All posts by Dating Guru

How To Get Over Your Ex After Breaking Up, So You Don’t Go Back To Her

Anyone who has been in a relationship is familiar with this. You have ended the relationship with your partner but can’t move on from the painful experience. The whole world tells us to move on, but there is something that is making us stay. We keep yearning for our former lovers, and this has made our lives difficult and unhappy. Moving on after a break up is easier said than done.

If the relationship is new or if you and your girlfriend are still sexually attracted to each other, it’s safe to say that what the two of you are experiencing is an addiction. During that stage, our bodies are filled with natural chemicals that are most often mistaken for love. In fact what we are feeling is lust or infatuation. It can cloud our ability to make better judgments and will compel us to make decisions that might become disastrous later in the relationship. If you see that you don’t have that extreme passion for your partner which you had during the early days of dating, but you still feel stuck, you will have to look deeper within yourself and get rid of the ties that are binding you. Why? Because it will help you to get over your ex and find new love again.

All of us carry unresolved experiences from the past. They have manifested deep within ourselves and defined who we are as individuals. These unresolved experiences could range from past relationships to early family life. If we don’t address these old hurts or ignore them, we might continue to have unhealthy patterns in our lives that won’t do us any good. You might believe that you have moved on from your ex-girlfriend who broke up or left you without any good reasons, but your body didn’t forget it. It’s still there somewhere. It’s just that you can’t find it. It’s important for you to get over your ex as this will prevent you to return to her, and move on with your life.

So, how can you get your ex and move on? First, consider taking a break from dating. We suggest that you avoid dating for at least a month. During this time take steps in rebuilding your confidence by getting involved in physical activities such as sports. Take care of yourself, treat yourself with gifts, take a vacation, do something that you always wanted to do, and so on.

The second thing you can do is get rid of the anger. It’s okay for you and your partner to feel angry and resentful. But, the things both of you have made mistakes which have compelled both of you to end the relationship. So, calm down and let go of the anger. Now forgive each other. Forgiveness fosters humility, gratitude, and understanding between two people. Forgiveness will help you both of you to forget the differences among you which will help you to find new love again.

When we love someone deeply, we find ourselves obsessed with our former lovers after a breakup. This unhealthy and it will not help you to get over your ex and move on. So, to make things easy for you create a list of your ex’s faults, look at the list and ask yourself why things she did wrong and why she isn’t the right person for you. Now, try to forget them slowly and try to fall in love again.

Every Couple in Happy Relationships Have These 4 Types Of Intimacy

Intimacy in relationships is easily misunderstood and complicated both for new lovers and to those who are in committed relationships. Most couples have admitted that they have misinterpreted and misunderstood the motives and desires of their partners at times. The definition of intimacy and what it really means is different for every person, and it’s common to see incorrect assumptions between partners when it comes to intimacy in relationships. The thing to remember is that those discrepancies can severely affect the outcomes and expectations partners have each other in the relationship.

Here are the four different four kinds of intimacy people need in a relationship, and the lack of anyone of these can rock the foundation of the relationship:

  1. Physical Intimacy

Most people associate intimacy in a romantic relationship with physical touch. This kind of intimacy is the easiest to talk about because both partners are familiar with it. But, despite it, we have found that couples, both new and established, aren’t able to communicate honestly about it with each other, especially sexual intimacy. The main reason here is that they are afraid that talking about it offend or make the other partner feel uncomfortable. As a result, many couples lack a strong physical connection with their partners. We have found couples who honestly talk about their physical intimacy have a strong bond with each other, in spite of some issues in other parts of their relationship.

  1. Emotional Intimacy

Emotional intimacy is an essential basis for trust and comfort in a relationship. The importance and role of emotional intimacy to have a healthy, happy relationship must precede any other intimate connection. Emotional intimacy in the relationship can be nurtured if a partner tracks, understands, and supports the emotional experience of the other partner. Emotional intimacy ensures that all other intimate interactions in the relationship are safe. Only through emotional intimacy that a couple can genuinely understand, accept and support each other.

