Category Archives: Breakups

How To Avoid Too Much Pain While Breakup

A heart can’t be broken without a heartbreaker. Believe it or not, it’s true. It’s also encouraging to know that some heartbreakers are more graceful and compassionate than others. But, how can you tell it?

There are no simple answers. But, there is a way you can end a romantic relationship without smashing the other person’s heart into millions of pieces. So, what’s the approach you may ask? The answer, make a clean break.

Most men and women when deciding to break up with their partners don’t say it directly to them. They think it’s inhumane and disrespectful. Instead, they will gradually implement a series of disappointments that will make his or her partner so miserable and resentful towards you that he or she will break up with you. This type of emotional torture can also be called emotional terrorism. Not only does this emotional terrorism, belittles the other person, it can also ruin their self-esteem and confidence.

The best approach is to be direct and honest. But, that mean that you will meet the other person and break the news that this romantic relationship is over in their faces. The key is to convey the message compassionately. How do you do this? First, communicate it in person. You might think that it’s too obvious, but you’ll get surprised to know a lot of people break up over the phone, text message, email or even by changing their relationship status on Facebook and other social media sites. Some leave messages on the answering machine, while some even ask their friends to tell his or her, boyfriend/girlfriend, the relationship has ended. It’s indecent and utterly disrespectful to your ex. If you’ve decided to break up with someone, then break up like a man. Make a clean breakup, be truthful and be honest.

Being honest and being harsh isn’t the same thing. Some heartbreakers were super mean. They think they can shut their eyes, forget about the relationship, and somehow can make the relationship go away. These folks can do it because they’ve lost all of their common sense and courtesy, and have pointed every known flaw their soon-to-be-ex ever had.

Then some folks sugarcoat the rejection with false promises of reconciliation. They give out mixed messages such as they’re interested in him or her, but they don’t want to be in serious relationship. So, they end the relationship with that note. The biggest problem with being so conciliatory is that the other person won’t listen what you want them to hear. They will take your words literally and will begin to envision a happy future with you. They only recall the positive side of the message and conveniently ignore the actual message you wanted them to hear. You still can make a clean break; you just have to gentle and honest. Start by telling the person what you like about them. Don’t point out their weaknesses, and appreciate their strengths and remind them what made you attracted to them in the beginning.

Getting over a breakup isn’t easy, but if you follow these bits of advice, breaking up with someone will be much less painful. Besides, moving on after a breakup and finding someone new will also less hard.

5 Things You Shouldn’t Apologize For While Dating

Do you often find yourself apologizing, subconsciously or consciously? To most men and women, being sorry for something and everything has become a habit. It’s difficult to get rid of. Persistently shaming yourself lowers your self-esteem, confidence, and often at times also makes you look unattractive to potential partners.

So, boost your courage and stop being sorry for these five things:

1. I won’t apologize because I expect you to communicate. Despite the numerous benefits, there are some significant drawbacks when it comes to online dating. Though men and women regularly exchange messages; there are hardly any face-to-face interactions between the matches. Besides, some messages can be rude, annoying and downright ridiculous. At times, some of us step up and speed up the conversation, and later apologizing for going ahead too soon. The fact is there isn’t anything to be sorry about. We should date someone who is a talker, and ask meaningful, interesting questions, and give appropriate decisions. Communications is a two-way street. Therefore, don’t be sorry that you want someone who can communicate.

2. I won’t apologize because I have deal breakers. It’s perfectly fine that you weren’t attracted to someone. Maybe you didn’t like their height, their habits, personality, etc. It might be you both didn’t have any chemistry. It’s okay if you’re picky and only want to date someone who is ambitious, loving and has a great family. So, don’t be sorry for being ‘too choosy’ or ‘you just happen to have high standards.'

3. I won’t apologize for being honest. Most of us laugh at jokes, that aren’t funny, rude, or inappropriate. We also tagged along on a conversation we have no interest in. But now I am excited to share, no scared to argue and express my beliefs. If my date finds it offensive, then maybe he or she needs to change their attitude, and if they can’t, I will politely opt out. I don’t want to laugh or have another drink with him because I am not interested, and if it hurt his feelings, then it’s his problem. I won’t be sorry for being honest and what I believe in.

