If you’re looking for someone, then be careful what you wish for when thinking about your romantic partner. Most men and women become so desperate to be in a relationship that they forget some of the most important qualities and behaviors in a person like similar goals and values, compatibility, etc. If you neglect it, then the result will be pretty obvious, break up!
Some of you might probably have bad experiences with past relationships, where your boyfriend who turned out to be a selfish jerk and eventually cheating on you when you were making marriage plans. It’s unfortunate and heartbreaking, but this time you have the chance to turn things around. Only this time you’ve to lower your expectations. But, the good thing is that the new guy who you’re dating now, have met all your requirements you’ve always wanted.
So, your new man is a nice person, is healthy and well-built, successful, intelligent, handsome, religiously compatible and best part is he wants to get married and have children. After dating for three months, you guy asks you to be in a monogamous and exclusive relationship with you. It’s great! You say yes to him amid high hopes and expectations. You feel happy that you’ve found the man that you’ve been searching for, and the one with whom you can finally have a long-term relationship and settle down.
The following weekend, you both are sitting beside each other on the couch the whole day watching baseball with his friends. Later you out together on the boat and be surrounded by a crowd. Yawn!
So, what did just happen? What happened is that you were so impatient to find someone to love, and put too much emphasis on the externals that you forgot to mention some critical elements. Elements that are essential for any relationship if it is to last and thrive in the long-term.
These important things are;
Is he emotionally available?
Does he like to have one-to-one conversations with you?
And lastly, does he want to spend some alone time with you?
The first one is a persisting one and is recognizable by most people, and is a regular occurrence in every relationship. The last two are not as obvious, but equally as important. Nonetheless, all these can be compressed down to whether if this person knows how to establish a deeper connection with a person. The same questions can also be applied to you. Ask yourself if you’re emotionally available? Do you want to have a one-to-one and intimate conversation with your partner? Are you comfortable to spend to spend alone time with your spouse?
If you’ve answers no to one, or all of them, then it means that you’re emotionally incompatible with your partner. Also, it’s very likely that the relationship won’t last unless you and your partner both work together in resolving these issues.
The bottom line is you should be cautious of what you wish for. In other words, you should be extra precise when you make your list of qualities you want to see in your partner. Sometimes, the universe can be very literal at times. So you might find someone who has all the qualities you wanted, and none of the ones you didn’t ask.