All posts by Dating Guru

How To Avoid Too Much Pain While Breakup

A heart can’t be broken without a heartbreaker. Believe it or not, it’s true. It’s also encouraging to know that some heartbreakers are more graceful and compassionate than others. But, how can you tell it?

There are no simple answers. But, there is a way you can end a romantic relationship without smashing the other person’s heart into millions of pieces. So, what’s the approach you may ask? The answer, make a clean break.

Most men and women when deciding to break up with their partners don’t say it directly to them. They think it’s inhumane and disrespectful. Instead, they will gradually implement a series of disappointments that will make his or her partner so miserable and resentful towards you that he or she will break up with you. This type of emotional torture can also be called emotional terrorism. Not only does this emotional terrorism, belittles the other person, it can also ruin their self-esteem and confidence.

The best approach is to be direct and honest. But, that mean that you will meet the other person and break the news that this romantic relationship is over in their faces. The key is to convey the message compassionately. How do you do this? First, communicate it in person. You might think that it’s too obvious, but you’ll get surprised to know a lot of people break up over the phone, text message, email or even by changing their relationship status on Facebook and other social media sites. Some leave messages on the answering machine, while some even ask their friends to tell his or her, boyfriend/girlfriend, the relationship has ended. It’s indecent and utterly disrespectful to your ex. If you’ve decided to break up with someone, then break up like a man. Make a clean breakup, be truthful and be honest.

Being honest and being harsh isn’t the same thing. Some heartbreakers were super mean. They think they can shut their eyes, forget about the relationship, and somehow can make the relationship go away. These folks can do it because they’ve lost all of their common sense and courtesy, and have pointed every known flaw their soon-to-be-ex ever had.

Then some folks sugarcoat the rejection with false promises of reconciliation. They give out mixed messages such as they’re interested in him or her, but they don’t want to be in serious relationship. So, they end the relationship with that note. The biggest problem with being so conciliatory is that the other person won’t listen what you want them to hear. They will take your words literally and will begin to envision a happy future with you. They only recall the positive side of the message and conveniently ignore the actual message you wanted them to hear. You still can make a clean break; you just have to gentle and honest. Start by telling the person what you like about them. Don’t point out their weaknesses, and appreciate their strengths and remind them what made you attracted to them in the beginning.

Getting over a breakup isn’t easy, but if you follow these bits of advice, breaking up with someone will be much less painful. Besides, moving on after a breakup and finding someone new will also less hard.

3 Essential Steps to Have A Healthy Dating Life

You got divorced, and now decided to get into the dating world again. A little voice in your head is holding you back, screaming insanely and telling you, that you’re a scared and there is no one right for you. After all, you're hearing it from your depressed single friends all the time, who are by the way are tremendously miserable. You also seem to believe them and start asking yourself, ‘Is it true that there in no one perfect for me out there?

Finding a good man or a woman partly depends on you. If you’ve recently been divorced, get rid of all the negative thoughts that your next marriage will also face the same ending. Although, it’s easy for most men and women to blame their partner for the demise of the relationship, it’s okay if it’s true. But, the fact is you allowed or tolerated certain behaviors of your spouse, that were intolerable to you, but you decided to live with them anyway. The outcome; an ugly breakup.

Here are three steps that can help your get back into the dating scene and enjoy a healthy dating life:

Step 1: Be vulnerable with yourself, and try to realize how you feel. Most of us while dating always try to hide our problems and insecurities from our partners, and pretend that everything in our life is perfect. Our vulnerabilities and fears only become evident during certain events that we can’t control such as bankruptcy or losing our job. Therefore, be honest with yourself and address your personal feelings.

Step 2: Attain an empowered understanding of how you feel. Sometimes we feel and resentful towards our partners for problems in the relationship, especially when it comes to financial issues. We get drowned in debt because the other person wasn’t responsible spending the money. While we have the right to be angry and upset for this mess created by one of our partners, if you learned an empowered understanding of the situation, you’ll realize that it is actually you who is upset and angry. Your angry is making you understand the ways that you did nothing to stop your spouse from his or her reckless spending habit, just for the reason that you ignored your needs to make your partner happy.

