All posts by Dating Guru

Seven Reasons Why Good Relationships Come To an End

Most people think that only bad relationships come to an end, but do you know that even good and healthy relationships can also die. Breakups aren’t easy, and if it was a great relationship, that's even worse, and both people in that relationship will find it very hard to cope and move on. But, the reasons why good relationships can end are surprisingly quite evident, and not hard to decode.

Here are seven most common reasons why good relationships end:

Long Distance Relationships

Maintain long distance relationships can sometimes be very frustrating, especially if one partner in the relationship is very emotional. So, regular communication is the key and to keep this relationship intact; you need to keep the communication flowing. When that stops, then an invisible barrier start to appear and this can lead to the demise of the relationship eventually.

Your Partner’s Real Self Get Exposed

Most people in their first dates, tend to overcompensate and in most cases, don’t reveal a lot of their actual personalities. But, if you have been in a relationship for four to five months or even longer, you come to know a lot of your partners’ true personality and characteristics. This is a crucial moment of any relationship as this relationship can end up in a breakup or take the relationship to the new beginning. This is why it’s critical to take some time to get to know the person you are dating very well.

Dishonesty and Untrustworthy

Trustworthiness and honesty are the cornerstones to have a long-lasting and meaningful relationship. Any relationship that lack trust and honestly won’t last very long. That’s why cheating and flirting with other people while being in a relationship is a total no-no.

Avoid Responsibilities

When people first start dating, they put a lot of effort in impressing and gaining the trust and compassion from their partners. But once things get settled down, they stop putting any fresh energy or thought into advancing their relationship or taking any long-term responsibilities. This is a fatal mistake. Both partners must dedicate more time, energy, share responsibilities, and have date nights and so on before the relationship ends.

Too Much Criticism Creeps In

A relationship won’t flourish if you only criticize and argue with one another, even over less important issues. The relationship will only thrive if both persons in a relationship support each other, focus on each other’s common interests, and build their relationship on it.

You have different Interests and views

You and your partner have different interests and different perspectives on important aspects of life like religion, parenting, social issues, financial responsibility, and so on. You always find both of you nitpicking on each other interests, views, and other activities. In short, you don’t complement each other. If you want to have a happy relationship, it’s wise to be with a partner whose interests and views are closely related to your own. For example, if you five or six interests are in a relationship with someone who has shares at least two or three of them.

Your Partner Have Unrealistic Expectations

We all have our own personalities, qualities, and flaws. So, focusing on our best qualities that will bring the best of us should be the goal of any relationship. You won’t find “prince charming” or “the perfect girlfriend” on planet earth and that’s the reality.

So, there you have, being in a relationship is no easy task. Every relationship requires hard work, patience, compromise, mutual understanding, and respect. Without it, it doesn’t matter how good two individuals in a relationship are, or how good a relationship seems to be; it’s bound to end.

5 Things to Avoid to Have a Long-lasting Relationship

Everyone wants to have a lost-lasting relationship, but many relationships break up because either partner has done something deliberately or unknowingly. Breakups are painful, and its take a lot of emotional and physical toll on lives. So, if you want a relationship that will last, here are five things you need to quit:

1. Stop thinking that your relationship will end or won’t last. If you are having a relationship and keep assuming that the relationship is doomed, then it will. If you genuinely believe that you don’t have a chance to have a meaningful and long-lasting relationship, you will always attempt to sabotage every relationship you get into to end it. For example, you will always show your partner every possible bad behavior that he or she can imagine, so they will have no choice but to leave the relationship.

2. Avoid playing games with your partner. When your partner ask you how you are feeling like, happy or sad, respond to it honestly and in a loving tone. Don’t be rude, yell, or do anything obnoxious that will propel your partner to break up with you. Be supportive, talk to each other, share your happiness and sadness, and don’t manipulative, or demonstrate bad reactions or emotions. Always try to communicate respectfully.

3. Don’t think that only love is enough. Couples who are in a lost-lasting relationship, have more than just love, it’s about supporting and caring about each other in the good and bad times. Love is an attraction, but it’s the commitment, respect, attachment and being joyful in each other company, that makes the relationship last. If you see these qualities in your relationship and your partner likes them, wants to be with you, then you got a relationship that’s worth holding on to.

