Category Archives: Online Dating

Five Big Turn-Offs for Men While Dating

Despite the fact that things have changed over the years, most women still follow an old set of rules when it comes to dating men. These may have worked in our earlier generations, but many of these old dating rules no longer work while attracting men to have a healthy relationship. Some are, in fact, total turn-offs. Here are five major turn-offs for men while looking for ‘The One.' Read on to find more:

1. Expressing your feelings while being desperate. There is a big difference when it comes to open communication and being desperate. During the initial days of dating, it is okay for you looking forward to spending more of your time with your man and expressing your feelings without any moderation. But after a few dates, this kind of behavior might make appear as desperate, clingy, obsessive and overly dependent on your partner. It’s better not to rush and wait for some time before expressing your feelings in full force.

2. Downplaying your intelligence and personality. Often women were taught to be timid and reserved. Most women even think that expressing their views, opinions, and intelligence as unfeminine characteristics that would keep their potential partner at bay. Even though women have more rights than ever before, they still think to consider suppressing their real personalities to look cute, submissive and appealing to men. However, a good guy will seek to have a loving, long-term relationship with a woman who has her own opinions and views and with a strong and confident personality.

3. Making him jealous or envious. Openly flirting with other men or talking with your ex is intended to make your partner jealous or envious of you, so that he would love you more, will have an opposite effect on your relationship. This risky behavior isn’t only immature on your part, but it will also hurt his feelings. Keep in mind, if a man is interested in you, he doesn’t want to play games with you. So, if you’re thinking of inviting your ex to the dinner party to make your guy jealous, think again. Instead, focus all your energy towards finding out what made your instincts to come with such as insidious idea in the first place.

4. Being overly caring to him. There is nothing wrong to care for your partner, but whatever you do, don’t try to become his mother. It might have worked well in the old days, where girlfriends and wives had more functional roles to play. But it’s very displeasing and overbearing to men today. Don’t interfere and push your opinions when he’s trying to make a decision. He is an adult, not a kid.

5. Don’t play hard with him, instead interact with him frequently. Playing games and sending our hints or mixed signals don’t work in today’s relationships. While small challenges can sometimes be fun and exciting to men, too much of it can appear to be silly and immature and can be detrimental. It can make you less alluring to him.

Unlike women, men rely more on actions than words. If a man interested in a woman, he will flirt with her, make eye contact, take her to vacations, send her gifts and so on. Therefore, when a man realizes that your actions, gestures, and behaviors are desperate, clingy and overly caring, it will make you less appealing and attractive to him.


3 Essential Steps to Have A Healthy Dating Life

You got divorced, and now decided to get into the dating world again. A little voice in your head is holding you back, screaming insanely and telling you, that you’re a scared and there is no one right for you. After all, you're hearing it from your depressed single friends all the time, who are by the way are tremendously miserable. You also seem to believe them and start asking yourself, ‘Is it true that there in no one perfect for me out there?

Finding a good man or a woman partly depends on you. If you’ve recently been divorced, get rid of all the negative thoughts that your next marriage will also face the same ending. Although, it’s easy for most men and women to blame their partner for the demise of the relationship, it’s okay if it’s true. But, the fact is you allowed or tolerated certain behaviors of your spouse, that were intolerable to you, but you decided to live with them anyway. The outcome; an ugly breakup.

Here are three steps that can help your get back into the dating scene and enjoy a healthy dating life:

Step 1: Be vulnerable with yourself, and try to realize how you feel. Most of us while dating always try to hide our problems and insecurities from our partners, and pretend that everything in our life is perfect. Our vulnerabilities and fears only become evident during certain events that we can’t control such as bankruptcy or losing our job. Therefore, be honest with yourself and address your personal feelings.

Step 2: Attain an empowered understanding of how you feel. Sometimes we feel and resentful towards our partners for problems in the relationship, especially when it comes to financial issues. We get drowned in debt because the other person wasn’t responsible spending the money. While we have the right to be angry and upset for this mess created by one of our partners, if you learned an empowered understanding of the situation, you’ll realize that it is actually you who is upset and angry. Your angry is making you understand the ways that you did nothing to stop your spouse from his or her reckless spending habit, just for the reason that you ignored your needs to make your partner happy.