Step 3: Don’t try to change other, rather change yourself. After you learned an empowered understanding of yourself and realized what’s making your angry, you decided to make a dramatic to yourself. You can contribute to an understanding that, to have a future healthy relationship, you need to stop pretending that you had everything in your life in control, and ask for support. Asking for help might feel like being vulnerable to yourself, but it will allow you to meet your needs eventually. Feeling vulnerable will make your realize your self-worth, and demonstrate to others that your needs matters just as much as anybody else’s. However, this can become precarious to someone who unconsciously believes that they’ve flaws and are unlovable.

If you're looking for a relationship, avoid repeating the same mistakes that caused your first relationship to tank. Rather, empower yourself emotionally and learn more about yourself, which will help you, find someone who shares your interests and values.

5 Things You Shouldn’t Apologize For While Dating

Do you often find yourself apologizing, subconsciously or consciously? To most men and women, being sorry for something and everything has become a habit. It’s difficult to get rid of. Persistently shaming yourself lowers your self-esteem, confidence, and often at times also makes you look unattractive to potential partners.

So, boost your courage and stop being sorry for these five things:

1. I won’t apologize because I expect you to communicate. Despite the numerous benefits, there are some significant drawbacks when it comes to online dating. Though men and women regularly exchange messages; there are hardly any face-to-face interactions between the matches. Besides, some messages can be rude, annoying and downright ridiculous. At times, some of us step up and speed up the conversation, and later apologizing for going ahead too soon. The fact is there isn’t anything to be sorry about. We should date someone who is a talker, and ask meaningful, interesting questions, and give appropriate decisions. Communications is a two-way street. Therefore, don’t be sorry that you want someone who can communicate.

2. I won’t apologize because I have deal breakers. It’s perfectly fine that you weren’t attracted to someone. Maybe you didn’t like their height, their habits, personality, etc. It might be you both didn’t have any chemistry. It’s okay if you’re picky and only want to date someone who is ambitious, loving and has a great family. So, don’t be sorry for being ‘too choosy’ or ‘you just happen to have high standards.'

3. I won’t apologize for being honest. Most of us laugh at jokes, that aren’t funny, rude, or inappropriate. We also tagged along on a conversation we have no interest in. But now I am excited to share, no scared to argue and express my beliefs. If my date finds it offensive, then maybe he or she needs to change their attitude, and if they can’t, I will politely opt out. I don’t want to laugh or have another drink with him because I am not interested, and if it hurt his feelings, then it’s his problem. I won’t be sorry for being honest and what I believe in.

4. I won’t apologize that I still want romance. Call me old-fashioned, but kind, thoughtful gestures, such as opening the door for me, is still necessary for me. While all these gestures have become more and rarer while dating in the digital age, the truth is there is still something sexy and gratifying about romance and mystery. I would like my date to ask about my life in person, and express how he feels about instead of searching me on Google and texting me now and then. These gentlemanly acts make me feel appreciated, loved and connected. I won’t be sorry for it.

5. I won’t apologize that I want real love. It is okay if you’re looking for a committed, loving relationship, and won’t just date anyone else. You want an exclusive relationship with someone special, rather than wasting your time energy on a fleeting relationship.

We know that’s it not in your nature to stand up and speak your mind, your views, and opinions, emotions, etc. But, when you’re dating someone, your date will be impressed and appreciate your honesty, insecurity, and willingness to be open about your thoughts and feelings.

Do you want Breakup With Your Partner With Class. Learn How!!

There are hardly any breakups that aren’t drama-free. Breakups are painful affairs; they overwhelm us with emotion and despair and bring the worst in us. It’s hard to get control of ourselves in these situations, but if we can exercise some restraints, we can leave a decent and lasting impression on our exes.

Here are four ways to end your relationship with your ex with class:

Resist The Urge To Bash Your Ex.
Adhering to this rule will be hard especially to those who have been wrong, done something wrong, or got dumped, or all of the above. But, you will come out classy if you can resist your urge to talk ill or bash your ex. Sure, you can talk about your grievances to your friends and family, that’s why they are here for. But, by spreading the word that you broke up because he or she cheated on you with a friend of your is just plain ridiculous. Don’t make folks think that you’re the victim here, and when they why you broke up, and they will just tell them that things didn’t work out. And, by the way, don’t ever talk about your sex life with your ex. Ever!

