Category Archives: Relationships

Always Saying ‘Yes’ Might Be Harmful To Your Relationship

We all have been at a phase in our relationship where we have been furious and resentful to our partners for a good stretch of time. It’s been reported that this most often happens when we agree on something that we actually want to disagree. It’s this false “yes” that often breeds resentment and anger in the long-term. When we’ve been in a relationship for a long time, there might be disagreements, which can spur unwanted fights. So, one of the partners says, “yes” to something where they should have told, “no,” just to avoid the argument. This might be a commendable move in the short term, but always saying ‘yes’ always might be harmful to your relationship.

When A “Yes” Becomes A “No”
Each partner in a romantic relationship has his or her boundaries that need to be respected, and when those invisible boundaries are violated over and over again, the consequences aren’t pretty. So, for example, your boyfriend comes up to you and tells you that he’ll be busy at work this week. So, he asks you to make sure that you cook dinner for both of you all week.

If you think that this arrangement will only last for the one week and after one-week things will all get back normal, where you and spouse will share all household chores equally. In these circumstances, you might say, “yes,” despite the fact that it feels a little off-putting to you. But what happens when he’s super busy the following week and the week after that and for the next couple of weeks? You want to say, “no” here and get out of it, but you feel like that you got stuck in this as agreed to cook when he’s busy. You feel wretched, but you can’t tell your partner about it. To tell the truth, most of us have been in a situation like this in our relationships and marriages.

Negotiations Start With Honesty
When you’re negotiating about something or making changes in the relationship, ensure that you’re fully honest with yourself and with your significant other.

Here are few things that you both should consider together:

If you’re saying yes to something, do you say yes to it always? Are you only saying yes to it because of particular circumstances? What are these conditions? Don’t forget to negotiate all of this in advance. If you start to feel resenting something, then this resentment is your hint that it’s time to talk about something.

Find That Resentment And Renegotiate
When you’re in a relationship, figure out what particular thing in the relationship is making you resentful. Your resentment is the cue for you to renegotiate and ensure that you get back on even terms. If and your partner keeps holding on to resentment, it won’t do your relationship any good. If you think that having a conversation about it is will be hard and will make your partner disappointed, don’t hesitate, they’re upset already. So, feel it, be open to it, and talk about it.

These Are Some The Worst Habits That Can Ruin Your Relationship

Successful relationships can be made and broken in how you treat each your partner every day. It’s often the small and simple things such as your attitude, how you resolve the conflicts, and what your focus is on the relationship is that will eventually keep you together or push you apart. But how can you mess up the harmony in your relationship?

Here are five unwanted habits that create negativity in your relationship and will tear it apart:

You Always Worry About What Other People Think
When it comes to relationships every person’s wants and needs are different. So, don’t obsess of what other people need or what your friends are doing. Instead, focus on forging a relationship with your significant other that works for the both of you.

Your Ego Gets In Your Way
Most couples while arguing with each other get caught up in trying to be right in the argument. This is one of the biggest mistakes most couples do. In an argument if your focus is in trying to prove your partner wrong and forcing them to acknowledge that you're right, you lose direction of what you're actually trying to do in the first place; resolve a problem. Therefore, let go of your ego. Focus on establishing a space where both of you can express your concerns over the problem. Communicate and work with your spouse as a team to find a solution that works for the both of you.

You Allow Your Past To Define You Or Your Partner
Your exes and past relationships shouldn't be used as a yardstick for your existing relationship. Just because your past relationships failed doesn’t mean that your current relationship will fail too. Instead, you’ll be much better off if you can learn from your mistakes and make different, yet wise choices. Your girlfriend can forget her past too. Never think of using her past against her for your interests in the relationship. Concentrate on your present and future together.

You Hold Grudges And Resentments
Holding onto your grievances and resentments, both old and new, can poison your relationship over time. If you want to have a healthy, long-lasting relationship, you can’t have any walls between you and your partner, and grudges build invisible barriers. These negatives emotions will prevent you from expressing your true feelings towards your spouse. When you’re upset or angry about something from the past, you can't emotionally connect with your girlfriend or enjoy any intimacy – physical and emotional. So, if you want to have a happy and stable relationship – learn how to forgive, forget, and let go of grudges and resentments.