4. I won’t apologize that I still want romance. Call me old-fashioned, but kind, thoughtful gestures, such as opening the door for me, is still necessary for me. While all these gestures have become more and rarer while dating in the digital age, the truth is there is still something sexy and gratifying about romance and mystery. I would like my date to ask about my life in person, and express how he feels about instead of searching me on Google and texting me now and then. These gentlemanly acts make me feel appreciated, loved and connected. I won’t be sorry for it.

5. I won’t apologize that I want real love. It is okay if you’re looking for a committed, loving relationship, and won’t just date anyone else. You want an exclusive relationship with someone special, rather than wasting your time energy on a fleeting relationship.

We know that’s it not in your nature to stand up and speak your mind, your views, and opinions, emotions, etc. But, when you’re dating someone, your date will be impressed and appreciate your honesty, insecurity, and willingness to be open about your thoughts and feelings.

Do you want Breakup With Your Partner With Class. Learn How!!

There are hardly any breakups that aren’t drama-free. Breakups are painful affairs; they overwhelm us with emotion and despair and bring the worst in us. It’s hard to get control of ourselves in these situations, but if we can exercise some restraints, we can leave a decent and lasting impression on our exes.

Here are four ways to end your relationship with your ex with class:

Resist The Urge To Bash Your Ex.
Adhering to this rule will be hard especially to those who have been wrong, done something wrong, or got dumped, or all of the above. But, you will come out classy if you can resist your urge to talk ill or bash your ex. Sure, you can talk about your grievances to your friends and family, that’s why they are here for. But, by spreading the word that you broke up because he or she cheated on you with a friend of your is just plain ridiculous. Don’t make folks think that you’re the victim here, and when they why you broke up, and they will just tell them that things didn’t work out. And, by the way, don’t ever talk about your sex life with your ex. Ever!

Don’t Get Your Friends Involved
One big painful consequence of a breakup is that sometimes you’ve to let go some friends to keep your sanity intact. It’s recommended that you don’t be mutual friends with ex’s friends. Your splitting up should be all about moving on to the future, not about taking sides. Even if your friend's circle dwindles in size, it is still better than hanging out with your ex’s friends. It’s fine to friends who are sincere in supporting you in this critical moment and let go of certain friends for the greater good. We aren’t asking you to let go of all of your ex’s mutual friends, but if you’re taking advantage of your friendship to keep tabs on your ex, it’s a bad move.

Leave Your Problems at Home
It’s crucial that you don’t talk about your love life at work or have a conversation about it with your boss or coworkers. Not gossiping about your ex and relationships should be one of you top professional priorities. We understand that it’s hard to bury your harrowing breakup without sharing it with someone for 8 hours straight, but there is a silver lining to it. If you occupy yourself with work, it will get your mind rid off the heartbreak, allowing you to be more productive at work.

Avoid Indulging in Crazy Behavior
Breakups make us angry, depressed and desperate, and can sometimes make us snap. We start acting crazy and do things that are entirely misaligned with our character. We are talking about doing silly stuff, like calling or texting your ex incessantly, driving to your ex’s home or workplace in the middle of the day, and so on. We know you miss your ex, and can’t resist seeing or talking to him or her, but once you broke up, leaving it all aside.

Breakups suck. Whether you broke up or you were the victim, it’s best to sever all connections with your past relationship, and take the high road. Find someone new to fall in love with and move on.

5 Breakup Phrases That Hint The End of Relationship

If you’ve been startled by a breakup, it’s highly likely that you failed to pick up the subtle and not-so-subtle cues that your partner has been giving to end the relationship. Some men and women are blessed with super-sharp perception and can see the little hints, while others need everything to be said to them. If you think you fall somewhere in between, then you shouldn’t overanalyze every significant other says and does. But, start paying attention when your relationship is at the breaking point.

