We, humans always long to be loved, understood, supported and accepted. While in relationships, we all have been emotionally needy to some extent — meaning we need more emotional support during that phase. It’s acceptable to reach out and ask for help sometimes, but when we become too needy and demanding, downright annoying and clingy, insecure — this can be counterproductive in maintaining a healthy relationship. A person when in a relationship should be able to express their feelings, take care of their own “stuff” and tolerate loneliness if he or she wants the relationship advance. This also conveys our personality and what kind of relationship we want to have.
However, there are people who insecure with an anxious attachment behavior that is usually labeled as overly needy. Some of the key signs are:
- They deny or minimize their need and ask or manipulate others to fill in their emptiness and emotional needs.
- They worry their partners don’t love them enough, so they become utterly emotional and insecure. So, they constant reach out to their partners and always remind them they need more around them. Sometimes this can be a nuisance.
- Emotionally needy people always feel insecure and oversensitive to any situation.
- They had parents (or a parent) who were illogically nurturing which lead to inner anger and anxiety in themselves, particularly around relationships.
Being overly needy often leaves their partner emotionally exhausted and overwhelmed, which can lead the relationship to break up. This is what anxious people fear about most and yet their behavior will push their partner away. Their partners can’t help them, or compliment them, or reassure them either as they have insatiable and wearing emotional ‘neediness.’
However, you can get over being emotionally needy. Here are few ways you can do it:
Be Aware of Neediness
To recognize a problem you have to be aware of the issue in the first place. Try to understand your emotional anxiety and how it is affecting your relationship now and in the future. Also start addressing how you can get rid of your clingy and needy behavior.
Give Your Partner Some Space
It’s not important how close you are to a person; it’s bad to spend most of your time with him or her. They become overwhelmed, worn out and begin to do things that will force them to break up with you. Try to spend time alone by yourself, and give some space to partner. It is the best approach for a long-term and fruitful relationship.
Learn How to Trust
If your fear abandonment and don’t trust people much, that an indication of neediness. If you have doubt a person’s feelings or fear abandonment, it will provoke the person to end the relationship. Learn to trust your instincts and your partners as well and don’t doubt it.
Be more independent
If you start doing things for yourself and stop depending on people for care and support, you will find fulfillment and get rid of your neediness. Try becoming more self-reliant and independent. The more independence you have in the relationship, the longer it will thrive.
So, strive to make these changes in your life, and you will find yourself in a better place and hopefully in a healthier relationship!