All posts by Dating Guru

Is It True That Opposites Attract When It Comes To Relationships?

We keep hearing this all the time, ‘if you want to be in a great relationship, find someone who is opposite to you.' Does it work? How come we are attracted to someone with a different set of attitudes, behaviors, interests, and views?

It’s been found that most men and women are attracted to someone who is dramatically different than them. This applies in particular when it comes to social interactions like romantic relationships. The reason this takes place is that our lives are enriched by connecting with other people with abilities that we don’t possess. But, the harsh truth, though this might makes some sense, applying this lesson in our romantic interests will be detrimental on a grand scale.

Therefore, be cautious, when you’re attracted to someone who is different in various ways than you. Sure, opposites attract, but these different traits of both partners tend to drive each other insane as the relationship matures over time. We won’t deny that finding a girlfriend or boyfriend with similar interests or background is a daunting task, if not impossible, and it’s becoming even harder as diversity among people keeps on growing. However, when two people from similar backgrounds come together, they begin the relationship from the point of strength. Maintaining their relationship gets significantly easier as all or almost all of their customs, behaviors, and practices are related to each other.

Forging a relationship with someone who is opposite is so tough because the differences you have needs negotiation and adaptation to accommodate them in the relationship. Plenty of change is required for compromise and accommodation, all of these changes and adjustments can create a lot of stress. Sometimes, there might be much difference among both parties, and the relationship won’t be able to thrive or even survive all the strains associated with adapting and compromising to each other.

What types of differences cause the most problems? If you’re looking for a good relationship partner, then look for these four specific areas.

      1. Energy Level: If he loves to relax on the couch and watch TV at most nights and she likes to go dancing at the bar three times a week – watch out.

 

      2. Personal Habits – This includes timeliness, punctuality, personal hygiene, cleanliness, weight management, drinking, and smoking.

 

      3. Use of Money – One partner like to responsible with his/her spending and like to save for the future, while the other partner is eager to spend and enjoy life now. Look out for this especially as the conflict derived from this can be disastrous to a relationship.

 

    4. Verbal Skills, Cues, and Interests – If one person is excited for more conversation, while the other wants to be relaxed and be quiet. It’s a sign there is a lot of stress here.

If you’re dating someone who doesn’t have a lot of common with you, being flexible will help to ameliorate the negatives of a relationship between opposites. Flexibility allows people to consider and evaluate the differences, bring alternative solutions, and resolving them. Of course, it will only work if both partners are committed to compromise. Remember, healthy, stable and satisfying relationships and marriages only happen if two people who are very much alike.


2 Major Relationship Problems and How To Resolve Them

Being in a healthy relationship isn’t that easy as it seems to be. Indulging in a relationship isn’t that tough but maintaining a flourishing relationship is a daunting task. Each of the two individuals in a relationship has to face a fair share of issues. Such problems which ultimately lead to conflicts between the two and this can result in a separation. The problems encountered in a relationship do have plausible solutions which could be found out with the help of proper investigation. Without a good research and information, it becomes almost impossible to predict the causes of the problems let alone craving for ways to find their solutions.

The biggest problem of a relationship is the unawareness of the problems in hand, quite often individuals in a relationship aren't aware of the problems that are causing conflicts and issues. The most common problem for clashes in a relationship is infidelity. In addition to this, lack of interest among the people in a relationship is another enormous problem.

1. Cheating
It is probably best to address the elephant in the room first; cheating without a doubt is the most common problem that individuals have to face during a relationship. Either they may be men or women both genders are prone to cheating on one another. The causes and the reasons for them cheating are different but more often or not are entirely justifiable in their own eyes. Signs of cheating are always there but trust and love blind us from addressing them. If and only if the victim of cheating or the one who is being cheated on could pile up the courage to take one small step the chances of their problem being resolved may increase immensely.

2. Lack of Interest
There are numerous scenarios in which the individuals in a healthy relationship just suddenly start to lose interest. There are a countless number of causes of this sudden loss of interest. Some may lose interest due to overwhelming stress of work or any other issue, or some may lose interest simply because they might have got bored and needed a time out. It is essential for the other person in such a relationship to realize this lack of interest and do something about it. Visiting a therapist or a relationship counselor could be of great help in such a case; they could work on finding the cause of such loss of interest which would assist the other person in the search for the solution to this problem.

