Category Archives: Breakups

Signs You are Trapped in a Troubled Relationship

Sometimes when a person stays alone for a longer period, he/she will want to have someone in their lives to share their laughter, happiness, sorrows pain, etc. At this point of life usually people offer becoming potential partners just because they find you lonely. So what sometimes happens rather making your happiest memories of your life your desires happily ever after life will become happily never after.

Why do people feel trapped in their own relationships? Well, there are many reasons. Some are innocent while other can be harmful. To address the unhappiness in a relationship consider following two keys:

  • You need to assess the situation from both the sides. Are you involved in doing something that is holding back both of you in spending a happy, healthy life? Is there seriously something wrong or it’s just you and your irrational thoughts?
  • You both need to talk to each other. Listen to what your partner has to say, their needs, and their feelings. Express yourself and be honest with each other. If still, it doesn’t seem to work out then it is better to walk away officially and completely.

Signs of a troubled relationship

If you are confused, anxious and unhappy, look for the below-mentioned signs to assess your relationship.

You are not happy

This is the easiest way to evaluate your relationship. If your stress and depression are relation based or you do not feel like coming back to your partner in the evening after work, then there is a serious need of considering your relationship with your spouse.

People do get bored or lose interest. Do not feel bad. Sometimes you just have to get over with something that is not working. Undoubtedly breakups are even harder than the relationships. If you have put in your best but still nothing seems to work out then it is better just to let go and move on.

You have already tried to leave

You already had enough of it and decided to move on, but only the swell up teary eyes stopped you from doing it so. This is called stopping yourself out of pity. What I suggest there is no point of stopping back like this as it will be of no use to stop yourself from living with the person who cannot make you happy.

You are not yourself anymore

If you are unhappy, then examine yourself. Everybody change when they enter into a relationship but if you have become a “Yes man or Yes Woman” type of a person then definitely you are in a troubled relationship. Everyone has the right to voice their opinion and moreover we all need to enjoy relationships rather than acting like dummies.

Your friends and family have noticed the change

If your friend and family start seeing changes in your behavior and moods, it is good to listen to them as they are looking at the situation from the outside perspective. So if you find someone who is very close to you as asks questions related to your partner and the relationship between you two, then it is the time to take a step back and ponder over the entire situation.

What I believe that there is no reason to stay in a relationship that is troubled or disturbing. Either try to fix your problem otherwise it is better to be apart for good.

Signs Your Friends Might Be Destroying Your Relationship

Friends are undoubtedly the most precious of all. They can be the best ones around you. But they can be worst too without getting you noticed about it. Do you frequently shift in your relationship from one person to another? Do you feel like something wrong happens to you all the time when it comes to the relationships? Well, it might be your friend that is messing around with you. Friends are trustworthy but sometimes even your best friend can be your greatest backstabber especially when it comes to love.

So, if you have always fallen apart from seemingly the perfect relationship then perhaps you need to question yourself that what part your friend had played. Mentioned below are the circumstances which can be caused by your best friend that turned out to be your biggest relationship nightmare.

Your date is not the good one

Your friend starts complaining that your friend is not good for you and seems a little ugly. They take you to the level that you're seriously start wondering about your choice. And once reaching to that level, it is not going to be difficult to manipulate your thoughts and feelings.

Friends who constantly require attention

Does your friend always complain about you spending time with your new partner and that they get annoyed about it? They may crash into your romantic date which pisses off your partner. Well, your true friend will always give you the option to choose whatever you want whereas the jealous ones always care about their own enjoyment.

Talking about your past relationships

As discussing past love is always sensitive and one always avoids discussing it. Does your best friend always talk about stuff related to you and your exes when you and your partner are hanging around with friends? Your current partner will never like it.

Friends who make you overlook your love

When you are with your friend and lover, does your friend always try to separate both of you in different conversations or take you to the corners of the room away from your partner? This clearly signals that your friend wants to set you both apart.

Friends who love to flirt with your partner

What can be even worse than your friend flirting around with your partner in your absence? Talking on the phone for hours without giving you any idea then this simply means that your friend wants to you to break up with your lover and enter the picture.