Step 3: Don’t try to change other, rather change yourself. After you learned an empowered understanding of yourself and realized what’s making your angry, you decided to make a dramatic to yourself. You can contribute to an understanding that, to have a future healthy relationship, you need to stop pretending that you had everything in your life in control, and ask for support. Asking for help might feel like being vulnerable to yourself, but it will allow you to meet your needs eventually. Feeling vulnerable will make your realize your self-worth, and demonstrate to others that your needs matters just as much as anybody else’s. However, this can become precarious to someone who unconsciously believes that they’ve flaws and are unlovable.

If you're looking for a relationship, avoid repeating the same mistakes that caused your first relationship to tank. Rather, empower yourself emotionally and learn more about yourself, which will help you, find someone who shares your interests and values.


6 First Date Conversation Tips

Dating is already hard enough, and we all know the how to make the best impression on the first date conversation. So, how do you bring the best of you when you’re meeting someone for the first time?

Here are six ways for making the most of a first date conversation, so you can hope to be on a second date with him or her.

1. Don’t talk too much
We tend to over talk, when we get nervous. The more we talk, the less we get to know someone. Typically when we meet someone new, we start by making small talk. But, as we get settled down, we start to get familiar with him or her. Keep your chatting time limited in the first five minutes. Don’t talk about everything that pops in your head, unless it seems interesting and worth sharing.

2. Look at him or her
Don’t look like a creep. Keep your gaze soft, steady and be focused on your date. Looking at your date in this will convey that, you’re interested in him or her. Use your eyes to tell and invoke your date a sense of warmth, and safety.

3. Find out if both of you are on the same page
When meeting your date for the first time, you want to convey your emotional maturity to him or her, which is important to have a committed and long-lasting relationship. Ask questions like, what his or her goals in life are, or what is the most important thing in life is for him or her at the moment, and so forth. This will help you to get you more acquainted with each other.

4. Tell the truth, but maintain boundaries.
Always be honest and never lie, but don’t share too much of your life at the first date. However, it’s okay to talk a little about your past relationships or marriages. Don’t be scared or be honest about sharing your emotional baggage. When talking about your exes, don’t thrash them. It’s very unattractive.

5. Ask them how they feel
Ask your date how they’re feeling about the date. Don’t shy away from asking them about their emotions and feelings, and what made them come on this date. Ask them what motivates them to make important decisions in life, like why did they take teaching as a career or why did they relocate to a new city and so on. Pay attention when they answer you and figure out if the answers are concrete or emotional. For example, if your date becomes emotional when talking about kids, it’s obvious that he or she loves children and want to be around them.

6. Exit the date gracefully
Whether your first date was good or bad, end the date in a graceful manner without offending the other person across the table. Smile, convey “Thank you,” and tell them you enjoyed the date and meeting him or her. The date may have been bad or failed to live up to your expectations, but don’t leave feeling disappointed with yourself or your date.

The first date conversations are hard and can fail to meet your expectations, given that both parties are feeling nervous and don’t know what’s going to happen. However, if you’re meeting someone new for the first time, these tips will help you to make your first date conversation a pleasant experience.


How To Reduce the Pressure of the First Date

Whether you’re 25 or 65, for the majority of people looking for love feel nervous on first dates. It’s a situation where most people think their love is at stake and the chance to a second date is dependent on his or her performance. Feeling stressed out on dates makes you unattractive. Thought, performing under pressure on first dates don’t always make your date love you; it does increase your chances of a second date.

Here are the three most usual first date pressures and how can you address, so that you can give your best on the first date:

The Pressure To Look Good
The pressure to look attractive and desirable is one of the main pressures felt by daters. Most men and women attempt to reduce this pressure by changing their looks via makeup, dresses or hairstyles. Though this might boost your attractiveness for a while, it would have been much more effective, if you have focused on how you feel about yourself. Before going on a date, think about your self-worth, your personality, and your strength. Be confident and maintain a positive attitude, and you’ll appear more attractive and fun to others.

