We have all gone on bad dates. Some of these bad dates are so bad that they can be classified as dating horror stories. Okay, maybe we are overreacting. Most bad dates fall into one of two categories. One, the person doesn’t sound or look anything like what you expected. Two, they did or said something outside of acceptable dating behavior, such as they making crude jokes, wearing inappropriate clothes or just being rude.
Unfortunately, going on an occasional bad date is part of the online dating process. However, if you consistently find yourself on disappointing dates, then something is wrong. Yes, you can’t control the people you get attracted to you, but you can take steps to be in bad dates less often. Here’s how:
1. Know your dates beforehand
Go through tons of emails or several rounds of phone calls while dating online. Doing some preliminary communication will reveal important information about your match. We aren’t talking about the basics here. You can learn those by reading someone’s profile. Instead, you should know about the more subjective information. Things like: does she have a sense of humor? Does she return calls, texts or emails promptly? If the communication feels slow or off-beat, then it’s safe to assume that you both won’t have a great connection when you meet.
2. Ask for more photos
Be subtle while doing this. It’s not appropriate for you to write to your match that you don’t like the existing photos in her profile and she should send you the current ones. Instead, entice your match to share more pictures by sending some of your own. Also, don’t forget to include a message while sending the photos. You can write to her that you are hanging out at your friend’s barbeque and having fun. Then attach a photo of you showing off your grilling skills, eating a giant burger, or a photo of yourself with your friends. By sharing your life in pictures and words, you will inspire your match to do the same.
3. Pick the right spot and control the conversation
The place you go for the first date can influence whether you feel relaxed and comfortable. Meet your match at a place that’s convenient, not crowded, and quiet enough so that you can hear each other. You can’t control what your match says, but you can ask relevant questions. Tell engaging stories. Try to enjoy yourself even if your date is a dud. Learn something about her during your time together.
4. Give your match the benefit of the doubt
When it comes to first dates, it’s common that she will be late because she was stuck in traffic or her dress got ruined in the rain. Or you have forgotten to reconfirm your reservation at the restaurant and now have to hustle to find a new place. Or you will find her looking a little different compared to how she looked in her profile photo. Whatever the situation, try to deal with it. You should bring the best of yourself to the table. Take control of what you can. Figure out the deal breakers later. No matter how bad the date is, enjoy the dinner, have a pleasant chat and move on.