Don’t Get Your Friends Involved
One big painful consequence of a breakup is that sometimes you’ve to let go some friends to keep your sanity intact. It’s recommended that you don’t be mutual friends with ex’s friends. Your splitting up should be all about moving on to the future, not about taking sides. Even if your friend's circle dwindles in size, it is still better than hanging out with your ex’s friends. It’s fine to friends who are sincere in supporting you in this critical moment and let go of certain friends for the greater good. We aren’t asking you to let go of all of your ex’s mutual friends, but if you’re taking advantage of your friendship to keep tabs on your ex, it’s a bad move.

Leave Your Problems at Home
It’s crucial that you don’t talk about your love life at work or have a conversation about it with your boss or coworkers. Not gossiping about your ex and relationships should be one of you top professional priorities. We understand that it’s hard to bury your harrowing breakup without sharing it with someone for 8 hours straight, but there is a silver lining to it. If you occupy yourself with work, it will get your mind rid off the heartbreak, allowing you to be more productive at work.

Avoid Indulging in Crazy Behavior
Breakups make us angry, depressed and desperate, and can sometimes make us snap. We start acting crazy and do things that are entirely misaligned with our character. We are talking about doing silly stuff, like calling or texting your ex incessantly, driving to your ex’s home or workplace in the middle of the day, and so on. We know you miss your ex, and can’t resist seeing or talking to him or her, but once you broke up, leaving it all aside.

Breakups suck. Whether you broke up or you were the victim, it’s best to sever all connections with your past relationship, and take the high road. Find someone new to fall in love with and move on.

5 Breakup Phrases That Hint The End of Relationship

If you’ve been startled by a breakup, it’s highly likely that you failed to pick up the subtle and not-so-subtle cues that your partner has been giving to end the relationship. Some men and women are blessed with super-sharp perception and can see the little hints, while others need everything to be said to them. If you think you fall somewhere in between, then you shouldn’t overanalyze every significant other says and does. But, start paying attention when your relationship is at the breaking point.

Here are five breakup phrases that signal your relationship is on the verge of breaking apart:

1. I Think We Need Some Space.
Regardless who says it, this line should never be ignored. Though this phrase doesn’t mean that you two are breaking up, it indicates that both of you need to be physically and emotionally separate temporarily. Time and distance will ultimately decide, whether you and your partner will remain in the relationship or not. Nonetheless, if your partner thinks about the being separate for some time, it’s never good for the relationship.

2. I Will Call You Later.
Tone plays an important role with this phrase. If he or she says this statement with an agitated tone, it implies that ‘you leave him or her alone.' However, the meaning of the word, ‘later’ can be ambiguous. Did they mean today or later next week or month? If you’ve gone from seeing your partner daily from once a month or never, your relationship might be sinking. It can also mean you’re too needy or your partner is busy and finding it difficult to communicate with you. Whatever the situation, don’t push it. Your partner obviously doesn’t want to discuss it now, and if you force them, you might lose them for good.

3. You’re a %*&@$#!!
Calling names and throwing insults is one of the worst ways of disrespect in a relationship. Realize that your relationship is reached rock-bottom when you’re verbally hurting your partner’s feelings and emotions. There isn’t any rationalization, justification or excuse for treating and disrespecting your spouse in this way. Sure, we all overreact during heated situations, but there is a difference in giving constructive criticism and blaming it all on the other person.

4. He Does That! Or She Doesn’t Do That!
When your partner keeps comparing you to someone else or other relationship, it’s disturbing. Whether if it’s a romantic relationship or work, comparisons belittle and undermine people. Maybe your partner is deliberately doing to jeopardize your existing relationship or don’t want to have a fresh start. This kind of denunciatory judgments points that your partner believes your relationship isn’t worthy.

5. No Communication
When you’ve fully stopped communicating altogether with your spouse, your relationship is dead, and probably has been for some time. Break up officially, cut your losses, and move on. You’re doing nothing for the relationship for yourself and your partner either, by clinging on to a loveless relationship.

