When you are in a relationship, there is always a possibility that the relationship can end at any point. If that happens, your feelings get crushed, a sense of despair and disbelief sets in, and many questions keep popping up in your mind like, “why did this happen?” or “Is it because of me?” The same thing can happen with the person you like to have a relationship but he/she isn’t interested in you. It can happen to anyone, and if that happens, the rejection can be devastating at an emotional level. If remained unchecked, it can create barriers that will make it harder for you to find lasting happiness and true love in the future.
So, when you find someone attractive and start a relationship, and it ends abruptly, it’s necessary to develop a positive perspective about what has just occurred, instead of blaming yourself for it. Here are three scenarios that can help you to cope:
Sticks to the Facts
Instead of coming up with self-deprecating opinions such as, “I am not worthy of love,” or “Nobody likes me ‘coz I am not pretty,” or “I will never find love again,” try to understand the facts why this relationship has ended. These self-condemnation type messages are not only untrue; they can also be very distressful to you, even worse than the pain of ending the relationship with the person you once loved. In fact, if you are more upset about yourself than the person you broke up with, then perhaps it’s time that to seek help from a therapist so that you can redeem your self-esteem and gain a positive perception of love.
Accept the Fact That Your Relationship Has Ran Its Course
When a breakup happens, it just happened because there wasn’t any love in it. There is no reason to conclude that the relationship ended because there was something wrong with you or your partner, or you both lacked commitment in the relationship. This usually happens at the early stages of a relationship, and it’s better to discover it while you are still getting to know each other before you take a big decision like being in a long-term relationship or even worse getting married. So we advise that couples shouldn’t commit themselves to a long-term relationship within a few weeks of falling in love, as the infatuation may dissipate quickly.
Breakups Happen Due to Mismatch of Expectations
Typically, relationships end because one partner has found that something isn’t in sync with his or her expectations about the future with the other partner. All of us have dreams and expectations, and we want to realize them when we embark in a long term relationship and sometimes things always don’t work out in the end. When that takes place, it doesn’t mean you are inadequate or lack something; it only means that you and your partner don’t have the right ingredients for a lasting relationship.
So, now you know that when someone decides to end a relationship or don’t want to have one with you, in the beginning, don’t get hurt as this isn’t all about you.