Your friends disrespect your partner

Do you feel that your friend ignores or is disrespectful to your partner while you people are hanging out together? This will reflect badly on you as a lover.

Your friends speaks ill for you

Your friends should be the one who always helps in trying impressing your lover and not the ones who are disrespectful and tries to put you down.

They always show you the worst side of your love

Does your friend always try to show you the worst side of your partner always advises you to break up even on petty issues then they are jealous and want to take apart you from your partner.

Friends may ruin your love for fun or just do this absentmindedly. Whatsoever, rather than hate your friends and losing your lover just keep the circumstances mentioned above in your mind.

Four Things You Need to Consider Before Breaking Up With Your Partner

Many people who are considering to end their relationship are simply too afraid to do it because they are unsure about what the future holds for them. They also feel guilty about leaving their partners and the upset about the emotional scars that comes with breakups. But what if you can end your relationship without any fear or feeling guilty?

Here are four things to consider before you terminate your relationship without feeling remorseful and afraid:

1. You are not living in the past and fearful of a future that’s yet to exist. When you constantly worry about the future, it indicates that you are fully available in the present. It has nothing to do about fear or anything related about unexpected events to happen in the future. It’s our own thoughts that are generating these feeling of fear. We humans can bad at predicting the future, so it’s in our best interests to let go of our fears and what’s going to happen in the future. The right thing to do is to focus fully on the present.

2. You aren’t responsible how other feel, whether its happiness or sadness. If you feel upset and guilty while breaking up with somebody or ending a relationship, it’s the fear that’s telling you to you will hurt the other person. It’s a common misconception that we realize how others feel, but that’s entirely based on the concept we would experience the same feeling, in similar circumstances. The truth is our own thoughts are responsible for our feelings, not action of individuals. You can make anyone feel anything, and no one can make you feel anything too.

3. You are entirely responsible for your own peace and happiness. No one can make you feel happy or peaceful. Most people often struggle with making the right decision, continuously worried about that their own happiness, well-being, and security depends on how an individual feels. But the fact is your peace and happiness depends on your own thoughts, not on any external force or factors. Once you start to realize that, you will feel more confident to end a relationship without feeling guilty or afraid.

4. Your actions don’t define you. Most people in a relationship decide not to leave a relationship, even if they want to, because they believe that it will make them a bad person. They keep on continuing with their unhappy relationships always haunted of being labeled or criticized as uncaring, unforgiving, narcissistic or selfish. Don’t doubt yourself and just because you decided to end a relationship doesn’t define the person you really are. In fact, ending a relationship for someone who you think isn’t compatible with you is the most selfish thing one can imagine. The best possible gesture that says who you really are is setting him or her free to find a partner who really wanted to have a relationship with them, if they aren’t happy of being with you.

The takeaway here is it’s nobody is at fault here when it comes to breaking up or deciding to end a relationship. We are responsible for our own happiness here and if the existing relationship isn’t providing it, then it’s the best intention for both partners to call it quits.

What Is the Most Important Thing to Do After the Breakup?

It appears that couples, who are coming out of bad relationships, all have one thing in common. They all blamed themselves for the demise of their relationship and not doing enough to fix it. Most admitted that they were in the relationship longer that they should had, and always believe there was “one” thing they weren’t doing it right. They also told that if they could have figured it out that “one” thing, maybe they would still be in the relationship. If they don’t find that “one” things, and realize there is no such thing, and the relationship isn’t getting any better, they decide to breakup.

They all are wrong. Whenever they made the well-being of themselves a priority, they would have envisioned that their relationship is a mess, and it wasn’t their fault entirely. So, they deliberately mistreated their partner, pardoned their partners for their mistakes, and when the relationship ends, they have no one to blame but themselves.

So, now most if you will ask, what is the most important thing to do after the breakup?

Well, before you start your journey for a new relationship, there is one very important thing for you to understand. You must know that you are important, your opinions matters, and you should know your standards and values. Ironically, the most important thing in being successful in a relationship is to know how to spend time with yourself, putting your well-being first; and you value yourself as a human.

