Category Archives: Relationships

Four Key Qualities Ladies Should Look For In A Man

Ladies, when looking for a man, some qualities make a man great. It’s not true when people say finding men with these qualities is hard. However, if you’re really serious about being in a relationship, identify the ones that look important to you and stick with them. Here are four qualities all ladies should look for in a man:

1. He’s gentleman and mature. What makes a guy great is when he is polite, gentle, respectful, attentive and considerate towards women. This also includes opening the door of a car, taking her coat, walking her to the door when she leaves, etc. The world would have a much better place if all guys were gentlemen. Meanwhile, a great guy is mature. It means that he can take care of himself, be responsible towards his life and faces problem in a calm manner. A mature man understands the value of being independent and values what he has, and know how to spend his wealth wisely and responsibly.

2. He should be direct and honest. Few ladies want to date a man with a “whatever” attitude. A good guy will look straight into your eyes when he talks to you, and seem genuinely interested in what you say to him. He should be able to have engaging conversations with you. Honesty is also an attractive trait in a man. A genuinely honest man will always tell you the truth. He won’t say anything that’s false to impress you. He will say exactly what he feels and knows about something. A man who isn’t honest and direct with women is a sign of weakness; no one likes to date a weak guy.

3. He’s faithful and values integrity. Being faithful is one of the most important qualities every man must have. It’s difficult to know if a man has cheated with his previous partners, but if you know it for sure, then it’s for your best that you don’t date him. Another important characteristic in great men is that they have integrity. Integrity means he keeps his promises when he gives one. A woman can easily be attracted to a man who has integrity and ambition as it makes them think that they’re highly respectable in social circles and financially sound, even in reality they aren’t.

4. He’s self-confident and has a positive attitude. A great man is confident of himself and who he is. This quality is necessary because when a man has high self-esteem and confidence, he won’t change to someone else, and will remain true to himself. A confident man can’t be rebuked from what he thinks or believes to be true and won’t be coerced into doing things that he’s not comfortable with. Also, a great guy should possess a positive attitude, even if things are experiencing a negative vibe. People want to be around with someone who has a positive outlook, and he tries to bring the best of people, tries to have fun and make others happy. A confident man will always be smiling and will undoubtedly bright up your day.

Overall, you don’t need to find a man who has all of these qualities, but that would be perfect. Consider dating men, who reveals these dating secrets and have most of these characteristics or the ones that seem more important to you.


How To Seek an Emotional Connection In A Relationship

One of the important things every successful relationship must have is – an emotional connection between two partners. There have been plenty of discussions all over the place why women never end their relationships with the wrong partner. There are many factors for it, but the real reason why most women can’t end their existing relationships is that they still haven’t found it yet.

The answer is an emotional connection. If a couple has little or no emotional connection with each other in a relationship, there is no valid reason to be in that relationship. It’s because of the lack of emotional between the two partners that the relationship loses their loving sparks and eventually ends. Most women remain in dead-end relationships due to the reasons that they’re still unaware of their own emotional requirements and can’t acknowledge the importance of emotional connection in sustaining a loving and long-term relationship.

So, once you become aware of what are your emotional needs, or in case you already have emotional needs, what’s the best way you can establish an emotional connection? Here are five ways you can find an emotional connection in your relationship:

#1: Our world is imperfect. We are imperfect. So, don’t look for the perfect man because you won’t find one. Instead, focus on the search for someone who is perfect for you.

#2: While looking for a partner, consider all the qualities and behaviors that you previously listed you want to see in him or her. Now, forget about them. You are striving for an emotional connection here; it’s what you feel. It’s not something you can think and list in down in a piece of paper.

#3: Trust your instincts. Most men and women downplay the benefits of their intuitions and how can it help them in getting out of tight situations. Most women tend to ignore their guts, get it all cloudy with their thoughts, and subsequently, they start to doubt it.

#4: Your sexual chemistry is different from your emotional connection. You can have a relationship with anyone straightaway using your sexual connection, no strings attached. But, that doesn’t guarantee you two will have an emotional connection.

