Category Archives: Get A Girlfriend

3 of the Main Reasons Why You’re Still Single

Does the thought of being single and alone haunt you? Yes? Then you aren’t alone. This thought can even startle even the most confident man and woman. It comes after you’ve tried to find someone who is right for you but failed. And even if you’re in a relationship, for some reason things go awry, the relationship ends, and you’re back to square one. You reach a point that compels you to give up on love. You start asking yourself questions like, “Why me?” and can’t find an answer.

Here are three possible reasons for your failed attempt to find a partner and end your single status. Read on to find more:

Reason #1 You’re undecided to be into an intimate and committed relationship.

You really want to be in a relationship, but you still don’t want to be out of your comfort zone of being single. Sometimes people don’t like to go with things that are unfamiliar to them. They like to stick with what’s comfortable to them. Your uncertainty is preventing you from taking the emotional risk that’s crucial to get close and know a woman, let her love you, and let you love her. You ambivalent nature will keep you from fully being committed to find a woman and be in a relationship. Even if you’re in one, you keep on conspiring plans to jeopardize your relationship. For instance, you’ll date women who aren’t right for you, and if you’re on a first date, you’ll be rude or harsh to her. When your family and friends ask you why you are still single, you’ll make up excuses and reasons that you can’t find the perfect girl and so on.

Reason #2 You don’t set boundaries because you don’t value yourself enough.

You need to establish boundaries in all spheres of your life, not only in relationships. When it comes to relationships, there are rules that everyone should abide. If you sacrifice your happiness and needs to make your partner feel loved and secure, eventually you’ll lose the emotional connection you had with your partner and resent her. Boundaries are more like discipline. It creates freedom. If you don’t establish any standards in your relationship, you inevitably will be affected by your partner’s bad behavior. If you can find out what’s preventing the love you desire in the relationship, face it and try to do something about it, and get the love you want.

Reason #3 You believe you’ll find true happiness if you find a woman

If you feel that you can only be happy is you’ve had what you don’t have, you can’t be truly happy. If you always think negative about yourself, even if you’re married, little will change in your life. We agree you’ll be happy for a few months, and when the novelty wear off, and you begin to notice your girl isn’t as perfect as you thought, you’ll get upset. Your negative attitude will raise its ugly head, and you’ll find yourself miserable again.

If you’re looking for a woman, or are in a relationship, but finding it difficult to make her emotionally and physically happy, it’s maybe one or two, or probably all of the three reasons. If you see that one or all of the above reasons resonate with you, ask a friend or a therapist what to do to help you move forward.

Is Your Anxiety Stopping You From Finding Love?

Dating can be an intimidating experience for some people. And for men and women who are anxious, it’s even worse. Anxious people have difficulty in coping with uncertainty. And what’s more uncertain than dating. You’re getting to know each other, and you can know if there’s a connection or not. You’re nervous if he or she will call you for a second date or whether he or she likes you or not.

Because of your anxiety, you shut yourself from going on dates or meeting new people, shelving your plans to be in a relationship, get married, have a family and so on. Your anxiety compels you to criticize yourself and question your ability to face your fears and insecurities. Sometimes you get so overwhelmed with your anxiety that you forget to focus on your feelings, which can affect your chances to connect with a person emotionally, even if you’ve been on a few dates.

Another difficulty anxious men and women face is that there is too much pressure on dates. There is an unwritten rule to be funny, engaging enough to keep the conversation going, asking a question about each other, etc. All these prevent anxious folks to be themselves on dates. Instead, it would have been much better if both parties ask questions about each other. It will relieve some pressure from him or her, and they can pay more attention to getting to know their dates, their interests, their queries, and so on.

