It can be frustrating for women looking for matches on online dating sites where they have to keep engaging in lengthy emails exchanges with their matches. Most women complain their matches never seem to ask them out and after they’ve answered several thoughtful questions. The questions range from about their past relationships, their hobbies, favorite activities, personal goals, etc. Instead of asking them out for a drink sometime, they get even more queries like, why do they like yoga?
These emails are, no doubt, time-consuming, and it’s highly likely you’ll get annoyed when your match asks if how you will spend your weekend. It’s irritating, and you can lose enthusiasm, because, it’s clear that he’s not willing to spend the weekend with you. Suspicions can also rise as you might start wondering what’s taking him forever to have a real conversation with you in person instead of sending emails. You can’t help, but wonder is he just playing you around while he’s dating someone else. Or maybe he’s shy or afraid of getting rejected that why he’s using email as a stalling mechanism.
When you’re looking for partners online, it’s important to have a few email correspondences (3 email exchanges is okay) as it helps you to get to know the person a little better. If you want to know the person fully, then you should have a real conversation in the real world.
So, is it a good idea to ask him out? Well, if you do, then you might be disrupting the traditional gender roles as its men who always take the lead when it comes to asking out for a date. The fact is women just feel better when men are excited about meeting them. Anyways, there is a third approach, instead of asking him out straight away, when you feel resigned after he sends you his 11th email enquiring about your relationship with your parents or siblings.
Here are a few suggestions to master the art of forcing him to ask you out:
If your match emails you telling why he switched careers or relocated, then you can send a subtle response by telling him that, you are interested to hear more about but only over a cup of coffee.
Become a player
If your online match asks you something that requires a long conversation, like what are first things you like to do on your bucket list? You can reply by saying it’s a big issue, but you’ll need to have a drink with you before to answer it.
If your match is inactive in taking action after a few email exchanges, be respectful about it, instead of lashing out or become angry with him. Instead, you can write that you’ll feel more comfortable if we have the conversation offline.
The takeaway here is to remain positive. You won’t like to put yourself match in a defensive position, like asking if he's interested in you in meeting you in person. You don’t also have to hurt his feeling his feeling by criticizing his endless email marathon by writing that you’re fed up of replying to his emails.
There’s always a possibility that your match isn’t getting the hint or can’t free up his schedule for a date. Or he’s seeing someone else. Whatever, the case, you’ve nothing to lose, except your time to answer another email.