#5: Remember, the emotional connection won’t appear in your relationship immediately, just because you both love each other. It is not something that will find its way when two people start dating. It’s either there or not. If you think that you can’t feel any emotional connection with a person after going to two or three dates, them going to twenty or thirty more dates won't help you realize it.

The bottom line is that emotional connection is necessary for a committed and long-term relationship. It is true that most people don’t get emotionally connected to each other during the early days if dating. Some people find an emotional connection right on, while others don't. Nonetheless, lots of women hope that while dating they will see feelings developing and ultimately they will find an emotional connection with their partners over time. But, it is better to keep in mind people who are in loving, and the long-term relationship has found their emotional connection with their partners instantly.


Don’t Indulge In Romantic Games While Dating

Most men and women often find themselves playing romantic games on dates instead of having a direct conversation. To put this into context, this is how it goes;

First, the two people meet for the first time. They have coffee, and then go out for a drink. They have dinner at the next date. Both people realize they’ve some chemistry and start dating – sort of. They decided it's way early to make their relationship exclusive, so the two starts seeing other people at the same time. A while later, they think of having a relationship but aren’t sure about how to commit in the relationship. Now, they’re in a committed relationship, started to call themselves boyfriend and girlfriend. Things are getting more serious now, and a week later one of the partners decided to call off the relationship. A week later, both started dating someone else.

Well, it’s not that bad. But the main point is that sometimes people tend to take their relationship to another level without having a serious conversation with their partners. In other words, there is a communication disparity in the relationship. Often couples keep on wondering about the status of their relationship, and where is it heading. But, it would have been much easier if both the partners asked each other about it.

If you’re dating someone new and feel uncertain about some issues, be direct and honest and just ask him or her before you begin having an exclusive relationship. Have an in-depth conversation and try to understand If you’re putting too much pressure on him or her or scaring him or her. Also, make sure that you don’t appear overly desperate or controlling to them because these two factors are deal-beakers when it comes to dates as well as in relationships. Try to establish a communication without looking desperate. Be curious instead of controlling. There’s a significant difference. It’s all about how to ask the questions and react to answers.

Ask your date if you both are in committed relationship. If not, then tell that you want a committed relationship. Also, ask your date if he or she is dating someone. Also tell your date that if you too are seeing someone else. Decide, if both of you are interested in dating multiple people or not.

If you notice that these questions are making the other nervous or uncomfortable, then you can safely say that this date is going nowhere or to the direction you wanted it to go. So, you’ve wasted a lot of time and your emotions on something, whose only outcome is unwanted suffering and emotional pain.

Nonetheless, there’s a silver lining here. Asking direct questions and receiving direct replies means that you don’t have to guess or wonder. If neither of you likes the answers, then both of you can end it, move on and find someone else to date. You can save plenty of your time and effort in the process.

If you have doubts, whether and when you’re going to see each other the next time, then you aren’t in a relationship. If you both didn’t have a serious conversation about having a committed relationship, then you aren’t in one. If he or she calls or text you a week or once in a while, it’s very likely that they’re dating someone else. It is true that being too honest and direct can be scary to some people, but it will prevent you from anxiety and wasting your time.


Is It A Bad Idea To Snoop on Your Partner?

One of the difficult circumstances a couple can face in a relationship is infidelity. Cheating can destroy a marriage. However, there are also examples when a couple is hopeful of staying in the relationship and taking steps so that it doesn’t happen again. They’re willing to forgive their spouses for their actions, forget everything and move forward in a more passionate and loving way.

Most people suggest that if you think that your partner is cheating on you or can cheat on you, then snooping on him or her would have stopped the person from committing infidelity. However, that’s not entirely true. When it comes to relationships snooping on your partner is ineffective. It’s because snooping on a person breaches his or her privacy and trust. We, humans, are territorial by nature. We want to have our own space. We value and respect the private life of ourselves and others. When someone invades our privacy and takes away what’s ours, we usually react to it strongly and become defensive.

