All posts by Dating Guru

Want Your Partner To Change? Here’s What You Should You Do

If you want your spouse to change, the first thing you need to do is by starting to accept them for who they are. People will only change when they feel they’re liked, loved and accepted the way they are. When people think they’re disliked, unappreciated, and criticized, they’ll resist any changes. Why? Because they feel like they’re under siege and will do anything to protect themselves.

Instead of criticizing your girlfriend or boyfriend, remind yourself of all of the things you love and appreciate about him or her, and share those things with them. Be genuinely interested in understanding why they see and do things that are different than you. Appreciate, respect and even celebrate what makes each of those differences unique. Sure, you’ll stumble across some traits that should never be tolerated in a relationship, like addiction, abuse, or infidelity.

Below are four things you can consider doing when you want your partner to change.  Rather than fixing issues in your relationship, these changes will make your relationship better.

  1. Be A Better Spouse

Most people remain in unhappy relationships with the innate desire to change their partner. However, no change will take place, if you don’t free yourself from the pattern you’re stuck in. The change will only come from the bottom up. It means change should come from the partner who is in the most pain, or has the least power, or has compromised or lost too much in the relationship.

  1. Focus On The Problems At Hand

When you fully focus on changing your spouse, you lose the opportunity to work together and figure out a solution. If you with this approach you’re no longer on the same team. Instead, focus on the problems on hand that will satisfy you and your partner’s needs. Anger and resentment in the relationship are generally a manifestation of hidden hurt, fear, and frustration. So, focus on expressing your thoughts and feelings in a vulnerable way that appeals to your girlfriend or boyfriend to understand your pain, instead of pushing them away.

  1. Accept Responsibility

We should take responsibility on how our words and actions make our partner feel. Be responsible for the problem and apologize to your spouse, even if the problem is insignificant. It will promote forgiveness, validate their feelings, and will allow both of you to move on.

  1. Don’t Blame Anyone While Complaining

One of the primary reasons for divorces is criticizing your partner. Criticism is different from voicing a complaint. When you criticize someone, you’re basically attacking the core of a person’s character. On the other hand, when you complain about someone, the complaint focuses on a specific behavior of a person. Successful couples, instead of complaining, talk to each other about their feelings in a positive viewpoint and assure each other that they’re both doing the best they can. They don’t talk about what they do not need. By becoming better friends, you can create a healthy, secure bond that will help you resolve and handle challenging moments together. This is much more fruitful than believing that you want your spouse to change. Instead of attempting to change your significant other, be the change you want to envision in your relationship.

Are You A Single Person? Then These Are The Modern Dating Habits You Should Follow!

If you’re single and looking for a date, it’s important to know that the dating rules for singles have changed. You see the dating behaviors hugely different between the ages. We find that younger singles are more likely to meet their matches through online dating, Facebook or other social media sites and are evasive about their availability. On the other hand, older people looking for relationships are extra cautious when it comes to dating in the digital age.

That being said, here are the seven dating habits that every single person needs to follow:

  1. He Asks, She Pays

When it comes to dating and relationships, all our lives we keep hearing and believing that men are supposed to make the first move. But there have been some changes recently. According to 41 percent of women would like to pick up the check on a first date. That's good news for guys. So, all you’ve to do for your next date is you ask her out, and she’ll foot the bill. Seems like a win-win situation to me!

  1. It Only Takes 15 Minutes

Believe it or not, it takes only for you and your date 15 minutes to decide if you’ve chemistry or not. 31 percent of both men and women admitted that dating for 15 minutes is all it takes to make a decision.

  1. Honesty Is The Best Policy – Still!

Not enjoying the date with her? Can’t tell her either because you don’t know her name? Well, tell her anyways. According to survey, 52 percent of singles agree that it’s polite and a good policy to tell your date that you aren't interested in him or her. We all agree to this as we can see nothing good can come out from being dishonest.

  1. Don’t Have Sex On The First Date

Don’t go all the way if you’re on a first date. According to survey, 80 percent of singles said f they won’t like to have sex on the first date. Create mystery on the date by holding out. If your date can get it all in one night, they’ve nothing to be motivated to call him or her for a second date.

