All posts by Dating Guru

Rules On Dating Again After A Breakup

Often people say that the best way to recover from a breakup is to get back immediately in the dating scene and start dating. We aren’t saying that’s it's wrong, but it could backfire. So, we won’t suggest this to anyone. The thing is dating can sometimes be challenging. Finding a great match, and falling in love is a slow and a thoughtful process. If we don't rush, be patient, and make the right decisions, beautiful things can happen. Consequently, making hasty decisions will result in accidents.

So, after a breakup or a divorce, they rush into a new relationship. They believe that being in a new relationship will help them deal with pain from their previous relationship. It’s okay to feel that way. We all want to in loving, committed relationships. But, if you really want to get over from your past split, and want to have a healthy and happy relationship, you need to follow some ground rules. These are:

First, let’s make it clear that you’ll meet a lot of potential partners when you’re ready to date after a split. You’re ready to date when you’re –

      • Fully headed from your past relationship;

 

      • Acknowledge all the reasons why it ended;

 

      • You’re accountable for your part of the split, and

 

    • You’ve learned and transformed from the experience.

Now, that we’ve established that, let’s talk how can you be a great dater. You’re ready to go on dates if:

1. The breakup has completely transformed you, and you want to continue going ahead with your life.
2. You’re optimistic and enthusiastic.
3. You feel empowered and full of confidence.
4. You have a new positive and refreshing attitude about being in romantic relationships and think that you find notice positive changes in your life if you start dating again.
5. You are positive about dating process, despite the occasional rejection, frustration, bad dates, etc.
6. You fully understand that if you’ve met someone right for you, you’ll not rush it.
7. You envision what a healthy, committed relationship consists, and any exception from it is just not worth your time and effort.
8. You feel that you have a lot to offer the right person if he or she finds you.
9. You believe you have that motivation and the confidence to put yourself back in the dating area, keep trying until you find a man or woman who meets most of your realistic criteria.
10. You’ve decided that you’ll have a relationship with someone who has most your sensible qualities, and the least of your deal-breakers.
11. You have a great support mechanism set up consisting mostly of your family members and close friend to cheer you along.

If you’ve been out of a relationship recently, dating someone new can be overwhelming at times. If you agree with all statements listed above, you would be happy to tell that you’ve to move on from your past relationship, and ready to date again with a solid foundation. Alternatively, if some or most of these statements don’t resonate with you, we would recommend you take some time and commitment to deal with your recovery regimen.


5 Actions That Tell Your Man Loves You

If you want to understand men, you need to see their actions. Unlike women who mainly rely on words, you can read a man by his actions. If you really want to know if this is the man you want to have a relationship and get married, his actions will indicate that he is surely in LOVE with you. No matter how hard he tries to conceal his words, the actions speak out in the end.

Here are five actions of a man that says that he loves you:

1. He listens. At the initial days of dating, being a good listener is an attractive and important quality to have, and it becomes even more important and serious if you’re a man. A guy who is interested in you will listen to all you say about your life, family, and friends, and makes sure that he can remember and make references is incredibly appealing to a woman. Besides, by paying attention to you when you speak, shows that he respects and loves you.

2. He is caring. When a man is in love with a woman he likes, he will take care of her. He will fix things around your home or apartment, bring dinner or do shopping for you if you’re sick, take you to dinner or the movies if you’re bored, and so on. All these actions validate that you’re very important to him and he’s trying his best to prove it you by his actions. His efforts to make feel safe and comfortable is clear evidence that he has feelings for you and shows that he can do the same things for you in the future.

3. He has included you in his future plans. If a man loves you, crazy for you, he will talk to you about it and will include you in his future plans, whatever that maybe. It can be realistic long-term plans like inviting you to be his date for his friend’s wedding months away from now and making serious plans to marry you and buy a home for you and your future kids. In other words, he will include you in his daily and future plans, and it all shows that he wants you to be by his side all the time.

