Couples don’t always want to talk about sober issues during the early days of a romantic relationship. The reason why most couples stay away from having discussions about serious problems at the beginning of the relationships is that they can expose highlight differences, bring up disagreements, and sometimes the conversations can be painful. However, having the courage and the ability to talk about difficult things is an indication that we are with a good partner.
Before the wedding, there are many things to know and talk about such as how important sex is for you, do you like kids, how many kids you want, are you financially stable, etc. These topics are pretty obvious, but there are some esoteric topics that every couple should definitely discuss with their fiancé before tying the knot.
Here are four things you should discuss with your partner before getting married:
- How did your family handle the conflict?
The ways each partner’s families deal with conflicts have a significant impact on how we resolve various problems in the relationship. We imitate the same behaviors of our parents while dealing with conflicts. So, if your spouse grew up with drama, abuse, and reactivity, it’s safe to say that your partner won’t be committed to being a conscious communicator. Besides, they are less likely to get help with you if needed.
- Are you willing to give up the need to be right all the time?
Ask yourself are you someone who often fights to get your point across? Bear in mind that you need to have some honest self-reflection if you want to answer this question. Only a mature partner can let go, contain, and be willing to admit they are wrong. You can be right, or you can remain in the relationship. You can choose only one, but not both. So, choose carefully.
- Do you like each other's, parents?
It doesn’t matter if you are in a relationship or getting married; talking about this issue often becomes painful. So, both partners need to discuss these relationships in a manner that will honor each partner. Having a conversation with each other’s partner with love and empathy will prevent a lot of heartaches. Most differences are cultural in this case. For example, traditionally Jewish families like togetherness. They like to be involved and helpful, especially when it comes to marriages. If someone has been brought up in a Jewish family, you will find this normal, loving, and helpful. But, for his girlfriend, who has grown up in a different way these kinds of experiences can be smothering. Therefore, it’s important for the man to understand that she might need some space and he should support her all the way. But, her fiancé is no way should criticize her family, but to see that’s how she was brought up.
- How similar are your interests?
You can’t have a happy and healthy marriage if you and your partner don’t have any shared interests with each other. Before getting married, try to find out if you and your spouse can both solve conflicts peacefully or good at saving money. Compare your listicle with your partner's and make a single list from it and then continue working on it that will make your marriage a happy one!