Here are five breakup phrases that signal your relationship is on the verge of breaking apart:

1. I Think We Need Some Space.
Regardless who says it, this line should never be ignored. Though this phrase doesn’t mean that you two are breaking up, it indicates that both of you need to be physically and emotionally separate temporarily. Time and distance will ultimately decide, whether you and your partner will remain in the relationship or not. Nonetheless, if your partner thinks about the being separate for some time, it’s never good for the relationship.

2. I Will Call You Later.
Tone plays an important role with this phrase. If he or she says this statement with an agitated tone, it implies that ‘you leave him or her alone.' However, the meaning of the word, ‘later’ can be ambiguous. Did they mean today or later next week or month? If you’ve gone from seeing your partner daily from once a month or never, your relationship might be sinking. It can also mean you’re too needy or your partner is busy and finding it difficult to communicate with you. Whatever the situation, don’t push it. Your partner obviously doesn’t want to discuss it now, and if you force them, you might lose them for good.

3. You’re a %*&@$#!!
Calling names and throwing insults is one of the worst ways of disrespect in a relationship. Realize that your relationship is reached rock-bottom when you’re verbally hurting your partner’s feelings and emotions. There isn’t any rationalization, justification or excuse for treating and disrespecting your spouse in this way. Sure, we all overreact during heated situations, but there is a difference in giving constructive criticism and blaming it all on the other person.

4. He Does That! Or She Doesn’t Do That!
When your partner keeps comparing you to someone else or other relationship, it’s disturbing. Whether if it’s a romantic relationship or work, comparisons belittle and undermine people. Maybe your partner is deliberately doing to jeopardize your existing relationship or don’t want to have a fresh start. This kind of denunciatory judgments points that your partner believes your relationship isn’t worthy.

5. No Communication
When you’ve fully stopped communicating altogether with your spouse, your relationship is dead, and probably has been for some time. Break up officially, cut your losses, and move on. You’re doing nothing for the relationship for yourself and your partner either, by clinging on to a loveless relationship.

The bottom line is the signs of deterioration of your relationship will become evident if you be vigilant and sharpen your perspectives. If that’s the scenario, break up, find someone new and move on.

9 Big Reasons Your Partner Breakups With You

You’re dating; everything feels wonderful. And then the bad news comes along. He breaks up with you. The beautiful world you created around you starts to fall apart. You’re stunned and puzzled to why did he or she break up with you.

Here are the nine biggest reasons why relationships end:

1. You want to get married, but he doesn't. You want to get married soon, but your man isn’t enthusiastic about it. It feels like a lot of pressure for him, so he opted out, no surprises there. He might love you, but it’s clear that his relationship goals are entirely different than yours. You’re lucky here. It’s time you date someone who is ready for marriage.

2. Long distance relationships. Distance doesn’t always make the heart grow fonder for people. Long-distance relationships might work for some people, but for most, it doesn’t. Most of us need to spend a lot of time and effort with our partners to make our feelings strong for each other.

3. Financial problems. The harsh reality is when it comes to relationships, money matters. It’s hard to make it work if one of is unemployed, ridden with debt, struggling to pay bills, or working two jobs to ends meet. It can create a lot of stress in the relationship. However, communication can help to minimize it to some extent.

4. Emotional issues. If you’ve been dating someone for some time, you get to know whether he or she has serious emotional problems like anger, jealousy, depression, etc. Many will leave the relationship if they found that one of their partners has some serious emotional baggage.

5. You keep secrets. Relationships end if one of the partners haven’t been honest or lied to the other person about something specific in their life. So, if you have a drinking problem, don’t keep it a secret from your date or partner.

6. Jealousy. Do you feel paranoiac or threatened when your girlfriend/boyfriend hangouts with their opposite-sex friends? If yes, then it might be your jealousy. Even if you don’t tell it to your partner openly, your behavior will make it apparent. Unless you can address it, it’s time you break up with him or her.

7. Religious beliefs. For some men and women, their spirituality or religious beliefs are very much a part of their identity and play a significant role in their daily lives. So, if their partners aren’t religious or their religious beliefs don’t align with each other, it can be a deal-breaker.

8. The family gets in the way. Family plays a critical role when it comes to choosing which person you can or marry. So, if your family is dominating, intrusive, or belittles your partner, there is a high possibility that he or she will leave the relationship.