4. He introduces you to his family and friends. If a guy is serious about you and he won’t keep you waiting to tell about it to the people he loves, his friends and family members. Come on, if he thinks he has no future with you, why would he make an effort to make you meet his parents. When a man gets you acquainted with his close friends and family, he’s not only feeling proud and happy to show you off to the folks close to him; he also hopes that they too will love you as much he does.

5. When he says something, he means it. Keep all the actions aside for a moment and determine if a man really loves you, when he says the words, ‘I love you' he means it. If a man truly and deeply in love with you and wants you, he won’t be able to keep it in himself. He always says it to you and will make sure he means it!

Actions speak louder than words. When a man truly and madly loves a woman, he will jump leaps and bounds to please a woman, make her feel comfortable, secure and happy physically, emotionally and mentally.


How To Know If You Are In An Exclusive Relationship?

Most people assume that you’re in an exclusive relationship if you and your partner sit down and have a deep discussion about the future of the relationship. But, is that all? What about visual cues? How can you tell if the relationship with your partner is exclusive without talking about it? Read on to find out:

1. Attending Social Events And Activities Together

This one is no brainer, and most people will also conform to it. It’s understandable why folks see it that way as while dating online, most men and women spend most of the time talking to each other, rather than meeting their matches in person. On the other hand, if you meet your online date in person and attending various social events and activities together people think that the relationship is already serious, despite that fact you didn’t even start dating! Remember, your relationship isn’t serious until you’re consistently meeting each other face-to-face.

2. Hanging Out With His or Her Friends

If you’re going to social events and other parties and socializing your partner’s friends, apparently it means that your partner is confident and happy to be seen with you. It is another way to tell people that you both aren’t available for dating anyone else.

3. Socializing With His Or Her Family
Even if you aren’t the meet and have fun with the family kind of person, you take your partner’s family to be an important part of your dating process. If you are meeting and occasionally hang out with the family and relatives of your spouse, it only proves that this relationship is serious. Tip: Your partner’s siblings might turn out to be your best friends!

4. Dressing Up And Going Out

Are you more interested in dressing up and going to clubs, restaurants and other places require reservations and menus, or are you still meeting your date in coffee shops or bars? Do you seem to have a dinner with your date or just stay home order something nice or cook something yourself? The places you visit and spend time together gives a lot of hints on what kind of relationship you are in and how serious it is.

5. Buying Presents

This one isn’t that important, but it resonates more with men than women. If you’re buying exclusive and expensive gifts for your significant other, consider that your relationship has turned serious.


6. Sex

Sexual intimacy by itself would point out the exclusivity of a relationship. If you’re in a committed, serious relationship, sex is highly valued. Guys are increasingly more likely than women to think of sex a critical component in an exclusive and serious relationship. More researchers had reported that men only thought sex was a crucial part of a serious relationship when their partners were interested in being physically intimate with them.

Remember, all of these components need to work together and should be in harmony with each other. Just because one of the events happened to you, doesn’t mean that your relationship has turned exclusive. Though it’s always great that your feelings regarding the relationship be mutual, these signs will make improve your self-esteem and confidence by knowing that your relationship is heading in the right direction.


6 Ways to Stop Your Husband from Cheating On You

When it comes to relationships, cheating is one of the most unfortunate things to happen to a couple. We all live and work in a connected world and some men and women might unknowingly get involved in an affair. Infidelities are disastrous for relationships, so you should take steps go to prevent your partner from cheating on your in the first place. Here are six ways you can stop your boyfriend or husband from cheating on you:

1. Stop nagging. If you want your husband to be happy than the first step you can take is to reduce the amount of nagging. Make a list of all the irritating and annoying things your partner does or the ones you constantly nag him. Now, try to shorten your nagging list to half.

2. Don’t nag him about eating healthy or suggesting him to diet. Let your partner eat what he likes to eat. If you want your partner to eat healthy, try eating healthy yourself. He will then change his diet to follow you and make you happy. Besides, make an effort to cook all of his favorite recipes and dishes at home. It will compel him to come home and enjoying eating and spending time with you. A man’s love for food is primal. So, if you want to keep your man happy, then keep well fed!