This is why you should never snoop or spy on your partners. If you suspect that your partner is cheating on you, snoop on him or her to find out the details, and later present the “evidence” to your spouse, you won’t expect a positive outcome. Rather, your partner will tell you that you have breached their privacy and trust. They will go into defensive mode and simply deny their actions.

If you’re suspicious that your partner might be having an affair, then instead of confronting them in a defensive manner, have an open conversation about it. Here are few tips how you can get the most from it:

• Have the conversation in a safe and calm place that you both have previously agreed.
• Choose a time that you feel calmed and relaxed enough to have the discussion.
• Start by expressing your fears, insecurities, and concerns, and try to explain why you feel it.
• Be precise about the signs or behaviors of your partner that made you suspicious that he or she is having an affair.
• Step back for a moment, and attentively listen to what your partner has to say.
• Recollect what you’ve heard and understood from your spouse. It will help you to avoid misinterpretation and being confused.

It’s critical that each partner maintains their cool and tone of voice, so both partners get assured that there won’t be any serious fights or arguments over the matter.

However, if you still did some snooping around, and discovered evidence of infidelity of your partner, try to deal with your emotions first, before discussing the subject with your spouse. Ask for support and talk about your feelings with a close and trusted friend, or a therapist. It’s okay to be heartbroken, and it’s important that you acknowledge the pain you’re feeling and how can you deal with it. Eventually, the emotional pain will go away, and you need to cope with it. There are a lot of marriages and relationships that have survived infidelities. Patience, counseling, working hard on rebuilding trust will ultimately bring back the love in the relationship.


Four Things To Do When Your Relationship Starts to Lose It’s Spark

Being in love is wonderful. The excitement of meeting someone new brings joy and the best within us. We feel like our lives are full of exciting possibilities ahead until this happens. The relationships feel stale, the sparks aren’t flying, or there might be other issues like money problems, kids, problems at work and so on. Regardless of the cause, when the flame in the relationship dims or goes out altogether, then the future becomes full of potholes and broken dreams. However, with the right approach, you can make your relationship great again.

The best way to work on your relationship is to make sure that you want to make your relationship exciting again and thinking about it in the right way. We’ve discovered some undeniable truth that can help the couple to bring the mojo back into their marriage and relationships:

Conflict is great for your relationship. It might seem odd to most people. Often people assume that if there are conflicts in your marriage, then you’re with the wrong person. Folks also suggest that if things get back, end the marriage, or break up. Well, it’s a bad advice. Instead, if you’re sincere in working on your problems in the relationship, something is amazing and beautiful waiting for you in your life. The key is you should know how to resolve conflicts in an ingenious way that compliments you and your partner. So, change your perspective on conflicts and take it as an opportunity to make your relationship grow and make it better.

It’s not only him; it's you too. Stop blaming your partner for all the problems in your relationship. We know it’s tough, especially if you’re feeling dejected, and it looks like your irritating partner is the root cause of your agony. But keep in mind we often fall in love with a person who has the potential for deep, enduring connection, similar to the feelings we have with our parents. Once you get over all the arguments, you start to feel it. So, the next time, you start fighting with your partner, remember, it’s your past that you should be blaming, not your partner.

Bring the fun back into the relationship. Sometimes we become so busy with our relationship; we forget how to enjoy and cherish it. What’s the point of doing all the things with your partner if you aren’t having fun? Humor and joy are crucial for a couple’s happiness. So, get out there and have some fun. Try taking cooking classes or dancing class with your partner and bring the fun back in your relationship.

Ditch all negativity. If you’re dedicated to bringing back the love in your relationship, then get rid of all the negativity. Stop focusing too much on the bad. You won’t find a single relationship without at least some negativity. Negativity in a relationship includes voice tones, any/all words, facial expressions, body language and behaviors that can make a person feel negative towards his or her partner. The more negativity there is in the relationship, the more troubling is your relationship. Therefore, you need to get rid of all negativity, if you want your relationship to last and thrive.

So, there you have it – these suggestions may help you be better spouses to each other and create the loving, blissful, long-lasting relationship you always wanted. If you want a fresh start, you can check this out on how to get a girl.


