable if intimacy and being emotional agile that what our culture and society tend to believe. Our society has instilled fear in us, and it is this fear that has made ourselves feel insecure being around men and expressing our needs.

Here are few lies about men and relationships that aren’t true:

Lie #1: Men only like women who behave and looks like them

This statement might have some weight in school or college, but in real life, mature and grown up men love women who are feminine. They want to feel like they want to at their best to impress a woman. Men are weak towards women who push them to become a better person. And only elegant, classy and confident women can make this happen in a man.

ie #2. Men dislike emotional women

We all have seen in popular culture how men get annoyed when women become emotional. We also know that emotional women are often labeled as crazy and irritating. The truth is men don’t hate emotional women; they just dislike when a woman can’t communicate her feelings in safe and direct in which he can understand and relate to it. It’s the crying and screaming of an emotional woman; a man doesn’t want to see. Remember, effective communication is the key to having a successful and long-lasting relationship.

Lie #3: Men only want things they can’t get

This is another false stereotype about men looking for a relationship. A man who is mature and committed want to have a relationship with a woman so that he can have a family. That’s why he was chasing you to get to know more about you, not your skirt. Only immature and irresponsible men only want things they can’t have.

Lie #4: Men like mysterious women

This lie is by far one of the biggest misinterpretations when it comes to men and relationships. In fact, men don’t like women who keep them in the dark. Men hate wondering who you really and what you were really doing when you told them that you’re busy or unavailable. A man doesn’t like to feel insecure in front of a woman. You will fail to attract a man or make him interested in falling in love with you if you keep him guessing. It’s the allure and the mystique of femininity that men love and craves for all the time.

Lie #5: Men don’t want to date smart, funny women

Lots of lies have been told about men where it’s said that men can’t stand a lady who is intelligent and funny. It’s the jokes that are raunchy and nasty jokes that most men hate, even worse if it’s being told by a woman. All a man want is to be with a woman whom he feels emotionally secure with and has a good time with her.

The bottom line is a man only wants to date a woman whom he thinks is worthy to have a relationship with and a family. It’s all depends on you. If you respect and value yourself, be polite and demand to be at his best, a great guy will bet his life to please and be with you.

Four Key Qualities Ladies Should Look For In A Man

Ladies, when looking for a man, some qualities make a man great. It’s not true when people say finding men with these qualities is hard. However, if you’re really serious about being in a relationship, identify the ones that look important to you and stick with them. Here are four qualities all ladies should look for in a man:

1. He’s gentleman and mature. What makes a guy great is when he is polite, gentle, respectful, attentive and considerate towards women. This also includes opening the door of a car, taking her coat, walking her to the door when she leaves, etc. The world would have a much better place if all guys were gentlemen. Meanwhile, a great guy is mature. It means that he can take care of himself, be responsible towards his life and faces problem in a calm manner. A mature man understands the value of being independent and values what he has, and know how to spend his wealth wisely and responsibly.

2. He should be direct and honest. Few ladies want to date a man with a “whatever” attitude. A good guy will look straight into your eyes when he talks to you, and seem genuinely interested in what you say to him. He should be able to have engaging conversations with you. Honesty is also an attractive trait in a man. A genuinely honest man will always tell you the truth. He won’t say anything that’s false to impress you. He will say exactly what he feels and knows about something. A man who isn’t honest and direct with women is a sign of weakness; no one likes to date a weak guy.

3. He’s faithful and values integrity. Being faithful is one of the most important qualities every man must have. It’s difficult to know if a man has cheated with his previous partners, but if you know it for sure, then it’s for your best that you don’t date him. Another important characteristic in great men is that they have integrity. Integrity means he keeps his promises when he gives one. A woman can easily be attracted to a man who has integrity and ambition as it makes them think that they’re highly respectable in social circles and financially sound, even in reality they aren’t.