9. The love runs out, or they are in love with someone else. Sometimes breakups take place because the love simply isn’t there for the relationship to continue. The chemistry and the spark that was present in the initial days of the relationship fizzled out. Or, maybe the whole thing was an infatuation. Breakups also happen if one of the partners is in love with someone else. This one is the most painful. You both have a loving relationship, and suddenly your partner decides to end the relationship as they found someone else to love. What’s more painful is that your partner has found someone who is better than you.

4 Things To Look At After Your Relationship Ends

Just like that and you’re no longer in a relationship. You feel dejected, sad, frustrated and hopeless. The firm foundations of respect, communication, trust and ever-lasting love has been shaken, and you feel destroyed. Breakups hit us hard. We get very upset; we don’t get enough sleep or eat right, and constantly worried about the future. You begin to blame yourself for the collapse of the relationship and also feel justified that it ended.

So, how it goes from here? Try these four things when your relationship has fallen apart.

1. Acknowledge and be honest about what just happened
The first thing we suggest after the demise of a relationship is to access your current situation. Stop thinking for the time being, what the future holds for you or what your ex will do next. Also, stop over thinking what could have happened if you or your partner acted differently. Instead, be in the present and get a clear idea what took place between the two of you. Think about what was said and the actions that really occurred. Recall what was said, what happened and how you feel about it.

2. Be truthful to yourself and do what is best for you
You should never end or leave a relationship just because one of the partners made some mistakes and there were heated arguments. But, we advise that you think very careful and conscious while making important life decisions like staying or leaving a relationship. Always put yourself first in the equation and do what’s best for you and your future. Remind yourself that you’ve every right to be in a happy relationship and leave one if it’s not meeting your expectations. Before you leave a relationship; it’s crucial that you know about your partner’s actions and actual intentions. For example, if your partner has been cheating on you and if you’re ending the relationship because of it make sure about whether the affair has ended or not.

3. Take responsibility for your role.
It takes two hands to make a clap. It’s fine that you ended your relationship because your partner has cheated on you or said some really mean and hurtful things to you. But, don’t put all the blame on your spouse. Maybe you too had played a part in it. Try to determine what your role is and was that forced both of you to break up. We aren’t saying that you’re to be blamed for what actually happened. We are just asking you to be responsible for the part in your relationship that caused it to collapse.

4. Take your next best step.
For some couples, the next best step for them is to end their relationship and get reunited again. Again, they have the same argument again and break up for the next time. Actions like these will only bring more pain and build up more hostility against each other. So, go through the above steps we’ve recommended, and you can know what to do for your best interest. Some of the actions won’t make sense to you, but it will certainly be right for you.

Whether you’re dating or having some problems in your relationship, keep checking in with yourself before you make big decisions like breaking up, getting married, or looking for a new relationship.

5 Ways To Break Up With Someone Gracefully

That terrible moment has arrived. You’ve finally decided to end the relationship. She isn’t the right person for you, and you know very well that you’re going to break her heart. She has been crazy in love with you, and she likes hanging out with you just like you do. But, at the end, you realize the love, the excitement, and the chemistry aren't there anymore. That raging fire in the relationship extinguished a long time ago. She has been pressuring you to spend more time with her, to commit more, and to take the next important step in the relationship, but you simply resist. You feel overwhelmed and reached to the point that you started to ignore her calls and texts, and get annoyed quickly by her anxious requests.

Breaking up with someone you love isn’t easy, and no matter how hard you try to make it easy or pleasant, the other person will get hurt tremendously. However, there are ways to end a relationship that will minimize the pain while keeping all the necessary boundaries intact. Read on to find more:

1. Don’t make it about her. When you bash or talk ill about your partner to someone, two things can happen. One, she can get defensive and attack you back. Things can get ugly really quick. And two, it will give her the opportunity to be of the person you like her to see and quit her unwanted tendencies. Besides, you’ll have to deal with a conversation that’s already uncomfortable where she pleads to give her another chance to make things better.

