All posts by Dating Guru

Will Your Relationship Last If You Are Dating A More Intellectual Person?

When it comes to relationships, one of the traits that matters the most is whether a person is an intellectual or not. Apart from physical or sexual attraction, you need to think a lot about how similar both of you are in this area. If you both are incompatible in this department, it’s highly likely that the romance in your relationship will fizzle out over the course of months or  years.

So, how intelligent are you? Don’t think about what your IQ score is. Here we are talking about how much you like to think about and discuss pressing issues. Pause for a minute and think about how much you like to read books, magazines, and newspapers. Do you like reading books and periodicals regularly? Do you like to read light or prefer something that’s more in-depth?

Is It Important To Date Someone Who Cares About The Same Intellectual Subjects As You?
There is no right or wrong answer about what kind of topics any individual should care about. But, a man or woman who has a highly intellectual mind will generally talk and think about serious issues. Some men and women don’t like to have in-depth conversations, or they prefer to keep things light, but people who are more intellectual than others will always like to delve deep into any given subject. Suppose you’re on holiday with the person you’re dating, and the two of you are celebrating three years of your relationship. Imagine what kind of topics you would both be talking about? If you’re genuinely passionate about certain issues, you’ll probably discuss those things on vacation. Would your boyfriend or girlfriend be that person? Do you both care enough about the same problems?

Intellectual Levels Play A Vital Role In The Longevity Of The Relationship.
If you’ve started dating recently, the sexual attraction, lust and  newness of that person will keep things interesting and exciting for some time. But, as the relationship matures, it will cease to be interesting like before, and the only thing that will keep the bond tight is similar values and intellectual interests. If you’re an intellectually-minded man or woman, it’s not necessary to date someone who shares the same interests as you. But, if they have other intellectual interests, you’ll respect them for it, and it will fascinate you at the same time. Now, on the flip side, if you think of yourself as an intellectually-minded individual and you're in a relationship with someone who has no actual interest in discussing things in depth, the both of you will immediately run out of subjects to talk about. You’re going to feel emotionally disconnected from him or her because you’re intellectually disconnected.

The Bottom Line
When you begin dating someone, take some time to think and find out whether he or she prefers to talk about simple issues or serious issues. Most men and women, because of the sexual attraction and sheer excitement of being in a relationship, tend to ignore or overlook whether they’re intellectually compatible with each other. Intellectual compatibility is imperative if you want to have a fulfilling, long-lasting relationship.

Preventing Emotional Infidelity in Relationships

Emotional infidelity happens when you or your significant other is emotionally attracted or connected with someone outside the realm of your relationship. But just how precarious can emotional infidelity be in a committed relationship or marriage? The truth is, emotional infidelity can be really alarming. It can take away time and energy from the marriage. If left unaddressed, it can lead to sexual infidelity, and ultimately destroy the marriage or the relationship.

Emotional infidelity is an outcome of preexisting problems within a marriage. This happens when couples aren’t emotionally and physically intimate with their partners in their current relationship, and each person is vulnerable to some infidelity. It can be either physical or emotional. So, instead of blaming the affair for all the problems in your relationship, why not take care of the primary issue in the first place?

People find emotional infidelity irresistible as it’s very easy to be intimate with a person with whom we have no shared responsibilities like money issues, children or chores. We feel comfortable to share our deepest feelings, thoughts, and fears with someone we have no personal conflicts with or shared interests. In other words, it’s an easy way of not dealing with the real issues at hand. If continued, this emotional infidelity will jeopardize your marriage, and eventually will lead to a divorce. If you’re in an exclusive relationship, the relationship won’t result in a marriage. You will end up with the same problems that you had before being in a committed relationship or getting married. So, why waste your time? Why not resolve the problems now?