The bottom line is the signs of deterioration of your relationship will become evident if you be vigilant and sharpen your perspectives. If that’s the scenario, break up, find someone new and move on.

9 Big Reasons Your Partner Breakups With You

You’re dating; everything feels wonderful. And then the bad news comes along. He breaks up with you. The beautiful world you created around you starts to fall apart. You’re stunned and puzzled to why did he or she break up with you.

Here are the nine biggest reasons why relationships end:

1. You want to get married, but he doesn't. You want to get married soon, but your man isn’t enthusiastic about it. It feels like a lot of pressure for him, so he opted out, no surprises there. He might love you, but it’s clear that his relationship goals are entirely different than yours. You’re lucky here. It’s time you date someone who is ready for marriage.

2. Long distance relationships. Distance doesn’t always make the heart grow fonder for people. Long-distance relationships might work for some people, but for most, it doesn’t. Most of us need to spend a lot of time and effort with our partners to make our feelings strong for each other.

3. Financial problems. The harsh reality is when it comes to relationships, money matters. It’s hard to make it work if one of is unemployed, ridden with debt, struggling to pay bills, or working two jobs to ends meet. It can create a lot of stress in the relationship. However, communication can help to minimize it to some extent.

4. Emotional issues. If you’ve been dating someone for some time, you get to know whether he or she has serious emotional problems like anger, jealousy, depression, etc. Many will leave the relationship if they found that one of their partners has some serious emotional baggage.

5. You keep secrets. Relationships end if one of the partners haven’t been honest or lied to the other person about something specific in their life. So, if you have a drinking problem, don’t keep it a secret from your date or partner.

6. Jealousy. Do you feel paranoiac or threatened when your girlfriend/boyfriend hangouts with their opposite-sex friends? If yes, then it might be your jealousy. Even if you don’t tell it to your partner openly, your behavior will make it apparent. Unless you can address it, it’s time you break up with him or her.

7. Religious beliefs. For some men and women, their spirituality or religious beliefs are very much a part of their identity and play a significant role in their daily lives. So, if their partners aren’t religious or their religious beliefs don’t align with each other, it can be a deal-breaker.

8. The family gets in the way. Family plays a critical role when it comes to choosing which person you can or marry. So, if your family is dominating, intrusive, or belittles your partner, there is a high possibility that he or she will leave the relationship.

9. The love runs out, or they are in love with someone else. Sometimes breakups take place because the love simply isn’t there for the relationship to continue. The chemistry and the spark that was present in the initial days of the relationship fizzled out. Or, maybe the whole thing was an infatuation. Breakups also happen if one of the partners is in love with someone else. This one is the most painful. You both have a loving relationship, and suddenly your partner decides to end the relationship as they found someone else to love. What’s more painful is that your partner has found someone who is better than you.

7 Reasons Why Men Fall Out of Love

Your man has lost his love. He’s no longer in love with you. It happens. Sometimes a man wakes up and finds that the loving feeling he had towards his partner is gone. So, you’re a devastated and keep wondering how did it come to that? Well, here are seven reasons a man can lose his love for you:

1. He feels that you’re no longer close to him. Men love loyal women. He wants to be fully assured that things are bad and life is hard; you got his back. If he stayed far from you and lost that loving feeling, it may be that he thinks that during the critical times you didn’t act like a loyal partner to him.

2. He finds you incompatible. If you want to have a long-lasting relationship, compatibility matters. You need to do things that you both love, have similar interests, topics to talk about, etc. But, sometimes things can be different in reality. Maybe you’re a spender, while she’s a saver. She’s passionate about religious, while you give little importance to it. All of these differences can pile up and become so overwhelming that one partner will eventually quit the relationship.

3. You’re high maintenance material. It’s a turn off for most men when they find their partners are high maintenance women. They think they have to work hard to make their women happy. And if you believe that your demanding ways won’t make a dent in your relationship, think again. Trying too hard to be appreciated by a partner will force men to lose love for the other person.

