Relationships are already tricky, but when you add kids in to the mix, things get even more complicated. If you're dating someone who has kids, you probably have a lot of questions. Maybe you're not prepared to become a father figure. It's okay to be nervous when you're suddenly placed in a parenting role. Never fear, though. We've got six tips for dating someone with kids that will hopefully make things easier.
1. Approach Things Realistically
Don't expect the situation to be perfect. Kids aren't always easy to deal with. You need to be realistic about your expectations. The kids might be bad. They might totally hate you. This is natural and to be expected. If you go into it expecting things to be perfect, you'll only be let down.
2. Accept That The Kids Are The Top Priority
Never ever ask your partner to make you the first priority when they have children. Your partner's children will always be the first priority and it should stay that way. In fact, if your partner does not consider their children the main priority, then they're a bad parent.
3. Take Things Slow
Children are very sensitive, especially when it comes to a stranger entering their lives. Take things slowly with your partner, so as not to overwhelm the children. Even if you want to have a whirlwind romance, it's probably not the best idea. If things happen too rapidly, it will only end in disaster.
4. Understand That The Kids Have Another Parent
Remember that these kids have another parent, so your partner's ex is always going to be in the picture. This is to be expected and you need to accept it. You should strive to have a good relationship with this person for everything to go smoothly.
5. Don't Try Too Hard To Discipline The Kids
You might feel like you should immediately assume the role as step-parent, but make sure you don't come on too strong. If you are too assertive and start disciplining the kids too much, you may be over-stepping a boundary. Only behave in a way that your partner and the children are comfortable with.
6. Let The Kids Come To You
Like we said before, children are very sensitive. For this reason you shouldn't overwhelm them and smother them with your presence. Don't try so hard to make them like you. Don't consistently bother them and insist that they spend time with you. This will only make them uncomfortable and they will push you further away. Give them space to come to you when they feel comfortable.