4. Stop being jealous. Trust, loyalty, and respect are the cornerstones of a long-lasting relationship. Jealousy is possessive demeaning to a relationship. If you can’t fully trust your partner, why did you think of dating them in the first place? If your partner is loyal and faithful, but you have your own issues about getting rejected or dumped in your past relationships, then its time you get your acts together. You don’t have any right to destroy someone else’s esteem with your own feelings of insecurity and baggage. If you are in a relationship, where you find your partner is jealous, and you aren’t doing anything to counter it, then it’s time you end this relationship.

5. Quit thinking your happiness depends on others. The honest truth is you are solely responsible for your happiness. Make friends, travel the world, and get that promotion at work that you duly deserve, eat healthy, be fit and be happy. People want to have the relationship with people who are happy, joyous and content with their lives. So, if you are in a dysfunctional relationship, that’s stopping you from enjoying your life and being happy, quit that relationship. Be with people who loves and wants to be with you for the best reasons.

The takeaway here is no one wants to be in a relationship with someone who is miserable, sad, lonely and desperate. The more self-fulfilled you are, the more you care about yourself, the more people want to be with you, and have a relationship with you.

7 Things Not To Do While Going Through a Breakup

All breakups sting, whether you and partner have decided to separate consciously after dating for a few months or ended a five-year-old relationship. Or just you were dumped mercilessly out of the blue. After any breakup comes to the healing process, and there are both healthy and wrong ways to cope with the grief. These bad ideas will postpone your healing and make it harder for you to move on, take hold of your life and find a new partner.

So, while mourning the demise of you relationship, make sure you follow these advices:

1. You just broke up and it feels like the whole life is falling apart. Crying will let your sorrow out. So, cry. There nothing shameful to cry. Mourn your breakup. Being hurt, angry, or humiliated is okay. Write your feelings a journal. Surround yourself with close family members and friends for support. You don’t need to cry at work, but spend some time alone and be honest with yourself.

2. Being friends with your ex after a breakup is a bad idea. So far, we don’t find any breakups that lead to a lasting friendship with your ex-partner. Don’t be friends with your ex yet, unless you have moved one and found someone new to date.

3. Don’t talk or communicate with your ex in any way or form. You just ended your relationship, but if you can’t resist to talk or communicate your ex about your breakup, or something important to tell to your ex. It can be that you need to return some of their belonging from your place or deal with shared lease or even pet dog. Don’t do it and resist the urge to communicate in any form. It’s important for you to move on.

4. Seeking retribution will only make things worse. Remember breakups are nobody’s fault. So, don’t do anything like steal his or her dog, or thrash their cars, or anything, that will lead to you in Legal troubles. Seeking revenge only fuels anger and hatred, which will only delay your healing process and to move on.

5. Stalk your ex on social media isn’t only bad it’s illegal too. When going through a breakup, using Facebook and the social media sites can be counterproductive. If you still want to use it, follow two rules, don’t post anything about your breakup online and don’t ever stalk your ex, no matter how much you want it. Also, remove your ex from your friends list as well, even if you don’t want to.

6. Don’t give up on finding love again. Don’t let a breakup take all of your hope away to ever finding love again. Take care of yourself and focus on things you always liked to do, but didn’t have the time and drive for, and pursue them with a passion. Spend time with your family and dearest friends for support and care. Refocus on your life goals. Love isn’t like a bullet that can only be shot once.

7. Don’t of reconciling with your ex after what happened between you two. Don’t beg for him or her to return in your life. Deep inside, you know very well that it’s not worth at all to be in a relationship where you have to beg him/her to be with you.

The takeaway here is to learn what you can from a relationship that just ended and keep moving forward. Don’t give up on never finding the perfect one and be grateful that the end of the relationship that wasn’t meant for you.

3 Signs to Look For If Your Date Will Cheat On You

Do you know, when someone cheats, there is always some visible signs at the beginning? But, how can you identify those signs? How can you be sure that the person you’ve been dating isn’t cheating on you? Well, there are no simple answers. If you have been dating someone for five or six months or even longer, it’s pretty safe to tell that you know that person good enough.