The primary issue that leads to emotional infidelity is an emotional disconnect between partners. Emotional distance or disconnect occurs because there are deeper issues within the relationship. These problems might be:

1. One or both partners want to control the relationship through anger, blame, and criticism.

2. One or both partners want to control the relationship by care taking. This is done by one person taking care of their wants and needs and taking responsibility for the other person’s feelings and thoughts.

3. One or both partners want to control the relationship by withdrawing and resisting being controlled by the other person.

4. One or both partners don’t want to take any emotional responsibility for his/her feelings of happiness, joy, and pain. Both partners have abandoned themselves emotionally. They’re self-bashing, making the other partner responsible for their feelings, and ignoring their own emotions through addictions.

All the above problems grind down the love in your relationship making you disconnected from your significant other and lonely in the relationship. This is the perfect situation for emotional infidelity to manifest and thrive. These patterns, under general circumstances, don’t usually show up early in a relationship or when you’re in an emotional or physical affair.

These patterns also don’t disappear when you embark on a new relationship. These patterns will again return, when your new relationship is on the path to becoming a committed and exclusive relationship. If you’re thinking of dating someone, take responsibility of your own feelings, and your ability to love and care for someone genuinely. It’s only you that can prevent your wonderful relationship from being hijacked by emotional infidelity.

5 Ways To See If A Guy Is Into You

Whether you’re checking out that hunky guy at the bar, or the man you’re having a first date with and thinking that he might be a keeper, you won’t go anywhere unless you know how to tell if a man likes you. Here are five ways that will help you figure it out:

1. Analyze His Body Language

A big clue about whether he's interested in you or not is his body language. Does he lean towards you while you talk? It doesn’t matter if it’s a subtle lead-in or a full-fledged bow. If he leans towards you, then he is interested in you. Also check if he keeps leaning in when you are chatting with him, sitting across the dinner table from him, and so on. If he leans back every time you lean in, then it’s not a good sign.

2. Access His Eye Contact

They say, “the eyes are the window to the soul.” If he is into you, he’ll gaze into your eyes. If someone at the bar makes consistent eye contact with you, then give him something back too. Make eye contact! Let him know you’re interested in knowing him too! It will give him the sign that he can come over and have a conversation. Direct eye contact is a good hint that he’s not only interested in you but also curious to know more about you.

3. He Wants To Be Closer To You

If you’re on a date and discover that he’s looking for every chance to touch you, whether it’s a subtle pat on your arm, knee or shoulder, he probably likes you. These so-called “accidental” touches are done on purpose to convey that the man is into you. If you’re walking through a crowded place or heading to your dinner table at the restaurant, he’ll guide you by putting his arm on your back. It means that he wants to take you to the place you want, but also ensure that it is the same place he is going to. In short, he’s taking care of you.

4. He Is Copying You

When a man copies your actions subconsciously, it can only mean one thing; he is interested in you. If you notice your date brushing his hair back like you at the same time or imitating your gestures at the dinner table, it means he’s building rapport with you.

5. He Wants To Relate To You.

When it comes to falling in love, men and women are drawn to each other when they share common interests. Therefore, if a man is interested in you, he will look for more ways to relate to you. While having a conversation with you, he will share things with you: his hobbies, his views, his life goals, his experiences, and in some cases even his personal secrets. He does all of these things to find common ground with you and see that you’re compatible with him. For example, he will ask you to pick the movie, your favorite dessert, or he will ask whether he can join you for your next yoga class, etc. All these point to him being interested in getting to know more about you!

5 Ways To Walk Away After Your Partner Has An Affair

If you've found that your partner has been cheating on you, it's time to move on and find a real relationship. Whether the love affair is one-sided or mutual, being in a relationship with a cheater hardly works out in your favor in the end. It brings nothing except sadness and pain. Once you’ve determined that remaining in the relationship with someone who cheated on you is only going to give your more pain and make your life more complicated, that relationship needs to end.