Another thing anxious dater get stressed about is the outcome of the date. Has something gone wrong? Let’s get this right. What will be the worst possible outcome of this date? Maybe they didn’t enjoy the date or simply not interested in you. Maybe he or she will judge you harshly or reject you. Now ask yourself, it this happens to you, will everything around you keep crashing on you? Is this the end of your life? Of course not. Just because a guy or a girl wasn’t attracted to you, and didn’t find any chemistry with you, doesn’t mean that you should stop dating. When a date doesn’t click, it doesn’t click, simple. There is simply nothing wrong with you and your date.

Now, let’s talk about something fun. Imagine you had a great date. You enjoyed your time, learned all lot about yourself you never knew off, and share some common interests, hobbies and life goals with your date. You have got more confident. You became more self-conscious about your abilities. Who knows, you started to think this person is right for you to be in a committed, long-lasting relationship.

After all, dating in all its glory is filled with uncertainty. There is no way of telling anyone that love is waiting for them and someday they will be in relationships. If you’re looking for a woman or man to love, but keep thinking that your anxiety is holding you back, then confront it. Remember, with practice comes perfection. You’ll get over your anxiety if you keep on dating and sooner or later you’ll become better at it. And the chances of you falling in love will be better.

How to Know When You’re Ready to Be In an ACTUAL Relationship

To all singles out there – you think you’re ready to be in a relationship? Before you say, first check in with yourself and determine if you’re really are willing to commit to a relationship. You may tell yourself that you’re ready and all set to settle down with someone, but in fact, it’s your behavior you’ve to look at first. There are many men and women you claim that they’re ready to start a relationship, but in reality, their behaviors tell otherwise. So, it’s your behavior that will tell you if you’re ready to begin a relationship, not what you think or say.

When you’re ready to have an adult reowlationship, your behavior will reflect if you’re ready for such kind of long-term commitment. Read on to find out what you need for being ready for a relationship.

1. Your impulsive behavior is misaligned with your actions and feelings. When you go out with your friends, you tend to over drink. When you’re bored, you visit a bar or a nightclub. We aren’t telling you that drinking or going to a nightclub is detrimental to be in a good relationship or find one. The main thing is about how your act and feel when you’re there or in a situation which indicates whether you’re ready to begin a relationship. If you get drunk every time you get depressed or visit a bar, it points that you aren’t in a position to have a healthy relationship. Sure, you’ll meet someone, but you’ll not be at your best. Eventually, you’ll see yourself having a relationship with someone not right for you. It is okay to you meet someone you like and start having a relationship with him or her. But, at first introduce yourself to them, know them, and make plans to see them in another environment.

2. You think about why your past relationships failed. It’s futile to sulk why your previous relationships didn’t last. It takes two people to screw a relationship, so it’s better you stop blaming your ex for the demise of your relationship. When you’re ready to be in a new relationship, take a look back at your past relationship, and analyze what parts of the relationship that were counterproductive and unhealthy. Try to figure out the process of not seeing these behaviors in your current relationship.

3. You got rid of all the drama. Now, that you’ve come in terms why your past relationships ended, you can now confidently say that you got rid of the drama associated with dysfunctional relationships. You’re no longer interested with your friends exploits when they had problems in their relationship such as silly make-up sex, getting back together with your ex after a few months apart and so on. You feel more mature, calm, confident and fully ready to start an adult relationship.

The bottom line is, when you think you’re ready to love someone and start a relationship, then look at your behavior, if you’re really ready for it. The only way you can have and maintain a loving, long-lasting relationship is starting it on a solid foundation. And that can only happen if you two are emotionally connected.

Are You In Love With Someone Or Simply Lusting?

What is love and what is lust? Sometimes it can be quite difficult to tell if you’re in love or lust. It’s because both are not easy to define and the difference between the two can get cloudy. Love is one the most intense of human emotions, and if you’re lusting for someone you can tell yourself that you’re in love, but the two aren’t the same. Read on to find out if you’re in love with someone or just lusting.

Are you in love or lust?