4. He’s self-confident and has a positive attitude. A great man is confident of himself and who he is. This quality is necessary because when a man has high self-esteem and confidence, he won’t change to someone else, and will remain true to himself. A confident man can’t be rebuked from what he thinks or believes to be true and won’t be coerced into doing things that he’s not comfortable with. Also, a great guy should possess a positive attitude, even if things are experiencing a negative vibe. People want to be around with someone who has a positive outlook, and he tries to bring the best of people, tries to have fun and make others happy. A confident man will always be smiling and will undoubtedly bright up your day.

Overall, you don’t need to find a man who has all of these qualities, but that would be perfect. Consider dating men, who reveals these dating secrets and have most of these characteristics or the ones that seem more important to you.

How To Seek an Emotional Connection In A Relationship

One of the important things every successful relationship must have is – an emotional connection between two partners. There have been plenty of discussions all over the place why women never end their relationships with the wrong partner. There are many factors for it, but the real reason why most women can’t end their existing relationships is that they still haven’t found it yet.

The answer is an emotional connection. If a couple has little or no emotional connection with each other in a relationship, there is no valid reason to be in that relationship. It’s because of the lack of emotional between the two partners that the relationship loses their loving sparks and eventually ends. Most women remain in dead-end relationships due to the reasons that they’re still unaware of their own emotional requirements and can’t acknowledge the importance of emotional connection in sustaining a loving and long-term relationship.

So, once you become aware of what are your emotional needs, or in case you already have emotional needs, what’s the best way you can establish an emotional connection? Here are five ways you can find an emotional connection in your relationship:

#1: Our world is imperfect. We are imperfect. So, don’t look for the perfect man because you won’t find one. Instead, focus on the search for someone who is perfect for you.

#2: While looking for a partner, consider all the qualities and behaviors that you previously listed you want to see in him or her. Now, forget about them. You are striving for an emotional connection here; it’s what you feel. It’s not something you can think and list in down in a piece of paper.

#3: Trust your instincts. Most men and women downplay the benefits of their intuitions and how can it help them in getting out of tight situations. Most women tend to ignore their guts, get it all cloudy with their thoughts, and subsequently, they start to doubt it.

#4: Your sexual chemistry is different from your emotional connection. You can have a relationship with anyone straightaway using your sexual connection, no strings attached. But, that doesn’t guarantee you two will have an emotional connection.

#5: Remember, the emotional connection won’t appear in your relationship immediately, just because you both love each other. It is not something that will find its way when two people start dating. It’s either there or not. If you think that you can’t feel any emotional connection with a person after going to two or three dates, them going to twenty or thirty more dates won't help you realize it.

The bottom line is that emotional connection is necessary for a committed and long-term relationship. It is true that most people don’t get emotionally connected to each other during the early days if dating. Some people find an emotional connection right on, while others don't. Nonetheless, lots of women hope that while dating they will see feelings developing and ultimately they will find an emotional connection with their partners over time. But, it is better to keep in mind people who are in loving, and the long-term relationship has found their emotional connection with their partners instantly.

How To Deal With People That Don’t Believe That You’re Single

It’s annoying and invasive of a person’s privacy when folks ask him or her questions like why are they still single, when they will get married, have kids and so on. It seems like everyone around us including our family members and friends always judge us because some of us aren’t in a relationship. Sometimes our friends and parents try to hook us with a blind date or pressure us to have a relationship, get married, and settle down. But, that’s a big mistake.

If you happen to be in a similar situation, here are five tips on how to deal with friends and family who are forcing us to end our single status, get married and start a family.

1. Nothing can be more important than your needs. Think and reach a decision what you want, and what’s best for you. Don’t get into a relationship or get married just because everyone else is doing it. Instead, have a relationship with someone who you love and like to spend time with.

2. If your family and friends are always bugging you to be in a relationship, instead of getting confrontational, let them know your stance. Communicate with them; tell them about your intentions, so they’ll leave you on your way. Explain the reasons why you feel this way and respond to their questions so they can understand your personality and thoughts.