Here are five steps that will help you walk away from your relationship after your partner has had an affair:

1. Find A Distraction

Fall in love with someone, of course, a single and available one. Get out of there and explore other possibilities. It’s hard ending a relationship with someone you’re still in love with, but it can be easy if you get involved in another relationship because it will work as a distraction.

2. Start Asking For Money

While in the relationship, if you’ve never actually asked for gifts or money, now is the time to start asking. When you ask, ask for more. Though he might conform to your requests, he’ll consequently get annoyed with your constant requests. This will create a rift in the relationship, which is what you want to happen. In the meantime, save all money for a rainy day when the relationship finally ends.

3. Spend More Time Together

This is another tactic to deploy if there is a possibility. Consider spending more time with your boyfriend. The more time you spend together, the better. Most people tend to show their best sides if someone spends brief periods of time with them. Therefore, spend a few days with him, and you might get surprised at how little you actually like him. Allow yourself to experience all those small things that annoy you, and don’t hesitate to argue with him about it.

4. Show Your Bad Side

Stop being the nice girl and show your bad side. Your partner has only seen your good side, and he too has only shown you his good side. Now the moment has arrived to let it all hang out. Cry, shout, yell, nag, complain, and expect more from him. Take all of this as an act, and do it as though this is a healthy relationship. You’ll be surprised to see how quickly Mr. Perfect loses his cool and shows his real personality. You’ll start wondering how come you ever fell in love with him in the first place.

5. Love Yourself

Regardless of if you’re looking for a date or already in a relationship, fall in love with yourself. This is crucial when it comes to dating and relationships. Ask yourself why you’re still in love the person who had the affair and betrayed your trust. Remind yourself  that you’re worthy of a real and loving relationship.

5 Awesome Reasons You Should Get Married

Most of us in long-term relationships hope that the relationship will result in marriage. There are pros and cons of getting married, but in this article we will focus only on the good things. The decision to get married is huge and there are plenty of legitimately good reasons to become man and wife. Here are five of those great reasons to tie the knot:

1. Marriage Has Financial Benefits

Couples who get married will accumulate more wealth by combining both households and reducing living costs. Getting married opens the gate for you and your partner to get access to family health, dental and other insurance benefits more easily. You both get access to retirement plans and social security. Marriage also makes it easier to inherit from each other. You get tax benefits from the IRS, charitable deductions, the ability to fund IRAs, etc.

2. Getting Married Makes You Happier and Healthier 

Overall, married folks are healthier physically and mentally and have greater self-esteem and confidence than single people. So, if you’re one of those men and women who wants to feel happier, live longer, healthy, and remain physically and mentally active for a long time, get married soon.

3. Marriage Is Beneficial For Kids

One of the primary reasons for tying the knot is the social stigma people face when they have kids outside of marriage. Kids born outside the realm of marriage are more likely to fall into poverty, fail academically, and suffer various behavioral and emotional problems. The main reason for these kids born outside of marriage failing is that they aren’t receiving the care and support provided by both parents. Outside of marriage, both parents aren’t legally responsible for the kids, but getting married gives both parents the legal obligation to take care of them.

4. Want To Have Better Sex? Get Married

This one is pretty tricky and depends on your preferences. But it’s widely accepted that people who are happier, healthier, and financially better off, have better sex than people who are single or than couples who cohabitate. Another good reason to tie the knot!

5. Marriage Reduces Divorce, While Cohabitation Increases It

There has been a lot of debate that says couples can equally be happy cohabiting? The thing is that people who cohabitate and then decide to wed later are more likely to get divorced at some point compared to couples who marry without living together.

Judging by all the pros, we can easily tell that marriage is the hands-down winner. When you’re in a committed relationship, it’s natural for both of you to think of getting married. Apart from getting married to feel happier, have a better sex life, live longer, and save money on insurance premiums, marriage brings you and your partner closer to each other and is more emotionally intimate. Marriage is also the best environment to raise children in if that’s the point of you getting married.

