Emotional Baggage Can Threaten Your Relationship

Most of us have dated someone with a lot of emotional baggage, and most of them didn’t have a happy ending. Unfortunately, it’s hard to figure out if your partner has too much baggage until you’ve been in a relationship with that person for some time. Only if you can spot whether he or she has emotional baggage sooner, you could stop dating that person. Moreover, you should not get in the relationship in the first place.

Here are some most common types of emotional baggage and how you can spot it.

1. Serious problems within the Family

It doesn’t matter whether your date is 20 or 50, if he or she comes from a dysfunctional family, it’s highly likely that they too will have emotional problems. Even if your date personally doesn't have any personal or emotional issues or their parents or siblings had it, it can cause significant emotional stress on their lives.

How You Can Spot It

He or she is outraged towards a parent or parents, siblings or other family members whenever they get together for family reunions, dinners or parties. You will find that he or she has a parent or a sibling who is an alcoholic or addict and it’s creating a lot of problems in the family. You will discover that he or she was abused verbally, physically and emotionally by one or both parents.

2. Depression

Most of us associate depression that affects women. But, severe forms of depression have been diagnosed in both men and women. So, if a person has some baggage, it’s very likely he or she is severely depressed and need medical attention.

How You Can Spot It

He or she is always moody; don’t like to socialize or talk to others; and little confidence and self-esteem. People with depression aren’t interested in activities which can make them happy, are pessimistic about what the future hold for them. They complain all the time and can get angry or irritated very easily. He or she always starts arguments and cries for no particular reason. However, it’s important to know men and women express their emotional outburst differently.

3. The Ex-Factor

If you start dating someone, who recently broke up with his or her partner, you ask yourself questions like, If he still in love with his ex? Does she still contact her ex? If you feel uncomfortable dating someone who has been in a serious relationship in the past, then end it right there. And for those who have just been out of a relationship, wait for at least six months or more before you fully get over your ex, before you start a new relationship. This way you won’t carry the baggage of your old relationship to the new one.

How You Can Spot It

He or she mentions their former lovers at least once a week during the first few weeks of dating. He or she still keeps pictures of their ex; he says his ex’s name while talking to his friends; he or she always compares you with their ex.

The bottom line is, we all have some emotional baggage the moment we reach adulthood. The advice to remember is that we should be able to control our baggage so that it doesn’t harm our relationships in any way or form.

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