The Pressure To Find A Date Place
If you want to have a good experience with your potential partner, take some time and consideration while selecting a place for the date. Making decisions hastily and under pressure are usually bad. You can reduce your stress by choosing a place where you can feel empowered and be in control. Don’t be inconsiderate to your date, but invest some time and effort to find a location, that will make both of you feel authentic and relaxed. It will help you and your date to have fun too. Most people try to reduce the pressure to find a place his or her likes to go. You might love the idea to take your date to a hot and expensive restaurant, but the prices of the menu will make you jittery!

The Pressure To Have A Nice Conversation
When it comes to a first date, the pressure to have right and natural conversation is a lot of pressure. Most of us anxious about what topics to discuss or not, what information should I keep a secret, etc. The key here is not to be quiet, silly or bored in the conversation. One way to reduce conversational pressure is by share your feelings and thoughts about the topics you discuss. Expressing your feelings and thoughts is an intimate level of communication, and they add color and uniqueness to the conversation. Besides, it also makes him or her interesting to their respective dates. For example, instead of talking about your job details, express your thoughts and feelings about your job and why you like it. It will make your date tick. Also, encourage your date to share his thoughts and feelings too and stay away from evaluating them. The purpose is to have a first date conversation that will help both of you to feel connected.

First dates are crucial if you want to have a relationship. Naturally, there’s a lot of pressure involved, and the best way to reduce it is to remember that a first date is not a do or die situation. Rather it’s an opportunity to meet someone new and have fun!


12 Reasons You Should Date A First Born Child

There has been research conducted by late psychologist Alfred Adler, who speculated that an individual’s personality, temperament, and habits are significantly shaped by his or her position in the sibling group. Various studies show that the birth order greatly influences a person’s education, career, earning capability and much more. This brings us to the topic of firstborns and whether they make great partners.

Here are 12 reasons you should consider dating a first child. So read on and decide for yourself:

1. Firstborns are intelligent, and they know how to use it. Men and women who are firstborns tend to have a high IQ and reach higher levels of education than their siblings. As they highly and better educated than their siblings, firstborns typically have a high earning potential. In fact, it’s been reported that firstborns make at least $100,000 extra annually than their siblings.

2. Firstborns are the movers and shakers in the family and society. They have a high drive for success, and usually fill most leadership roles and positions in education, business, and the military. Firstborns also have strong leadership abilities. As the oldest child of his or her siblings, these people aren’t scared to face challenges or take charge.

3. If you marry a firstborn, he or she will help you with domestic duties. Why? Because firstborns often are given lots of responsibility by parents like taking care of younger siblings, doing chores, etc.

4. Firstborns are self-motivated. They have immense desire to please and achieve personally and don’t need many external incentives to get going.

5. Firstborns got an early head-start when it comes to spending quality time with his or her. The first child will usually get an approximately 3,000 additional hours from their parents than the next sibling between the ages four to13.

6. Firstborns are confident. As firstborns, they got all the attention from their parents and praises as well. They also have high self-esteem and self-assurance than their siblings as they didn’t have an older sibling to mock or make fun of them.
7.

Firstborns are goal-oriented. Because, they’ve witnessed their parents celebrating their every first milestones.

8. If you’re dating a firstborn, you might be dating the next president or a future astronaut. 64 percent of all U.S. presidents are firstborns. Meanwhile, among 23 of American astronauts who went to space.

9. 21 of them were firstborns, while the remaining two astronauts were the only child of their parents. Also, all seven astronauts were firstborns in the original Mercury program.

10. Usually, firstborns are seen as responsible and reliable. They have developed and honed these qualities by taking care of their younger brothers and sisters, and have taken up grown-up skills and tasks early on.

11. Firstborns always strive to become role models. As the leader of his or her sibling group, all younger siblings look at them as examples school, home, and work.