If Your Boyfriend Does These 6 Things, He’s in Love With You

We are all familiar with the classic signs that someone likes you such as buying you flowers, giving you gifts, taking you for dinner, making eye contact while talking to you, and so on. All of these acts have become so obvious and ingrained into our minds and society, that they're impossible to miss. But relationships are always changing and figuring out a potential partner’s true feelings about you aren’t as simple as you think.

Here are a few signs that show your boyfriend is falling in love with you:

1. He Follows Through

During the initial stages of a relationship, most couples are focused on building trust and will do anything to follow through on all the promises they’ve made. Most people expect you to make lavish promises during the initial stages of the dating process, but in reality, the opposite might be true. If the man you’re seeing makes an extra effort, such as they call when they say they'll call, or follow through in some other ways, we can safely say that your relationship will mean something to them.

2. He Doesn’t Rush; He Takes It Slow

It’s common for most couples at the start of a new relationship to take things fast, but rushing things can sometimes jeopardize the relationship. Taking things slowly is the best approach to being successful in a romantic relationship. If someone decides to take it slow, it’s mainly because they fear that they’ll mess things up soon, and he or she fears it more than being intimate with you too soon.

3. He Establishes A Friendship First

One of the main signs that a guy really cares for you, when it comes to romantic relationships is if they try to develop a genuine friendship with you before they jump into anything romantic. The reason behind this good approach is to make sure they like you in a deep way that goes beyond an infatuation.

4. He Acts Awkward Towards You

If your potential partner acts cool, calm and brims with confidence in front of everyone else except you, it indicates he likes you more than you think. Most men and women in new relationships act awkward in front of their boyfriends and girlfriends, as they’re unsure how to act in the first place, despite the fact that they think they have it all together.

5. He Imitates Your Movements

When it comes to relationships, people mimic the traits and behaviors of their potential partners so that they can relate to them and get emotionally intimate with them. This has a lot to do with sympathy, but more to do with affection too. When someone mirrors your movements, even in a subtle way, it means that he’s attracted to you and likes you more than you think.

6. He Doesn't Mind Spending Time With You, No Matter How Inconvenient It Is

When you’re dating someone and he is interested in you, he’ll spend time with you no matter how inconvenient it is to him. He’ll drive extra long hours to be with you even for a few minutes or hours. Things that are highly inconvenient to him under normal circumstances won’t be a big deal to him if he’s head over heels for you.

5 Ways to Stop Obsessing Over a Guy For Good

We all have been obsessive about something in our lives. One of the worst obsessions out there is yearning for someone who got away and who was never meant to be your partner. When it comes to dating and relationships, obsessive thoughts are rife in women. We have seen many single and successful women like doctors, lawyers, teachers, etc., talking about the men they are dating. They keep talking about how they are still waiting for his text message before going to bed, waiting for the call from their boyfriends, etc. They become anxious and get stressed out by over-thinking about what will happen if this guy asks them out for the weekend. These women could have gotten any man they wanted, and yet they are obsessing over a guy who is making them wait for hours just for a call. Why is that?

Women are attracted to men who might like them, instead of men who already are interested. However, women feel like if a man is keeping them on pins and needles, then there is some interest in the guy. This means the guy is providing them some attention to fuel their obsession.

If you discover yourself in this situation, here are a few tips to help you stop obsessing over guys like this:

1. Face Your Fears

We all have our fears and insecurities. We need to get them out so that we can confront them. Writing down or talking about these fears will help you get it out of your head.

2. Limit Your Obsessions

Fix a day and a specific amount of time (say 10 minutes) to permit yourself to be obsessive. When the obsessive thoughts come to your mind, and it comes at the day and time outside of your schedule, tell yourself it is not time. Only reserve those thoughts for the time you allowed previously.

3. Ask For Help From Friends

Friends are there to help and support you during the sad times. Friends can help you differentiate between facts and fiction. If you’re sure that your boyfriend is hanging out with someone else and there is no evidence, your close friend can tell you that you shouldn’t think like this unless you have substantial evidence.