  1. Follow-Up

It’s perfectly reasonable to follow up. The question is when? The survey reported 48 percent of women prefer to follow up with their dates within 24 hours. Whereas, 68 percent of guys are likely to follow-up with their dates around three days after the date.

  1. Classic Communication Is King

In today’s digital era, communicating with someone or following up on a date can be done in hundreds of ways such as text, e-mail, instant messages, etc. But we weren’t surprised to see that 80 percent of singles still prefer to talk over the phone. After all, good old communication using the phone is still the king.

  1. Spend Time With Your Friends

When it comes to dating, sometimes, your friends can get a bad rap. But that’s not always the case. 35 percent of the ladies and 50 percent of men will introduce their dates to their friends after dating their matches for one month, regardless of how old they are.

These Are The 5 Traits Men Find Irresistible In Women

Women understand what men want to see in a woman. They learned all they can talk about it, what feels irresistible to them, and gives it to them. Women have learned to be someone men can’t resist at the party; they don’t always need to be the most attractive.

If you’re having issues attracting and keeping a guy around, here are the five irresistible in traits men find women:

1. Irresistible Women Gives Positive Experiences
She knows very well that to build a deeper emotional connection with a man it is important to have fun, a loving, and positive experiences in a relationship. It’s these types of experiences will make a man want to come back for more. When a man is with a woman, he wants her to bring joy into his life, not sadness. So, when you’re spending time with a man, focus on enjoying the moment, and stop worrying about the past, the future, or anything else for that matter.

2. Irresistible Women Pursues Her Passions
A woman of high-value and integrity will have her own friends, hobbies, passions, and things when her boyfriend isn’t with her. If a guy wants a night out for himself or hangs out with his friends without you, an irresistible woman won’t make a huge deal out of it or do something totally unattractive or desperate to get invited. You will unhappy, and will also make your man miserable if you make him the center of your life. He will never do the things you always wanted to do, and you’ll make him feel guilty all the time of not doing things with you.

3. Irresistible Women Doesn’t Talk Bad About Her
Not acknowledging a compliment after getting it from someone is not a good thing. If a man gives you a compliment, don’t reject his positive advances. Instead say, “thank you,” or “That’s very kind of you.” Self-deprecating or talking bad about yourself demonstrates a man that you don’t care or love yourself enough. If you want to attract a good man and be in healthy, long-term relationship, you must embrace your feminine qualities; start talking positively about yourself and stop self-deprecating about your flaws. After all, how can you care and love someone, if you don’t love yourself?

4. Irresistible Women Appreciates A Man’s Masculinity
Men will be men. Men appreciate women when you understand the differences between them. It’s this realization that makes connecting with a man unpredictable and exciting. A man has his sense of masculinity and preferences and will do things differently than you. For example, if you invite your man to your friend’s wedding, and he declines, respect his decision. Don’t force to attend the ceremony that there will be men there. If a woman coerces a man to do something that he doesn’t feel to do, he will start feeling less attracted to you.

5. Irresistible Women Are Easy-Going
Men love women who are easy-going, can relax, not try to control every situation. For example, if your man is making dinner for you, and chopping tomatoes, don’t tell to cut them half in cubes or one-inch cubes. Instead, let him do his thing.

When you are looking for someone, nurture your friendships, and explore what makes you truly happy. The happiness and passion that you’ll feel in your will definitely attract you a partner.

Stop Attracting Losers For Your Dates. Follow These 3 Steps To Meet A Keeper, Instead!

When it comes to dates, we all have a type. Some men like blondes, while women might admit they like men who are tall and ambitious. Another important point to note here is that some men and women have a tendency to date the same type of person, despite knowing the fact it will lead to an unhealthy relationship and ultimately will leave them broken-hearted. What’s more surprising is that it had led them to this situation over and over again. But there is good news for folks stuck in this vicious loop while looking for partners. Patterns are not absolutes. They can be broken.

However, you need to remember that dismantling a bad dating pattern can’t be done in one step. It’s a three-step process.