You Try To Change Her
Love your partner for who she is. Don’t try to change or fix your girlfriend, and turn her into someone else. If you attempt to change her, you’re, subconsciously, rejecting her for who she is and sending a message that she isn't good enough to be your significant other. So, if you’re looking for a relationship always aim to create a relationship full of love, care, support and acceptance that will inspire both of you to grow and evolve in the relationship.

Are You In Denial About The Problems In Your Relationship?

You can’t find any relationships that are free from challenges and arguments. But, most men and women are in denial of all the many problems plaguing their relationships. To all those folks we would like to say that if you’re in denial, it will make it harder for you to be in good relationships or ruin the ones you’re already in.

So, what is denial? Overall, denial is easy, and it means that you don’t think long and hard about a possible emotional problem or challenge you have. Denial means that you don’t acknowledge the problem altogether and say that it’s untrue. So, what is the opposite of the denial? The alternative to denial is having an insight into yourself and assuming responsibility for your behaviors, actions or beliefs that might be termed as misguided or problematic. You must assume responsibility for your actions that might be immoral, disrespectful, selfish, or stupid.

Now, how can you realize that your constant denial of the problems is negatively impacting your relationship or dating life? Here are few examples to put the topic into perspective:

1. You keep hearing the same kind of negative feedback from friends, family, exes or other people you’ve dated
Listen to this carefully; if a lot of people have told you there is something wrong or misguided about your personality or your behavior, it’s highly likely to be true. It doesn’t mean that they’re 100 percent right, but if they always criticize it, then there is probably some truth to it. People, who are not in denial, where they hear something negative about them from others, they’ll pause for a moment, reflect on it, and will check if there is any truth to it. If your ex or someone you’re dating says that something you say or do is hurtful or harmful, you’ve to listen and focus on it, if you want to be someone who has a good, healthy relationship.

In other words, you should be open and self-reflective to be in a healthy and committed relationship. The truth is that we all have issues, so it’s fully normal and start to acknowledge your shortcomings or flaws and ask yourself if there are any problems you have that needs to be worked on which will make you a good romantic partner.

2. You dislike talking about feelings
Frankly, you can’t have a decent relationship, if you withhold or not talk about your feelings. You won’t like this, but when it comes to dating and relationships, if you fail or don’t look honestly at your feelings and communicate them with your significant other – there is a high possibility that your relationship will fail.

3. You blame others for your problems
Most of us who are dating or have dated people in the past, when they notice a particular behavior that’s bothering them, they directly told it to them that what they do or say that is wrong. Men and women, who are not in denial, will listen to it, take a few seconds, and will say that, they know that they aren’t perfect, and will try to address the issue because they care how about their partners’ feelings. Meanwhile, blamers live in denial. They don’t believe that anything they do is wrong, and they won’t think about working on it at an emotional level unless coerced to do so.

So, rather than in denial, you better face the problem and find a solution to the crisis. It will greatly help to rebuild the existing relationship or find a new one.

The 1 Fight All Couples Ready To Have to Tie The Knot HAVE!

There isn’t any relationship where couples don’t fight or argue with each other. But, there is one fight that all couples have before they get married. What is it you might ask? Well, it’s the fight for control. Marriage should be all about bringing two different worlds together and experience the shared feelings of joy and happiness of life and love. But, this exciting and sometimes overwhelming transition consists of disagreements, conflicts, friction, and a natural resistance to change.

So, what should be done to address the pattern of control before it begins or before things get out of control? Here are some ways to let go of your fight for control, whether it's an argument about your marriage, or something else:

Don’t Just Sweep It Under The Rug
Avoiding something will only lengthen the conflict and will make the problems messier and complicated to deal with the next time. Whenever you’re feeling frustrated, insecure or angry with your significant other about something, have a conversation about it in a soft tone. Be brave, be respectful, and be assertive with your partner when it comes to conflict and other differences. Keep in mind; control is all about winning. If you realise that 80 percent of all the stuff couples argue about are can’t be fully resolved, then the primary intention should be more about understanding and respect each other’s personal opinions and point of view, and less about being who is right.

