It doesn’t matter whether you are in a relationship or not, recognizing your own faults is hard. It’s difficult to figure out if you are doing something wrong unless someone tells you. In a relationship, it’s much easier to blame your partner for all the problems and walk away from it without taking any responsibility for the issue. People who do this want to remain guilt-free and often say things like “I can't do this anymore,” “You are toxic,” “You make me feel lost,” etc. These words are in fact for people who have toxic behavior and are too incompetent to be in a committed relationship.
You see, relationships require a lot of work, and if you feel selfish, insecure, maladjusted or uncompromising, you aren’t a good partner. After all, who the heck wants to date or be in a relationship with someone who only thinks about themselves? Are you sure you aren’t one of them?
Here are some clear-cut signs that you are the one who is creating all the problems in your relationship:
1. You always say “no.”
Relationships aren’t only about taking. Giving is a huge part of it, too. If you always say “no” or your default answer is negative, regardless of the circumstances, you are the problem here. When your partner is talking to you or asks you something, you should listen and consider it, even if it annoys you or she's unreasonable. When you love someone, you need to be available to her and be open to her. If you're closed off, it’s just a matter of time before your relationship will become toxic.
2. You self-sabotage for no reason.
If you realize that your mind is full of toxic and chaotic thoughts, or you find yourself always fighting with your spouse, it’s time you self-analyze why are you feeling this way. Ask yourself what exactly your partner did. If you are self-sabotaging and creating issues in an otherwise happy, stable relationship, then it’s safe to say that you are the issue here.
3. You make your partner do all the work.
Relationships are a two-way street. One is “Give” and another is “Take”. This applies to everything in the relationship such as work, chores, day-to-day household responsibilities, grocery shopping, etc. If you are sitting idle doing nothing, and ask your partner to do things for you, bring stuff to you, and you don’t return the favor, you aren’t a good partner. You need to change your attitude and start doing things for your beloved, even if it’s small.
4. You don’t say you are sorry.
If you want everlasting love, learn to say that “you are sorry” when you have done something wrong. If you aren’t accountable for your actions; your relationship will fail. It’s also an indication that you aren’t mature enough to be in a committed relationship.
5. You don’t talk about your feelings.
Withholding your thoughts and feelings from your partner does not make you cool or aloof. It also doesn’t make your lover think you are non-confrontational. Instead, it makes you a deadbeat significant other. Sure, you don’t like to talk or open up to her, but it's not good for you and the relationship. Whether you are dating, in a relationship or married, you have no choice, but to express yourself and talk about your feelings to your significant other.