Judging by the personalities, you can have a sense that if you can trust his person or not. The Sad story is, most people still continue with their relationships even after they suspect them cheating on them.

So, to be sure, look out for these particular traits, trust your instincts, and end the relationship soon, and protect yourself from getting emotionally burned.

Your Partner has a history of Cheating

A simple way to find if your partner will cheat on you or not in this relationship is to see if he or she has cheated in the past in a previous relationship. You won't find this at the beginning, but the information will eventually come out. Some people have cheated in the past but regretted and won’t do it again, but some individuals will do it again if they have been unfaithful in the past. So, before you decide to take your relationship any further, both of you should have a serious conversation about it, if your new date of partner has a similar story.

Your Partner Flirts With Other People, Even In Front of You!

This is very common found in most couples, and millions of men and women do it. There is little harm if your partner checks out other attractive men and women outside, but if he or she flirts with people in front you, then we have a problem. This proves that this individual wants attention, and there is the high probability that this person will take their flirting to fully fledged sexual contact if you are absent in the scene. To have a monogamous long-term relationship, it’s a must that you ask your partner not to flirt with anyone in front of one another. If you partner found hard to honor that rule, it’s time that you terminate the relationship soon.

You Partner Is Unavailable For Hours or Unreachable By Phone

If you notice your new partner or date often disappears during the day or evening without any reason, and is unreachable for hours, it’s an indication that he or she might be cheating. There is no problem someone can’t be reached for an hour or two, as that person might be shopping or at the gym. But if an individual can’t be contacted for a few hours, particularly at night, it points that he or she is cheating. Have a conversation with your new date and frankly tell him or her that their sudden absence makes you insecure and anxious. However, keep in mind, even after the conversation this type of behaviors doesn’t stop, then it’s time to consider leaving this relationship.

It’s advised that if you think that your new date or partner is cheating, be sure that your suspicions are based on real facts, not paranoia. Most people don’t want to believe that their new partners are cheating, but if your intuition tells you, then probably there is something wrong. If you sense that a new person you’re dating is cheating on you, end the relationship soon before you go deeper.

Five Rules to Use Social Media after a Breakup

So, it’s just been a week you have broken up with your partner, and you can’t resist the urge to have a glimpse of your ex partner's Facebook page. It’s okay that you can’t restrain yourself; after all break ups are hard and make us angry, upset and humiliated. So, just checking out his or her Facebook won’t be harmful, right?

Well, it’s not that simple. According to a study, it’s been found that the more time one spends on his/her ex’s Facebook page after a breakup, the more emotional distress he or she will feel, and the desire to reconcile with their ex’s increases. It's not encouraging as it makes the whole process of healing even harder after a breakup. In fact, it's straightforward unhealthy and toxic to us psychologically as we always think, talk and look at the pictures of our ex-partners. This can morph into stalking, which is in some cases, harmful.

So, here are five rules to use social media after a break up:

1. Never stalk your ex online. Don’t check your ex’s Facebook page or Twitter feeds. The best to do is that to consider un-friending him or her, or unfollowing them. Otherwise, even if you don’t look at your ex’s page, you will still see their status updates. Also, un-friend all of your ex’s friends and family members. Also, don’t even try being friends with your ex’s new found boyfriend or girlfriend. Many newly single people fall for this, but this is a just recipe for disaster.

2. Avoid posting anything of your former partner online. This can be one of the main causes of trouble. If you want to have a conversation with a friend about your ex, that fine, just don’t use any social media sites.

3. Consider canceling or deactivating your Facebook or other social media accounts. If you think you can’t stay away, forget or can’t resist having a conversation or stop thinking about your ex, then remove yourself from all types of social media websites including Facebook. We know this is hard, but it’s ideal for your healing process after a breakup.

4. Use social media or online dating platforms to meet new people. If you haven’t deleted your social media accounts, then maybe it's time to put it to some good use. We suggest you try online dating sites to meet people and hopefully be in a new relationship. Don’t feel shy to tell people that you are single online. There is nothing disrespectful or unfair about it, even for your ex. You are fully entitled to move on and begin as new.