Before you start having a relationship with someone new, find your hobbies, if you don’t have one, find the things that interest you, and matters to you the most. Cherish all your friendships; get close to your family members and find meaningful and joyous activities that you can call your own when you start seeing someone new.

Dating can be exciting and even intoxicating. You can easily be attracted to someone you like and in return likes you. If you have a breakup in the past, finding someone that care about you seems very caring, attractive and interesting. The experiences can be so intoxicating that when you are all alone all you can think in to be with the person and talk with that person.

However, if you really believe in valuing yourself as an individual, you will try to get away from this romantic intoxication for a while, and spend some quality time with your old friends and closest family members. Always stay true to your life and yourself. Good relationships enrich your life and give it more meaning and joy, while bad relationships destroy it and make you feel miserable. If you want to have a happy, long-lasting relationship, the only way you can have it is by enjoying in being in a relationship with yourself. A good partner just compliments it.

Dating and beginning a new relationship is all about maintaining balance with you, your family and friends, your interests, your hobbies and your new partner. When you are dating someone new, always ensure that you put your happiness first. Take care of yourself physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. Remember, if you want your relationship to succeed in the long-term, it should be a part of your life, not your entire life.

Seven Reasons Why Good Relationships Come To an End

Most people think that only bad relationships come to an end, but do you know that even good and healthy relationships can also die. Breakups aren’t easy, and if it was a great relationship, that's even worse, and both people in that relationship will find it very hard to cope and move on. But, the reasons why good relationships can end are surprisingly quite evident, and not hard to decode.

Here are seven most common reasons why good relationships end:

Long Distance Relationships

Maintain long distance relationships can sometimes be very frustrating, especially if one partner in the relationship is very emotional. So, regular communication is the key and to keep this relationship intact; you need to keep the communication flowing. When that stops, then an invisible barrier start to appear and this can lead to the demise of the relationship eventually.

Your Partner’s Real Self Get Exposed

Most people in their first dates, tend to overcompensate and in most cases, don’t reveal a lot of their actual personalities. But, if you have been in a relationship for four to five months or even longer, you come to know a lot of your partners’ true personality and characteristics. This is a crucial moment of any relationship as this relationship can end up in a breakup or take the relationship to the new beginning. This is why it’s critical to take some time to get to know the person you are dating very well.

Dishonesty and Untrustworthy

Trustworthiness and honesty are the cornerstones to have a long-lasting and meaningful relationship. Any relationship that lack trust and honestly won’t last very long. That’s why cheating and flirting with other people while being in a relationship is a total no-no.

Avoid Responsibilities

When people first start dating, they put a lot of effort in impressing and gaining the trust and compassion from their partners. But once things get settled down, they stop putting any fresh energy or thought into advancing their relationship or taking any long-term responsibilities. This is a fatal mistake. Both partners must dedicate more time, energy, share responsibilities, and have date nights and so on before the relationship ends.

Too Much Criticism Creeps In

A relationship won’t flourish if you only criticize and argue with one another, even over less important issues. The relationship will only thrive if both persons in a relationship support each other, focus on each other’s common interests, and build their relationship on it.

You have different Interests and views

You and your partner have different interests and different perspectives on important aspects of life like religion, parenting, social issues, financial responsibility, and so on. You always find both of you nitpicking on each other interests, views, and other activities. In short, you don’t complement each other. If you want to have a happy relationship, it’s wise to be with a partner whose interests and views are closely related to your own. For example, if you five or six interests are in a relationship with someone who has shares at least two or three of them.

Your Partner Have Unrealistic Expectations

We all have our own personalities, qualities, and flaws. So, focusing on our best qualities that will bring the best of us should be the goal of any relationship. You won’t find “prince charming” or “the perfect girlfriend” on planet earth and that’s the reality.

So, there you have, being in a relationship is no easy task. Every relationship requires hard work, patience, compromise, mutual understanding, and respect. Without it, it doesn’t matter how good two individuals in a relationship are, or how good a relationship seems to be; it’s bound to end.

