You can’t find any relationships that are free from challenges and arguments. But, most men and women are in denial of all the many problems plaguing their relationships. To all those folks we would like to say that if you’re in denial, it will make it harder for you to be in good relationships or ruin the ones you’re already in.
So, what is denial? Overall, denial is easy, and it means that you don’t think long and hard about a possible emotional problem or challenge you have. Denial means that you don’t acknowledge the problem altogether and say that it’s untrue. So, what is the opposite of the denial? The alternative to denial is having an insight into yourself and assuming responsibility for your behaviors, actions or beliefs that might be termed as misguided or problematic. You must assume responsibility for your actions that might be immoral, disrespectful, selfish, or stupid.
Now, how can you realize that your constant denial of the problems is negatively impacting your relationship or dating life? Here are few examples to put the topic into perspective:
1. You keep hearing the same kind of negative feedback from friends, family, exes or other people you’ve dated
Listen to this carefully; if a lot of people have told you there is something wrong or misguided about your personality or your behavior, it’s highly likely to be true. It doesn’t mean that they’re 100 percent right, but if they always criticize it, then there is probably some truth to it. People, who are not in denial, where they hear something negative about them from others, they’ll pause for a moment, reflect on it, and will check if there is any truth to it. If your ex or someone you’re dating says that something you say or do is hurtful or harmful, you’ve to listen and focus on it, if you want to be someone who has a good, healthy relationship.
In other words, you should be open and self-reflective to be in a healthy and committed relationship. The truth is that we all have issues, so it’s fully normal and start to acknowledge your shortcomings or flaws and ask yourself if there are any problems you have that needs to be worked on which will make you a good romantic partner.
2. You dislike talking about feelings
Frankly, you can’t have a decent relationship, if you withhold or not talk about your feelings. You won’t like this, but when it comes to dating and relationships, if you fail or don’t look honestly at your feelings and communicate them with your significant other – there is a high possibility that your relationship will fail.
3. You blame others for your problems
Most of us who are dating or have dated people in the past, when they notice a particular behavior that’s bothering them, they directly told it to them that what they do or say that is wrong. Men and women, who are not in denial, will listen to it, take a few seconds, and will say that, they know that they aren’t perfect, and will try to address the issue because they care how about their partners’ feelings. Meanwhile, blamers live in denial. They don’t believe that anything they do is wrong, and they won’t think about working on it at an emotional level unless coerced to do so.
So, rather than in denial, you better face the problem and find a solution to the crisis. It will greatly help to rebuild the existing relationship or find a new one.