  1. Mental Intimacy

When couples can share their most intimate thoughts, emotions, feelings, motivations, and inspirations, they can create an environment that makes them feel like they are living in each other’s minds. When partners feel that their ideas, views, and opinions genuinely matter to the each other, they become more open and more vulnerable.

  1. Spiritual Intimacy

Spirituality is the belief that there is something greater than you and that kind of faith humbles and enriches the human spirit. Spirituality is all about what gives you meaning and purpose in life, and how would you share it with the person you love. Couples, who are in committed relationship, should be motivated and they should motivate each other to practice spiritual intimacy as it will help them to attain solidarity and closeness, which they can’t achieve in other intimate way or any other way. The best place to do it under a waterfall in a beautiful and serene forest or a place of worship. While practicing spirituality, it is crucial to capture an ordinary sense of wonder, while feeling protected and inspired at the same time.  When both partners understand and can intimately communicate each other's thoughts and feelings, they can to respond to each other’s needs and wants more accurately and quickly.

Always Choose A Relationship Therapist That’s Right For You

If you are having issues in your relationship, choosing to see a relationship therapist is a courageous decision. The sooner you seek help from a relationship therapist the better, given the fact some couples wait up to six years before they decide to see a therapist. Studies also show that the sooner you take assistance from a relationship therapist the better are your chances of having a good result. But, many couples find it challenging on how to choose a relationship therapist or a couple’s therapist that right for them.

There are two ways to find a good relationship therapist:

  1. Ask someone you know and trust for a referral. This person can be a friend, coworker, doctor or your attorney, who is already in relationship therapy or had one in the past and had good results.
  1. Search online. Many directories list relationship therapists. But, we recommend you check Find A Therapist or Psychology Today, The National Registry for Marriage Friendly Therapists and so on.

Once you've chosen a relationship or couples therapist, there are some specific things you need to focus on in the first appointment.

  1. You should feel safe and comfortable with the therapist’s behavior and personality. He or she should be warm, welcoming and friendly. He or she shouldn’t make you feel at ease and not stress you out. He or she should be reassuring and confident and help you to improve your relationships and resolves the issues. Plus, a relationship therapist should also be able to explain about his or her work process and what you can expect. The therapists should be capable of answering all of your questions.
  1. Your relationship therapist apart from helping in resolving your relationship problems; should also help you to move forward. He or she should be compassionate and caring to you and your partner. He or she should be active in trying to help and should have the ability to communicate clearly with the both of you. The therapist should effectively structure and design the sessions so that the two of you feel safe and held. A good therapist will challenge both of you about your contributions or role in the problem without bias. The therapist should take into consideration your cultural upbringing, gender, and religious beliefs before giving out any relationship advice. He or she should be well-aware of problems like depression, anxiety, substance abuse, anger or any kind of illnesses.
  1. Bear in mind that relationship therapy is not a quick fix in general. Relationship therapy also doesn’t take as long as individual therapy, and within just 4-6 sessions, it’s expected that you will have a much better understanding of your relationship with your significant other. Within that period you will notice that your communications skills are better than ever which it necessary to experience deeper connection and intimacy with your partner. However, if you see that your relationship is in a much bigger crisis than what you previously anticipated, you and your spouse can opt for longer sessions. And despite expressing your concerns and having all the required sessions, if you still see the difficulties in your relationship, it might be that this relationship therapist is not right for you and you need to for a new one.

How To Find That Person You Want To Have An Exclusive Relationship With

Seeing reality TV shows such as The Bachelor and The Bachelorette still going strong, as a culture, we have turned the search for true love into a competition, entertainment, and a game. But, what really we need to know about what actually happened after the two people found each other. We need to follow the stories and examples of other successful couples of what it takes to make love last in the long-term.  We need to know how they stay in committed and monogamous relationships, and how they grow and thrive in their relationships.