Important Things to Know When Dating Someone Older

Most men and women are judgmental when you’ve date someone who is significantly older than you. You start hearing dating rules such, “Don’t date someone ten years older than you,” or “Your marriage won’t last because your husband is 20 years older than you”, and so forth. The truth is people love rules, and they believe that by adhering to them they won’t get hurt. In reality, it’s untrue. Age is just a number and age differences have nothing to for a relationship to work. Just ensure that you both have the same goals for your life and the relationship together.

Psychological Age Vs. Chronological Age

We all have a chronological age, and then we also have, which most call it, a psychological age. Chronological age refers to they feel old because of their age, or if a person’s age reflects how the old they feel. Now, psychological age is a little different. If you’re dating someone who is significantly older, try to assess whether he or she has younger friends, enjoys music, likes to dance or workout, have hobbies, is spontaneous or not, have an active social life and so on. If you answer these questions sincerely, you’ll have plenty of information whether you can have a long-term relationship with an older person. However, instead of asking the questions directly to him or her, be discreet and gather the information over time. If won’t be fully correct, but you can get a glimpse of how things will work out in the future.

Determine Your Respective Sexual Interests

Don’t assume that he or she isn’t very sexually active because they're older than their partners. Often people put too much emphasize on the importance of sexual attraction, whenever they see someone dating an older person. Though it is necessary to some extent, every person’s sexual preference are different.

Analyze Your Tendency For Indulgences

Some behaviors are harmless, but the same behaviors can become a problem or even addiction if taken to extremes. For example; drinking alcohol, gambling, traveling, spending, and shopping. So, if you like these, then you need to find someone who also likes these things or someone who is okay doing those things without him or her.

Assess Your Social Circles

If you’re dating someone older and before making your relationship official, think about your friends, family members, co-workers, and even acquaintances with whom you usually socialize. Try to visualize how your older partner will fit in your social circle as of today’s standards. Besides, also think about all the people your older partner socializes. Try to assess if he or she feel relaxed and comfortable socializing with the crowd. A harmonious relationship will only take place if there’s a reasonably coherent overlap of the two social circles.

The takeaway is being in love with a person who is much older than you can be a very rewarding as well as one of the most frustrating experiences in your life. Even though being compatible is a critical factor in any relationship, the stakes are raised even higher when one of the partners is significantly older than the other. So, think about all the important factors in deciding if you want to have a relationship with someone older.


Which Is Worse For Relationships? Nagging or Cheating?

For most us, we think nagging is an annoying behavior, but pretty genial and harmless. Some people went to extremes and claimed that nagging could be more disastrous to marriage than cheating. While we don’t think nagging can actually destroy a relationship or marriage like infidelity does, we all can agree that it can be really detrimental to relationships. Here, I have presented three important ways that relentless nagging can rock the foundations of a loving relationship.

#1 Communication

To explain this, let’s talk about a scenario. During a long drive, a nagger becomes nervous. The nagged person or the driver is the one that has trigged his partner’s anxiety, because of his aggressive driving. So, the nagger constantly reminds him of the speed limit every five minutes, and she uses her hands and legs and her voice, persuading him to lower the speed. With each passing hour, the nagger’s hands, feet, and voice becomes more relentless to the point that the nagged one gets less attentive or in extreme cases, might explode in irritation. Both partners feel misunderstood, their mutual communication breaks down, and most likely they didn’t understand the other person. So, you see nagging steals empathic communication between spouses.

#2 Connections

Probably a lot of people know this by now. When the last time you hugged, embraced or cuddled your partner after nagging or after being nagged? Typically, the nagged one tries his or her best, literally or figuratively, to be as far from the nagger. If you nagged your husband about something, while going to a restaurant, it’s highly likely that your partner already lost his excitement even before the waiter has taken your orders. If two people are trapped in a nagging circle for a certain period, he or she gets confused with your struggle with your identities and personalities. Persistent nagging will make you lose about who you really are and why you two love each other. Also, you both have to keep struggling with poor communicative habits. So, instead of changing your partner, think about changing your habit first.