Know Yourself
The main reason why couples fight is to exert his or her control in the relationship. Therefore, it’s important to be aware of how you tend to fight for control. Are you willing to shame your partner, put others down, or simply shame or humiliate yourself? Are you thinking of playing the victim card, or manipulate through entitlement or blame? When you feel sad, disconnected, lonely, or anxious about certain facets marriage, do you hide or withhold your emotions from your boyfriend or girlfriend? Being self-aware takes vulnerability, carefulness, and a willingness to accept responsibility for your role in all the conflicts you’ve and will have in the relationship. Remember, uncovering your tactics isn’t something your spouse is expected to do. Being accountable for your part in the conflict will allow you to be more honest as well as assertive in those moments.

Revisit Your Connection
What are you doing at staying connected to one another? Before the wedding, it’s highly important that both of you validated by each other despite the fights and arguments you both are having. It’s imperative to maintain an intentional connection with your partner by responding to your partner’s bids for connection both physical and emotional. Put a high priority on date nights and spend quality time together without talking about the wedding. Control is an illusion which you’ll never fully be able to change, know or control with 100 percent certainty that your significant other will be there for you and remain committed to the relationship at all times. We can’t guarantee that your union will be healthy and an everlasting one. This is the risk you have to take of being in a relationship.

4 Questions You Should Never Ask Your Boyfriend!

You can’t have a healthy, lasting relationship if there is a lack of communication in the relationship. Healthy communication is vital in a healthy relationship, and most men are willing to answer any questions their girlfriends throw at them. However, there are few questions that you should never ask your boyfriend unless you want him to be super angry and irritated to you.

Here are four questions to never ask a man, no matter what.

1. Do You Think I Look Fat?
Most men resent this question. Why? Because, first of all, there is no clear or right answer to this question. If he says “no,” his partner might accuse him of lying. If he says, “yes,” in a brutal and honest way, it will only hurt her feelings. Guys are attracted to confident and strong women, who love themselves. But, asking questions like these will make you look needy and insecure.

2. What Was Your Ex Like?
Consider what your intentions are, before you ask your man this question. Are you trying to get an insight into what are his preferences in women, or what types of women he feels attracted to? This question shows that you are nosy, curious, and feel jealous that he's been in love with someone before you came. Now that you've come to understand why you asked this question consider this: does it matter? If your man isn’t dating her anymore and is with you now, what else you need to know that’s important. As we said earlier, asking questions like these will make you look needy and insecure. Your man ended his previous relationship for a reason. Therefore, don't give him a reason to look back.

3. Will You Call Me When You Reach There? Will You Text Me When You Reach There? Will You Text Me When You Are Leaving? Will You Call Me When You Go To Bed?
Guys love to call and text their girlfriends. But, remember they do this because when they want to do, not for the reason that you owe them to do this, or feel like they have to. A guy will slowly begin to resent you more and more each time when he feels like he has to call or text you and “report or document” his every move or anything he does, or anywhere he feels like going. You might feel safe and secure getting his phone calls and texts, but that won’t make him love you more. Rather it will be much better for you enjoy the attention he will give you if your guy makes his own choices about what he wants you to know, and let him tell you that he's thinking about you and that you're very important in his life.

4. How Do You See Us After 10 Or 15 Years?
Heck, many men don't have a 5-year plan for their relationship, let alone a 10 or a 15-year plan. Guys like to live in the moment, and they enjoy every second they spend with the woman they genuinely love and care about. However, this doesn’t mean that guys don't want long-term goals. It’s different for them. When a guy is in a committed, intimate relationship with you, he is not actually thinking how the relationship will turn out after ten years down the road. Most likely, he's happy with how things are going and just wants it to be it that way.

How Not To Feel Insecure In A New Relationship

It’s wonderful being in a new relationship. Getting to know that new special someone, getting butterflies in your tummy while looking at them – it’s an amazing feeling and experience. You both holding hands, share your hopes and dreams for the future, great sex, and feeling insecure. Wait. What? Feeling vulnerable? Where on earth did that come from? Yes, when we become attached to someone we love deeply; a sense of insecurity can show its ugly face because we are afraid of loss. If left uncontrolled this fear of loss can harm your new relationship.

