Moving to a new city is stressful, disorienting, and a bit lonely. To solve these problems, you’ll want to meet some cute local girls. Who better to keep you company while showing you the sites? Here is everything you need to know to meet girls in a new city.
You’ve Got to Meet Guys First
It may seem counterintuitive, but the best way to meet girls in a new city is to first meet guys. That is because it will seem weird and maybe a bit creepy to girls if you start combing the bars and clubs by yourself. You’ll have more success if you go out with a couple of buddies. Plus, a good buddy can act as a wingman. To make friends in your new city, invite work colleagues out or join a sports team.
Get Your Image In Order
In big cities, the standards for appearance are much higher than in No Name Town USA. You are expected to look sophisticated and in-charge at all times. Now, this doesn’t mean you should grab some fashion magazines and copy the latest trends. The most important thing about image is that it captures your unique brand of you.
Image is so important that it can even compensate for ugly appearance. As NY Mag says, “Are perfect proportions really what make you turn your head when you see a beautiful person on the street? Sometimes, yes. Just as often, though, we respond to variety, to looks we haven’t seen before.”
So, don’t be afraid to let your unique personality show through and take some risks. Just remember that poor grooming is never part of image! Even if your image is grunge or skater dude, there is no excuse for not showering, trimming facial hair, and cutting your nails before a date.
What Type of Girl is Looking for You?
Take a look at personal ads from your new city. No, I’m not telling you to find a date through the ads. Rather, use the ads to get an idea of what girls are looking for in a man. You will notice that not many personal ads (especially the ones written by women) mention anything about appearance. Instead, they ask for personality traits like “charming” “intellectual” “bad boy” “motivated” or “serious.”
When you were getting your image in order, you probably figured out what type category you fall in to. Now, ask yourself what type of girl is looking for your type. Sometimes the types match up – like two sophisticated professionals attracting each other. But sometimes the sophisticated businesswoman is looking for a bad boy, a starving artist, or a tough rocker type.
Now ask yourself where this type of girl would go out to meet people? College girls can be found off campus at libraries, dive bars, and parties. Yuppies will be out with their girlfriends having cocktails or sushi. Successful professionals won’t have time for bars, but you will find them at the gym at 5am.
If You Want a Girlfriend…
In most cities, the male to female ratio is skewed heavily in your favor. There are many more girls, so it becomes rather easy to meet a girl for a one night stand or casual fling. But, if your goal is to find a girlfriend in your new city, then you will need to look for girls in places other than pickup spots.
In my post about where to meet women, I talked about why bars and clubs are actually the worst places to meet girls. Bars and clubs are like hunting grounds for girls. The girls know this and will have their guard up. Even if the girls want to be hunted, they aren’t going to make it easy for you. Plus, you have all that competition from other men to deal with.
So, if your goal is to meet a girlfriend in a new city, or you are too shy to deal with the competitive atmosphere in bars and clubs, then you need to avoid these places! Instead, meet girls by doing activities such as volunteering, going to book readings, joining a club, or taking a class. Even if you don’t meet girls at these activities, the activities are still a great way to make new friends in your new city. Plus, they enrich your life so, when you do meet a girl, you will be able to talk about these activities and you will seem incredibly attractive and interesting.
Where to Pick Up Girls in a New City
Now let’s get on with the places to pick up girls in your new city, whether for a one-night stand or for a casual fling which may or may not lead to something more serious.
*Remember, you want to meet girls – so you need to go to places that girls like. So forget your local sports bar or the dive you like because they give free peanuts with the beer. Think about what type of girl you want, and then imagine where she is going to go out tonight.
Sophisticated city girls don’t drink beer (unless it is some expensive import from a small European city). They congregate with their girlfriends over cocktails with pretty colors and names like “Botany Bay” or “Smoking Maria.”
The Approach: It is actually pretty easy to meet girls in cocktail bars in a city, because most of them are there to scout for men anyway. Just go up to a girl and say that whatever she is drinking looks pretty good. Remember that girls go to cocktail bars in groups. To win her over, you just need to win over her friends.
Arts and Culture
Think back to the last time you went to a museum. It was probably flooded with women, and maybe just a handful of men being dragged around by their girlfriends. Across the board, women attend arts and cultural venues much more frequently than men. With some events, like ballet and art fairs, the female participation rate is nearly double that of men. In your new city, there is probably all sorts of cultural venues and happenings where you can go meet women. Some of these include museums, art openings, jazz clubs, opera, classical music, theatre, craft fairs, and historical sites.
The Approach: Do some research before going to the event, like looking up the painter who is exhibiting. Form an opinion of the work (Don’t try to sound intelligent or quote art critics. You’ll just come off as showy or a fake). Then approach a woman and ask her what she thought of the work. You probably won’t get her to come home with you tonight, so don’t drag the conversation on too long. Ask for her phone number, mentioning that you “know a cool little place that has live jazz on Fridays and maybe she wants to come?”
Yes, department stores really are one of the best places to meet girls! And it is surprisingly easy to meet girls while they are shopping.
The Approach: All you need to do is grab two shirts, hold them up against yourself, and ask a pretty girl which one she likes better. Or, you can pretend you are shopping for your sister’s birthday and ask a girl if she wouldn’t mind giving you some advice on what to buy.
Picking up women at clubs can be incredibly difficult, especially if you lack confidence or your bantering skills aren’t at top level. But, if your goal is for a wild fling, a club is a good place to meet a girl. Just be warned that most girls at clubs aren’t there to hook up. They are there to dance with their girlfriends and enjoy the ego boost that comes with being gawked at by a zillion guys.
The Approach: Put all the pickup tricks aside! Gimmicks don’t work with a lot of city girls!! Instead, just be ultra confident, honest, and ignore every other girl in the club once you’ve got her attention. Clubs can still be tough places to meet girls though, so I recommend reading our free dating guide which is full of useful tips and tricks for getting girls wanting you.