One of the issues that can create a lot of tension in a relationship is flirting, even in healthy relationships where the trust and bond between two people are very strong. When one partner behaves with the opposite sex in such a way that the other partner feels insecure and inadequate, then it’s time you acknowledge that your uncontrollable flirting is creating some real issues in your relationships. You should start working on these matters. Otherwise, things can become even before you realize it.
Here are few suggestions that will help you navigate through the problems together.
1. Define the Issue
If you’re feeling uneasy with your significant other’s flirting with the opposite sex, the first thing you need to do is to figure out how this is affecting you. In other words, what exactly gets onto you when your boyfriend/girlfriend is flirting with the opposite sex? Do you feel insecure? Is it that you doubt your relationship with your partner because he or she has lost interest in you or is dissatisfied with being in a relationship with you? If that’s the case, try to have a conversation with your partner. It seems like your significant other is paying less attention to you, and less prioritizing your feelings and emotions as well as your relationship.
2. Get Some Perspective
Once you’ve identified the problem, and pinpointed the source of your discomfort, it’s time to take some concrete steps to figure out what behaviors precisely are bothering you. After all, there’s a good chance that your boyfriend/girlfriend showed many of these traits before you both got involved in a romantic relationship. These behaviors and qualities might even help you and your partner to come close together in the first place. In circumstances like these, it doesn’t give you the permission to confront your partner and tell him or her to tone down some of their “flirtatious behaviors’, now that you both are in a relationship now.
3. Decide precisely what you want to discuss
If you do determine that it’s imperative to address the issue with your boyfriend/girlfriend, then remain precisely focused on the issues you will be talking. Don’t bring up other problems in the relationship. Try to be precise and specific. Ensure that your partner knows about the problems that you’re currently dealing. For example, if you feel that you don’t feel cared, cherished and respected when you are both together, or not spending enough time with each other, then discuss it.
4. Decide the time and how you want to talk about it
It’s also imperative that you find the best time to have this particular conversation. For instance, you might not want to bring the discussion immediately when you brought out the topic like when you both were at a party. If you’re feeling sad and angry, it’s highly likely that you’ll have the talk with your boyfriend or girlfriend with an attacking and accusatory tone. It will put your partner in a defensive mode and will make your emotions and feelings less heard and necessary. Instead, calm down and talk about the subject at a time when the chances of achieving the results are higher and more expected. Also, the way you speak of this topic is crucial too. As we said, results would be negative if you keep attacking and accusing him or her. Never initiate a conversation in a way that creates conflict. This way you can focus more on expressing your feelings. It will also make you feel less controlling.
If you’re looking for a relationship, it’s totally fine to flirt. Flirting is the first step towards dating someone. But, when you’re in a relationship, then flirting with the opposite sex is disrespectful and hurtful to your boyfriend or girlfriend.