It’s very common to see someone scared of dating or trusting a man again because they got seriously hurt in their last relationship. No matter how positive they think, they find it very hard to date men and trust again. They feel like all men are just the same. Well, there’s nothing wrong with being afraid to fall in love again after your previous relationship ended badly. We all feel that way sometimes. It’s not the fear that’s the issue. After all, it’s just a feeling and it doesn’t hurt. The fear becomes a huge problem when you allow the fear to restrict your ability to move forward.
Most recently single women say that their previous relationships almost destroyed them. They believe they won’t find love again or trust a man again. Their think their lives will be over. …But, they’re still hanging on. We know that you’re extremely wounded and vulnerable, but you’re still alive. Most men and women treat the end of their relationships as some life threatening accident that will kill or maim them. Sure, after your relationship ends you’ll feel very depressed. It makes you feel appalling and sad indeed. Sometimes the emotional pain can get intense, and but we still manage to get through it.
Usually we don’t want to experience it again and that’s fine. But you have to know that without taking any risks, you can’t gain anything. When you fall in love with someone or enter into a relationship, you don’t know what will happen to you in the future. You can be happy, or you run the risk of getting hurt. You can’t get around it. So, what are you going to do about it? Well, we suggest you start small. Spare yourself a few minutes, and allow yourself to feel whatever is happening to you both physically and emotionally. Allow yourself to feel the compassion for your nervousness, and feel it without judging or self-deprecating yourself. Train yourself to be comfortable and relax in times of discomfort. Figure out ways to entertain yourself and allow yourself to enjoy the frustration and the boredom without the distraction that follows after a breakup or failing to meet the right man or woman to start a new relationship.
If you’re meeting someone new, someone you’re interested in, don’t shy away from feeling the fear or anxiety. Take a minute and feel what you are feeling at the moment, and remind yourself that even though the feeling isn’t exactly nice, it won’t kill you. You know this very well, as you’ve been through this before. This isn’t easy, but at the same time, it can be tremendously fruitful. On a side note, if you happen to be a parent, it’s best not to disappoint your children. Also, don’t introduce your new boyfriend or girlfriend to your kids until you’re entirely sure that he or she wants to be in a committed relationship with you. It’s up to you when you think it's the right time for your kids to meet your new love interest. Nonetheless, if your future life partner proves that he or she is worthy of your trust, congrats! And if they disappoint you, forgive yourself. Getting heartbroken is a part of life as well.
If you’re looking for a date after a breakup, it’s natural to feel afraid to get back in the dating scene again. But, it’s a part of life and the best approach in moving forward.