These two are the most significant ones, besides numerous other problems faced by the couples during a relationship such as; lack of communication, infidelity, lack of responsibility, lack of support, etc. But to find the solution of all these problems the most crucial step in investigations. Without proper assessment, it would indeed become harder to find their solution let alone implementing them.

The Bottom Line
There aren’t any relationships without any problems. The main reason we put up with various issues in the relationship is that the outcome is mostly good after resolving these matters. So, when you’re looking for a relationship, or are in one, don’t lose hope or frustrated when you face issues mentioned above.


Get A Girl to Like You With These Effective Pickup Lines

If you’re looking for a girlfriend, having some pickup lines to initiate a conversation with a girl comes in handy. But, you should know which pickup lines to tell as some sound great in a bar with your friends, while they might look awful when you say that to your date.

Here are four smartly simple ideas to help you keep you smooth with the ladies:

1. Are you Carrie Jones?
This pickup line is the oldest one in the book. Just pick any name, make a move, and simply ask her, “Are you…?” When she gives her reply, check whether she looks annoyed or did you interrupt her, or whether she’s open for more communication. The worst thing that can happen with this pickup line says no and turns away. And if you’re lucky she may point in your direction, and this will give you a chance to follow up like, ‘Sorry, but you look so much like her, or “You look a lot like the girl at my office”, etc. Anyways, make sure that she looks interested, and if not, just let her go and try it with someone else.

2. Hey, Some Nice Shoes You Got There!
One big problem with most pickup lines is that they’re too common and are clichés. So, if you’re really interested in someone else, find something that is special to her, and asks her about it. For example, most ladies love their shoes. You can also think about hair color, coat, jewelry or purse. Tell something nice about these items, and convey to her that you liked noticed certain things about her, and couldn’t resist to tell her about it.

3. What Kind Of Dog or Cat Is That?
Another great conversation starter while approaching women, besides complimenting their hair color, coat, jewelry, purse or shoes are pets. Pets are famous in bringing people together on dog walks and in parks, cafes, beaches all over the country. Everyone wants to talk about their furry little friends such as cats and dogs. But, the idea here is to extend it all sorts of props. For example, if you approach a woman reading a book, ask who her favorite writer is; if she’s listening to music, it’s a good chance to ask her what kind of music she likes to hear, etc. The key is by asking about something she’s doing right now.

4. Allow Me To Buy You A Drink
It’s not smart. It’s not a big thing. It’s simple and straightforward. Keep it polite, don’t be intimidating or demanding. Don’t be threatening. Prepare to take a “no” for an answer, and walk away. While telling this, keep in mind not to sound too desperate or cheesy. If you’re not in a bar or café, or in a place where drinks aren’t allowed or can be served, go for the classic conversation starter, by saying, “Hi there, my name is…” After all, it’s real and sounds genuine. It’s straight, and out in the real world, it’s more meaningful and effective than all those cheesy and fake and ‘not from the heart’ remarks.

If you’re looking for someone, or interested in someone, and you’ve decided to approach her, you can check out some of these pickup lines. It doesn’t matter, whatever you choose to say, just keep in mind one thing – keep it real.


3 Things To Remember When Dating in The Digital Age

Though the internet is a blessing like online dating, it may sometimes create a bad impression. Certain behaviors may be the cause of annoyance to the partner on a date. In fact, there are Dos and Don’ts we should follow for a successful dating.

1. Cell Phone Etiquette
Cell phones are of great use we know, but sometimes it might cause some unexpected problems, which may make the relationship a bit cold or create annoyance. Especially when we go on a date, it is not that there are only two persons rather there is another thing which is our constant companion, cell phones. Nowadays we can hardly think of a day without our cell phones. We feel uncertain and insecure when we don’t have cell phones with us. At present we are grown up like this. However, we need to follow some codes of conduct when we go on a date. Think what the other person in the date feels when he or she sees that his or her partner is talking to someone without paying much attention to them. This may spoil the mood of date. So, when you go on a date, you had better keep your mobile in vibration or silent mood. Besides, you must pay attention and respect to the partner with whom you go on a date.