Usually love starts as lust and at some point in the relationship, love and lust might overlap, or the lust will never turn into love. What brings two people close to each other is lust. It’s the initial desire and wants to be with the person. On the other, when two people love each other they’ve the desire to stay with him or her. These experiences are felt by both partners in the relationship, but if there is lust in the relationship, both people are just attracted to each other. They don’t have the emotional connection between and only people who are in love can feel it.

Is love or lust physical or emotional?

When it comes to love and lust, there are many emotional elements that you need to look into. When you love someone, you will feel an emotional connection and engagement with him or her. If your relationship with your partner is lust, then you’re only seeking a romantic connection. If it’s lust that you crave for and that’s the main reason you started the relationship, sooner or later, there is a high possibility that your relationship will end. Lust manifest itself into a deep physical attraction for the other person and it may never turn into an emotional connection for him or her. This is why most people tend to view lust as a big deal breaker while looking for partners online.

Do you want to have a long-term relationship?

Love and lust are connected. Lust is what brings two people together, and love keep them bonded with each other. When you love someone, he or she becomes a part of your future and you will always include them in your future life plans. Without love, you can’t have a long-term relationship. Love is for the long-term, while lust is short-lived. Lust is a romantic infatuation or attraction to a person you like, while love will keep two people together even after the infatuation or the physical attraction has faded.

So, what are you hoping for?

Love is one of most wonderful expression of human emotions. If you’re looking for love, keep in mind that, love simply doesn’t creep in when you begin to have a relationship. Unlike lust, which is basically satisfying the physical needs of woman or a man, love has to be nurtured. Love is associated with vulnerability, loyalty, trust and emotional attachment. If you’re thinking to transform the lust into love in your relationship, the best way to do it, to listen and pay attention to your partners needs and desires, be committed and supportive to them.

10 Ways To Make Your Lady Fall In Love With You

Men and women who are dating or recently have experienced a break up know very well that there are no shortcuts when it comes to making someone fall in love with you.

However, if you have a special woman in your life, you can easily sweep off her feet by following these ten easy tips.

1. Listen to your lady. At the end of the day, women like to talk and work on their problems. You don’t need always to solve her problems. All she wants is to listen to her when she vents, muses or just explains her issues.

2. Compliment her. Most women put on a lot of effort to look perfect for their dates. So, it’s only fair that you compliment her. This will not only flatter her but also make her feel happy that you noticed her.

3. Support her. Be a cheerleader for her. Support her opinions, views, choices, successes and failures, and she will become your biggest fan. Hands down!

4. Be chivalrous. Chivalry isn’t dead, no matter what people tell you. Chivalry is hot and very attractive to ladies. Hold the door, pull the chair, and wait for her to seated, before you sit. Send her flowers for no reason at all. Even better, send flowers to her at work to her feel beautiful and dedicated. Remember, treating her like a lady is never going out of style.

5. Focus on Her. Gazing on your lady is boring and rude. Instead, focus on her and pay attention in a way that looks like you are interested in her.

6. Tidy up. Women don’t like to date messy guys. So, keep your rooms and stuff clean and organized. Don’t stuff your toilet or kitchen with wet towels or dirty napkins or nail clipping on your basin. You don’t want her to end things with you in a disgusting way.

7. Family is important. If you’re a man and really love your date, you will introduce her to your family and friends. It will make her think that she’s important to you and you also want your family to like her too. Also, be good friends with her buddies and be kind to her family members. Trust me you need her friends and family to like you. Otherwise, she won’t be yours forever.

8. Surprise her. Women like to be spontaneous. Surprise her with unexpected gifts or dinner dates, or take her somewhere new. Send her a flirty voicemail at work and slip her lunch on her bag while leaving for work. Crack up jokes when she feels down and bored. Encourage her to feel easy, comfortable, and be silly.

9. Ask her for advice. Ask her for her advice and feedback on matters even if you don’t need to. Consulting her on important things will make her feel appreciated and valuable.

