Dating is perhaps one of the most emotionally overwhelming things a person can do in life. For once you’re happy and relaxed that you have met your soul mate, and the next moment all your hopes and dreams crash like a house of cards with a single, hurtful breakup text. When that happens, you need to channel all that grief without punishing yourself or obsessing about your ex.
Here’s what you can do gain the strength and patience to move on.
#1 Never Ask Why
Resist the temptation to ask the other person why did they break up or didn’t want to have a third or fourth date with you. Is it because I don’t have a sense of humor, or you don’t like cats? Or, maybe you might consider for another date if l lost ten pounds? This is a hole we all fall into if someone we like isn’t interested in us anymore. You keep finding out all your flaws and imperfections in your personality in the hope that if you find it, you won’t repeat it on your next date. The truth is this just another way to beat yourself, by listing all of your potential flaws and eccentricities and makes a statement to prove you’re hopeless.
We understand why most of us who got rejected do this. Sometimes rejections are so unexpected and confusing that, we can settle down until we found a reason for it, such as I hate dogs, I don’t like to wear suits, etc. The reality is most of us will never find out for sure why that person pulled the plug. Honestly speaking, it doesn’t really matter. You’re not perfect, and you won’t be perfect. The flaws are part of you; they make up your personality and define you who really are. So, if you date someone, make sure he or she falls in love with the real you, not with someone who molded into something lovable.
#2 Be Nice To Yourself
If someone gets rejected, they often feel the urge to assess their personality in the hope and think that being hard on oneself will make him or her a better dater next time. In fact, it’s untrue. Studies show that people who are self-critical are less motivated to try again than those who are more forgiving and less self-critical. So what, you did something stupid or unexpected, or over shared details about your bad habits, or your previous relationships. Well, you could sit there and tell yourself that you aren’t perfect. But, all that will result from this self-loathing is that you’ll hate yourself more, and you’ll be afraid to go on another date. There is a better strategy here. Recall the moments that made you flinch, later forgive yourself.
No one ever said dating is easy. It’s difficult in trying to show your date the best of yourself. You don’t want to look like a bragger while opening yourself to the other person, while keeping in mind that you don’t spill all of your beans. If you made a few mistakes don’t beat yourself up for it – it makes you a human.