Big Lies Therapists Say About Love And Relationships

Let’s make one thing clear: not all advice is good advice. When it comes to love and relationship advice, it’s everywhere: on the internet, in the newspapers, in books, in magazines, etc.  For relationships, in particular, blindly following this advice will leave you at risk of hurting your relationship more than helping it. Of course, not all relationship advice is bad, but you’ve to understand and know what kind of advice is right for you.

However, there is some advice about love and relationship you should stay away from; regardless it comes from friends, the internet or a couple’s therapist, at least in most situations.

Don’t Ever Give Up

There are people everywhere who have adopted resiliency as part of their personality. Usually, this is a good thing. In some circumstances, people should never quit and try their best for accomplishment or resolution. This also applies to marriages and relationships, as most unions can be salvaged. But, there are exceptions. If you’re unfortunate enough to see yourself in an abusive relationship, has no future, or in a relationship where you’ve lost the sense of yourself and pretending to be someone you really aren't,  then leaving this relationship is the smarter and healthier option for you. Not all relationships have a happy ending, especially if they have made you feel miserable and nothing else.

Always Compromise

Almost every relationship advice you hear or read has one word in it: compromise. It is okay to compromise in love and relationships, but compromise isn't always right. At some point in your relationship, you’ll come across a situation, when you’ll have something that is highly important to you. It might a paid vacation to see Paris or a dream job offer, but you notice that your partner may be less excited or thrilled about it. So, for the sake of the relationship, you’ll compromise. But, this isn't good at all. Not everything in life or relationships can be compromised. If you want to move to Florida and your spouse wants you to stay with her in New York, then compromising here will solve nothing by moving to some place close to Florida or New York. You'll be upset your spouse will be unhappy, and compromise will accomplish you nothing. We aren’t telling to avoid compromising altogether or finding a middle ground, but if you compromise about something you feel strongly about, it will only make you miserable and resentful.

Communicate Consistently

Another common relationship advice we always keep hearing about is communication. We are told communication is key for a healthy, long-lasting relationship. Yes, we agree, communication is essential It’s true, sometimes effective communication can save relationships and marriages, but there are also times when you can benefit from a lack of communication. Sometimes you can have a better outcome in your relationship by not talking at all with your partner about the various issues in your relationship. When you are terribly upset, super angry, or hurt in the worst way one can imagine, it’s important to communicate; it may be more fruitful to you by putting it off for a few hours or days, rather than forcefully initiating a conversation.


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