Most men and women often find themselves playing romantic games on dates instead of having a direct conversation. To put this into context, this is how it goes;
First, the two people meet for the first time. They have coffee, and then go out for a drink. They have dinner at the next date. Both people realize they’ve some chemistry and start dating – sort of. They decided it's way early to make their relationship exclusive, so the two starts seeing other people at the same time. A while later, they think of having a relationship but aren’t sure about how to commit in the relationship. Now, they’re in a committed relationship, started to call themselves boyfriend and girlfriend. Things are getting more serious now, and a week later one of the partners decided to call off the relationship. A week later, both started dating someone else.
Well, it’s not that bad. But the main point is that sometimes people tend to take their relationship to another level without having a serious conversation with their partners. In other words, there is a communication disparity in the relationship. Often couples keep on wondering about the status of their relationship, and where is it heading. But, it would have been much easier if both the partners asked each other about it.
If you’re dating someone new and feel uncertain about some issues, be direct and honest and just ask him or her before you begin having an exclusive relationship. Have an in-depth conversation and try to understand If you’re putting too much pressure on him or her or scaring him or her. Also, make sure that you don’t appear overly desperate or controlling to them because these two factors are deal-beakers when it comes to dates as well as in relationships. Try to establish a communication without looking desperate. Be curious instead of controlling. There’s a significant difference. It’s all about how to ask the questions and react to answers.
Ask your date if you both are in committed relationship. If not, then tell that you want a committed relationship. Also, ask your date if he or she is dating someone. Also tell your date that if you too are seeing someone else. Decide, if both of you are interested in dating multiple people or not.
If you notice that these questions are making the other nervous or uncomfortable, then you can safely say that this date is going nowhere or to the direction you wanted it to go. So, you’ve wasted a lot of time and your emotions on something, whose only outcome is unwanted suffering and emotional pain.
Nonetheless, there’s a silver lining here. Asking direct questions and receiving direct replies means that you don’t have to guess or wonder. If neither of you likes the answers, then both of you can end it, move on and find someone else to date. You can save plenty of your time and effort in the process.
If you have doubts, whether and when you’re going to see each other the next time, then you aren’t in a relationship. If you both didn’t have a serious conversation about having a committed relationship, then you aren’t in one. If he or she calls or text you a week or once in a while, it’s very likely that they’re dating someone else. It is true that being too honest and direct can be scary to some people, but it will prevent you from anxiety and wasting your time.