7 Things Not To Do While Going Through a Breakup

All breakups sting, whether you and partner have decided to separate consciously after dating for a few months or ended a five-year-old relationship. Or just you were dumped mercilessly out of the blue. After any breakup comes to the healing process, and there are both healthy and wrong ways to cope with the grief. These bad ideas will postpone your healing and make it harder for you to move on, take hold of your life and find a new partner.

So, while mourning the demise of you relationship, make sure you follow these advices:

1. You just broke up and it feels like the whole life is falling apart. Crying will let your sorrow out. So, cry. There nothing shameful to cry. Mourn your breakup. Being hurt, angry, or humiliated is okay. Write your feelings a journal. Surround yourself with close family members and friends for support. You don’t need to cry at work, but spend some time alone and be honest with yourself.

2. Being friends with your ex after a breakup is a bad idea. So far, we don’t find any breakups that lead to a lasting friendship with your ex-partner. Don’t be friends with your ex yet, unless you have moved one and found someone new to date.

3. Don’t talk or communicate with your ex in any way or form. You just ended your relationship, but if you can’t resist to talk or communicate your ex about your breakup, or something important to tell to your ex. It can be that you need to return some of their belonging from your place or deal with shared lease or even pet dog. Don’t do it and resist the urge to communicate in any form. It’s important for you to move on.

4. Seeking retribution will only make things worse. Remember breakups are nobody’s fault. So, don’t do anything like steal his or her dog, or thrash their cars, or anything, that will lead to you in Legal troubles. Seeking revenge only fuels anger and hatred, which will only delay your healing process and to move on.

5. Stalk your ex on social media isn’t only bad it’s illegal too. When going through a breakup, using Facebook and the social media sites can be counterproductive. If you still want to use it, follow two rules, don’t post anything about your breakup online and don’t ever stalk your ex, no matter how much you want it. Also, remove your ex from your friends list as well, even if you don’t want to.

6. Don’t give up on finding love again. Don’t let a breakup take all of your hope away to ever finding love again. Take care of yourself and focus on things you always liked to do, but didn’t have the time and drive for, and pursue them with a passion. Spend time with your family and dearest friends for support and care. Refocus on your life goals. Love isn’t like a bullet that can only be shot once.

7. Don’t of reconciling with your ex after what happened between you two. Don’t beg for him or her to return in your life. Deep inside, you know very well that it’s not worth at all to be in a relationship where you have to beg him/her to be with you.

The takeaway here is to learn what you can from a relationship that just ended and keep moving forward. Don’t give up on never finding the perfect one and be grateful that the end of the relationship that wasn’t meant for you.

3 Signs to Look For If Your Date Will Cheat On You

Do you know, when someone cheats, there is always some visible signs at the beginning? But, how can you identify those signs? How can you be sure that the person you’ve been dating isn’t cheating on you? Well, there are no simple answers. If you have been dating someone for five or six months or even longer, it’s pretty safe to tell that you know that person good enough.

Judging by the personalities, you can have a sense that if you can trust his person or not. The Sad story is, most people still continue with their relationships even after they suspect them cheating on them.

So, to be sure, look out for these particular traits, trust your instincts, and end the relationship soon, and protect yourself from getting emotionally burned.

Your Partner has a history of Cheating

A simple way to find if your partner will cheat on you or not in this relationship is to see if he or she has cheated in the past in a previous relationship. You won't find this at the beginning, but the information will eventually come out. Some people have cheated in the past but regretted and won’t do it again, but some individuals will do it again if they have been unfaithful in the past. So, before you decide to take your relationship any further, both of you should have a serious conversation about it, if your new date of partner has a similar story.

Your Partner Flirts With Other People, Even In Front of You!

This is very common found in most couples, and millions of men and women do it. There is little harm if your partner checks out other attractive men and women outside, but if he or she flirts with people in front you, then we have a problem. This proves that this individual wants attention, and there is the high probability that this person will take their flirting to fully fledged sexual contact if you are absent in the scene. To have a monogamous long-term relationship, it’s a must that you ask your partner not to flirt with anyone in front of one another. If you partner found hard to honor that rule, it’s time that you terminate the relationship soon.

