There are no relationships without issues. There are fights, arguments, and misunderstandings among the partners and some relationships are so problematic that there isn’t anything to do other than ending it. That’s not all. Couples tend to blame each other for the demise of their relationship, while some men and women held themselves fully accountable for it.
Sometimes, things get out of control so much that these people, particularly women, are stigmatized or frowned upon, which makes it tough for them to find someone new, and start anew. These women begin to believe that there is something wrong with them, and that’s why no man would like to date them or don’t want to be in a committed and long-term relationship with them.
So, what can you do about this sad incident?
First, forgive yourself. You apparently loved your ex in your previous relationships, and you had to get out the relationship because you and your boyfriend weren’t compatible with each other, or the relationship ran out love. Therefore, forgive yourself. It wasn’t your fault.
Now, let’s talk what other people think of you. The truth is you can’t control what other folks think about you. You can only control yourself. It’s slow, but it works. Most people talk about improving their self-esteem after a breakup or when they can’t find someone. But, we never found that very helpful.
How are you supposed to improve your self-esteem when you feel depressed and worn out? So instead, of working on your self-esteem, we believe working on your self-respect will be more fruitful. It’s a lot simpler to gain self-respect. Only behave in a way that you find respectful. Think about the people you respect. Notice how they act. What behaviors do you see in them that make you think highly of them? Do their kindness and courtesy attract you? Is it that they don’t like someone who gets dragged down? Do you like how they support someone who needs it? Do you like someone who is confident and humble at the same time?
Now, ask yourself, are you that person? If not can you be that person? Even if you be that person, it won’t immediately change the way others see you. But, it surely will reduce the influence they’ve over you. When you’ve self-respect, you’ll realize that something funny will happen, when people around you try to make you feel about yourself. That is it won’t like it used to. Having self-respect also helps you to develop good taste in people. You can evaluate which kinds of people treat others, good or bad. Also, those people will see it in you. It’s like a magical power, and we all know these magical powers don’t come overnight.
Self-respect also instills self-compassion in you. If you say something wrong or bad-mouthing someone, or even self-deprecating yourself – don’t make this all about yourself. Don’t beat yourself for it. Don’t tell yourself that you behaved badly. Don’t think your honesty and compassion is running low. Changes come slowly. So, the next time, you’re looking for someone, and they didn’t find you attractive, remind yourself that everything is fine, and you’ll do better next time.