Can a Healthy Marriage Survive Without Sex?

It’s even harder to sustain a marriage than a relationship. One of the biggest reasons most men and women face in their marriages is that couple says that the thrill and spark aren't there anymore. They aren’t excited as they were during the early days of the relationship.

Couples say they tried everything they can to reignite the romance in their marriage, including going to relationship experts and therapists. Some find success to save their marriage, while some become so frustrated they get divorced. Coping with a breakup or a divorce is hard, and some men and women never get over their past relationships and move on. They don’t try to date anymore and get involved in new relationships. They become disappointed, depressed and hopeless about their lives.

Sex is one main reason for the demise of marriages and relationships. As the relationship matures over time, couples don’t feel attracted to their partners like before. They don’t feel the sparks anymore. So, is possible for a couple to stay together when the thrill is gone?

Though experts believe that sex is important to keep the couples together, it is also possible to maintain a long-lasting relationship without sex. Marriage and family therapist Dr. Paul Hokemeyer says that as couples mature sex becomes overhyped and overrated. He says real and lasting happiness and pleasure can only come from a deep and genuine emotional connection with another person. When sex becomes irregular in a relationship then the only way to keep it healthy is through trust, respect, laughter and vulnerability between the spouses. In fact, in a mature relationship, emotional connection is more vital than physical intimacy.

While sexual intensity and intimacy may keep the relationship alive at the beginning, it needs to complement with emotional intimacy over time. To give a perspective on the subject, people who are indulging in casual sex may have great sex and enjoy their time without being emotional close to their dates. But, eventually, they will feel empty and lonely, which they won’t have if they were in an emotionally satisfying relationship that doesn’t have sex.

However, sexless relationships or infrequent sex in new relationships might have problems. Sex nurtures the physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of a relationship. If a situation arises like if one partner in a relationship is enjoying sex more than the other, then detrimental feelings can appear between the partner such as sadness, anger, and resentment. The key to making sexless marriage or relationship function is communication. Both partners must be okay with it. If both partners believe that their togetherness and shared values are more important than having physical intimacy, then the relationship can survive and can even thrive.

If couples can redefine the importance of sex, sexual intimacy and emotional connection among themselves, then a relationship can overcome sexual challenges. The emotional intimacy and bond between the partners can also strengthen in the process. If intimacy and trust have been established between without sexually satisfying either partner, it’s possible to have a healthy and happy relationship without sex.


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