3. Try to make your husband spend time with happily married couples. It can be a good influence on your partner’s behavior and will remind him that it better to be happily married rather than being single, alone and miserable.

4. If you’ve kids, don’t allow their problems to come between you and the happiness of your marriage. Remind yourself that your children will eventually grow up, and leave home. But, you’ll have to spend the rest of your life with your husband. Don’t get overwhelmed by problems that aren’t serious. Usually, couples fight about the kind and the amount of punishment their kids should get when they do something wrong. Don’t make it a big deal as long as your children are getting punished.

5. Make time for your husband. This is one of the most important to do to keep the sparks in your relationship flying if you are married for a while. Listen to him when he talks, even if you aren’t interested, tired or bored. One of the big reasons men cheat on their partners is because they’ve failed to get attention at home and their emotional needs weren’t met. So, they try to get outside where they’re admired and loved. So, treat your partner like the way he likes to be treated and loved. If there is something that your partner has mentioned that he finds sexy or adorable to you, buy a ton of it. For example, did he say to you he really loves that new perfume? Buy it. Also, admire and support him through all the life’s problems, and he will never leave your side or think of another woman.

6. Have more sex. If you assume that your partner has a high sex drive, try the best of your abilities to satisfy his carnal needs. Don’t always wait for your man to initiate sex; try to initiate sex sometimes by yourself. This will make your partner think that you too are interested in physical intimacy. The more sex your man gets it at home, the less he will try to get it outside.

There are men and women who have been victims of infidelity although they’ve been loving and supporting to their partners. For those folks, there is little to do to keep their partner’s faithful. For the rest, this list will give people an interesting guideline to make their relationship happy and everlasting.


Got Rejected? It’s Not Always Your Fault!

Let’s be honest; Breakups are hard to deal with. When someone you loved and cared ends a relationship with you, it seems like your whole world is falling apart, you feel upset, disappointed and everything in between. You started to that it’s because of you that your partner broke up with you. The same things can be applied to someone with whom you did like to have a relationship with, but he or she didn’t feel the same way about it or was simply not interested in you. Rejection can sometimes be very painful at a personal level. If you can’t overcome the pain, it can limit your chances of finding true love in the future and create barriers to find future happiness.

So, if you’re interested in someone and the relationship ends, or you got rejected, it’s critical that you embrace a healthy perspective on what just happened. Below are some suggestions that can help you understand it. Read on to find out more:

• When a relationship ends abruptly, recall the facts. Stop thinking about self-deprecating thought like ‘you aren’t worthy of a relationship’ or ‘you’ll die alone’ and so on. These opinions about yourself aren’t only wrong; they will create more pain inside of you for the loss of the person you loved and cared about so much. In fact, if you realize that you’re sadder about what this break up tells about than the person you just lost, it all points to self-condemnation. It’s time that you think positive and says positive things about you.

• Sometimes rejection occurs because there wasn’t any love among the both of you. When someone breaks up with you, it doesn’t mean that you’re imperfect or that you’ve failed to love him or her. It’s neither about you or your partner. Sometimes love fizzles out during the initial days of dating. This is why it’s always a bad idea to have discussions or plans to make lifetime commitment after just a dating for a few weeks of falling in love. The affection and the attraction between the two people can dissipate. It takes time for both people to know that the love they’ve for each other is the permanent or everlasting type. In other words, we can also say that the relationship simply ran out of gas before reaching the finish line. So, don’t think that it happened because of you.

• Usually, relationships can only be long-lasting, if the visions and goals of two people complement each other. Relationships get dismissed when someone in a relationship realizes that his or her vision or plans for the future aren't compatible with his or her partner. We all have expectations from our relationships. When we see that our expectations aren’t in sync with our existing relationship, we lose hope in it and decide to end it. However, don’t think that your partner decided to terminate the relationship or rejected you because you’re inadequate or deficient. It just means that we both don’t have a couple what it takes to have committed, long-lasting relationship.

If you’re looking for someone or already in a relationship, have a deep conversation with your partner about what it takes to be in a healthy and enduring relationship.