#3 Trust and Respect

If you’re kind of person who nags your partner repeatedly, then you might feel neglected even after persistent requests to get noticed. If you’re nagged, you may assume that your spouse doesn’t trust you enough to be responsible and committed in some areas or most areas. If the nagging becomes fortified in the relationship, both of you may feel that neither of you has each other’s back. Trust and respect in your relationship diminishes, and the nagger and the nagged one get cornered in a communication pattern that’s fruitless. The only way the nagger and the nagged person will be getting out from this rut is if the nagger clearly states what he or she wants and why; and the nagged one clearly explains his or her intention, and when he or she will oblige to it. If both parties are willing to compromise just a little, then trust will start to nurture.

Overall, nagging won’t destroy your relationship like cheating does. But, if the nagging is persistent, then there is a risk that it can be deleterious to your marriage.


3 Most Annoying Things People Do While Dating

During the early stages of dating, most men and women are in a “dating limbo,” as they’re oblivious of what will become of their relationship. Most wonder how long they should be dating, before making their relationship exclusive, or should they end it before it gets serious, and so on. A lot of couples gets stressed and confused while playing this dating game during this period.

Here are three annoying things couples do in dating when they’re clueless about dating:

1. Sweet lies

Make no mistake, early in dating, men and women lie. Some lies are harmless lies such as, “I like cooking,” and some are dangerous lies like, and “I am single,” but actually they aren’t. One common lie most men and women make is when they tell they’re like each other and would like to meet them again, but genuinely they aren’t interested at all. Even though, if you believe you're nice by lying, but actually you’re giving them false hope. Remember that he or she may go home; tell their friends and family about you, and waiting to meet you again next time. That’s really unjustified.

2. Making Fuzzy Weekend Plans

You’ve likely heard this from people you dated previously. They told you that they'd plan to do something together the next weekend. It’s pretty standard when you meet someone new, and like each other, plan some activity you both can do together at the weekend. But, it never happens. You wait for a two or three days; the weekend comes, nothing happens. Eventually, you find out that your date has made other plans. You feel frustrated and left out because your date has kept you hanging and left without planning at the last minute. If you don’t hear from your date with the fixed time frame, then make other plans. Don’t focus too much what your date wants from the early phases of dating. It’s crucial that you be clear about your needs, so you can access if the new person you’re dating is committed to fulfilling your needs, which is a must in any relationship. If you find that your date is resisting, then it’s time you date someone else.

3. Ensure that the new person you’re dating isn’t dating someone else

In the early phases of dating, often daters try to figure out if the person they’re dating isn’t dating or trying to get intimate physically with someone else at the same time. Though, dating multiple people at the same time by abiding by some principles may actually be good for you, if you don’t want waste time and seriously looking for someone to be in an exclusive and monogamous relationship. But that’s a different story. In this scenario, daters scour the other person’s social media accounts like a criminal operation. Men and women spend a lot of time examining and dissecting photos of their dates, and pictures they took with exes (if any). They also search for information about their previous relationship as well as their personal life on the internet.

The takeaway

The early stages of dating are always confusing and stressful, as we feel insecure and wondering if the person we are dating will be right or not, making the relationship monogamous and exclusive. The best thing you can do is to relax and talk to the other person until you discuss all the issues and make sure whether the person you're dating isn’t playing any dating games with you.


Can a Marriage Be Saved After An Infidelity?

How does someone feel if their partner cheated on them? They feel betrayed, mistrusted, lost, empty and very hurt. It’s common for marriages to end because of cheating, but that’s not the topic of discussion here. We are looking if both partners are willing; an extramarital affair is something that can be worked through. And if given a chance, the marriage won’t only be saved; it can thrive.

Here’s how to work on your marriage in case your partner cheated on you:

1. Believe that forgiveness is possible

It’s not all dark in the tunnel; there’s light at the end. There are examples of many couples who have successfully revived their marriages after a cheating scandal. Once you begin to understand why the infidelity happened, know each other’s feelings, it’s possible to forgive. Not only can a spouse forgive the other, but they can also redeem themselves. Being able to forgive is a virtue, which can help us move on.

