Have you ever been in a relationship, where you have to end the relationship after discovering that your girlfriend was drowning in debt? You found that she has a lot of outstanding bills and she couldn’t actually afford to pay any of it. Well, if you have experienced this, then you are not alone. These days’ couples aren’t talking about money before starting a serious relationship, and the results aren’t pretty at all. Research shows that one of the main reasons for divorces is money problems. So, what kind of initiatives can you take to tackle your money issues, so you don’t have to see any ugly surprises, arguments, breakups or even divorce?
Here are three things you should be doing before your relationship becomes toxic:
- Talk About Money – Now!
Don’t think to talk about money as “too personal” or “boring.” There is nothing exciting about finding out that your partner is a compulsive gambler or has way too much debt on her credit card. In fact, it’s a huge red flag in the relationship. So, talk to your girlfriend or partner about money. Ask them how do they value money, how they spend their money, how much do they spend on necessities, fun stuff, gifts, dining out and so on. Also don’t hesitate to ask your spouse whether they student loans, credit cards debt? Ask her whether she’s saving for retirement, or she’s spending more than she’s earning. Remember, financial problems and the poor financial decision can wreak havoc on your relationship.
- It’s nothing serious if you handle money differently
When you see that your spouse become disinterested or annoyed, when you talk to her about money, you are not alone. Most couples have admitted that they all have been in past relationships, where their partner’s handled money differently. For example, you might see yourself paired with someone who has problems managing her finances or overspends on unnecessary items, whereas you are a saver and have a saving plan for every month. These kinds of differences may be fun during the initial days of the relationship, but will later become a source of conflicts and arguments, and in some cases, the reason to end the relationship or a divorce. However, those differences don’t always need to be a deal-breaker. Just because their spending or saving habits are different than yours doesn’t mean they are wrong. We are all born with a personal approach to money. His or her approach to money is set in stone, and their mindset won’t change that much just because you nag them or want them to see it differently. The best thing you can do here is to make differences work for your relationship by honoring the differences in each other and understanding their approach to money.
- A man doesn’t always need to handle the money, just because he is a man
Just because you are a guy, it doesn’t mean that you should be “the one” who should be handling all the financial affairs in the relationship. In fact, it’s not the greatest of ideas to put yourself in charge of everything that’s related to money. Both partners need to determine who is best suited to handle their finances and how each person feels about their money.