What Does Taking a Break In A Relationship Actually Mean?

You probably have been hearing a lot about “taking a break from dating” or “taking a break from the relationship.” But, what does it mean? Nowadays, an increasing number of couples are “taking a break,” whether they’re in a relationship or dating. The whole feels so confusing to most people, often asking how you can take a break from dating or in a relationship. It’s like having your drink in front of you, and you’re drinking it too!

It's a way of an uncommitted individual to end his or her relationship, but don’t have the courage to face loneliness. That’s why they don’t end it straight away. Men and women who are taking a break from a relationship, want to keep their options open, but they want their partners by their side, in case they can lean on them when they want to. It’s common in both sexes, particularly who are in their twenties. It certainly isn’t a beautiful thing, and most aren’t appreciative it. It would have been better to stay single or be in a relationship, rather than keeping someone hanging on a thread. It’s unkind and hurtful. Despite all this, it is seldom reciprocated.

What are the main reasons for the couple to take a break from a relationship? Here are some of the most popular causes:

• They are gradually descending to a full-fledged breakup;
• They are using the “taking a break” as a threatening apparatus to get more out of their existing relationship, which they are not receiving at the moment;
• It helps the partners to spend more time with their friends;
• Couples use as an excuse to go on separate vacations;
• This contributes to postpone a marriage or discussions about marriage for that matter;
• It helps one of the partners to be more in control;
• It helps them to remain interested in other, and being apart from each other helps the cause.

Taking a break ultimately means that the relationship is over. If you’ve fallen out of love, or feel bored with your partner, then taking a break from the relationship won’t help much. You can coerce someone to love you or forcefully love someone. Even if couples take a break, reconcile and get married eventually, the marriage won’t last long because the same issues still exist. Until these problems are addressed, nothing substantial will come out of it.

So, what outcome that this “taking a break” brings to the table? Are you allowed to date someone else? Are you allowed to see someone other? How long will the break last and is there a time limit?

The scenario isn’t good, to begin with. You’re welcome to see someone else if he or she is better than your existing partner, and there is an opportunity that you might find a match within this time. And what if nothing works out? Feeling good or bad depends on you. If you and your partner are a right match, there won’t be many problems in the relationship. If two people come close, love each other, they will be happy to be together. Being apart from each other will only make them upset.


How To Make Long Distance Relationships Work

Long distance relationships are hard. You’ve limited time to share with your partner and keep in touch with limited communication. But many couples seem to make it work and make the best of their geographically-limited situation. But, things can get a little odd when you and your partner are reunited. It is great to reconnect with your partner, but sometimes this transition period can be hard to deal at the same time. You’re still getting habituated to rarely seeing your spouse to being with him all the time. It’s been found that reuniting couples are highly likely to break up and they would have been better off if the long distance relationship remained long distance.

Anyways, here are a few tips to make your transition easy if you’ve been in a long distance relationship.


1. Keep your expectations realistic about your relationship while being apart

As both partners live apart in a long distance relationship, couples have the tendency to reminisce memories of their relationship mostly. Some partners idealize their relationship and believe that it was actually better before. It’s been found that couples who idealize their relationships have a higher chance of breakups. It happens when you envision your partner to be better in your head than he or she is in person. And when the couples reunite, things can get ugly. Both partners feel like they’ve reunited with a complete stranger instead of someone they already know and love.


2. Make visits to your partner as much as possible

Though this won’t be as easy as it sounds, when you have the chance do it! The more time you spend some quality time with your partner and interact with him or her, the less you’ll idealize them. This will reduce the friction and the instability in your relationship when you and your partner reunite. If you can’t visit your partner as often while staying apart, consider visiting your partner more often when the time of the reunion gets close as it will help to get more familiar with your partner emotionally. If physical visits seem unavailable for some reason, try video chatting. The key is to keep the line of communication open, no matter how hard the situation is.