12. Firstborns are typically thinner and taller than the rest of his or her siblings. So, if you guys looking for a lady with a slender physique, and all you ladies, who have soft corners for tall guys, now you know whom to date!


5 First Date Conversation Rules That Should Be Dropped

Most of us are familiar with first date rules. They say don’t talk about religion or politics; they tell us to be polite, keep smiling, and be cool because in reality we get serious and talk about what we what to get out of our relationships and life. Most of these rules were invented to keep our first date less stressed and stay away from having conversations about serious topics. But, if you want to have a serious relationship, time has come to discard these rules and get more personal on the first date.

Below are five first date conversation rules that need to be dropped:

1. Talk about what you’re looking for. Most men and women on their first dates ask each other what exactly they are looking for in a relationship. It is a rhetorical question because if you don’t know what are looking for in a date, why bother to go on a date in the first place? Dates should be places where you can talk about the future. If you and your potential partner aren’t on the same page or doesn't know what he or she is looking for in a romantic relationship, then it’s a total waste of time and energy.

2. Talk About Religion. If you are a religious or spiritual, or simply passionate about religion, then you should date someone who shares that with you. Talk about religion and mention about the importance of faith in your daily life, but don’t preach it. Also, don’t judge someone because their religious beliefs don't align with yours.

3. Talk About Your Family. When meeting someone new, it’s important to talk what family means to you. Don’t only talk to your existing family, but the type of family you wish to have in the future as well. Discussing your parents, your siblings, and share any family traditions you like with a potential partner is a nice way to get to know more about each other.

4. Talk about what you do. If you’re passionate about your work, let your date know about it. Tell about what kind of work you do, why you like it, tell about a funny incident that happened in the office last week, and so on. However, keep it brief and engaging. Don’t rant about the bad sides of your of work, or how annoying your coworkers are.

5. Open up about yourself. Don’t get scared about telling your potential partner who you really are. Be honest, open up and talk about yourself. Tell the story of what you did on your last vacations or the charity you volunteered for. Let your date get to know you more about you. Do keep in mind to allow the conversation to both directions. Share some details about and then ask your date to talk about them. Ask questions, but don’t interrupt or interrogate. If there is something that you’re very passionate about, talk to your about it.

If you’re looking for a happy and fulfilling relationship, there shouldn’t be any rules of what you need to talk about, unless if it isn't important. Asking personal question helps in bring two strangers closer in a date and fosters vulnerability, which is an important quality for a committed, loving relationship.


5 Ways To Overcome Dating Frustration

When you’re looking for someone to date, the search may seem like it’s taking forever to meet your match. Many of us get impatient and frustrated in the process of finding love, and finding love can indeed take a long time to happen. It may seem like love is within your reach, yet it’s far away. Getting impatient and frustrated will only make it harder. But, there is a way to deal with it.

Here are five ways to deal with impatience and frustration with your dating life:

1. Don’t love or settle for an unhealthy relationship. Dating or loving someone just because you’re impatient and everyone is doing it, are only short term fixes. Regardless how much you hate being alone or single, don’t force yourself to love someone who isn’t right for you.

2. Leave your negative feelings and emotions out of your interaction with potential partners. We humans have negative feelings. Having negative emotions isn’t necessarily bad, but leading with them while dating is unattractive. Stop always complaining about your romantic relationships. Develop a habit of committing while dealing with your sadness, anger, and frustrations, and find new approaches to deal with your negative feelings and emotions. Establish positive interactions including messaging, with potential matches.

3. Don’t set a deadline when it comes to finding potential partners. It’s okay to set deadlines in our daily lives, but when it comes to finding love, setting a time limit doesn't always get things done. We understand why most single men and women want to set deadlines to find a mate, as they don’t want to be alone on particular dates or seasons like Valentine’s Day. But, it’s important to find ways to keep yourself motivated, and you may get drowned in frustration, hopelessness, impatience or anger, in case you failed to get someone within your deadline. Try to come up with new strategies to confront your loneliness, and be less self-critical and self-loathing of yourself.