2. Make it about you. This is no brainer. It’s has been all about you anyway. Be honest and tell the truth that the reason you’re breaking up with her is that some things didn’t work out. Also, tell her that you don’t want the same things she wants, or you can’t meet her wants and needs.

3. Don’t give any false hope you might change your decision in the future. It’s unwise to give your ex false hope that you might feel different about the decision and can reconcile. Make the ending final. Be kind and respectful, but adamant. Set her free, let go of her, so she can find someone new and move on with her life.

4. Don’t talk or see her after the end of the conversation. After having the breakup talk, don’t agree if she wants or begs to see or speak to you for the last time. Even if you miss her sometimes, don’t think of reaching out to her. Make the break up as clean as you can. If you call or text her, it will just give out the wrong message, and your ex will think that you miss and be together again.

5. Take some time out and reflect on your past relationship. After ending a romantic relationship, don’t start dating someone quickly to compensate for your loneliness. Rather take some time out of your busy schedule and reflect on what just happened, what this relationship has taught you, what you have learned about yourself, your needs, your desires, etc.

Use these learning and apply it to your next relationship. Appreciate the lessons, love, gratitude and gifts that your ex has given to you.

Learn How to Get Over Someone Who Was Never Meant for You

Breaking up with someone is always hurtful, and it’s even worse if it happens on the first date. The more we keep thinking about the person who got away, the more attached we get to them, and the greater our disappointment and frustration may become.

It’s in our nature to think about the heartbreaking breakups so that we can make sense of  them. We persistently think about why things didn’t work between us – did we make any mistakes? Is there anything we could have tried doing differently? We may make assumptions and excuses at times as well.

Some men and women try to achieve closure by believing that the breakup was inevitable because one person attempted to take things fast despite repeated request by the other person to take things more slowly. This is one mistake individuals who are looking for relationships definitely should avoid.

However, sometimes we may face difficulty while moving on. This is not uncommon. You may be constantly keep replaying the moments of the breakup and the conversation we had. You could feel outraged, frustrated and get hurt every time it is replayed. We continuously keep rehearsing all the things we could have said and done to make things right, despite that fact that we already know it’s never going to work. The biggest problem with this type of self-reflection is that by replaying the same thoughts, conversations and scenes over and over again in our minds, will give no positive outcome. There won’t be any new ideas, understandings, insights, views, or anything worthy to learn. In fact, doing this could increase feelings of depression and anger.

Moreover, grieving in this way for a long period will only increase the frequency and desperation, which will make us think the same memories and scenes even more. Stress levels may see an immediate increase and stress hormones could reach critical levels. Besides, spending too much time brooding about the past, rather than doing something that’s actually productive, may also increase feelings of helplessness. In turn, you can become even more depressed or remain depressed for an extended period. You may become disinterested in having new relationships or getting back out there.

The takeaway here is to remain productive and active, even after thinking about the one who was never meant to be our partners. It is perfectly fine to brood over someone you liked despite the rejection, but you also have to be practical. If you find yourself stuck in the sulking process, you may have to be aggressive to break from this unproductive habit and distract yourself by doing something else. The sooner you heal psychologically and emotionally, the sooner you can get out from this vicious circle, and move on and find someone new who will be interested in having a relationship.

5 Ways You Can Overcome Your Pain Of A Breakup

People tell you that you’re in a happy relationship. Why? Simple. Because you’ve been dating for several weeks, months or even years. Now that your relationship has ended, it feels like everything you’ve ever known is falling apart. Even worse, you can’t figure out the reason why the relationship ended. So, how do you deal with a breakup that came out of the blue?

Below are five things that may help you cope with this:

It’s perfectly natural to obsess over something we don’t have enough information about. Your partner breaking up with you without giving much information is a perfect example. You keep thinking about the relationship and try to find out what happened and why it ended. Talking with a close friend about it can be helpful. It’s a part of grieving, and that’s exactly what you’re doing here. Though it is fine for you to be obsessive about the demise of your relationship, keep in mind, not to get stuck in it.

Just because you lost your significant another, doesn’t mean that no one loves you. Reconnect with your friends and family members. You need them during this crucial time. You need your friends with who you can laugh, talk, cry and they can ultimately cheer you on and support you to get over your ex and move on from this unfortunate chapter of your life.