You Partner Is Unavailable For Hours or Unreachable By Phone

If you notice your new partner or date often disappears during the day or evening without any reason, and is unreachable for hours, it’s an indication that he or she might be cheating. There is no problem someone can’t be reached for an hour or two, as that person might be shopping or at the gym. But if an individual can’t be contacted for a few hours, particularly at night, it points that he or she is cheating. Have a conversation with your new date and frankly tell him or her that their sudden absence makes you insecure and anxious. However, keep in mind, even after the conversation this type of behaviors doesn’t stop, then it’s time to consider leaving this relationship.

It’s advised that if you think that your new date or partner is cheating, be sure that your suspicions are based on real facts, not paranoia. Most people don’t want to believe that their new partners are cheating, but if your intuition tells you, then probably there is something wrong. If you sense that a new person you’re dating is cheating on you, end the relationship soon before you go deeper.

Five Rules to Use Social Media after a Breakup

So, it’s just been a week you have broken up with your partner, and you can’t resist the urge to have a glimpse of your ex partner's Facebook page. It’s okay that you can’t restrain yourself; after all break ups are hard and make us angry, upset and humiliated. So, just checking out his or her Facebook won’t be harmful, right?

Well, it’s not that simple. According to a study, it’s been found that the more time one spends on his/her ex’s Facebook page after a breakup, the more emotional distress he or she will feel, and the desire to reconcile with their ex’s increases. It's not encouraging as it makes the whole process of healing even harder after a breakup. In fact, it's straightforward unhealthy and toxic to us psychologically as we always think, talk and look at the pictures of our ex-partners. This can morph into stalking, which is in some cases, harmful.

So, here are five rules to use social media after a break up:

1. Never stalk your ex online. Don’t check your ex’s Facebook page or Twitter feeds. The best to do is that to consider un-friending him or her, or unfollowing them. Otherwise, even if you don’t look at your ex’s page, you will still see their status updates. Also, un-friend all of your ex’s friends and family members. Also, don’t even try being friends with your ex’s new found boyfriend or girlfriend. Many newly single people fall for this, but this is a just recipe for disaster.

2. Avoid posting anything of your former partner online. This can be one of the main causes of trouble. If you want to have a conversation with a friend about your ex, that fine, just don’t use any social media sites.

3. Consider canceling or deactivating your Facebook or other social media accounts. If you think you can’t stay away, forget or can’t resist having a conversation or stop thinking about your ex, then remove yourself from all types of social media websites including Facebook. We know this is hard, but it’s ideal for your healing process after a breakup.

4. Use social media or online dating platforms to meet new people. If you haven’t deleted your social media accounts, then maybe it's time to put it to some good use. We suggest you try online dating sites to meet people and hopefully be in a new relationship. Don’t feel shy to tell people that you are single online. There is nothing disrespectful or unfair about it, even for your ex. You are fully entitled to move on and begin as new.

5. Ignore all types of posts online that is directed to you. It’s quite normal for your ex, their family and friends posting things that might be addressed towards you. Even if you are entirely sure about it, don’t make a big fuzz about and don’t respond to it. Forgive your ex-partner and don’t be angry with him or her. Taking the high road is always better and practicing it will make you happy.

So, that’s it, keep tabs on you ex won’t bring him or her back into your life. If you want to be happy and move on, unfriending your ex is the best option.

10 Signs to Know it’s Time for You to Break Up

No one likes to break up. These experiences are awful, full of pain, and bring tremendous physical, mental and emotional consequences of you, which can be hard to cope. That’s why dating is all about —to find out if two people have the qualities and characteristics that are compatible with each other. If not, there aren’t many options other than the couple to end the relationship. Sometimes, we can be right, and at times we are not, even after the relationship has all the signs of it having no future.

Here are ten indicators to look out and if you notice most of them, then it’s time to break up and move on:

1. You begin to feel that you don’t get that loving feeling if you see him or her like at the beginning. It appears that the fire and sparks have disappeared and the chemistry between you two isn’t just there.

2. Your closest friends and family members are telling you that something is wrong in this relationship. It’s wise to pay some concern into this as these folks only want the best for you. However, always trust your intuition when you decide to end the relationship.