4. Keep Yourself Distracted

When you start to obsess, immediately direct your feelings and thoughts to a different thought or action. For instance, when you begin obsessing over something, tell yourself you will do twenty push-ups or listen to your favorite podcasts. Immediately, you will either see yourself thinking of something else rather than obsessing over him.

5. Shut Off All Communication

If you’re anxious that he won't call and you make yourself unavailable, this will keep your ego intact. You can tell yourself either he called, or he didn't, but you were unavailable. This tactic will give all the control back to you. There are plenty of examples where people obsessing over their ex got terribly out of control. The obsession may fuel the affection, but it will distract you from being YOU. Don’t let your obsessive thoughts control your life.

Therefore, if you’re dating someone, and you find yourself in this situation, these steps might help you to alleviate your obsessions.

6 Things Guys Secretly Adore About the Women They Love

When it comes to relationships, there are some specific things men love about the woman they’re dating, but they may not tell her. Whenever a guy falls in love with a woman, there are many little things about her and her character that will make even the most insensitive man smile and make his heart flutter with joy.

Here are six things that men adore about the women they love:

1. A man loves the way he smiles when he thinks about you. No matter how stressed out he is at work, stuck in traffic, or just bored, when he thinks of her, he'll smile. A man considers himself lucky when he has a woman come into his life who can get him to smile. Simply hearing her name or thinking about her will light him up like a firework display. What's not to love about that?

2. He loves it when he can make you smile. Sense of humor is an excellent quality most women look for in a man. A guy loves to see the woman in his life smiling, laughing, happy and having a great time. And he will go the extra mile to make it happen. It's even better if he can make the lady of his life laugh by telling her dumb jokes.

3. He loves being physically close to you. A man loves being close to his woman, whether you two are cuddling on the couch or in bed watching TV, or simply standing next to each other. It’s a good way to feel physically and emotionally connected with someone. You can’t beat the feeling of your girlfriend resting her hand or head on your chest or shoulder – it’s incredible! Another tip- he likes you playing with his hair while watching TV or while he's driving. It’s a great feeling to him! And did I mention he loves when he catches you looking at him?

4. Men adore the way women smile after being kissed. We all know the euphoric and exciting rush we get when we kiss the person we love. The rush emotions and endorphins in our bodies takes us over. Can you explain the spark that you feel when you kiss him or her, and they smile at you? It’s incredible. I doubt there is any other better feeling.

5. He loves how things feel so natural with you. In a relationship, there is no question that every man and woman has to put in some effort to make a relationship work. But if two people can feel at ease and be entirely comfortable with each other, the relationship will feel natural. They won’t feel bored or stressed, rather they will feel content.

6. A man loves going to you for advice or suggestions. If you love someone, you'll naturally respect him or her, who they are and the way they think, and you will value their views and opinions. You'll want to get their suggestions or advice. You'll want to hear about how their point of view compares with your's. You’re interested to hear out their perspectives. If the man in your life asks for your opinion, take it as an excellent sign that he loves you.

4 Ways Thinking About Sex Will Lead to A Better Relationship

When it comes to relationships, we reflect on a lot of things. But, are you thinking about the right stuff? We all want to have healthy and long-lasting relationships. Love and sex makes the world go around. We’re human; it’s what we do. Now it’s been discovered that thinking about sex is as important as having sex in romantic relationships. In other words, the ultimate key to a better relationship is to think more about sex.

Yes, you heard that right! The more you think about sex, the better your relationship will be. However, this doesn’t mean you folks in relationships should just start having more sex. It actually means that you should increase your raunchy thoughts. Eventually, thinking about sex more helps men and women in loving relationships.

