So, you’ve been struck with a betrayal. You feel your whole life is spinning out of control. Your emotions and thoughts are running thin. You feel sad, angry, desperate and resentful of your partner. You keep asking yourself, “what did I do to deserve this?” Your mind tells you that you can’t come out of this betrayal hole, and your life has stopped moving.
What can you do to get out from this mess? Here are three steps to help you move forward after being betrayed by your partner:
1. Practice Forgiveness
You feel guilty, hurt and resentful that your partner has betrayed you. If you want to get over this and move on from this painful chapter of your life, it’s time to forgive yourself. Forgiving yourself will make you get rid of all the anger, pain, and confusion. Your heart, soul, and body will become toxic unless you forgive yourself as well as considering forgiving your former partner. Don’t make yourself the victim and stop with the self-loathing. Practice forgiveness, as it is the ultimate pathway to healing. Also, remember not to punish your future partners for your ex’s transgressions. Be strong, kind, and confident to give them the trust they deserve.
2. Blame vs. Self-Worth
Instead of blaming yourself for your partner betraying you, appreciate your self-worth. Tell yourself that you’re enough as who you are. Acknowledge the fact that your boyfriend or girlfriend betraying or cheating on you has nothing to do with you. On the flip side, if you’re still angry and blaming your partner for betrayal, you need to deeply consider if you can let go of this unfortunate incident, rebuild your relationship, or if it is in your best interest to leave the relationship and move on. If you have a hard time choosing the right course of action here, you first need to understand why people betray or cheat on their partners. Usually men and women who have low confidence and self-esteem cheat on or betray their mates. They also possess a high need for acceptance and approval. Therefore, if your spouse fits any of the descriptions above, you have to determine whether you want to heal this relationship or totally end it for you to recover.
3. Rebuild Trust
We understand that your partner’s betrayal made a dent in your trust. You find it hard to trust your partner, and other people, which is crucial if you want to move forward. Keep in mind that projecting your fears won’t do anything for the healing process. If you have decided to stay with your partner, the first thing you need to work on is rebuilding your trust. If you fail to forgive, then there is no point in wasting your time and energy by staying in the relationship and also making your partner pay for their past transgressions.
When you’re in a relationship, keep in mind that every relationship has its rough patches. After a betrayal, it’s very easy to get lost in the maze of anger, doubts, and uncertainty about the future. These three steps above will help you move on and ultimately build a more stable and happy relationship in the future.