3. Honesty, respect, and trust are holding a relationship together. If you think your partner isn’t entirely honest towards you or questioning his or her trustworthiness, then it’s better for you to break up.

4. You have realized that you and partner have different missions and goals and even you both are good people, they don’t complement each other. So, before you two get hurt, it’s best to move on.

5. You start to question your partner’s emotional health. You find your partner is narcissistic, very self-absorbed, get angry easily, paranoid and sometimes very defensive. All these indicate that your partner isn’t mentally capable of handling a relationship or be married. It’s time for you to break up.

6. Both of you have different perspectives on important aspects of life. You two significantly differ on the topic like religion, social issues, parenting, financial responsibility, and so on. If you want to have a happy relationship, it’s best to be with a partner whose views are closely related to your own.

7. You two have different interests and don’t complement each other. If you have four or five interests, it’s wise to have a relationship with a person who shares one or two of them. Enjoying the same hobbies and activities together will make your relationship stronger.

8. You find that your partner is very much attached to his past and unwilling to get over them and move on. You see that your partner is always talking about their exes, their past achievements or is held back by his old buddies. If that is the case, leave this relationship.

9. It’s natural if your partner is attracted to other men or women. But if you found that your partner is frequently checking out other people, even with you in front of him or her, then it might be that your partner lacks something in you.

10. You can’t resolve conflicts with your partner. You and partner are always arguing and fighting even over things with no importance. You don’t feel supported, and you are unable to communicate with him or her, and unable to solve problems in a mutually amicable manner. This is why most relationships fall apart because conflicts remain unsolved.

So, there you have the ten reasons that should indicate if you want to be in this relationship or not. If any or most of these signs resonate with you, then it’s in your best interest that you break up before it’s too late.

10 Ways to Deal with Your Partner Who Is Losing Interest in You

couple-1210023_960_720Two people come together for many reasons; it may be physical attraction, emotional connection, similar interests and so on. The closer and intimate you and your partner got together over the weeks and months, both of you came to know each other better, and there was a positive vibe everywhere. But, now you have found for some reason your significant other has started losing interest in you. The person whom you are in so much love with has been distancing himself/herself from the relationship or looking for something different. If you still figuring out on how to deal with this then start here:

1. Don’t be a mind reader. Refrain yourself from trying to figure out every little gesture or comment to find out your partner’s interest level in you. No matter how hard you try, you can never know what’s going on a person’s mind. Period.

2. Consider this as a temporary confusion phase. Emotions are unpredictable. Every relationship has its ups and downs. There is the chance your partner is losing interest because he or she confused about the relationship and is trying to evaluate his feelings and his future with you.

3. Reignite your relationship. Most couples complained they lost their interest in each other because the relationship has become dull and predictable. So, try to reinvigorate your relationship and try to find ways to make it exciting and bring new sparks in your romance like before.

4. Don’t overreact. If a partner feels he or she is being neglected, they feel vulnerable and insecure. This is when emotional outbursts are common making the situation even worse.

5. Don’t become extremely responsible. Don’t come to the conclusion that the reason your partner is losing interest is you. It’s has nothing to do with you. So, it’s not your responsibility to “fix” the situation.

6. Give Your Partner Some Space. Don’t get very consumed about the situation. Give your partner some space. I won’t be amazed if your partner has regained interest in you after some time.

7. Ask straight questions. Instead of understanding what’s going on, ask your partner direct questions if you think someone is losing interest. Make it clear you demand an honest answer.

8. Control how you respond. Be honorable in how you react. Don’t break any boundaries, and don’t hesitate to communicate your feelings and needs with your partner.

9. Never Underestimate your worth. Your partner losing interest has nothing to do with you and your worth. The value you hold as an individual isn’t diminished one bit just because a person has decided to break up with you.

10. Move on. You are the architect of your future. It’s you to decide what best for you and your future. So, if you partner is losing interest in you, then the best possible action would be to end the relationship and move on.

Relationships evolve and change over time. So, you can spot them other can’t. These indications will surely help those folk to find out if their partner is losing interest in them and find out way on how to resolve them.