2. Texting While On A Date
It is considered a bad habit to exchange text message while on a date. You may feel the urgency to exchange or reply text message, but you should always keep in mind that it is not the right time to do the task because it will certainly cause disturbance or can annoy your date. It’s an indication that you’re paying less attention to your partner on a date. Many of you may contend that you have multi-tasking ability. But, it is true that you may go on a date in person while you may also chat or keep on massaging with another one. But it is true how skilled you are in your multi-tasking ability; you must be confused or get caught between the two. Therefore, we recommend, you better not reply to your messages now and then or may ask the permission of your partner on a date if it is very urgent.

3. Breaking Up By A Text Message
Sometimes, the relationship doesn’t always go smoothly. Sometimes, there is a rift in the relationship and can result in a breakup. Now in modern time, we hear the story of breaking up or separating stories by celebrities by sending text messages. It is also published in newspapers, magazines, Facebook and on other social media sites. Does this sound right to you? I hope most will agree with me it’s unethical or wrong. Breaking up by sending texts is disrespectful, heartless and immoral. Let me share with you the correct or polite manner of the break up with your partner if there is a need for it. It is polite and expected that you call your partner and arrange a meeting and explain the reason of why you need to break up. Moreover, it is also expected that you return anything important related to each other. Also, be polite and considerate while you decide to end your relationship.

If you’re looking for someone or thinking of a relationship, it’s imperative that you follow the dos and don’ts while on a date for a successful dating.


Go And Meet Someone Special In These Places!

Life is bizarre, and our life is always changing. It is a great sad fact of life. You had passed your happy and memorable life in the past when you were a school student. Those days will never come back, and the friends of your school life are away from you. After a certain age, it is incredibly difficult to meet new people. In this competitive world, you are to keep pace with time for your routine work. If you don't make changes in your daily routine, it will be almost impossible to meet new people. Where can you meet your new friends? Meeting your mate can happen anywhere, but you have to find out the proper place.

When you meet with the new or old friends, you have to choose appropriate location and area. Why not be a little more unconventional and try something new? Here are few tips:

1. The Dog Park
Dog parks are great places for meeting new men or women and with other responsible dog owners when they get some exercise. For meeting new friends, you can discuss dog food options or how to get your four-legged friend to stop chasing its tail. It’s been found that pet owners have healthier and longer lives. So, it's refreshing and encouraging sign that people you meet at dog parks are caring and active. So, when your pooch is mingling with other furry friends, enjoy the chance of mingling yourself.

2. Airport or Airplane
An airport is a perfect place for to meet new people. It’s natural to be interested in attractive travelers Just wait for a chance to start talking. Suppose you are waiting for your flight to take off, strike up a conversation with the person sitting next to you. If the conversation fails or there is no chance for any connection or a relationship, just relax. Bring out iPod and wiggle out, or open your laptop and get to work.

3. The Farmer’s Market
The farmers’ market is another place where farmers gather with their new produce and other home-made organic products like jams. It’s a people-watching fest, and you get to mingle with the locals. You may have seen many farmers’ markets have live music or performers that make for great conversation starters. Who knows, you can meet your special one there!

4. Seminars and Classes
Classes and workshops usually mean a gathering of many people. If you're a student, you can find many other students in new classes. You can meet some individuals who are different but seems interesting. Besides, you can take a class in woodworking, cooking, dancing, etc. You can also attend a seminar on financial planning or buy your first home.

5. On the Sports Field

Sports help you to stay active and have fun doing it. You may need to play with the children in the field to grab the attention of their parents. You can also meet with other folks who are merely viewers. If you can show better performance, you can be a hero to them. Visit the local kids’ soccer field or your city’s baseball diamond to meet single parents and other sports fans like you.

If you’re looking for someone, the dog park, the airport, and the farmers market are places you would usually visit now and then. These meeting and socializing hubs provide you and your fellow compadres with something in common, or shared interests. So, what you didn’t meet your match, you made some friends. That enough!


7 Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Won’t Commit

So, you’ve the man of your dreams, but you see that he isn’t quite ready to your ‘better half’. Your boyfriend refuses to be committed in the relationship. Why is that you’re already to settle down, but he isn’t.

Here are seven probable reasons:

1. He’s Still Not Over His Ex or Relationship
Even if tells you, your boyfriend is over his ex or his past relationships. He might think that he dating someone else means that he’s fully over his ex, but when it comes to expressing intimacy and establishing a connection he clearly realizes that he isn’t ready for a new relationship.