4. He doesn’t feel admired. We often hear women stop loving their man when he stops respecting and cherishing them. Well, the same rule applies to men too. A man who realizes that he can’t get your admiration or feel less appreciated by his partner will gradually start losing his interest in the relationship.

5. It’s all serious talk with you with no room for fun. When you’re married and in a relationship, you start sharing various daily duties like chores, money, kids, etc., and your interactions with your partner have been reduced to a routine. Every time you two have a conversation, it’s only about big, serious, important things. There is little room for both of you to relax and just enjoy each other’s company. In this situation, it’s hard to be passionately in love with someone. Therefore, try to have some fun and flirty conversations to keep the romance alive.

6. You’re more of a mom and less of a lover to him. From an early age, men are taught what kinds of behaviors are mom-like, and which behaviors are lover-like, i.e. sexual. If your man thinks that your overly caring and loving behavior resembles his mom, he will naturally be less attracted to you. In this case, it’s his problem, and can be best handled by a therapist.

7. Your relationship was less love, more infatuation. If you’re in a relationship only to satisfy your sexual needs of each other, instead of having an emotional connection with your partner, then you’ve started your relationship with the wrong foot. It’s the emotional connection, not sexual that will keep you interested and committed in a romantic relationship. And the lack of it is just mere infatuation, which wears off after a while, people just tend to lose interest and get distant.

12 Reasons Having a Sense of Humor Makes You Attractive and Desirable

While looking for a partner most men and women say they want their partners to be fun to hang out with. What they're trying to mean is that they want their matches to have a sense of humor. But, did it ever occur to know why exactly having this quality makes a person attractive and desirable? Here are twelve reasons for that:

1. Fun projects a unique perspective on life and tells about a person’s attitude and outlook towards life. It makes you appear upbeat and positive.

2. Flirting is the first step towards starting a relationship, and being funny is one of the best flirting strategies around. If you want to make a woman get in bed with you, make her laugh!

3. Having a sense of humor will conceal your personal weaknesses. If one of those men or women, who are told as average or below average in some way, being funny and able to make people smile and laugh will compensate for it. Besides, it’s sexy too!

4. A great sense of humor reveals your good heart and intentions. Given that most of the today’s humor is based on cynicism and sarcasm, your playful and light-hearted humor will show your kindness.

5. Having a sense of humor indicates that you have a pleasant personality. It means that you have the ability to make and share jokes and other funny moments with others. People who possess an excellent sense of humor are inviting in nature. They invite other people to join them while having fun and encourage them to be playful and active. If you this to your date, he or he will also encourage to do the same to you.

6. Humor is often said to engage people and attract them. It makes other people get interested in you, which is important when going on dates. It also makes people feel at ease. Dates are stressful, so laughing together will diffuse some tension and will make both of you feel relaxed.

7. A great sense of humor shows that you have a sharp mind, quick-witted and bright person. All important if you want to attract a mate.

8. Being vulnerable is important to be in a romantic relationship. Being funny demonstrates your willingness to feel insecure.

9. No one likes to date a person who is unhappy. Having a sense assures that your date that you are a happy person. And of course, happy couples make happy and loving relationships.

10. A good sense of humor shows that your compatibility in an important area. You know that you and your date are at least compatible in one area where you both laugh at the same things.

11. Men and women who have a great sense of humor have the ability to diffuse conflict and arguments in the relationship amicably and efficiently.

12. People, who are funny, usually don’t take themselves very seriously. Humor that is self-deprecating shows your date that you can make fun of yourself too.

One of the essential qualities men and women look while looking for someone to flirt or date, is whether he or she can have fun, make fun and be funny. So, get out there and be funny!

4 Things To Look At After Your Relationship Ends

Just like that and you’re no longer in a relationship. You feel dejected, sad, frustrated and hopeless. The firm foundations of respect, communication, trust and ever-lasting love has been shaken, and you feel destroyed. Breakups hit us hard. We get very upset; we don’t get enough sleep or eat right, and constantly worried about the future. You begin to blame yourself for the collapse of the relationship and also feel justified that it ended.

So, how it goes from here? Try these four things when your relationship has fallen apart.