5. Ignore all types of posts online that is directed to you. It’s quite normal for your ex, their family and friends posting things that might be addressed towards you. Even if you are entirely sure about it, don’t make a big fuzz about and don’t respond to it. Forgive your ex-partner and don’t be angry with him or her. Taking the high road is always better and practicing it will make you happy.

So, that’s it, keep tabs on you ex won’t bring him or her back into your life. If you want to be happy and move on, unfriending your ex is the best option.

10 Signs to Know it’s Time for You to Break Up

No one likes to break up. These experiences are awful, full of pain, and bring tremendous physical, mental and emotional consequences of you, which can be hard to cope. That’s why dating is all about —to find out if two people have the qualities and characteristics that are compatible with each other. If not, there aren’t many options other than the couple to end the relationship. Sometimes, we can be right, and at times we are not, even after the relationship has all the signs of it having no future.

Here are ten indicators to look out and if you notice most of them, then it’s time to break up and move on:

1. You begin to feel that you don’t get that loving feeling if you see him or her like at the beginning. It appears that the fire and sparks have disappeared and the chemistry between you two isn’t just there.

2. Your closest friends and family members are telling you that something is wrong in this relationship. It’s wise to pay some concern into this as these folks only want the best for you. However, always trust your intuition when you decide to end the relationship.

3. Honesty, respect, and trust are holding a relationship together. If you think your partner isn’t entirely honest towards you or questioning his or her trustworthiness, then it’s better for you to break up.

4. You have realized that you and partner have different missions and goals and even you both are good people, they don’t complement each other. So, before you two get hurt, it’s best to move on.

5. You start to question your partner’s emotional health. You find your partner is narcissistic, very self-absorbed, get angry easily, paranoid and sometimes very defensive. All these indicate that your partner isn’t mentally capable of handling a relationship or be married. It’s time for you to break up.

6. Both of you have different perspectives on important aspects of life. You two significantly differ on the topic like religion, social issues, parenting, financial responsibility, and so on. If you want to have a happy relationship, it’s best to be with a partner whose views are closely related to your own.

7. You two have different interests and don’t complement each other. If you have four or five interests, it’s wise to have a relationship with a person who shares one or two of them. Enjoying the same hobbies and activities together will make your relationship stronger.

8. You find that your partner is very much attached to his past and unwilling to get over them and move on. You see that your partner is always talking about their exes, their past achievements or is held back by his old buddies. If that is the case, leave this relationship.

9. It’s natural if your partner is attracted to other men or women. But if you found that your partner is frequently checking out other people, even with you in front of him or her, then it might be that your partner lacks something in you.

10. You can’t resolve conflicts with your partner. You and partner are always arguing and fighting even over things with no importance. You don’t feel supported, and you are unable to communicate with him or her, and unable to solve problems in a mutually amicable manner. This is why most relationships fall apart because conflicts remain unsolved.

So, there you have the ten reasons that should indicate if you want to be in this relationship or not. If any or most of these signs resonate with you, then it’s in your best interest that you break up before it’s too late.

10 Ways to Deal with Your Partner Who Is Losing Interest in You

couple-1210023_960_720Two people come together for many reasons; it may be physical attraction, emotional connection, similar interests and so on. The closer and intimate you and your partner got together over the weeks and months, both of you came to know each other better, and there was a positive vibe everywhere. But, now you have found for some reason your significant other has started losing interest in you. The person whom you are in so much love with has been distancing himself/herself from the relationship or looking for something different. If you still figuring out on how to deal with this then start here:

1. Don’t be a mind reader. Refrain yourself from trying to figure out every little gesture or comment to find out your partner’s interest level in you. No matter how hard you try, you can never know what’s going on a person’s mind. Period.

2. Consider this as a temporary confusion phase. Emotions are unpredictable. Every relationship has its ups and downs. There is the chance your partner is losing interest because he or she confused about the relationship and is trying to evaluate his feelings and his future with you.

3. Reignite your relationship. Most couples complained they lost their interest in each other because the relationship has become dull and predictable. So, try to reinvigorate your relationship and try to find ways to make it exciting and bring new sparks in your romance like before.