2. He Had a Bad Experience with his Ex
If your boyfriend just came out from a bad relationship or break up, it’s highly likely that he isn’t ready to be in new one right away. How fast he can get over and move on from all the bad scars from his previous relationship depends on how badly his relationship ended. It’s clear to see that it might some time before he has full confidence in you and make himself believe that you won’t hurt him like his ex.

3. There’s Someone Else
Sometimes, if your boyfriend doesn’t seem much dedicated or committed to you, it might be that he has found someone else who is better than you. This happens mostly to couples who haven’t declared their relationship ‘exclusive’, which gives them the opportunity to date multiple people at the same time.

4. He’s Fully Happy with His Life
Some guys don’t want a girlfriend or a romantic relationship to be happy. True, relationships have some benefits like physical intimacy and companionship, but if a man finds more happiness amongst his friends, hobbies, career, or even with himself, it pretty obvious he would be less inclined to spend his time and energy on a woman to be happy.

5. Money Might Be An Issue
Money is a big issue in any relationships, and can make or break a relationship. If a guy has problems with his finance it can stop a man from committing to a relationship. Maybe he is focusing on developing his career, making more money earning a decent wage, or paying his mortgage or debts. He thinks that having a relationship in this situation will make things worse. Or perhaps, he has seen firsthand, how a failed marriage can ruin a man’s financial future, and he’s reluctant to take that risk.

6. He’s Feels Pushed and Forced to Be a Partner
Both men and women lose their interests with their dates or partners if they sense that they’re pressured into being in a relationship. This makes them run away. Being in a committed, exclusive relationship is a big responsibility. We are talking about the future of the relationship here such as marriage, kids, etc. Some men and women aren’t physically, mentally or emotionally ready to take this huge responsibility. And no one likes to forced or pressured into making this decision.

7. He’s Gets Bored Easily
Some men are addicted to the thrill of falling in love, the flirting and getting physically intimate or having sex with her that’s associated with being in relationship. They entice you to fall in love with them, they tell you all about themselves, be emotionally and physically intimate with them, and they have passed this stage, the thrill and excitement wears off. They get bored and start preparing to fall in love with someone else.


How to End Patterns Of Bad Relationship

If you’re recently single, you get valuable perspective and time to reflect on your past relationships, before committing yourself to someone new. But even if you’re in a relationship, previous experiences can be used as lessons for the present. If things get sour or awry in your current relationships, identifying the patterns can help in taking positive steps that can use for your future relationships.

Look out for these four primary indicators while embarking on a new relationship:

1. How are handling the first emotions?
Starting a new relationship can be very divulging. Think about the initial or first few days, weeks, months when you changed your status from single to in a relationship. The progress and maturity of the relationship is a burning issue at this phase. Some relationship commences with a deep infatuation. Often, physical or intimate relationships are established prematurely which can result in confusions about intimacy, emotional intimacy and commitment between the two people. Meanwhile, some relationship progresses rationally and steadily. If you’re in a new relationship, recall your past relationships and see whether there are similarities. There isn’t anything wrong with being strongly attracted to a someone you like, but it’s how you handle this passion that can make or break a relationship.

2. How quickly do things develop?
Recall some of the most significant memories of your previous relationships. Think about your first kiss. Remember the first time you made a gesture for a commitment in your relationship. By pinpointing these occasions, you can assess whether a relationship has advanced at a regular or hurried pace. If things in your relationships progressed quickly, it could indicate that one or both partners were feeling vulnerable, impulsive or over enthusiastic. Remember, the most stable and healthy relationships develop steadily and gradually.

3. Who do you favor to get involved with?
In dating and relationships, men and women, are often attracted to partners with similar flaws. Compare your exes and identify if their characters match up in person. Before you surrender your single status for an ‘in a relationship’ status, make your potential new match significantly different from your last date.

4. Do your dates have similar backgrounds?
When you’re dating, someone new considers their personality traits, as well as their family backgrounds. Analyze their life and family backgrounds. Do they come from an unstable, broken, or chaotic homes or families? Think long and hard about the moments of your past relationships, and assess how this has impacted your past relationships. By examining your past relationship, you can help ensure a stable and happier future.