3. Don’t get bent on peer pressure. There will always be folks who will continue having arguments with you and won’t leave you alone. This is where you need to put your words into action. No matter what don’t give in to their demands and arguments. Do what’s right for you and stand your ground. It’s your life, and you should allow someone else to tell you how to live your life.

4. Even after telling your friends and other acquaintances about your decision, if they still bother, perhaps you need to consider staying away from them. If your friends really like and care for you, then they need to be respectful and appreciative of you. No one likes to hang out with people who are forcing someone else something they don’t want to do.

5. Keep in mind; relationships and marriage aren’t contests that you need to win. There aren’t any consolation medals when it comes to relationships for participating. Getting married to the person who is incompatible and unhappy with, will take a toll on your happiness, mental health, emotional wellbeing, a career as well as your finances. So, take your time and have a relationship with someone that you feel happy and comfortable with. If your friends can’t be supportive, then it’s time you find friends who will.

Rushing for relationships and marriage is not a good idea. It’s you who have to make decisions, not your friends or family. It’s your life, and you should allow someone else to tell you what’s right and bad for your life especially when it comes to dating and relationship. Your friends and family may have the best intentions for your future well-being, but it’s entirely up to you to make all the important life decisions to be happy in the long-term.

Top Five Reasons You Are Not In a Relationship

Some people can’t just stop making excuses why they’re single. Some of the reasons may seem pretty wild, but most of them are mostly baseless. If you’re one of men and women who continually make up reasons why they aren’t in a relationship, then you’re blaming the wrong factors for you being single. Most singles only resort to reasons of their singleness to the ones they can control.

Here are top five reason singles say they’re not in a relationship:

1. I can’t find anyone to date

Let’s admit it; sometimes it can be hard to meet someone we like. But for many men and women, it’s not the numbers that are keeping them single; it’s their excuses. Be open and keep meeting people and date them. You’ll find someone you like eventually.

2. The good ones are already married

This statement isn’t true at all. Think for second about what places you’re visiting and who you’re socializing. If you want to meet someone you need go to places and events where single people congregate. The more people you meet and socialize, the higher chance of you meeting your future partner.

3. I will date only after I lose weight

Most people especially women, blaming their weight for being single. So, what you’ve gained a few pounds over the last few months, but that shouldn’t stop you from seeking love. It’s way too simple to excuse yourself from the dating scene because you’re depressed with your weight. Besides, what are the chances that you’ll love your body after you lose weight or you’ll be ready to date someone after losing weight? Don’t set high standards when it comes to your physical appearance and body. Keep in mind that you’ll be able to find love and have a romantic relationship regardless if you’re lighter or heavier.

4. I’m just too busy with work life

Unless you’re raising a bunch of toddlers, doing night shifts, sleeping in a new city every night – you have time to date. You might be uncomfortable putting yourself out there in the dating scene, but stop making excuses that you don’t have time to date. Remember, if you keep making an excuse you’ll never achieve your goals. It’s understandable that you can’t go on two or three dates every week, but you can manage a few hours one day a week. Besides, time management is important if you’re busy, so try to find out you can get more things done by utilizing your time efficiently.

5. I only meet people I like on vacation

If you think that you only date people when taking a holiday in some place, other than the city or area you reside in, it indicates that you’re unsure of if you want to commit in a relationship and settle down. Men and women who want to date someone other than the area they live in have some pretty valid reasons like they’re still hurt from their previous relationship, they get bored easily, or they’re still not sure if they want to have a relationship with someone they like.

If you want to have a happy and committed relationship, you should be honest about it. Start by setting up small goals that will help you to meet someone, like joining a new gym, taking art or cooking classes, volunteering for a good cause, etc. Activities like these will enable you to meet people and socialize, get you out of your comfort and in the process help you to meet your future partner.