4. Don’t overreact. If a partner feels he or she is being neglected, they feel vulnerable and insecure. This is when emotional outbursts are common making the situation even worse.

5. Don’t become extremely responsible. Don’t come to the conclusion that the reason your partner is losing interest is you. It’s has nothing to do with you. So, it’s not your responsibility to “fix” the situation.

6. Give Your Partner Some Space. Don’t get very consumed about the situation. Give your partner some space. I won’t be amazed if your partner has regained interest in you after some time.

7. Ask straight questions. Instead of understanding what’s going on, ask your partner direct questions if you think someone is losing interest. Make it clear you demand an honest answer.

8. Control how you respond. Be honorable in how you react. Don’t break any boundaries, and don’t hesitate to communicate your feelings and needs with your partner.

9. Never Underestimate your worth. Your partner losing interest has nothing to do with you and your worth. The value you hold as an individual isn’t diminished one bit just because a person has decided to break up with you.

10. Move on. You are the architect of your future. It’s you to decide what best for you and your future. So, if you partner is losing interest in you, then the best possible action would be to end the relationship and move on.

Relationships evolve and change over time. So, you can spot them other can’t. These indications will surely help those folk to find out if their partner is losing interest in them and find out way on how to resolve them.

How to Know When to Break Up Relationship

sadnessLet’s admit it: breaking up sucks!

You have been in a relationship for a few months or even years—but now you feel the relationship has lost steam lately. Now, questions keep popping up in your mind like, “Do I want to be in this relationship?” or “Do I need to break up to be happy?” The fact is, breaking up isn’t easy and factors that go into making this decision aren’t always black and white.

According to Dr. Paul Hokemeyer, a marriage and couples therapist says only 5 percent of couples end their relationship with a 100 percent conviction, while the rest have reached their decisions after struggling for months and even years. Most these couples or looking for a cause or want to their partners to call it off. Some couples are waiting for something very atrocious like cheating to happen, in which there aren’t any option isn’t left but ending the relationship for good.

If you think that there is no future in the relationship, then perhaps it’s best to break up. Here are five factors that will let you know if it’s time to end the relationship.

You Prefer To Be Alone

There are sometimes when all you want to be alone instead of being with your partner. Well, it’s perfectly reasonable if this happens once a while. We all want some space in our lives. But if you feel like this most of the time, and make excuses to be away from your partner, or makes plans on purpose, then it’s a problem. If you feel that you’re totally fine and don’t want to spend time with your partner, then you should consider breaking up.

You Feel Unhappy When You’re With Your Partner

If you think you aren’t happy like before and spend too much time complaining to your friends and others about your spouse, then time have come for you to move on. Remember, it’s not your partner's responsibility to make you happy, but being together in a relationship should make you happy.

You Aren’t Having Fun

If you and your partner are always arguing and fighting even over trivial matters all the time, then it’s a clear indication that you two need to break up. A relationship can’t blossom on arguing with your partner. It can only flourish and advance if both of you are having fun (like going to parties or concerts) and enjoying each other’s company.

You’ve felt this in Other Relationships

If you think you have been falling for the wrong person again and again, and breaking up for this, then you should consider taking therapy. Therapy will help you in identifying relational pattern problems and using those patterns to stay or end a relationship. If you see that this pattern isn’t good for your well-being or your life, then you can end a relationship.

You Can’t Forget the little or Big Things
In the beginning, you tolerated that your partner leaves their clothes all over the place, or drinks too much, thinking that they would change as the relationship advances. But over time, if you find that you are unable or tolerate certain behaviors, and going to resent them, then it's time to end the relationship.

There is some truth to the saying that some relationships are worth holding onto. We aren’t denying that and always say communication is the key when it comes to salvaging troubled relationships. When that doesn’t bear any results, then breaking up is the only option.

Breakups Aren’t That Hard You Think

beach-1846233_960_720We all can agree on one thing: Breakups are painful. A study has found that people who recently had breakups when looking at pictures of their ex-partners have the same brain activity as those who are in physical pain. Ending a relationship with a partner is more like losing a close friend. They have known you better than anyone else; you have both shared and enjoyed wonderful feelings and emotions, and memorable experiences with them.

