Take a look at any celebrity or lifestyle magazine or website, and you will be bombarded with articles that are full of sex and relationship advice. You see cheesy headlines such as, “How to have amazing sex!”, “Which sex position is best to have an orgasm!” and so on. Sure, sex is significant regardless if you are in an open or committed relationship. A relationship that has sexual intimacy issues is bound to fail in the long run. But, what if your partner isn’t interested in having sex with you? What if you aren’t interested in having sex?
According to relationship therapists, in all romantic relationships, there is a “high desire partner (HDP)” and “low desire partner (LDP).” These roles aren’t permanent and can change. Besides, they don’t only exist in the bedroom. You might be an HDP or LDP with intimacy, while your partner might have HDP or LDP when it comes to relocating to a new home or city. So, what do some men and women have low desire for sex? There are many issues for why some people have a lower libido than average. These may be — hormone changes, blood sugar level changes, erection problems, fear of pregnancy, depression, weight gain, stress, fatigue, etc.
So, how can you address this crisis? Here are three ways to cope when you are having less sex in your relationship:
- Accept that variations in libidos are normal
Even the happiest and the healthiest couples have an LDP and an HDP. It’s pretty common to see one partner’s sexual desire is more than the other person. It’s no one’s problem, and there is no need to blame each other. It’s just the way things are. It’s true that when it comes to physical intimacy, sometimes things can become more personal. But, bear in your mind that the fundamentals don’t differ that much when it comes to low-sex relationships or marriages to the sexless ones.
- Identify and treat medical problems
Men are most likely to have low libido and get less interested in sex when they are suffering from weak erections or erections issues. Luckily, there are many effective treatments available, like pills, injections, suppositories, and so on. Some women report they experience pain while making love, so they stay away from sexual activity. In most cases, this pain originates when the woman isn't lubricated enough because of the lack of arousal or high-stress levels. Let’s make one thing clear; most women need to be fully emotionally engaged to enjoy sex. So, have plenty of foreplay with your girlfriend or participate in passionate or intimate activities outside of the bedroom. For example, send loving or flirty texts; go for walks or a weekly date night, and so on. Also, medications, lubricants, and having sex in sex positions can be helpful too.
- Be compassionate and take care of your partner and yourself
If you feel sad because your significant other doesn’t have the sexual desire like before, they may also feel frustrated or angry about it. So, empathize with their situation. Listen to your partner, be compassionate with them and allow them to share their feelings without interruption. Let your lover know that they aren't alone. Take care of your partner and make an effort pleasure your partner by giving him or her back rub, foot massage and more. Pleasure yourself, if you want to have sex, and your spouse says no. And when the situation becomes too stressful, see a relationship therapist.