4. Be in full charge of your emotions and behaviors. If you’re motivated, committed and optimistic of your relationship goals, in spite of all the negative feelings and emotions, and inevitable ups and downs, you can a positive change in your life. The way you feel and behave while dating someone depends on the choices you make for yourself and how you put your energy to use.

5. It’s worth waiting for true love. If you look around, you’ll find many happy couples who will tell you things would have been better, and they could have spent more time with their partners, had they met earlier. But, these couples also admitted that they love, and affection they’ve now for their partners is worth the long wait. So, when your mind tells you to love someone or be in a relationship, who isn’t fully right for you, keep in mind that it’s worth waiting and fighting for real love.

When you’re looking for someone, when you're faced with painful emotions and experiences, always stay in the present and be focused on your goals. Acknowledge that impatience, disappointments, anger, and frustration is inevitable while searching for a partner.


Is Your Man Really Who He Says He Is?

If you’re someone who has been dating for a while, you probably learned a few things along the way, such as realizing the difference between various types of relationships. You seem to understand which relationships are worth pursuing and which ones you should leave. And for those women, you’ve just started dating here are three important questions that you ask yourself to distinguish between a man who is right for you and who isn’t.

Is he ready for a relationship?

When it comes to online dating, there are two types of men and women. We will talk about guys here. One type of men is really looking for a relationship and that too in all the right places. He may not have the best job or the fanciest car, but he’s willing to share his life with the right woman. As soon as you established contact with him, you immediately realized that he means business. He texted or emailed you, exchanged phone numbers and even scheduled a date with you. You enjoyed the date and happy that you found a guy who was fully ready to be in committed, exclusive relationship, even though there were a few differences between both of your personalities. Meanwhile, some guys are full of hot air. You found that even they sounded confident, they struggled with having a meaningful conversation with you. You forced him to meet you, and after the first date, you seem to get to know a lot about him. Though he too drives a nice car and has a stable job, he isn’t ready to commit to a relationship. All he is interested is to have sex with you, even though he seem like a gentleman and responsible.

What type of woman is he wants and what are his deal-breakers?

We all have our own list of things we want and things we don’t want to have or see in our partners. In fact, this is a crucial step while choosing a date. Ask your guy, what kind of woman he’s looking for and what are his deal-breakers. This will give you an insight of who your man really is. Is he ready to commit in an exclusive relationship or is he just looking to satisfy his carnal needs? Sometimes, this can be hard for you to figure and even if you’ve figured it out, it might not be according to your expectations.

Do you trust your intuition?

When you date online, you actually don’t know much about him or her. It’s difficult to get to know a person fully with only a few winks, emails, and text messages. It is the toughest part about online dating few people tell you. If you’ve found a guy online who is interested in you, take some time to get to know more about him, before starting a relationship. Ask him to meet you, have coffee breaks, lunch, and even dinner, whatever suits you. By then, you’ll know what your instinct is telling you. But, the hardest part is to have the guts to follow through.

Dating someone new is filled with uncertainty. You don’t know who he or she really is, are they interested in having a relationship, or are they simply interested in <a href=”https://having physical relationship. Sometimes you just have to trust your heart and follow it.


How To Make Long Distance Relationships Work

Long distance relationships are hard. You’ve limited time to share with your partner and keep in touch with limited communication. But many couples seem to make it work and make the best of their geographically-limited situation. But, things can get a little odd when you and your partner are reunited. It is great to reconnect with your partner, but sometimes this transition period can be hard to deal at the same time. You’re still getting habituated to rarely seeing your spouse to being with him all the time. It’s been found that reuniting couples are highly likely to break up and they would have been better off if the long distance relationship remained long distance.

Anyways, here are a few tips to make your transition easy if you’ve been in a long distance relationship.


1. Keep your expectations realistic about your relationship while being apart

As both partners live apart in a long distance relationship, couples have the tendency to reminisce memories of their relationship mostly. Some partners idealize their relationship and believe that it was actually better before. It’s been found that couples who idealize their relationships have a higher chance of breakups. It happens when you envision your partner to be better in your head than he or she is in person. And when the couples reunite, things can get ugly. Both partners feel like they’ve reunited with a complete stranger instead of someone they already know and love.