1. Acknowledge and be honest about what just happened
The first thing we suggest after the demise of a relationship is to access your current situation. Stop thinking for the time being, what the future holds for you or what your ex will do next. Also, stop over thinking what could have happened if you or your partner acted differently. Instead, be in the present and get a clear idea what took place between the two of you. Think about what was said and the actions that really occurred. Recall what was said, what happened and how you feel about it.

2. Be truthful to yourself and do what is best for you
You should never end or leave a relationship just because one of the partners made some mistakes and there were heated arguments. But, we advise that you think very careful and conscious while making important life decisions like staying or leaving a relationship. Always put yourself first in the equation and do what’s best for you and your future. Remind yourself that you’ve every right to be in a happy relationship and leave one if it’s not meeting your expectations. Before you leave a relationship; it’s crucial that you know about your partner’s actions and actual intentions. For example, if your partner has been cheating on you and if you’re ending the relationship because of it make sure about whether the affair has ended or not.

3. Take responsibility for your role.
It takes two hands to make a clap. It’s fine that you ended your relationship because your partner has cheated on you or said some really mean and hurtful things to you. But, don’t put all the blame on your spouse. Maybe you too had played a part in it. Try to determine what your role is and was that forced both of you to break up. We aren’t saying that you’re to be blamed for what actually happened. We are just asking you to be responsible for the part in your relationship that caused it to collapse.

4. Take your next best step.
For some couples, the next best step for them is to end their relationship and get reunited again. Again, they have the same argument again and break up for the next time. Actions like these will only bring more pain and build up more hostility against each other. So, go through the above steps we’ve recommended, and you can know what to do for your best interest. Some of the actions won’t make sense to you, but it will certainly be right for you.

Whether you’re dating or having some problems in your relationship, keep checking in with yourself before you make big decisions like breaking up, getting married, or looking for a new relationship.

6 First Date Conversation Tips

Dating is already hard enough, and we all know the how to make the best impression on the first date conversation. So, how do you bring the best of you when you’re meeting someone for the first time?

Here are six ways for making the most of a first date conversation, so you can hope to be on a second date with him or her.

1. Don’t talk too much
We tend to over talk, when we get nervous. The more we talk, the less we get to know someone. Typically when we meet someone new, we start by making small talk. But, as we get settled down, we start to get familiar with him or her. Keep your chatting time limited in the first five minutes. Don’t talk about everything that pops in your head, unless it seems interesting and worth sharing.

2. Look at him or her
Don’t look like a creep. Keep your gaze soft, steady and be focused on your date. Looking at your date in this will convey that, you’re interested in him or her. Use your eyes to tell and invoke your date a sense of warmth, and safety.

3. Find out if both of you are on the same page
When meeting your date for the first time, you want to convey your emotional maturity to him or her, which is important to have a committed and long-lasting relationship. Ask questions like, what his or her goals in life are, or what is the most important thing in life is for him or her at the moment, and so forth. This will help you to get you more acquainted with each other.

4. Tell the truth, but maintain boundaries.
Always be honest and never lie, but don’t share too much of your life at the first date. However, it’s okay to talk a little about your past relationships or marriages. Don’t be scared or be honest about sharing your emotional baggage. When talking about your exes, don’t thrash them. It’s very unattractive.

5. Ask them how they feel
Ask your date how they’re feeling about the date. Don’t shy away from asking them about their emotions and feelings, and what made them come on this date. Ask them what motivates them to make important decisions in life, like why did they take teaching as a career or why did they relocate to a new city and so on. Pay attention when they answer you and figure out if the answers are concrete or emotional. For example, if your date becomes emotional when talking about kids, it’s obvious that he or she loves children and want to be around them.

6. Exit the date gracefully
Whether your first date was good or bad, end the date in a graceful manner without offending the other person across the table. Smile, convey “Thank you,” and tell them you enjoyed the date and meeting him or her. The date may have been bad or failed to live up to your expectations, but don’t leave feeling disappointed with yourself or your date.

The first date conversations are hard and can fail to meet your expectations, given that both parties are feeling nervous and don’t know what’s going to happen. However, if you’re meeting someone new for the first time, these tips will help you to make your first date conversation a pleasant experience.