So you and your partner had a big fight. You had these kinds of explosive arguments in the past, and the two of you stopped talking with each other. And you both know that this can’t be continued for long. You start thinking about that you were right and your spouse was wrong. You are now waiting for your partner to come to you first, and let her tell you how important this relationship is for her, how much she values it, and she seeks your forgiveness after she tells you she’s sorry for everything she had done.
Below are some tips on how to forgive your partner and make your marriage stronger.
1. Understand it is okay to feel vulnerable in your marriage
Feeling insecure or vulnerable isn’t something people experience naturally in romantic relationships. Also, our fears and shame also prevent us to be vulnerable. But, vulnerability creates an opportunity for your partner to know who you really are as a person. It gives her the chance to understand everything about you, including your strengths and weaknesses. By showing your vulnerable side, you are showing your significant other that you trust them and that they will not take advantage of your trust in them to hurt you. Asking your spouse to forgive you means that you are admitting that you have done or said things that weren’t right. It is something that you shouldn’t have done. Nonetheless, admitting to your girlfriend or spouse that you are “wrong” allows your partner to see the vulnerable side of you.
2. Repair the cracks by making restitutions
In relationships and marriages, whenever there are arguments or other forms of strains, the damage is done. If this damage isn’t addressed or amended in a proper way, the stability of the relationship can be ruined. There are some kind damages in the relationship that can be repaired, but talking alone won’t solve the problem completely. If you want to truly forgive your partner of what she has done and if she is seeking forgiveness from you, just forgiving her isn’t enough. You also have to ask your spouse to forgive and take steps to fix the damages that have been done to the relationship. Making amends is crucial when it is possible, but do keep in mind that the amends you are making doesn’t cause further harm to your partner and the relationship. Also by repairing the gaps and holes in your marriage, you are making your marriage more resilient to future fights or arguments you and your partner might have in the future.
3. Try to make a new commitment
An important aspect of seeking the forgiveness of your significant other is trying to make new commitments in your relationship and hoping that the future will be different. This doesn’t mean that you will keep making mistakes and will ask for forgiveness from your spouse, but it an initiative to show to your partner that you are making an effort to bring some changes in your relationship and your life so that you do not hurt your partner in the same way again.