2. Make visits to your partner as much as possible

Though this won’t be as easy as it sounds, when you have the chance do it! The more time you spend some quality time with your partner and interact with him or her, the less you’ll idealize them. This will reduce the friction and the instability in your relationship when you and your partner reunite. If you can’t visit your partner as often while staying apart, consider visiting your partner more often when the time of the reunion gets close as it will help to get more familiar with your partner emotionally. If physical visits seem unavailable for some reason, try video chatting. The key is to keep the line of communication open, no matter how hard the situation is.


3. Talk About Everything

As the time of a permanent reunion nears, try having a more day-to-day casual conversation with your partner. Many couples don’t like to talk about everyday affairs with their partners in long distance relationships and only like to discuss important stuff. By talking about everything in your day with your spouse, you’re recreating a scenario in which normal couples would be. And you’ll get to know your spouse more. By the way, don’t be scared to argue. Long distance couples avoid conflicts while having conversations due to the reason that they can’t resolve them. But, arguments can be good to know more your partner better as you get an insight how your spouse copes with stressful situations in their lives.

One big problem in long distance relationships is the transition phase. For couples seeing and spending time with their partners’ every day from just seeing a few times in a month or a year can be hard to deal with. But keeping the lines of communication open and easing into the transition is the best way to solve it.


8 Warning Signs that You’re on a Bad Date

Let’s be clear, bad dates happen, and sometimes they must be intervened and stopped in the middle – straightaway. If you can simply no longer tolerate your date, and you can’t control your date’s behavior, there is a way where you can end gracefully and humanely, without both parties feeling bad for themselves. So, how do you end a bad date in the middle without being rude or harsh?

First, remember anyone can have a bad day. Sometimes your date isn’t acting nice because he or she is having a bad day or in a bad mood. People also act badly when they’re having personal problems that are causing them a lot of stress. So, instead of investigating why your date is not acting the way you wanted or being rude, just start the process to dismiss the date. Well, if you two click somehow, you can reschedule and give your date a second chance. But, for now, just end it.

Second, when you end a date in the middle, do it gracefully, even if he or she has been rude to you. If your date has said something that is straightforward ugly, abusive or hurtful, in those rare situations you don’t need to be nice and graceful. In these rare occasions, just say your date that you’re sorry and not interested at the date, and need to leave. Don’t worry too much about hurting your date’s feelings as you can clearly see he or she hasn’t been kind to your feelings either. However, try to end as much as gracefully, and don’t say something like “Go To Hell!” and so on.

Third, don’t end your date quickly, after you’ve decided to end it in the middle. When you realize that the moment has arrived that you can’t tolerate being with your date even for a minute, don’t end it immediately. It might seem uncomfortable to you but wait for ten to fifteen minutes before you leave. Say, you’re in the middle of a meal, finish it first or wait till your finishes it. If you and your date are having a drink, wait until you or both of you finishes. Once they do that, say something like you’re sorry, something just came up and that you’ve to leave. In such a situation, either your date will feel confused or will know that you probably are not interested. Another thing you can do to end the date gracefully is to pay half of all the expenses, whether it’s meal, drink, etc. This is a graceful and respectable gesture on your part, even if your date hasn’t been very friendly and kind to you throughout the date.

Fourth, at the end of the date, don’t say or do anything you don’t want to do. If you happen to leave a date in the middle, it’s downright awkward to say something like, “Goodbye,” let alone share a light kiss or a hug. Once you ended a date in the middle, walk out together, and only say, “Wish you all the best”or“It was nice meeting you,” or “Have a nice day or night.” Saying this implies that your date knows very well that you will never see him or her again. But the good thing is you both have ended the date with a nice note.

When you’re looking for someone, you might come across a few bad dates. It’s nothing serious as bad dates are a part of the dating process. The key is ending the date kindly, gracefully and without holding any grudges against each other.