Here are some relationship talks on how to find the person you want to have a monogamous relationship with:

Do it for yourself

You can’t have a monogamous relationship because that’s what your parents or your friends or your partner want. You have to decide for yourself of what kind of relationship do you want. Pinpoint your own reasons for wanting to be monogamous. It might be religious or spiritual, may be you want to be loyal to your spouse, or you just want to be committed in your relationship for your personal growth. Maybe you are curious to discover what can happen to you if you focus all of your love and affection on one woman. Regardless of what the reasons are if you want your monogamous relationship to be healthy and successful in the long-term, it’s important to take responsibility for your choice and learn how to locate the person you want to have an exclusive relationship with. Remember, monogamy isn’t the only choice you are left. You made a choice because you wanted it. Be yourself and ask for what you want.

Be careful in choosing your partner

Many people decide to have a monogamous relationship because they happened to meet someone who felt decent and is looking for a monogamous relationship, too. This is the right approach for choosing a partner to be in a long-term monogamous relationship. If you are committed to staying monogamous, you need to find a woman who inspires you, shares your sense of humor, and has a positive, profound effect on your body, mind, and heart in many ways. If you are in a relationship and begin to compare your girlfriend with others and keep thinking that it would if she was different in this way or that way, it’s safe that you aren’t fully ready to be in a monogamous relationship.

Understand your own sexual desires

We live in a culture that is obsessed with beauty and attractive people. No matter how appealing or attractive your girlfriend is, you will desire other girls out there. Dedicating your love and sight to only one person doesn’t seem realistic. Our culture encourages you to see others and other people to see you. You must be absolutely honest about a monogamous relationship, and make sure no matter how attractive, or sexual other women are around you, you will shift your focus back to your partner. And that can happen is if you learn how to respond to your own sexual desires in ways that feel right to you.

Get Out From Your Relationship If You See These 3 Signs

Most people have a sense of what a toxic or dysfunctional relationship feels like. But, sometimes it can be challenging to recognize those signs when they surface in your relationship for the first time, even for couples who have already been in romantic relationships in the past.

In any relationship, there are two main components, physical attraction, and chemistry. But, a romantic relationship is more than just physical attraction and chemistry. Real and sincere relationships inspire joy and are everlasting. In a committed relationship, there is a commitment to the relationship, good communication, mutual consensus and understanding and shared goals. It doesn’t matter if there is a lot of chemistry if these four crucial elements are missing, having a healthy and satisfying relationship will be difficult for you. Dissatisfaction in the relationship will result in conflicts and struggles, which will ultimately make the relationship toxic and will make you unhappy.

Here are three crucial signs of a toxic relationship and if you see anyone of these or all of these signs, it’s time for you to get out of the relationship:

  1. You always try to please your partner to feel loved

Ask yourself are you trying too hard to get your partner to love you, give you attention, acceptance, and approval? This is pretty common in us as since our childhoods we have been told by others to please our parents, siblings, and other people to earn these kinds of “rewards.” Eventually, you become a “pleaser,” and you start to please your spouse so that you can feel being loved or desired. Making someone happy at the expense of yourself will cost you dearly in the long run. This type of attitude will expose your low self-esteem, low confidence, insecurities, and your fear of losing the relationship. Becoming a “pleaser” in the relationships is very exhausting both physically and emotionally. What’s more damaging is that your spouse will have control and power over you in the relationship. Also, it’s a sure way for you to lose your personality and identity in the relationship because you will soon see that you can’t make yourself or your partner happy. This will drain you physically and emotionally and will build up anger and resentment within you.

  1. You feel lonely and lost in the relationship

Almost all of us at some point felt alone in our existing and past relationships. It’s an indication that you don’t feel desired or included in the relationship. Your significant is doing his or her thing and you yours, they work for long hours, they attend recreational and social activities without you, etc. Love is all about inclusion. So, if you are noticing more exclusion than inclusion from your girlfriend or boyfriend, it means that they don’t like you enough or stopped loving you. If this is the situation in your relationship, its big red flag and it points that you are in a toxic relationship.