2. Take Accountability For Your Part

An infidelity can be viewed as an opportunity for both partners to examine what lacked in their marriage that compelled a partner to cheat. Are both respectful to each other? Did they appreciate and emotionally and physically available to each other? A successful relationship depends on how each partner is committed and responsible for their roles in the relationship.

3. Be Kind, Open and Communicate

Kind, open and respectful communication is the key to a long-lasting relationship and crucial to restoring and maintaining intimacy. Most infidelities happen because both partners have stopped having emotional and meaningful communication with each other. In the case of an affair, share your feelings and listen carefully to your partner’s experiences. Bring back the spark in your relationship, by recalling the moments and feelings that brought both of your together as a couple. Begin by talking about the things you liked about each other and what you love and respect about him or her now.

4. Be sincere to reach out for your marriage

Cheating on one’s partner is perhaps one of the worst things to happen in person’s life. Naturally, the partner who was cheated on is resentful, angry and disappointed to their respective partners. It’s really challenging to step back, but it helps if you take the high road and think what can you do for him or her, or respond to any of their wishes. Being sincere and reaching out to save your marriage will alleviate any negative feelings you had about your partner.

5. Go on Dates

Whether, you have a one-hour leisurely stroll on the beach, or reserve a dinner at a nice restaurant, or enjoy a concert together out of town, make sure you plan to go on dates at least once a week. It will be helpful to connect with your partner and reignite the romance in your relationship. The point is to get you out of the house, instead of sulking about why did this happen to you.

The takeaway here is if you follow the above techniques to save your relationship, it will restore trust and return love in your marriage.


How to Deal When Your Partner Wants ‘Space.’

Hearing your boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, or partner need some ‘space’ can invoke insecurity, fear or sadness within yourself. It's a word a person don’t want to hear from their partners. It points that your relationship is in trouble and the end is near, though it might not be that way all the time. So, what should you do? Here are few pieces of advice on how to be careful with your response and yourself, if the time comes, walk away with respect and dignity.

Take your partner’s decision seriously

Your partner is trying to tell you something, so listen to it carefully. They are asking for something them and remember it’s about them, not you. So, don’t feel that they attacked you personally. Don’t make it something about yourself. It will make you appear respectful and confident.

Get clear about it

When your partner tells you that they need some ‘space,' ask them why they need it. How long do want to be separate? Do they what to break up or have a casual relationship? Will they communicate (call, text, and email) with you? How will this affect your living arrangement? Do they want anything from you while they live alone? Doing all this will give you the answers and solace that will make you feel secure.

Be clear about it

Ensure that you are clear about the whole “need some space” thing. Tell your partner is this end of your conversation, how you fell and what do you really want. Be honest with your partner when you say something before they begin to live apart from you.

Be focused and be in control

Remain true to your core beliefs and best self. Keep your integrity intact by being kind, reliable, respectful, and honest. Never let your sadness and worries take control of you, and bear in mind that no difficult situation lasts forever. If you feel overwhelmed or overburdened with your emotions, take a few breaths and stay focused.

Honor their boundaries

When your partner says they don’t want to call or text you, then don’t call or text. If they need three weeks, give them three weeks. Don’t meet them at their homes or work. Don’t think of stalking them on Facebook or other social media sites. If you get lonely and want some support to cope, then ask your closest friends and family, instead of reaching to your partner, while they’re spending some time apart. We know this will be hard, but it’s for your best.

Take care of yourself

You now have plenty of free time and energy. Put it all to good use and spend it on yourself, your friends, and your family. Work hard and play harder. Whenever you feel lonely, take a bath, hang out with a friend, go rock-climbing, watch a movie, eat something nice and so on. You can also visit a therapist and a life coach, and get clear about life goals and what you really want in life.

Taking space can be healthy for a relationship if done with the best intentions in mind. It’s critical you be honest, truthful, compassionate and act with the highest of you integrity to get through this defining moment in your relationship.