A lot has been written about why people stay in bad and unhealthy relationships, including violent and abusive ones. So what are the reasons for couples remaining in unhealthy relationships? Why do some people put up with significant flaws like the lack of affection, love, compassion or attention?
Here are two possible reasons:
We Don't See It
We usually nitpick things that are often more evident and observable. We quickly notice if someone has a physical feature, political view, or a quirk (verbal or physical), that we don’t like. But we tend to focus less, and in some cases, entirely ignore the characteristics that are likely to lead to serious issues. By the time these traits do surface, we may have already been captivated with the superficial aspects of the person. When we do discover the harmful behavior, it is easy to say to ourselves that these negative personality behaviors will change over time. It doesn’t matter if we think we can change them ourselves or if our partners will change them.
We Accept It
Many of us accept the love we find and think we deserve it. This happens frequently for folks who are suffering low confidence or low self-esteem. These men and women are more likely than other people to accept a boyfriend or a girlfriend with obvious flaws and remain with them despite these flaws manifesting themselves into behaviors that might count as abuse. Why? Because they believe that they don’t deserve any better or worse. This leads to accepting abusive behavior and remaining in an unhealthy relationship for long periods, if not forever.
Overall, kindness, affection, and respect in a relationship are much more important than a sexy laugh, cute nose, or having a sense of high street fashion. Always remember, what is truly important to you and what you want and deserve in a relationship. And always keep in mind, to never settle for less.