Step #1: Ask Yourself Why
There is a reason you’re attracted to people who you go for. Maybe you like a challenge, perhaps you like their looks, but, most likely, you’re drawn to particular types of men and women because they resonate with you in some form of deeper perception of yourself. In the dating world, people go for with what they feel safe and familiar with. Why? People are afraid of the unknown. Much of these feelings and emotions have been derived from our childhoods. For example, while growing up, if you didn't like your parents, you may see yourself dating people who also dislike their parents. If you did like your parents, you would like to date people who are similar to them.

Step #2: Pay Close Attention On How You Speak To Yourself
Whether you think quietly, or talk to yourself loudly, you’re talking to yourself one way or another regularly. What are the things do you keep telling yourself? What do you think you deserve more? What is your reaction when faced with failure or rejection? Do you date people you reinforce you to self-talk? Often, people feel the most familiar to us when they resonate their inner thoughts and feelings that are fleeting in our minds. There is something that is holding you back from changing the kinds of men and women you date. The moment you find whatever this thing or these things are, you will have the ability to select your potential partners differently.

Step #3: Practice Loving Yourself
We keep telling this all the time to all those single men and women looking for love, yet they’re still not in a relationship. If you want to love someone else, start loving yourself at first. This loving yourself thing doesn't require to stockpiling on hand lotions or start using battery operated toys. Instead, it means loving yourself without having a boyfriend or a girlfriend.

Most people, despite being in a crappy, abusive relationship refuse to break up or fear breakups because intensively scared of loneliness. You must eliminate this fear if you’re seriously adamant in breaking the pattern of bad dating. Therefore, get some time off from your busy work schedule; use that time to deal with yourself with that fear, and destroy that fear of being single and alone. If you feel confident and comfortable being single, you can make changes in your dating pattern by seeing people based on what you feel, rather than what makes your afraid.

8 Signs That Prove You Aren’t Fully Ready For A Relationship

If you find yourself unsuccessful and frustrated in dating, it can be that you aren’t fully ready for a romantic relationship. We understand you might feel lonely or feel pressurized by your friends and family to be in a relationship, but for the time being its single is the better option for you until you figure things out.

Also, it will also give you some time to re-evaluate if it is realistic for you to be in a committed relationship. That being told, the value of being single, sometimes, is underestimated. Your life as a single man or a woman can be full of fun and fulfill, if you keep working on yourself, develop friendships, meet new people, and simply let yourself relax. Pause for a moment of where you, and think deeply if the thing you’re missing out in your life is a relationship or something else.

Here are the eight signs that prove you’re not ready for a relationship:

    1. You always keep listing only unappealing qualities of men. When you’re looking for men rather than looking for a fit and toned guy, you’re always listing not so attractive characteristics of men like a protruding nose hair or having a beer belly.

2. In your previous relationships, you never achieved closure with your ex or exes. Most of the time you’re always flirting or romanticizing about getting back together with one of your exes.

3. You’re engaging in casual sex and very fond of the “friends with benefits” thing. You’re viewing sex as a recreational activity, rather than a way to develop a profoundly sacred connection with your partner.

4. Reading your books on your nightstand is the best thing you like to do at the end of a busy day. You keep dreaming of spending time with your favorite characters from the stories of your current novels.

5. You can’t let go of your past. You keep holding tight onto your past baggage. The disappointments and troubles from your past relationships and the reasons for you being single have become your identity.

6. Your freedom is crucial to your than everything else. You’ve become very set and attached to your daily routine so much that if someone asked or introduced you to a different style, it would drive you insane.

7. You feel lost, unhappy incomplete without a partner. If you really want to give love to someone, you should first be happy with yourself. If you can't be satisfied and happy with you life, or can’t happiness by your own, and expect somebody else to make you happy, then your heart and mind are in the wrong place.

8. Your attitude is all about “been there, done that.” You still can’t grasp the idea that you need to invest a lot of your time and effort to be in a healthy and committed relationship. You’re still doubtful that relationships are worth the effort or responsibility.

If you’re still single and looking for someone and none of these signs fit your persona, then persevere. Don’t lose your patience and continue searching for your soul mate. For the time being, be happy with your current situation and stay open to change and new opportunities.