10. Leave a Message. Regardless, if you’re meeting your special lady for the first time or taking her for the seventh date, don’t forget to text her telling her how much you enjoyed your time with her. Send her flirty and loving texts throughout the day. Also, be appreciative of her efforts to spend time with you and end by asserting that you can hardly wait to see her again. Timing is everything, so never be late for a date. If for some reason, you can’t be there on late or forget something, send her a message and let her know.

How To Seek an Emotional Connection In A Relationship

One of the important things every successful relationship must have is – an emotional connection between two partners. There have been plenty of discussions all over the place why women never end their relationships with the wrong partner. There are many factors for it, but the real reason why most women can’t end their existing relationships is that they still haven’t found it yet.

The answer is an emotional connection. If a couple has little or no emotional connection with each other in a relationship, there is no valid reason to be in that relationship. It’s because of the lack of emotional between the two partners that the relationship loses their loving sparks and eventually ends. Most women remain in dead-end relationships due to the reasons that they’re still unaware of their own emotional requirements and can’t acknowledge the importance of emotional connection in sustaining a loving and long-term relationship.

So, once you become aware of what are your emotional needs, or in case you already have emotional needs, what’s the best way you can establish an emotional connection? Here are five ways you can find an emotional connection in your relationship:

#1: Our world is imperfect. We are imperfect. So, don’t look for the perfect man because you won’t find one. Instead, focus on the search for someone who is perfect for you.

#2: While looking for a partner, consider all the qualities and behaviors that you previously listed you want to see in him or her. Now, forget about them. You are striving for an emotional connection here; it’s what you feel. It’s not something you can think and list in down in a piece of paper.

#3: Trust your instincts. Most men and women downplay the benefits of their intuitions and how can it help them in getting out of tight situations. Most women tend to ignore their guts, get it all cloudy with their thoughts, and subsequently, they start to doubt it.

#4: Your sexual chemistry is different from your emotional connection. You can have a relationship with anyone straightaway using your sexual connection, no strings attached. But, that doesn’t guarantee you two will have an emotional connection.

#5: Remember, the emotional connection won’t appear in your relationship immediately, just because you both love each other. It is not something that will find its way when two people start dating. It’s either there or not. If you think that you can’t feel any emotional connection with a person after going to two or three dates, them going to twenty or thirty more dates won't help you realize it.

The bottom line is that emotional connection is necessary for a committed and long-term relationship. It is true that most people don’t get emotionally connected to each other during the early days if dating. Some people find an emotional connection right on, while others don't. Nonetheless, lots of women hope that while dating they will see feelings developing and ultimately they will find an emotional connection with their partners over time. But, it is better to keep in mind people who are in loving, and the long-term relationship has found their emotional connection with their partners instantly.

How To Deal With People That Don’t Believe That You’re Single

It’s annoying and invasive of a person’s privacy when folks ask him or her questions like why are they still single, when they will get married, have kids and so on. It seems like everyone around us including our family members and friends always judge us because some of us aren’t in a relationship. Sometimes our friends and parents try to hook us with a blind date or pressure us to have a relationship, get married, and settle down. But, that’s a big mistake.

If you happen to be in a similar situation, here are five tips on how to deal with friends and family who are forcing us to end our single status, get married and start a family.

1. Nothing can be more important than your needs. Think and reach a decision what you want, and what’s best for you. Don’t get into a relationship or get married just because everyone else is doing it. Instead, have a relationship with someone who you love and like to spend time with.

2. If your family and friends are always bugging you to be in a relationship, instead of getting confrontational, let them know your stance. Communicate with them; tell them about your intentions, so they’ll leave you on your way. Explain the reasons why you feel this way and respond to their questions so they can understand your personality and thoughts.

3. Don’t get bent on peer pressure. There will always be folks who will continue having arguments with you and won’t leave you alone. This is where you need to put your words into action. No matter what don’t give in to their demands and arguments. Do what’s right for you and stand your ground. It’s your life, and you should allow someone else to tell you how to live your life.