When you're feeling insecure, here are some ways that will bring back the confidence in your new relationship:

Tell Yourself That You’re Awesome In Every Way
Think about that man you met when you were single and who wasn’t questioning your self-worth. This man is the man who made you feel insecure. This is the man who has decided to date an awesome like you. Remember you’re an awesome woman in every way. Nobody can be you. Also, keep in mind that you’re so awesome that more than one guy wants to date you. And if the guy you’re dating can’t appreciate who you are, then it’s his loss. By the way, you have a job that you love; ran in marathons, have great friends you love to spend time with, and so on and so forth. How awesome is that?

Live Your Life
If you’ve met someone, then don’t sit around idle and wait to for him or her to call you for a date. This is nothing but a waste of time. You have a life to live. So, enjoy it, live it. Do your work well, and try to get that promotion. Take yoga classes. Play with your dog. Hang out with friends. Do all of the stuff that makes you feel good about yourself. Also doing all the things that you like doing will make you active and busy, and in the meantime, if a guy reaches out to you, he‘ll keep wondering why you aren't busy with him. And that’s a good thing.

Remember You're Not Alone Who Is Feeling This Way
The more attached we are to someone we love, the more we fear to lose them. This fear of losing someone we are deeply connected to might change or impact us in ways that might seem foreign. For example, a highly confident woman might get replaced with a shy woman you used to before you started looking for a relationship. But do you know that this new person in your life might be feeling the same way too? They might like to call or text, or would like to take you on a date. You might find them needy. And that's a good sign and will make you feel less insecure.

Unplug Yourself From Social Media
When you’re in a new relationship, there is one thing that you should stop doing – spending time on social media. Social media can lead us down the road to despair and loneliness, even in good times. Stop looking at how other people are living, and then comparing it with yours. It’s a total waste of time. Don’t stalk your suitor on social media because it would only hurt you, if you see him doing things with someone that he shouldn’t be doing, or if you just can’t find him. Therefore, go live your life again. Don’t just sit around and stop looking what everyone else’s life looks like.

Harsh Truths About Relationships No One Wants To Confess

Dating these days is simple, easy and convenient, that is if you prefer it that way. But, some people will argue of dating being easy or simple ranting that dating and relationships these days are so complicated, and nobody wants any commitment. It's true to some extent, but if you want to be in a real, stable, long-lasting relationship, you need to have depth and emotional engagement in the relationship. Also, there are some things that you’ll need to admit to yourself and to the man or woman you’re interested in before you can commit to a relationship.

Here are some undeniable truths about relationships people should understand:

1. You need to be happy with yourself before you can make someone happy. Of all the relationships you’ll have in your life, the most important one is the one you’ve with yourself. If that one isn’t good, none of your others relationships are going to be successful.

2. Eventually, things are going to suck in the end. If you’re expecting that your relationship will have a fairy tale ending, that’s not going to happen. The reality is that every relationship will face challenges. You’ll have family issues, illnesses, arguments, disagreements, disappointments, and so on and so forth. The sooner you be accepting to these harsh realities of relationships and reach an understanding that things aren’t going to be perfect, the sooner you’ll be settled in a committed relationship. Nothing will ever be the way you had imagined before you were in a relationship. That’s the real beauty of relationships that we absolutely have no idea how it’s going to look like in the future.

3. Most people expect way too much from their dates. You need to have a certain level of standards for yourself, and make sure that you never settle for less than you deserve. Give your energy and time to people who truly deserve it. But, some people tend to take a little too far and expect way too much from people. It’s important to be flexible and realize that no one is perfect. Sometimes, you will need to make compromises and be comfortable and accept people for who they are, rather what you expect them to be.

4. Actions speak louder than words – and they do really! Just telling your girlfriend or boyfriend that you love and care about them isn’t enough. You’ll also need to put some effort consistently to show them. And, if you do it for them, they also have to do the same for you.