3. Talk About Everything

As the time of a permanent reunion nears, try having a more day-to-day casual conversation with your partner. Many couples don’t like to talk about everyday affairs with their partners in long distance relationships and only like to discuss important stuff. By talking about everything in your day with your spouse, you’re recreating a scenario in which normal couples would be. And you’ll get to know your spouse more. By the way, don’t be scared to argue. Long distance couples avoid conflicts while having conversations due to the reason that they can’t resolve them. But, arguments can be good to know more your partner better as you get an insight how your spouse copes with stressful situations in their lives.

One big problem in long distance relationships is the transition phase. For couples seeing and spending time with their partners’ every day from just seeing a few times in a month or a year can be hard to deal with. But keeping the lines of communication open and easing into the transition is the best way to solve it.


How Long Should You Wait To Get Engaged?

When you’re dating for a while, you probably wondered what’s taking your man taking so long to propose. Is he just patient or is he just playing you along? How long should you or they wait for it? You probably are thinking that maybe your partner isn’t proposing to you because his expectations from this relationship have changed. You’re constantly thinking how long you should wait before he pops the question to you and you’re unsure when will you bring up the topic for discussion with your partner. Your thoughts are filled with frustration and anxiety about the future of your relationship.

Well, to make things easier, ask yourself these four questions before you bring up the conversation to get engaged:

1. Are you ready to accept the relationship as it is, or give up thinking about marriage? Most women like to get married because it’s validated by society and you need to get married to have kids. But, you don’t need to get engaged to be happy and have children. Many couples are now living together as an alternative to tying the knot. Whether you can have a long-lasting marriage or not before living together, the research results are mixed.

2. Are you ready and strong enough to demand from your partner what you wish for? Are you willing to leave the relationship and accept the consequences once your partner failed to honor your ultimatum? If you issued a deadline to your partner regarding the engagement, it would rarely motivate him to do so. And if you keep pressuring him for marriage, it will keep him away from proposing in the first place. Couples, who had conflicts before getting engaged, will have problems in their relationships after getting married. So, if you think that some of these issues need to be addressed, resolve them before getting engaged.

3. Are there any issues in your relationship that is holding your partner to have the discussion with you? Do you think these matters need to addressed, accepted or rejected? Are there any problems with the timing? If your spouse or both of you, are in college or just graduated and looking for a stable job, or not financially stable, it’s okay for you both not to think about getting engaged or married. But, it’s not acceptable for someone who is in his 30s, with a stable job and in a relationship for a few years.

4. Lastly, can you wait? It might be that your partner has a plan of his own and saving up. As you know by now, getting engaged in one of the biggest life decisions one can make and no one should rush it. Sometimes the eagerness to get engaged is so intense among women that they would do and dismiss things that don't relate with their rationale or consciousness. Having a conversation on this subject might bring up problems in your relationship that you always hoped to avoid.

If you’re in a relationship or dating someone for a while, it’s natural for you to get engaged and eventually get married with your significant other. But, before you take the initial steps to get married, you should ask yourself these questions and find the right answers. If you do this, the bringing up this topic and discussing it with your partner won’t be a problem.


4 Reasons You Are Turned Down For Sex By Your Partner

Let’s be honest, being turned down for sex by your partner is awful. You feel rejected and hurt at a personal level. You become angry and resentful towards your partner when she tells you she’s in no mood to have sex. But, if you think that she has no feelings towards you and doesn’t respect your needs, then it’s sad. But, did you even think that maybe it’s your actions and fault that made her turn down your advances? Read on to find more:

1. Timing

Whether you can have sex or not with your partner has a lot to do when you ask her. Is your partner tired? Did she just have a big meal? Did she just return home from work? Is she sad or distracted? Sometimes men fail to understand that most women won’t be aroused if they’re pondering on something or feeling upset such as a fight with a friend or something that’s gone wrong at work and so on. Whereas for men, only a light kiss on the mouth is enough for most men to forget all the problems and be ready for some sex. So the next time when you’re thinking about initiating sex with a partner, and you get turned down, don’t get angry.