5 Simple, Romantic Ideas To Have A Great Date The Whole Week

Our lives can get stressed out and little hectic between work, meeting hours, weekly events and out favorite TV shows. With so many important things to do, finding the right time to have a date is pretty hard. Hold your plans for a date night for the weekend because it’s time you put back the romance back into your weekdays.

Here are some simple and romantic dating ideas that will make you feel love the entire week:

Date Idea #1: Rent Some Classic, Hidden Treasures From The Library
If you’re addicted to Netflix, no worries, we all are, then put down the remote and go to your local library. There are plenty of classic and latest movies perfect for a casual every night snuggle, and it’s all free. There is a bonus point. Your local library has books too. So, check out a few books, and recommend to each other.

Date Idea #2: Up Your Game With Board Games
Before the advent of modern video games and online gaming, board games were a casual, fun way to spend a night when you’re staying at home. But, that doesn’t mean that board games aren’t fun to play anymore now. If you don't have any board games, visit your local thrift shop for retro board games or chess boards. You can also grab a deck of cards for some friendly round of blackjack or poker. And if your mood is a little feisty, why don’t you play Scrabble?

Date Idea #3: Indulge in your Desserts
Heading to your favorite bar or restaurant after a long day at work to dig into your food or drink is a classic move. But, it will surely get old or boring when you’ve been there too many times, and after you've tried just almost everything on the menu. What to do now? Consider switching to a new restaurant or bar that is famous for its desert and mojitos. This is super perfect for an early night, a little lasciviousness, and a heck lot of time for a serious kissing session with your date.

Date Idea #4: Be And Play Like Kids Again
True, all those gaming arcades are filled with kids everywhere. But, these little buggers (no offense) need to go bed on weeknight. Call your girlfriend and stop by the nearest arcade and let both of yourselves free for a romantic getaway filled with tons of fun, games, and prizes without all the craziness that we all know when you visit those places during the weekends. This is an excellent way to spend any weekday with your date, if you're feeling especially nostalgic for your childhood, and want to re-live and re-experience it with your significant other.

Date Idea #5: Explore The Neighborhood
Living in your new place in a new neighborhood, and know nothing about it? Take your car or bike, crank up your favorite tunes, and go out for a spin with your significant other. Nothing can be better than cruising the open road and your significant other sitting beside you, the wind flowing through your hair, the sunlight basking on your faces, and those fleeting sultry melodies. If you’re dating or in a relationship, this is the best way to last the date as long as you want it to, giving you plenty of time to focus solely on your date.

Your Boyfriend Is So Into You If He Does These Things!

So you’ve met someone and madly in love with him. You’ve been in a relationship for several months, but you can hear a tiny voice inside your head asking you whether your boyfriend really loves you or not? How can reassure yourself that you’re more than a fling to him? How can you be so sure that he won’t dump you?

Here are some signs that your boyfriend is very much in love with you more than you can imagine:

1. He Decided To Watch A TV Show With You
Your partner certainly thinks that the relationship he has with you is going last forever. He’s so into you that he decided to afraid to begin a TV series with you. This way, he made a clever, yet cute excuse to keep seeing you, snuggle with you in bed and spend some quality time with you every Friday watching his favorite TV show.

2. He Always Initiates
He plans all the date and follows through them. He surprises you with your favorite chocolate, or dress, or flowers while returning from work. He does the dishes and cleans up after you’re done with the cooking. He feeds the dog and takes out the trash. The bottom line is, he doesn’t like to sit back and be lazy, while you do all the work. He actually wants to do stuff with you, and he feels comfortable to show you that.

3. He Responds To Your Calls And Texts Immediately
It doesn’t matter how busy a person is, if someone loves you and cares for you, he or she will make time to call or text you. If he’s busy and can’t take your calls or reply to your texts immediately, he will call you and notify you about it. If your boyfriend only texts you when it’s convenient for him, he is obviously not into you that much.

4. He Talks About The Future
He discusses seeing or spending time with you the next weekend. He talks about what will happen in the following weeks. He doesn’t forget nor worried to include you in his plans or make other arrangements with you in advance in the coming weeks. He always includes you and sees you in his future.

