If you’ve ended your relationship with your partner recently, and trying your best to get over your ex and move on, but finding it difficult to do it, then you aren’t alone. Every time you get to meet someone new, you start comparing him or her with your ex, making it harder for you to establish a connection with your new love interest. By always thinking and comparing your new dates with your ex, you are sabotaging your chances of finding love again. Your past girlfriend or boyfriend might be great and wonderful, but he or she is no longer with you. The truth is that you can do much better than your ex. You can fall in love with someone who respects you, is committed to you, and will be loving and compassionate towards you.
These four tips that will help you quit the habit of comparing your new love interests with your former lovers:
1. Change your romanticized view of your past. You need to get clear about your past relationship and all the faults of your former boyfriend or girlfriend. Do this without being angry or resenting your ex. The key thing here for you is to focus on moving forward by acknowledging the fact that your relationship wasn’t healthy. There was a significant gap in your relationship, but you aren’t entirely sure what it is. Even if your ex was a smart, fun, attractive, or whatever person, you both didn’t have any real chemistry and emotional connection that is required to be in a committed and exclusive long-term relationship.
2. Don’t rush into making irrational decisions. Most people think that they can evaluate their romantic partners by just talking with them for a few minutes. While it is relatively easy to know whether you’re instantly attracted to someone, finding out if both of you share common interests and goals is vital to be compatible with one another. Enjoying a lasting relationship is tough if two people in a relationship aren’t compatible or don’t enjoy to spend time together. So, don’t make a mistake by believing that you can assess a date after just spending just a small amount of time together. Sometimes, your instincts will tell you that, ‘this man or the woman is the perfect one for you.' If that happens, fight your well-rooted intuition, and dismiss them.
3. Look for the hidden behaviors. Most of the hidden traits found in a person are hidden. When you feel nervous when meeting him or her for the first time, the nervousness that you feel is just one of the many feelings that can be seen. If you have a pattern of pushing women away because you think that they won’t be good enough for you, do yourself a favor. Find out one or two good traits of your date, and spend some time with her. Make it your goal. Don’t just reject a woman simply for the reason that you can’t immediately appreciate what makes her unique and extraordinary.
4. Remember the most critical dimension in a relationship. As you all probably know, flexibility is one of the most crucial elements of any relationship. You can be happy and can make your relationship healthy and long-lasting if you’re flexible, and the woman you’re dating or in a relationship share the same qualities of flexibility like you. Flexible men and women make life work and easy for them. Flexible couples often find the best of each other, and they will find the best way to deal with any issues facing their relationships. Cultivating a spirit of flexibility within yourself, while looking for a date or a relationship will make the whole experience fast-paced and exciting from slow and frustrating.