When it comes to protecting ourselves from dating the wrong person, we mostly focus on a person’s flaws. But, did you even think that our thoughts of ourselves can be more powerful that we can realize to determine the quality of the person we are with. We are talking about not thinking highly about out self-worth. For example, we often hear rants from even the most confident daters like, “I am not right or successful enough, or “I am not attractive or pretty enough for him,” and that sort of things.
Remember, a simple truth, what we feel about ourselves determines what kind of people we attract in our lives. It doesn’t matter how much we pretend to have a glimmering self-esteem, if we can’t project it skillfully, it’s a total waste.
So, what can you do to get good with yourself?
Narrate Your Own Heroism
Humans are strivers. Our lives aren't static. We’re always striving to overcome obstacles or something to improve ourselves. Search for a story that will give meaning to your own struggles and life journeys. Feeling upset that your relationship didn’t last? Thank yourself and tell yourself that the breakup happened because that relationship wasn’t meant for you and now you a second chance to find someone new that will meet your needs.
Not happy about your finances, career, health, relationships with friends and family? Don’t sulk about it, and instead, work on it to make it better. Try saving and stop reckless spending to boost your finances. Get that promotion that you want badly to advance your career or find a new job. Join a gym or run a 5K marathon to lose some weight, get active by playing sports to improve your health and fitness level. Spend more of your free time with your family or hang out during the weekends with close friends to make those bonds even stronger. These small shifts will shape how we feel about ourselves and communicate to others in a way that we feel at ease and be the captain of our lives. All these will help you to form a positive personal story that is good for our mental health and boosting our self-esteem and confidence level as well.
Trust Yourself That The Things You’re Doing Is Right
We all have seen some people who are always complaining about the lack of love and passion in their relationships, yet they still don’t do anything on their own. Instead, they keep on bashing the other person for doing nothing about it.
Praise everything you do. You spent the time and effort to write the profile. You respond to the texts, emails, and scheduling dates. You showed up for dates and went through boring conversations. You spent money, wore the best dress or suit and put on expensive perfumes. You risked being rejected by asking for a second date or tried for a kiss. You thought your first date was great but got a text from the other person that he or she liked you, but they felt any chemistry. You don’t get sad, you get over it and move on and do it all over again.
Treasure yourself, be nice to yourself, take nicely to yourself and most importantly be okay with yourself. If you do that, you’ll find someone who will be kind to you and treasure you.