4. Even after telling your friends and other acquaintances about your decision, if they still bother, perhaps you need to consider staying away from them. If your friends really like and care for you, then they need to be respectful and appreciative of you. No one likes to hang out with people who are forcing someone else something they don’t want to do.

5. Keep in mind; relationships and marriage aren’t contests that you need to win. There aren’t any consolation medals when it comes to relationships for participating. Getting married to the person who is incompatible and unhappy with, will take a toll on your happiness, mental health, emotional wellbeing, a career as well as your finances. So, take your time and have a relationship with someone that you feel happy and comfortable with. If your friends can’t be supportive, then it’s time you find friends who will.

Rushing for relationships and marriage is not a good idea. It’s you who have to make decisions, not your friends or family. It’s your life, and you should allow someone else to tell you what’s right and bad for your life especially when it comes to dating and relationship. Your friends and family may have the best intentions for your future well-being, but it’s entirely up to you to make all the important life decisions to be happy in the long-term.

Top Five Reasons You Are Not In a Relationship

Some people can’t just stop making excuses why they’re single. Some of the reasons may seem pretty wild, but most of them are mostly baseless. If you’re one of men and women who continually make up reasons why they aren’t in a relationship, then you’re blaming the wrong factors for you being single. Most singles only resort to reasons of their singleness to the ones they can control.

Here are top five reason singles say they’re not in a relationship:

1. I can’t find anyone to date

Let’s admit it; sometimes it can be hard to meet someone we like. But for many men and women, it’s not the numbers that are keeping them single; it’s their excuses. Be open and keep meeting people and date them. You’ll find someone you like eventually.

2. The good ones are already married

This statement isn’t true at all. Think for second about what places you’re visiting and who you’re socializing. If you want to meet someone you need go to places and events where single people congregate. The more people you meet and socialize, the higher chance of you meeting your future partner.

3. I will date only after I lose weight

Most people especially women, blaming their weight for being single. So, what you’ve gained a few pounds over the last few months, but that shouldn’t stop you from seeking love. It’s way too simple to excuse yourself from the dating scene because you’re depressed with your weight. Besides, what are the chances that you’ll love your body after you lose weight or you’ll be ready to date someone after losing weight? Don’t set high standards when it comes to your physical appearance and body. Keep in mind that you’ll be able to find love and have a romantic relationship regardless if you’re lighter or heavier.

4. I’m just too busy with work life

Unless you’re raising a bunch of toddlers, doing night shifts, sleeping in a new city every night – you have time to date. You might be uncomfortable putting yourself out there in the dating scene, but stop making excuses that you don’t have time to date. Remember, if you keep making an excuse you’ll never achieve your goals. It’s understandable that you can’t go on two or three dates every week, but you can manage a few hours one day a week. Besides, time management is important if you’re busy, so try to find out you can get more things done by utilizing your time efficiently.

5. I only meet people I like on vacation

If you think that you only date people when taking a holiday in some place, other than the city or area you reside in, it indicates that you’re unsure of if you want to commit in a relationship and settle down. Men and women who want to date someone other than the area they live in have some pretty valid reasons like they’re still hurt from their previous relationship, they get bored easily, or they’re still not sure if they want to have a relationship with someone they like.

If you want to have a happy and committed relationship, you should be honest about it. Start by setting up small goals that will help you to meet someone, like joining a new gym, taking art or cooking classes, volunteering for a good cause, etc. Activities like these will enable you to meet people and socialize, get you out of your comfort and in the process help you to meet your future partner.

How to Stay Hopeful When You Are Failing At Finding Love

Dating can sometimes be upsetting. Many of us feel bummed after a first date with someone who never contacts again. Some just become hopeless and avoid dating at all. Hopelessness is bad both physically and emotionally. When you feel hopeless, your feel uneasiness in your tummy, your head starts to spin, your shoulders hurt, you lose your appetite, you feel unhappy and so forth. When you’re in this state, it’s tough for someone to reassure you things will get better eventually. You’ve have lost your self-esteem, confidence, and a sense of purpose.