5. He Introduces You To His Family And Friends
If a man is genuinely in love with a woman, he will happily show her off and introduces her to his family and friends. He will bring you along to his family BBQ at his parents’ place. He will take you along while having a beer and hanging out with friends. He will make you his “Plus One” at his friend’s wedding. He will gradually include you more and more into his life. He wants you to like his parents, his family and be friends with his buddies.

6. He Recalls Things You’ve Mentioned To Him On Dinner Dates
He remembers what your favorite flower is or favorite kind of chocolate is, he remembers your birthday as well your mother’s birthday, and how to like to have your morning coffee. You feel surprised because you don’t even remember mentioning these things because it’s all small talk. But he has taken notes of them mentally because when you love someone deeply, everything you say matters to him.

Things A Man Does That Show He Doesn’t Love You, But Settling For You, Instead!

It could be startling to know the person they love could be settling for them, despite it is pretty common now. Many folks don’t even recognize that they’re settling for someone until they have an epiphany about it. But, the truth is that most of us have settled with someone we weren’t fully in love with at least once in our lives. So, why do people settle with someone they aren’t in love with. There are several reasons, but the primary reason is due to their insecurities.

Here are few signs that show that he doesn't love you, but settling for you:

He Doesn't Introduce You As His Girlfriend
If the guy you’re dating introduces you to his friends, family, coworkers, etc. as “meet my friend, Jane,” instead of “meet my girlfriend, Jane,” then it’s clear that he is having second guesses in the relationship. This is a big red flag in the relationship that he might be embarrassed about something about you, or about your looks, or your behaviors or habit, or is afraid of commitment or is simply not that into you.

He's Easily Get Irritated By Your Quirky Habits
During the initial days of a relationship, couples might find each other’s quirky habits cute and adorable. But, if you’ve been in a relationship with your boyfriend for a few weeks or months, and they already feel annoyed or disturbed by some of your habits or behaviors, we can safely say that he’s not really that into you, and won’t be in the future.

He Doesn’t Invite You To His Family Or Friends Events
Men like to show off their girlfriends or wives to their family and friends, and share all the things that matter to him to you. If you’re dating a man for a few weeks or months, and see him going to various family and friends events such as birthday parties and wedding with you, there is a reason he's decided not to bring you along. Normally, weddings are social functions where people bring someone they’re newly dating. If you’re already in a relationship for several months, and you see that your fiancé is going to weddings without you, we can assume that apparently, he doesn’t want you to get acquainted with his friends or family. It’s is clear sign that he is not into you, or madly in love with you.

He Talks About How Some Women Are “Out Of His League.”
Only a jerk will think about doing something like this. He’s basically implying that you aren’t special to him and that you are in his league, not out. He likes to date women who are out of his league but eventually decided to settle with you. A guy who really loves you and cares about you will always think that you’re the best thing that has happened to him.

He Takes Other People Advice About Your Relationship
If you’re dating someone, and if they’re really into you, they will care very less what other people think about you or the relationship. Meanwhile, if you discover that your partner is always seeking out other people’s advice before making important decisions regarding your relationship, then we have a problem. It’s a direct indication that he doesn’t value or considers your opinion about important decisions in the relationship, proving that you're not right for him.

Got Rejected By A Girl? Here Are Some Tips On How To Deal With It

We can guarantee any person looking for a partner has an experienced rejection at least once in their life. However, among other forms of rejection such as rejection from a company you apply to, or your boss rejecting your ideas, being denied by a woman you love is most agonizing and disappointing. Regardless, how painful the rejection might be, you need to deal with rejection from a girl is important. Otherwise, the pain and grief will overwhelm you, and will adversely affect your work and life.

Here are five tips on how to deal with rejection from a woman and move on:

  1. Accept The Truth

Rejection is a part of the dating process. People get rejected on a daily basis. If you like someone, you need to ask her out on a date and tell her about your thoughts and feelings.  It is likely she may not be interested in you or reject you if you ask her out. It’s a simple reality when it comes to dating, and you’ve to respect her decision. You’ve to accept it and move on.

