We all have been obsessive about something in our lives. One of the worst obsessions out there is yearning for someone who got away and who was never meant to be your partner. When it comes to dating and relationships, obsessive thoughts are rife in women. We have seen many single and successful women like doctors, lawyers, teachers, etc., talking about the men they are dating. They keep talking about how they are still waiting for his text message before going to bed, waiting for the call from their boyfriends, etc. They become anxious and get stressed out by over-thinking about what will happen if this guy asks them out for the weekend. These women could have gotten any man they wanted, and yet they are obsessing over a guy who is making them wait for hours just for a call. Why is that?
Women are attracted to men who might like them, instead of men who already are interested. However, women feel like if a man is keeping them on pins and needles, then there is some interest in the guy. This means the guy is providing them some attention to fuel their obsession.
If you discover yourself in this situation, here are a few tips to help you stop obsessing over guys like this:
1. Face Your Fears
We all have our fears and insecurities. We need to get them out so that we can confront them. Writing down or talking about these fears will help you get it out of your head.
2. Limit Your Obsessions
Fix a day and a specific amount of time (say 10 minutes) to permit yourself to be obsessive. When the obsessive thoughts come to your mind, and it comes at the day and time outside of your schedule, tell yourself it is not time. Only reserve those thoughts for the time you allowed previously.
3. Ask For Help From Friends
Friends are there to help and support you during the sad times. Friends can help you differentiate between facts and fiction. If you’re sure that your boyfriend is hanging out with someone else and there is no evidence, your close friend can tell you that you shouldn’t think like this unless you have substantial evidence.
4. Keep Yourself Distracted
When you start to obsess, immediately direct your feelings and thoughts to a different thought or action. For instance, when you begin obsessing over something, tell yourself you will do twenty push-ups or listen to your favorite podcasts. Immediately, you will either see yourself thinking of something else rather than obsessing over him.
5. Shut Off All Communication
If you’re anxious that he won't call and you make yourself unavailable, this will keep your ego intact. You can tell yourself either he called, or he didn't, but you were unavailable. This tactic will give all the control back to you. There are plenty of examples where people obsessing over their ex got terribly out of control. The obsession may fuel the affection, but it will distract you from being YOU. Don’t let your obsessive thoughts control your life.
Therefore, if you’re dating someone, and you find yourself in this situation, these steps might help you to alleviate your obsessions.