One of the difficult circumstances a couple can face in a relationship is infidelity. Cheating can destroy a marriage. However, there are also examples when a couple is hopeful of staying in the relationship and taking steps so that it doesn’t happen again. They’re willing to forgive their spouses for their actions, forget everything and move forward in a more passionate and loving way.
Most people suggest that if you think that your partner is cheating on you or can cheat on you, then snooping on him or her would have stopped the person from committing infidelity. However, that’s not entirely true. When it comes to relationships snooping on your partner is ineffective. It’s because snooping on a person breaches his or her privacy and trust. We, humans, are territorial by nature. We want to have our own space. We value and respect the private life of ourselves and others. When someone invades our privacy and takes away what’s ours, we usually react to it strongly and become defensive.
This is why you should never snoop or spy on your partners. If you suspect that your partner is cheating on you, snoop on him or her to find out the details, and later present the “evidence” to your spouse, you won’t expect a positive outcome. Rather, your partner will tell you that you have breached their privacy and trust. They will go into defensive mode and simply deny their actions.
If you’re suspicious that your partner might be having an affair, then instead of confronting them in a defensive manner, have an open conversation about it. Here are few tips how you can get the most from it:
• Have the conversation in a safe and calm place that you both have previously agreed.
• Choose a time that you feel calmed and relaxed enough to have the discussion.
• Start by expressing your fears, insecurities, and concerns, and try to explain why you feel it.
• Be precise about the signs or behaviors of your partner that made you suspicious that he or she is having an affair.
• Step back for a moment, and attentively listen to what your partner has to say.
• Recollect what you’ve heard and understood from your spouse. It will help you to avoid misinterpretation and being confused.
It’s critical that each partner maintains their cool and tone of voice, so both partners get assured that there won’t be any serious fights or arguments over the matter.
However, if you still did some snooping around, and discovered evidence of infidelity of your partner, try to deal with your emotions first, before discussing the subject with your spouse. Ask for support and talk about your feelings with a close and trusted friend, or a therapist. It’s okay to be heartbroken, and it’s important that you acknowledge the pain you’re feeling and how can you deal with it. Eventually, the emotional pain will go away, and you need to cope with it. There are a lot of marriages and relationships that have survived infidelities. Patience, counseling, working hard on rebuilding trust will ultimately bring back the love in the relationship.