How to Approach Women? An Expert’s Advice

Young woman with a glass of wine talking to a man at the bar

Every girl is different. Every situation is different. However, the way you go about approaching a girl for the first time will typically be one of three specific ways. It’s important to know which approach to use based on the atmosphere (i.e. nightclub, bar, coffee shop), as well as finding out which technique is best suited for your personality. Let’s take a look at these approach methods I speak of.

When using a direct approach you make it clear to the girl that you’re talking to her because you found her attractive. Perhaps you walk straight up to her, stick out your hand and say, “Hello. I’m Alex. How is your night going so far?” or something witty like, “I’m not going to lie, I walked over here because you are way better looking than the guys I came with.”

There’s absolutely no beating around the bush with a direct approach. It’s the ‘grown-ass man’ way to talk to a girl because you will almost immediately find out if she sees you as potential. The only drawback is that she could quickly dead you if she doesn’t. When you’re approaching a girl during the daytime, maybe in a department store or coffee shop, the direct approach could be your only option because you might not have the time to hang around and wait for a different opportunity.

The indirect approach is when you casually initiate an interaction with a girl, coming across as if you wanted to strike a conversation just for sake of it with no further intentions. Of course that’s bullshit, we always have an ulterior motive–we’re thinking with our dicks half the time. The most common example of an indirect approach is asking a girl for her opinion on something: “Is that drink good, it looks pretty crazy?” or “Is this place always this crowded or did I just come on a good night?” Another example would be overhearing a conversation and then jumping in with your own opinion.

The advantage to the indirect approach is that there is no real chance for rejection as you’re just starting a casual conversation. It’s great for those guys that are terrified at cold-approaching and get all shook up and shit before walking up to a girl. The disadvantage is that is really doesn’t give you a chance to make an impression on the girl and you’re going to have to hope the conversation continues and you have more opportunities to do so later on.

Speaking of impressions, the last way of approaching is what I like to call the homerun swing. It’s basically the direct approach on steroids. It’s when you want to make an immediate impression on a chick in attempt to sweep her right off of her feet. For instance, when I see a girl strolling passed me with two drinks in her hand I’ll take a homerun swing and say, “Oh my God you got me a drink and you don’t even know me! When I first saw you I was like wow she’s pretty, but now I think you’re absolutely awesome!” The second she laughs I stick out my hand and introduce myself. And then I take my homerun trot around the bases because when you successfully pull off one of these expert openers, in all likelihood you can coast to a great night.

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