5. Leave your past behind you. We all have our pasts, and more or less we are all affected by it. We are always reminded of our pasts, but we cannot live in it unless we want to repeat it over and over again. We can’t forget or discard our pasts. Instead, we need to take lessons from it and learn from it. We need to take only the good parts and get rid of the bad ones.

6. Be prepared to lose a lot before you can win. If you’ve failed to secure a relationship only after being only to three dates and you’re ready to give up, you need to ask yourself if you’re really ready for such a commitment. You see, dating is a lot like playing poker, sometimes you’ve to lose a lot before you win. But, if you don’t play or in this case date again because you’re afraid of losing, or getting rejected again, then you’ll never be able to score a relationship.

How To Get Back Affection In Your Relationship If It’s Lost

For most people, affection is what makes a relationship a relationship. If you’re longing for affection in your relationship or marriage right now and want to be kissed, hugged, or just want to hear the words, “I love you,” then you are not alone. Hundreds and thousands of couples are longing to be desired and cherished. If you are upset and frustrated because your relationship lacks affection, you will yourself unimportant, lonely, ignored and unloved.

If you are at this phase in your relationship, then read on to find out what works and what doesn’t in a relationship devoid of affection:

Don’t Bring It Up
Don’t talk about the lack of affection in your relationship, not even occasionally with boyfriend or girlfriend. Talking about it will not get your partner to change. Ask or begging feels terrible, even if your man or woman eventually tries to give it to you. This might or feel good to you at the moment, but the main thing is that it never works in the long-term. So our advice is: don't do it! It is okay for you to be cherished and desired if you realize that there is a lack of affection, but asking, begging or even joking about affection feels horrible.

By ordering affection, your significant another will, in fact, be reluctant to be affectionate with you. And when that happens, it’s really painful. It will not only harm you emotionally and physically, but it will also make your partner run far away from you. Rather than telling them what to do or not being able to control their habits or behavior, develop a habit of showing them love and appreciation, and make them happy in different ways by gestures, gifts, respect, and so on and so forth.

Avoid The Affection Trap And Lack Of Physical Intimacy
Some couples feel frustrated because they aren’t having sex as much as they did before. Some couples have already accepted or became habituated with sexless relationships. Couples who are facing this issue tell that their partners are never in the mood and turn it down after they initiate it. They get frustrated and discouraged about it and no longer bother to make an effort. Meanwhile, the other person complains that they don’t like getting physically intimate with their lovers because they ignore them all day and fed up with the lack of affection. The thing one partner wants sex and isn’t getting it, so they stop being affectionate, while the other party doesn't want to have because they want affection. If you want to get rid of this vicious circle, one or both need to give first.

Focus On What You Can Control
When you’re in a relationship, you can never control someone the way you want to. In fact, controlling behavior in a romantic relationship will lead it to distance, resistance, and break up. But, there is something that you can control; you and your happiness. Focus on being fun, happy, easygoing, and the flirting, love and affection will flow naturally. Most men or women admit they have not been affectionate towards their significant others because they feel unhappy and stressed. By focusing more on your happiness and self-care, you will be more attractive and can give them the affection that they need.

Are You Having Less Sex Than Before? Here’s Why

Having less sex now than before? If yes, you're not alone. When it comes to physical intimacy, every couple has their own optimal levels. This is similar to every person who’s emotional and physiological needs are unique. The same can be applied to relationships, as well. These days, sexless marriages are becoming more common, especially in long-term relationships.

So, why is that couples are having less sex than their parents? One main factor that can impact our sexual wellness is stress. Recent research found that in the last 5 to 10 years, men and women are experiencing high levels of personal and financial stress. When we feel anxious and stressed out, we lose our desires to have sex. Such financial troubles are more rampant than before. Recent financial and economic turmoil have led chronic unemployment, massive credit card debt, bankruptcy, and foreclosures. These unfortunate events have affected severely singles and couples in huge numbers.

Things can get worse when one of the partners blames or takes out their frustrations on the other person for his or her financial stress, rather than the external economic forces in society. These arguments build up negative emotions that might lead to more physical and emotional stress. And when you’re dealing with sex you avoid sex with your spouse.