  1. You lose yourself

If you are the “pleaser” in the relationship, and your partner is someone who is selfish and doesn’t include you in his or her life, it will cause you to lose yourself in the relationship. Slowly, consciously or unconsciously, you will sacrifice your own happiness, self-worth, and freedom to keep the relationship intact. It points that you are in a toxic relationship, and the best thing you can do is to get out of it.

9 Worst Lies Women Ever Told Their Husbands

We all tell lies, even the very best of us. If someone says that they are 100 percent honest in their relationships or marriages, they are lying 100 percent of the time. We can’t be saints, and sometimes telling lies is beneficial for the relationship. Just like women also lie in their relationships. We asked some women to tell us what the worst lies they told to their husbands are.

Here are nine of the worst and in some cases, widespread lies women tell to their partners:

  1. I was still having sex with my ex while dating my husband. We weren’t that serious at first, and I was still getting over from my ex-boyfriend. It wasn’t straightforward cheating; it’s just that we didn’t have a label and our relationship didn’t seem exclusive. But, my husband wasn’t seeing anyone else for sure, and that made me feel like a slut. But, I didn’t feel the need to admit it to my husband as he doesn’t need to know about it because it all worked out well in the end and I got really serious and cut my for ex-boyfriend loose for good.
  1. I sold my engagement ring for cash because I had to clear of my outstanding balances on my credit card. I didn’t tell him I sold the ring for money; instead, I said I lost it. I would have never done if I didn’t lose my job and had dues on my credit card.
  1. I wasn't a virgin when I got married to him. My husband thought that I was virgin when we got married. Sure, I was a virgin when I was dating him, but we had a fight and broke up for a while. During that time I slept with someone. But, my husband didn’t know any of it as he never talked about it. Maybe my virginity wasn’t a big deal for him as he assumed that maybe I would wait until marriage. But, that wasn’t the case.
  1. I had slept with a lot of men before I married my husband and he has no idea about it. He knows that I had sex with other men before marrying him, but the number I told him isn’t the real number. The actual number is in the two digits.
  1. I had got an abortion before I married my husband a couple of years ago.
  1. I was having an affair. I had a serious casual relationship for a long time at the end of my first marriage. Until today, I still can’t figure out whether my ex-husband didn’t know about it or just decided to let it pass.
  1. I wasn't taking my birth control when I had my third child. My husband thought that I was on birth control.
  1. I never put my husband in my will, which isn’t that uncommon if you have kids together. However, I included my sister.
  1. I know he's sleeping with his ex. My husband thinks that I don’t know when he is sexting his ex-girlfriend, as I noticed that he’s never in the mood when he’s home with me. But, I know for sure he’s having an affair with his ex, but I am not exactly sure. I also have a feeling that he will break up with me and get back with his ex and marry her.

Myths About Intimacy That Keep You From Being Close To Her

When people talk about intimacy in a romantic relationship most of us think is intimacy in your life is all about finding someone with whom we can have a close relationship with. What if we tell that couples have not been able to have intimacy in their relationship despite the fact that they have found the right lover, partner, or spouse? What if we tell you to establish real intimacy in your relationship, you have to be intimate with yourself in the first place?

Here are three intimacy myths all couples should know about so that both of you can create intimacy in your lives that will help you to have a better connection not only with your girlfriend but with yourself and people around you:

Myth #1: Intimacy is only about sex

Let’s be clear on one thing; we can have sex without intimacy and create intimacy without any sexual activity. This makes us wonder about what are the actual elements of intimacy? Despite what most of you are thinking; sex isn’t one of them. The intimacy we are focusing on here is to have is a level of intimacy with you that will enable you to have a certain degree of kindness, generosity, and care that can’t be disrupted by anyone or by any circumstances. You can’t experience real intimacy unless you are willing to have a higher connection with yourself. An easy way to do that is to express gratitude to your own self. Most men and women tend to self-deprecate and judge themselves. They don’t appreciate and acknowledge themselves.  Start writing down at least three things every day that you are grateful for and feel good about yourself. If you start looking at yourself and your life with gratitude, everything around you will change for the best, which also includes sex!