Researchers have found that men and women who were exposed to sexual stimuli, images or thoughts, were highly likely to open up about themselves and date someone with whom they can share their feelings and thoughts. Psychologists have always said that a person needs to be sexually aroused to initiate sex with a partner. They also said sex is a way to start emotionally bonding. The human is designed to forge relationships, and when we are dating or in a relationship, we have sexual desires, and sexual desire makes us chatty. Being chatty actually comes in handy a lot when people first start dating. Chattiness is also suitable for couples in long-term relationships. When people are thinking about sex, emotional intimacy gets initiated. Whenever people think about sex and later share his or her personal stories, it makes the other person attracted to them

Here are some suggestions that will be helpful to cultivate this sexually driven chattiness and lead to a better relationship:

1. Be aware of it and be cautious with whom your start talking to. Sharing too much with the wrong people won’t do much help to better your relationship.

2. Pay attention to your boyfriend or girlfriend. If you notice them being extra romantic, it may be a good time to chat. But, keep in mind not to bring up any marital issues.

3. Don’t talk too much. Don’t give away too much information. At the same, it’s also not nice to just blabber away at your partner about every little emotion or thought. Instead, open up slowly and give your significant other time to speak. Don’t have the spotlight all to yourself.

4. Create a sexy environment. If you’re thinking of giving your physical and emotional closeness a little push, consider crafting a charming and sexy atmosphere. Light candles for dinner, play romantic music or wear something that looks hot. If your significant other is in a happy, open and sharing mood, have sex with them.

When you’re dating someone or you are in a relationship, thinking about sex is as important as having sex. Thinking about sex more than usual can lead a healthier, better relationship.

3 Important Steps To Help You Reconnect With Your Partner

Are you feeling disconnected from your spouse? Are you thinking of ways to make your relationship more romantic? Thinking of getting your girlfriend or wife a diamond necklace or a sexy dress? Sounds like a good idea, right? Not always. You see, expensive jewelry or that romantic dinner date isn’t the way to a woman’s heart. In fact, it’s the mundane and smallest of acts in relationships that are the most significant of all. You can’t have a loving relationship if you fail to connect emotionally with your partner.

Here are three steps to help you reconnect with your partner:

1. Accept Offers For Connection

Most couples often ignore each other’s emotional needs not because of resentment, but out of mindlessness. If you want to feel connected with your partner, the first initiative will be to recognize how important those small and rather meaningless moments of love are such as sitting together and watching TV silently, or kissing your partner while she’s making coffee, and so on. This is vital, not only for building trust in your relationship, but for intimacy and romance as well. The simple act of not taking everyday interactions, and yes, small acts, for granted can do miracles in a marriage or a romantic relationship. For instance, helping your significant other with chores around the house will do more good to your relationship than going on a week-long vacation in Paris.

2. Understand Each Other's Love Maps

Most often, couples assume that their partners listen and can read all of their feelings. The secret to understanding your spouse well isn’t derived from mind reading. Instead, it’s accomplished through hard work and sharing openly and honestly your emotions and thoughts. Do you know the moment your partner worries and stresses the most? How much can you tell about their hopes and aspirations? What are their life goals? The best way to understand each other is by asking them questions, and keep on asking them. Remember all the answers. Sharing your inner self and knowing your life partner better is a reward that will last a lifetime.

3. Cultivate A Sense Of Appreciation And Respect

One of the major components of a healthy, lasting relationship is a deep sense of appreciation and respect for each other. If you interrupt your wife in the middle of a conversation where she’s trying to prove a point, how can you build affection and respect in the relationship? We all have flaws in our personalities.

Learn to accept those flaws, rather than focusing on your partner’s inadequacies. If the moment is right, express what you cherish about him or her. The key is to learn how to reconnect with your spouse, and when you see your significant other doing something right and good, appreciate them. Tell them that you’re thankful that he or she has done all the dishes, and you genuinely appreciate it. Keep in mind that every time you do this, your partner will feel an emotional connection with you, which is vital to have a thriving and long-lasting marriage or a relationship.