Write About It
If you recently experienced a breakup, writing about it can help you ease the pain. When we write about something that makes little sense, particularly about our bad events and other things in life like our childhood, our health, etc., and we feel less haunted. If we desensitize our pain using some of the perspectives, it doesn’t affect our lives like it did before, which is a significant development in the healing process.

Pursue Your Goals
Distracting yourself from the grief and the negativity of your past relationship is a great approach in the healing process. Get active. Do something that you like and wanted to do for a long time but didn’t have the time to do it. Buy a bicycle. Learn how to cook. Go for a hike in the woods. Train for a marathon. Get involved in an activity that is unrelated to your previous relationship. Pursuing a new skill, goal or interest will not only distract you from obsessing about your past relationship, but it will also make you aware of the fact there is more to life than your breakup.

Let Go Of The Need To Know
Are you still thinking about all the excuses your partner gave you why he or she decided to end the relationship? Are you driving yourself crazy over the fact that maybe there is a much deeper and darker reason why this person broke up with you? Do you overly think that if you’ve known it, you and your partner could have done something about it and saved the relationship? You may never know the true intentions and the reasons it did not work out and to speak honestly, it doesn’t matter. So, let go of it.

Sometimes love ends, and it ends without any explanation or reason. So, let go of it and move forward, and find someone new, who sees you as loving and beautiful, both inside and out.

6 Reasons Why You Should Break Up With Your Partner

We all hate breakups. But when someone has been in a relationship for a while, sometimes one or both partners start questioning whether this relationship is better for them and if they are meant for each other. Some men and women realize that they aren’t happy in their relationship, and may think of ending it, but aren’t sure if it’s the right decision.

Luckily, some indications point that the relationship will be troubling in the future. Read on to find out:

1. Your partner’s emotional health isn’t great. Great emotional health is the key to a successful, long-lasting relationship. If you find that your spouse is paranoid, overly defensive, self-absorbed, self-obsessed, gets angry quickly, depressed, or has anything else that shows that he or she has emotional health deficit, it may be for the best for both of you to end the relationship.

2. Your religious and spiritual values differ. If you’re an ardently religious or spiritual person, and your partner isn't, or has no interest in your religious or spiritual matters, then you two are divided by a barrier. The same can be said when you and your spouse have vastly different views, values, and opinions about various matters. You and your spouse may have divergent views on values like compassion toward the poor, honesty, generosity, animal rights, etc. When this happens, you may experience immense disappointment, frustration and conflict is inevitable. So, it's better you move on from this relationship before things get out of control.

3. Your partner has questionable character. If your partner isn’t steadfast on qualities like honesty, trustworthiness, integrity, reliability, loyalty, and responsibility, then it demonstrates that he or she doesn’t possess a strong character.

4. You can’t resolve conflicts and arguments. If two people in an exclusive relationship can’t settle their arguments and disputes efficiently and respectfully, there is a chance that this relationship will not last. Relationships get dismissed when fights and conflicts show up regularly, and even worse if they don’t get resolved.

5. You can’t communicate at a deep level. Communication is the key to a successful relationship and marriage. Intimate communication between you and your partner is required to share each others deepest feelings, desires, dreams, insecurities, thoughts, and fears. If you and your partner find it tough to have a heartfelt conversation, you’ll face problems in your relationship in the future. Besides, if you and your partner face difficulty in expressing who you really are, the relationship will most likely fail to reach its full potential.

6. You and your partner’s interests don’t complement each other. When you realize that you and your partner have little to no interests in each other’s hobbies and activities, it’s easy to say that your relationship won’t last very long. When looking for a partner, find someone who shares two or three of your interests, in case you have five or six interests and things you like to do and enjoy. The more matches, the stronger and long-lasting your relationship will be.

Ending a relationship is one of the hardest things to do. If you’re in a relationship, we hope that you haven’t found any of the listed deal breakers. And if you’ve found some of them, have a deep conversation with your partner about it before you make a final decision. If that doesn’t work, read out this informative tips on approaching girls for the first time before you start a new relationship.