Myth #2: Intimacy is all about being able to trust someone fully

When we are in love with someone, we often neglect or decide to ignore red flags in our partners with the hope that they will change. We believe that our spouses will do their best to change themselves because they know that we love and care for them a lot. But, what if it never happens? The only you can create intimacy in the relationship is by trusting that our partners will exactly be the same when we first met them. We aren’t telling that people don’t change. What we are actually trying to say here is that if you expect someone to change, it will extremely challenging or even impossible for them to change. You partner is just like you. You can’t control someone, and you can’t expect someone to change just because you want them to change.

Myth #3: Intimacy happens when someone won’t reject you.

We don’t want to get hurt. We are scared to be rejected when it comes to dating and relationships.

That’s why we put up barriers and walls while growing up hoping that it will protect up from the rejection and pain from our past relationships. But that’s not true. When you put barriers up, you can’t have intimacy in your relationships because these walls will lock you and disconnect you from everything making it difficult for you to know the difference between good and bad.

What Makes A Woman Attractive To Men Besides Her Looks?

Let’s make one thing clear: looks matter. If a guy says that he doesn’t care much about a woman’s looks while looking for a partner, he’s lying. They all do, and some care way more about them than they should. However, it’s not always about looks for men. Believe it or not, men do care about things other than looks. In fact, some of the sexiest and beautiful women are single because they have failed to keep a man interested in them.

Besides, it’s not surprising to find guys in serious relationships with women who aren’t their “type” but attracted to them nonetheless. The reality is that men who aren’t fully shallow; it’s easy for women to date them as they can a lot of physical differences.

Here are few things men like about women other than their physical appearances.

  1. Musical Talent

A lot of guys admitted that they became interested in a woman because she can sing and can play a musical instrument. Men are also attracted to girls who are good dancers.

  1. Intelligence

Contrary to popular belief, guys don’t like to date dumb women. To be honest, most men are pretty sick of low I.Q women. However, guys get attracted to women who seem to be intelligent but don’t look pretentious. Men are attracted to women who are unique, and it’s a woman’s intelligence that makes her stand out from the rest.

  1. Kindness And Honesty

Kindness and honesty are among the most desired quality many men and women look for while looking for a potential partner. It’s not surprising to see that most men are complaining that they are finding it hard to meet women who are genuinely kind and altruistic. Also, honesty remains a vital trait to look in a partner, regardless of age. After all, how are you supposed to have a happy, healthy and long-lasting relationship with someone you can trust at all?

  1. Sense Of Humor

Though there are guys who dislike a woman’s sense of humor, the truth is quite the opposite. There are plenty of guys who love a woman who laughs at their jokes and can also make them laugh, too. And guys who don’t like this trait in women are most likely to have ego problems.

  1. Passion

It is true men like to see the passion in their bedrooms, but they also want to date women who are passionate about other things other than sex, marriage, having kids, etc. So, a woman who shows her passion about matters like your job or hobbies has a higher chance of attracting a potential partner and being in a serious relationship with him.

  1. Being Warm and Friendly

A person who is warm, friendly and outgoing has a good chance of attracting a mate. They are exciting and fun to be around, and they are attractive, regardless of their age. And, when guys talk about the girls they like, they aren’t talking about their manners. They are talking about their loving and caring attitude. A woman who has all these great qualities is irresistible to men.

Unlucky In Love?  Follow These Tips To Meet The Love Of Your Life

Are you unhappy in relationships? Are you finding it difficult to be in stable and committed relationships? Are you wondering yourself why your relationships aren’t working out? Are you in a situation where it’s becoming difficult for you to find the right partner? Are you always why are so unlucky in love? If you’re in a position like this, keep in mind that you're not alone. Men and women everywhere have been asking these questions, and it’s important that we find answers to these issues to figure out what is actually going wrong, so we can change our destiny.