Now, that you are ending things with him/her makes you very upset and lost. What’s even worse is that you can no longer call that person for comfort and support if you’re going through a bad time.

No matter how gut-wrenching these breakups feel, researchers say that breakups might be easier than you think and newly single people will move on sooner than they think. This is according to Dr. Paul Eastwick, who conducted a questionnaire survey of students who are in a relationship for at least two weeks. In the survey, the participants indicated how much in love were they with their partners and how sad would they feel if they ended the relationship.

Every other week the participants would receive new questionnaires and each time they were asked if they were still with their partners. Students who broke up in the meantime had their distress levels measured in a specially designed assessment system. For example, the participants were asked how much they agreed with statements like, “I’m pretty happy these days,” and “I’m very upset that my relationship ended.”

The researchers concluded that the students who said that they were in love with their boyfriends or girlfriends at the beginning of the experiment weren’t good at predicting how distressed they would be after the breakup. But later they found that it was much easier to deal with the breakup than they thought it would be.

Many of us assume that breakups are harder on the victim, rather on the person who initiated to end things, but that’s not the case. Dr. Eastwick’s research has found that participants who decided to end the relationship also felt as bad as those who didn’t. The main difference was, the people who ended the relationship predicted their recovery time accurately, while the victims of the breakup thought they would worse off than they were. However, all of the participants agreed on one thing that the pain of the breakup will gradually reduce in time, and they were correct. All this point that it’s true that breakups are painful but recovering from this unfortunate event isn’t as hard and takes less time which most people didn’t anticipate.

The bottom line is knowing when to breakup is as important as deciding when to get involved in a relationship. There isn’t any relationship that didn’t go hard times and breaking up is just a part of the deal. After all, there is hardly any point in wasting time on something that’s won’t make us happy or feel worthy in our life.

4 Unrealistic Expectations People Have About Dating

The fact is many relationships end because one or both persons in a couple failed to realize their expectations or have unrealistic ones, to begin with. So, what happens when couples in a relationship don’t get their expectations met? They become unhappy and think of a breakup. Therefore, it’s wise to know what to expect in a relationship before you be in one.

Here are four unrealistic expectations men and women have in a relationship and which are also responsible for its demise as well.

Being in a Relationship Will Make Me Happy

Believing that you will be happy and complete in you’re in a beautiful relationship is an overstatement on your part and edging towards fantasy. It’s totally understandable of your belief that if you be in a meaningful and loving relationship and provide you what you’ve been missing, but it doesn’t always work that way. It’s your responsibility to find ways on how to be happy; being in a relationship is just a part of it.

My Partner Will Spend Most of Their Free Time with Me

The idea of couples doing everything and spending time together may sound very appealing, but this riding on this expectation all the time will make you frustrated later. When you start a relationship, if find your partner little dependent on you, it makes sense that he or she would like to spend more time with your or wake up beside you every day. But remember, that your new partner needs some space and would like to socialize with their friends and family or by their own without their special someone present. Remember, being open to this is the key to long-lasting marriages.

My Partner Won’t Flirt With Anyone

You have to accept the truth that your partner will be attracted to other people besides you and when you aren’t there. So, what about flirting? Do you think that your partner will stop flirting when you are in a relationship? The answer is sad, “no”. But you can set some rules, like tell your partner not to flirt with anyone when you’re present, but also that won’t be able to tell them to stop when you aren’t in front it. In reality, a lot of men and women will flirt anyhow, if you aren’t there.

I Am Going To Have a Lot of Physical Affection in the relationship

Physical affection comes in two types, sexual affection and physical affection, itself. If your partner is very intimate, you will have a very sexual relationship, but most couples aren’t fully into it. If sexual affection is your thing, make sure your partner agrees with it. Regarding physical affection, most men and women aren’t very affectionate, mostly hold hands, kiss or hug now and then. Remember, it’s not their personality. So, if these things are a priority to you, tell your potential partners about it from the start.

The takeaway here is having unrealistic expectations are counterintuitive for a good relationship. When you start going on dates, tell your partner about your expectations and what you want exactly from the relationship from the beginning.