Then there is that nowadays most couples have careers. This can make it increasingly hard for couples to relax and make time to be physically intimate with each other. If one of you is interested in some action and the other person isn’t, then it can result in anger, resentment, and frustration. Partners will feel less appreciated for their job and the contribution they’re giving in the relationship. If this keeps on continuing, then the accumulated undesired for sex and frustration may consequently pave the way for lack of interest and attraction for each other. If you’ve been toiling hard all day, and in some cases, all night, it is hard to be sexy and passionate lovers when you get home.

Another primary factor that can impact our sexual well-being is financial stress. Uncontrollable financial stress might force both partners to work more and being exhausted. Sex requires both mental and physical energy, and if you’re exhausted, you won’t have the energy or desire to engage in any passionate love talk, let alone sex. Physical exhaustion can also rob of our good night sleep, which will make you feel tired and less energetic to have sex or spend some quality time together. For guys, your physical exhaustion can lead sexual dysfunction that can affect your ability to perform sexually or satisfy your partner. The longer you go without sex, the lesser you want to have sex, which will build up the frustration even more.

In a healthy relationship, sex is vital and beneficial in some ways, both emotional and physical, though it’s not always necessary all the time. Physical intimacy enhances our sense of connection and relatedness with partners, and sex also releases endorphins that make us feel good. So, whatever the reasons are, talking with your significant about your sexual desires or needs are, and don’t hesitate to tell him or him whatever they might be. If it’s useful, just do it!

Do Arguments With Your Partner Make Relationship Thrive?

Yes, you read that right. But how? You see there are no relationships in real life, where couples don’t argue or fight with each other. Despite what you see in TV shows and movies, no relationships are perfect. If you’re new in the dating scene, keep in mind, that it’s perfectly normal for you to have an argument with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Most couples do. So, relax.

But, it’s also necessary to know that if the arguing and fighting among the two people in a romantic relationship cross the limits, it can end up in a breakup, and no one wants that. Fighting constantly over serious issues, and sometimes petty things also mean you don't love each other enough. But, you can escape the fact that if you’re in love, you’ll fight. Yes, you read that right – again.

It doesn't matter, if you’re dating your soul mate, arguments are inevitable. You and your partner can be fully compatible with each other in every way. You both share the same interests, beliefs, and ideas. But, there will be some areas or topics that you’ll have a different view. You started dating your boyfriend or girlfriend in the hope of spending the rest of your life with him or her, and withholding your alternative feelings and thoughts isn’t the right thing to do if you want a healthy, lasting relationship.

If you withhold your thoughts and emotions inside of you, then the resentment and anger will just keep piling up, and eventually, will come bursting out, that will not only hurt all the people around you, who cares and loves you, but it will harm your relationship. But, it’s critical to understand that there are some differences between healthy fighting and unhealthy fighting.

You and your boyfriend or girlfriend each has your own views and opinions to stand to, and often at the brink of cutting each other off to prove your point? While arguing do, you notice that in your arguments, you and your significant other have a tendency to put off each other and their opinions down? If yes, then probably it's time to make a change in the way you argue or fight, as all these are indications of unhealthy fighting.

On the other hand, healthy fighting is when you wait for the other person to finish before you respond. In a healthy argument, you get the opportunity to be in your spouse’s shoes and understand what it is that’s making them feel bothered, concerned, worried, or upset about. However, that doesn’t mean that there won’t be any shouting or yelling and that you’ve to agree to their points and give in to their demands. It means that you’re doing your best to address whatever is annoying you, and trying to take care of your partners needs at the same time.

When you’re in a relationship, the key to a healthy fight is excellent communication. Communication during the fight is crucial because you can express your feelings appropriately, and understand how the other person is feeling. Nonetheless, it's important that you communicate before you fight. Pause for a moment, sit down with your partner, and have a discussion about the rules that both of you should follow when you fight. For example, neither of you can interrupt the other when he or she is talking. Remember, every relationship has its fights, and there is no perfect partner. Keep that in mind, and your relationship will only grow stronger!