Whether you believe in luck, fate, destiny or coincidence, when it comes to finding your soulmate, most of the work needs to be done by you. Here’s how:

Don’t leave it to chance

Most of us have seen it in romantic flicks and read it in love stories, where people met their soulmates by sitting next to them on long bus or plane, or by having an instant connection by bumping into each other at the local coffee shop. But, in real life, it’s a whole different story. So, don't go back to the same coffee shop or bar every night, decline invitations to parties and other events, and try to do something different instead. You can meet new people at are plenty of cool places, and if you don’t consider to give them a try, it’s highly likely you are missing out on meeting some great potential partners.

Transform your look

Love it or hate, when it comes to dating, looks matters. But, that doesn’t mean that you need to make a drastic change to your appearance. Just get some new, trendy clothes, a new hairstyle, etc. But, whatever you do, make sure to stay true to yourself. Keep your personality and identity intact. So, just don’t show up at your date wearing blue jeans and a T-shirt, instead, wear a suit.

Make sure you are comfortable

Women can feel that you are feeling awkward or uncomfortable without talking to you. If going on dates is something new for you, or if you are the kind of a man who has been out of the dating scene for a while, practice. Dress yourself up and go to a restaurant by yourself for a couple of nights. The main purpose here is to feel comfortable with who you are, how you act with the opposite sex on dates, and how you look. It’s okay to feel nervous while going out on a date with a real woman. It's normal to have this feeling if dating doesn’t occur naturally to you. But if you have a high self-esteem and feel confident in yourself and your abilities, you will get surprised so notice more women feeling attracted to you.

While looking for a girlfriend, if you have tried all of these tips and tried really hard and given your best efforts, it’s time for you to take a look inside, if you have still failed to land a partner. Maybe it’s a lack of self-esteem that’s putting barriers along the way. Or it can be that all the tension and stress that’s ruining all of your relationships. If that’s the case, perhaps it’s time you talk to a professional.

Turn Your Crush Into Real Love With These 3 Easy Ways

We all had crushes while growing up; it doesn’t matter whether it was in schools, colleges or at work. When we meet a girl and realize that you have had a crush on him, it feels exciting. We start to think how it will be like to be dating or having a serious relationship with her. You begin to have all sorts of dreams about how your life will change after dating her, marriage, etc. But, before you can fall in love with her, there are some specific things that you need to do to turn your crush into a serious relationship.

So, below are three ways to turn your crush into a committed, long-lasting love:

  1. Laughter

Laughter is the best medicine. Romance will start when you're laughing. Laughing is the first step to make your crush into a reality. If you establish an emotional connection with a woman you feel attracted to through laughter it means that your imaginations are coming together. Take advantage of this excitement of your crush to be yourself and have some fun. Laughing with your crush is an indication that you and your crush are on the same page, and that you’re taking steps to connect.

  1. Conversation

Everything ends. Talks end. But, a romantic relationship is a conversation that never ends. If you want to make your crush to move, start having an engaging conversation with her.  If you are together with your crush, it feels like you are in the other universe. And you can make it real when the both of you talk to each other in that world. The best way to make your relationship real is by giving life to your thoughts and feelings. Connecting with a woman becomes easy when you feel heard and known.

  1. Trust

This is one of the most important qualities men and women look for in a potential partner while looking for a relationship. You can’t have a happy and healthy relationship if there is a lack of trust and honesty between the two partners. Love is expressed by a person’s ability to make and keep agreements. A crush is a gift. Why? Because a crush happens without any effort and planning. When you begin to make agreements, you are on your way to creating something that’s based on trust. It’s as simple and straightforward like calling someone when you say you are going to call or showing up at a place when you say you're going to show up.

When it comes to dating and relationships, a crush is a part of the dating experience. A crush is a sign to show that your heart is awake. Love enables you to invest in one another. Laughter is an indication that you're on the same page with your crush. A conversation that has no end is a sign that you are with someone you can build up a relationship. A guy who can create and keep agreements with you will transform a crush into a relationship that is meaningful, committed and one that lasts.