But stop overacting, and there’s a way out. Here are five of them:

Stop thinking of being loved as your main purpose

You won’t remain single forever. It just didn’t happen to you yet. Life is full of struggles and things like “happily ever after” are a myth. People fall in love, have relationships, get married and divorced many times in their lives. Now, singles outnumber married population in the United States, according to latest statistics. So, stop thinking that you’re useless just because you’re not in a relationship or unmarried.

Prepare for dry spells

It doesn’t matter how much free or fun your single life is, there will be times when you’ll be sick of being alone. So, if you’re free on the weekends, spend it with your friends and family, instead of running errands. Go for a fun activity or visit someplace new. The key here is not letting your lonely and depressing thoughts occupying your head.

Enjoy your alone time

If you’ve been in a relationship or dated for a while, the last thing you wanted to do is spend another lonely or dateless Friday night by yourself. We understand it’s not what we want you to do, but at least make it enjoyable by having your own party. Do a movie marathon. Cook something nice for yourself with fresh produce from the farmer’s market. Pour yourself some expensive champagne. This will make you forget that you’re not waiting for a significant other to celebrate your life.

Tell yourself that everything you’re doing is right.

The truth is if people make an effort to find love, they eventually will find it. Stay motivated and tell yourself that everything you’re doing is directed towards your cause and needs. Before going to bed, visualize about all the things that you did that day. It might be you updated your online dating profile, changed your profile photo, and responded to an email. If you’re trying to lose some weight, remember how many minutes you ran on the treadmill, or how well you did in the aerobic session and so on.

Keep in mind; this phase will be over

If you’re in wrong place or time, give yourself a time limit on how long you’ll be sloshing around in there. It is okay if sulk about your life for a night. The next day, get over it, and send out few emails, and try again.

There is nothing wrong with you’re single or finding it difficult to find someone to love and be in a relationship. Brush it all off, relax and be a little patient. You won’t be single the rest of your life. It’s just that you’ve met the person you wanted to love.

Don’t Let One Failed Relationship Derail You From Finding Love Again

Read closely – life is a series of events. They might make us happy, sad, or heartbroken. But, it’s not permanent. So, how can one traumatic event shake you to the core so badly that you feel unable to move on?

Some people may have experienced something terrible in their lives such as a breakup or divorce that they never really recovered from. They may get depressed for years, and come to believe that they’ll never try to date or talk to a potential partner again. They tell themselves that flirting with someone new isn't working, and they are quick to get down on themselves, especially in regards to relationships.

Individuals may open up emotionally about themselves just once or twice. And if something goes wrong, they could decide to not talk about themselves and stay distant for the rest of their lives. They vow that they’ll never present themselves as a vulnerable person, and all of this happened because of one single event. It seems like one incident or relationship has the power to determine how we will spend the rest of our lives. It's true that one unfortunate event can cause a major setback in your life, sometimes setting you back for days, weeks or even months. But, it's not as bad as you may think.

Our lives don’t consist of only one event. We face dozens of events all the time. We fall; we get up and move on. We fall again, we repeat it. Those of you who allow yourself to become mortified with one incident, will go into the state of “gloom”. You may shut down and tell the world that you aren’t worthy of love or a relationship. You don’t risk anything, just to protect yourself from facing another setback. One setback and you’re done with your life. This is no way to live life. Remember, you’ll always have to face some sort of challenge.

Sometimes, life doesn’t go the way we planned. Those who struggle to cope, might get consumed, while those who are strong stay resilient and persevere.

People think if they shut down emotionally then nobody will hurt them. Well, if you decide to remain emotionally unavailable, it will be extremely difficult to share a real connection with someone. So, it’s time you let go of your fear, embrace your vulnerability and set aside that single event that’s keeping you from moving forward. Be assured that you’ll feel alive and eventually find love.