  1. Keep Your Expectations Realistic

Rejections can happen to you anytime. So, you should be psychologically prepared to accept her refusal. If you keep your hopes and expectations high, the more you’ll be disappointed if she rejects you. So, be humble and polite with your date and don’t keep your expectations too high. This will not only help you make a good impression on the girl but will also help you deal with rejection much faster in case she rejects you.

  1. Recognize Your Feelings

No doubt, rejections are painful. It is normal if you’re upset and overshadowed with grief after being rejected by the girl you like. Therefore, don’t shy away from admitting yourself that you’re going through a tough time. Give yourself some time to get over from the rejection and understand your feelings. Relax, take a day off from work, eat or treat yourself with something nice or watch a movie. These things won’t heal your pain from the rejection immediately, but can temporarily help you feel better.

  1. Do Not Take It Personally

We have seen people blaming themselves after being rejected. They think they’ve been rejected because they’ve done wrong things or something is wrong with them. However, keep in mind that being rejected has nothing to do with you. Similarly, there is also nothing wrong with the girl who rejected you. When they rejected you, it doesn’t mean that they hate you or you’re a bad person.

  1. Remove Her Out Of Your Thoughts

This is an effective way to deal with your rejection. Try not to talk to her and avoid meeting or being face-to-face with her as much as possible. Discard everything that reminds you of her. Focus on your work or your daily routine.  Talk to your friends for support and do something that you haven't done before. Doing something different will help you to stop reminding of her, and also avoid repeating the same things that remind of your time with her. You can also consider meeting new girls if you think you’re ready to date again.  Over time, you’ll be accustomed to not having her in your life or being reminded of her.

How Can You Make Relationships Between Extroverts And Introverts Work?

Did you ever found yourself arguing or complaining about something you and your partner disagree about? Do you and your girlfriend have different opinions about what defines a good time and complain about it all the time? If yes, then you’re not alone.

In most relationships, often, we see that one person is more extroverted than the other. He or she is more excited about going to bars, parties, meeting new people, making new friends, inviting people to dinner, and so on. Meanwhile, the other person in the relationship is more introverted. He or she might be happier or comfortable to stay home, have a nice and quiet dinner date with his or her partner,  and only hang out and spend time with a close group of friends. The introverted partner doesn’t like to meet new people or be friends with them. This can be a frustrating experience for both. The more extroverted person often feels their social life is being shorted because their spouses won’t accompany them in the things or activities they want to do. On the hand, the introvert feels pressured and blames themselves just for being who they are.

Of course, if you pause and think about it, you’ll see there are a lot of qualities and behaviors that make you both different from each other, and it’s totally normal.

Your partner loves cats, but you’re a dog loves. You like to play sports; your girlfriend doesn’t. The point it that the two of most likely figured out ways to make your relationships despite the differences, so why make this one a deal breaker? To manage or make your “sociability gap” more tolerable, the best approach you can take it to try and neutralize the conversation, whenever this “sociability gap” gets surfaced. Imagine you want to attend a big dinner party your friend is having, and your girlfriend being an introvert, would not like to go. No one is right or wrong here. So, don’t get upset or angry or let this escalate into something bigger.

Avoid saying over-generalized and counterproductive statements like, “You never want to do anything with me!” or “Your friends are so annoying, that why I don’t want to go!” Statements like that will only make both of you fight with each other and create resentment and tension in the relationship.

Instead, stay positive and focus on the issue at hand.  There are other options than you can consider:

  1. You could show up at the party by yourself. Simply enjoy with your friends without resentment, while your spouse does something they would enjoy such as calling a close friend for a drink at the local bar, go shopping or stay home and watch a good movie.
  2. The two of you could go the party together but decides to leave when your partner is ready probably after dinner or maybe before the host pops up the champagne bottles.
  3. When everything fails, check the guest list. See whether if there is someone in the list your partner would enjoy seeing, a friend may be. It might make her go the party.

If you’re dating someone or in a relationship, both of you want to be heard and respected. So, whatever compromises you make, ensure that it is fair to both.