There’s an explanation why most men and women reject the idea to be friends or maintain a connection with their exes after the relationship ends. It’s because trying to maintain the connection barely works and can harm you. Here are four reasons why maintain a connection with your ex is not good for you:
Talking with your former partner creates a false hope that you both will be reconciled and be couples again. You know that your ex isn’t right for you, which is the first reason you broke up with him or her. Communicating with your ex can create major issues. After a breakup; anger, sadness, and confusion creep into your life. After the previous relationship has ended, you might feel insecure. This will make you vulnerable to get you into an emotional and sexual connection with your ex to make you feel better and find some mental happiness. The problem here is that the more you keep maintain connections with your exes, you’ll find it even harder to get over your ex. It will also diminish all the progress you made during the healing process.
You might compare your new partner with your ex. Regardless how mentally restrained you are, time will come when you’ll begin to compare your new love interest with your ex. And it will come much sooner if you keep regular contact with your former lover. Give your new relationship a chance to thrive and develop. You and your ex tried your best to be in your past relationship, and it didn’t work out. So, stop it now and move on.
You may start thinking romantically about the previous relationship with your ex. This is very common with newly single men and women. And the bad thing is that they always romanticize only the good times they had with exes, not the bad times. This is all too obvious, and your mind is playing these mental tricks on you. So, stop thinking about all the good times and instead focus on the bad stuff that ended your relationship. You can leave a negative message on your fridge door or diary, or just ask a friend to remind you of all the wrong sides of your previous relationship, whenever you start missing your ex or reminisce the good moments you had together.
You new partner will most likely feel uncomfortable and awkward while talking to your ex. Let’s be honest; dating is stressful. There are so many unknown things when you meet someone new, whether it’s online dating, a blind date, someone your friend recommended, etc. We don’t know their real qualities, character and their level of honesty and integrity. So, don’t make things even more complicated than they already are, by asking your new partner to have a conversation with your ex. This may compel your new love interest that you still have feelings for him or her, and chances are there that your new partner might not want to date you anymore.
The bottom line is, after a breakup, it’s best for you and your partner to avoid having any communication with your ex. It will help you with your healing process, get over your ex, move on and position yourself to establish a new and loving relationship with someone better for you. To help you finding a deserving partner, we have created this awesome blog post on getting a new girlfriend. Check this out.