2. Approach

When you were dating your partner, did she ask you to have sex with her? Of course, not! You made her get attracted to you, seduced her, made her want, and you took control. Just because you’re now in a relationship doesn’t mean that she will be ready to have sex with you when you ask for it. Women want their partners to make them feel needed. This is why you had so much sex during the early days of dating, not because you asked for it, but because you wanted her and you made her feel it!

3. Appearance

Women pay more attention to appearance to their bodies and other bodies more than men. It’s true that you're in a relationship for a while and she still loves you. But, they still maintain standards. You’re naïve to think that they’re still attracted to sexually like before when you’ve gained a few extra pounds and uncaring about your grooming habits. So, get fit, keep yourselves clean, be impeccably groomed and make an effort to be appealing to her just like you did when you both first started dating.

4. Foreplay

One big mistake most men make is a lack of foreplay while initiating sex. Foreplay is much more important that the act of sex itself. There is no break for foreplay. So, before you think about asking your partner for sex, recall how things have been between the two of you before the last time you had sex. Did you have a fight or an argument a few hours ago? Then forget about having sex with your partner until you resolve the matter you had an argument over. Have you been paying attention to her feelings and thoughts recently? Have you been kind with her? Remember, you can only have “makeup sex” when you made an effort or worked to resolve a problem in your relationship.

Finally, if you want to have a more active, fulfilling sex life, and sexually satisfy your partner, keep in mind that woman wants you to make an effort for it. So, the next time, your partner doesn’t want to be physically intimate with you, it’s time you examine yourself and see if you’re contributing to the problem.


How to End a Bad Date Nicely

Let’s be clear, bad dates happen, and sometimes they must be intervened and stopped in the middle – straightaway. If you can simply no longer tolerate your date, and you can’t control your date’s behavior, there is a way where you can end gracefully and humanely, without both parties feeling bad for themselves. So, how do you end a bad date in the middle without being rude or harsh?

First, remember anyone can have a bad day. Sometimes your date isn’t acting nice because he or she is having a bad day or in a bad mood. People also act badly when they’re having personal problems that are causing them a lot of stress. So, instead of investigating why your date is not acting the way you wanted or being rude, just start the process to dismiss the date. Well, if you two click somehow, you can reschedule and give your date a second chance. But, for now, just end it.

Second, when you end a date in the middle, do it gracefully, even if he or she has been rude to you. If your date has said something that is straightforward ugly, abusive or hurtful, in those rare situations you don’t need to be nice and graceful. In these rare occasions, just say your date that you’re sorry and not interested at the date, and need to leave. Don’t worry too much about hurting your date’s feelings as you can clearly see he or she hasn’t been kind to your feelings either. However, try to end as much as gracefully, and don’t say something like “Go To Hell!” and so on.

Third, don’t end your date quickly, after you’ve decided to end it in the middle. When you realize that the moment has arrived that you can’t tolerate being with your date even for a minute, don’t end it immediately. It might seem uncomfortable to you but wait for ten to fifteen minutes before you leave. Say, you’re in the middle of a meal, finish it first or wait till your finishes it. If you and your date are having a drink, wait until you or both of you finishes. Once they do that, say something like you’re sorry, something just came up and that you’ve to leave. In such a situation, either your date will feel confused or will know that you probably are not interested. Another thing you can do to end the date gracefully is to pay half of all the expenses, whether it’s meal, drink, etc. This is a graceful and respectable gesture on your part, even if your date hasn’t been very friendly and kind to you throughout the date.

Fourth, at the end of the date, don’t say or do anything you don’t want to do. If you happen to leave a date in the middle, it’s downright awkward to say something like, “Goodbye,” let alone share a light kiss or a hug. Once you ended a date in the middle, walk out together, and only say, “Wish you all the best”or“It was nice meeting you,” or “Have a nice day or night.” Saying this implies that your date knows very well that you will never see him or her again. But the good thing is you both have ended the date with a nice note.

When you’re looking for someone, you might come across a few bad dates. It’s nothing serious as bad dates are a part of the dating process. The key is ending the date kindly, gracefully and without holding any grudges against each other.