Healthy Relationships are wonderful, beautiful experiences in a life of a person. Bad relationships are unfortunate events, and the emotional scars received from abusive and unhappy relationships, and breakups can be difficult for someone to forget and move on. It can also make someone looking for a new relationship to connect with someone new and be physically and emotionally intimate with him or her. So, before you begin a new relationship, and don’t want to go experience the harshness of a failed relationship, look out for these bad relationship patterns.


6 Ways For Overcoming Insecurity In Relationships

Falling in love with someone is an incredible feeling. If you want to have a healthy relationship, communication, trust and integrity are crucial. And building a relationship on these qualities is hard work but not impossible. But, sometimes our emotions betray us. We might go through a rough patch with our significant others, but in the end, we all come through, forget our differences, and try to be better partners. Sometimes our instincts tell us things we don’t like to follow through, and the fear in our heart overwhelms us, and Insecurities are born. Unresolved fears can accumulate and can be detrimental to our relationships.

In this article we will guide you in overcoming various insecurities in your relationship:

1. Togetherness. The purpose of people want to be in relationships is not to be alone. So, in a relationship, it is imperative to think of each other as two peas in a pod. You’ve to be there for each other as much as you can. That is how you build trust in the relationship. This feeling of togetherness will result in overcoming your deepest insecurities in your relationships.

2. Get rid of your selfishness. Too much ego affects a healthy relationship. Ego paves the way for selfishness to thrive. Don’t let ego get in the way in being close, and intimate with your boyfriend or girlfriend. You can’t focus all of your efforts and energy on your happiness. You should share it with your significant other as well.

3. Stop thinking about the past. People have their past, and not all of it might be something to talk back home. There might be some bad chapters. Don’t bring these up. Insecurities can stem from overly relishing the past relationships. Be happy with the person you are with now. Thinking about your exes and past relationships will only complicate things, making it even more challenging in overcoming insecurities in our relationships.

4. Finding A Middle Ground. There isn’t any relationship where there aren’t any arguments and fights. Arguments can range from fridge magnet to a burnt frying pan, and can sometimes lead to many unfortunate things such as a breakup. It can also trigger tension and fear in the relationship. Therefore, try to a middle ground while resolving arguments. There is no right or wrong partner; try to find a ground where both of you can agree on a matter.

5. Paranoia is a curse, ditch it! Constantly being worried about something often result in unwanted stress and more worry. Just because you’ve seen your boyfriend/girlfriend with the opposite sex doesn't mean he/she is cheating! Your significant other is a human and humans socialize with people. Both of you have the right to communicate with other people.

6. Improve your communication skills. Communication is essential to have a committed and long-term relationship. Lack of communication might lead to bigger problems. Believe it or not, confrontation or arguments can make you honest with each other. It will break the boundaries of communication between the couple, and make them more close and intimate to each other. Intimacy in any form will have a significant effect on each other and will help in overcoming insecurities in our relationships. If you are emotionally and physically intimate with someone, you can connect with him/her that will remove your many fears and vulnerabilities.


4 Things To Do If Your Boyfriend Or Girlfriend Flirts A Lot

One of the issues that can create a lot of tension in a relationship is flirting, even in healthy relationships where the trust and bond between two people are very strong. When one partner behaves with the opposite sex in such a way that the other partner feels insecure and inadequate, then it’s time you acknowledge that your uncontrollable flirting is creating some real issues in your relationships. You should start working on these matters. Otherwise, things can become even before you realize it.

Here are few suggestions that will help you navigate through the problems together.

1. Define the Issue
If you’re feeling uneasy with your significant other’s flirting with the opposite sex, the first thing you need to do is to figure out how this is affecting you. In other words, what exactly gets onto you when your boyfriend/girlfriend is flirting with the opposite sex? Do you feel insecure? Is it that you doubt your relationship with your partner because he or she has lost interest in you or is dissatisfied with being in a relationship with you? If that’s the case, try to have a conversation with your partner. It seems like your significant other is paying less attention to you, and less prioritizing your feelings and emotions as well as your relationship.

2. Get Some Perspective
Once you’ve identified the problem, and pinpointed the source of your discomfort, it’s time to take some concrete steps to figure out what behaviors precisely are bothering you. After all, there’s a good chance that your boyfriend/girlfriend showed many of these traits before you both got involved in a romantic relationship. These behaviors and qualities might even help you and your partner to come close together in the first place. In circumstances like these, it doesn’t give you the permission to confront your partner and tell him or her to tone down some of their “flirtatious behaviors’, now that you both are in a relationship now.

3. Decide precisely what you want to discuss
If you do determine that it’s imperative to address the issue with your boyfriend/girlfriend, then remain precisely focused on the issues you will be talking. Don’t bring up other problems in the relationship. Try to be precise and specific. Ensure that your partner knows about the problems that you’re currently dealing. For example, if you feel that you don’t feel cared, cherished and respected when you are both together, or not spending enough time with each other, then discuss it.

4. Decide the time and how you want to talk about it
It’s also imperative that you find the best time to have this particular conversation. For instance, you might not want to bring the discussion immediately when you brought out the topic like when you both were at a party. If you’re feeling sad and angry, it’s highly likely that you’ll have the talk with your boyfriend or girlfriend with an attacking and accusatory tone. It will put your partner in a defensive mode and will make your emotions and feelings less heard and necessary. Instead, calm down and talk about the subject at a time when the chances of achieving the results are higher and more expected. Also, the way you speak of this topic is crucial too. As we said, results would be negative if you keep attacking and accusing him or her. Never initiate a conversation in a way that creates conflict. This way you can focus more on expressing your feelings. It will also make you feel less controlling.

If you’re looking for a relationship, it’s totally fine to flirt. Flirting is the first step towards dating someone. But, when you’re in a relationship, then flirting with the opposite sex is disrespectful and hurtful to your boyfriend or girlfriend.


What To Do If You’re Dating a Cheapskate?

Your boyfriend won’t pay for parking, so you walk half a mile to the mall. He won’t pay for valet or even tip the waiters. He tells you that he’s just an old-fashioned, but you think it’s ironic as you always pick up the bill. You start wondering how you end up with this cheapskate of a boyfriend, who is always looking for ways to save a few bucks or pennies, no matter how hard it is.

So, are you willing to get serious with this person, or is there anything that you can do so that your partner becomes a little generous? Here are a few suggestions:

Identify The Difference Between Thrifty And Cheap. Maybe your boyfriend doesn’t have enough cash to splurge on expensive bars or restaurants for dates. Since things aren’t always better when they’re expensive, consider having good experiences on a budget. Go on a picnic in a place with a scenic view, have e decent bottle of wine, or dine in the new restaurant nearby. But, if you are not in a mood to go out, cook something nice and have a romantic candlelit dinner with your partner at your place. Keep in mind that being frugal can be a virtue. Don’t pressurize your boyfriend to spend money on stuff he doesn’t have.

Meanwhile, if your girlfriend/boyfriend has the money, but won’t spend it, it shows that they’re stingy. Apparently, he/she cares so much about money that he/she wants to hold on it. This stingy behavior might manifest itself in other areas of his or her life such as her emotions. If the situation in your relationship is like this, you might want to take a second look at how your relationship will fare in the long run.

Share your Values. Most relationship problems often involve money and money problems. Try having an honest conversation about each other’s finances instead of an accusatory assault. Focus on your values and think if it’s worthy to splurge on dinner at that expensive restaurant at the theatre or having that posh champagne. If money is in short supply, consider splitting the bill while dining out or the movie tickets. Check out for coupons in the newspapers or magazines that offer discounts at supermarkets, or restaurants and even concerts. Tell your girlfriend that you aren’t a compulsive spender and that you’re responsible spend with her and willing to do your part to keep the expenses under control.

Determine If You Can Handle Your Cheapskate Partner Over The Long Term. It’s important for you to decide if your partner is a generous person by nature who doesn’t have much money at the moment or is just plain cheap. If your boyfriend doesn’t think him being a cheapskate isn’t a big problem, it can cause some problems in your relationship now and then. Also, he being a tightwad can manifest to other sensitive and intimate parts of the relationship, and if this happens, then you got a huge problem.

People, especially their bad habits don’t change. It doesn’t matter if you’re dating someone new or just got back with your ex after breaking up with him or her a while ago. So, think long and hard about than spending habits of your girlfriend/boyfriend, before you get married, as it’s highly likely that things won’t change much after you settle down.