Shyness is a personality trait. Overcoming shyness isn’t easy, but if you’re serious committed to defeating it, you can do it. Just like if a person makes an effort to change his physical behavior, an individual may also make changes to his personality. Consider these tips below and practice daily and notice un-shying yourself.
1. Gain perspective into your shyness. If you’re seriously committed to get rid of your shyness, make a list of all the things that make you shy at the first place. Create a list of situations where you feel the most shy. Now, compare these situations and ask yourself what do these situations have in common? Ask you if there is anything that scares you? Here’s an example, say you and your friend went to a party. At some point, you friend excuses herself and left you with a guy, whom you find attractive. What would you do? Should you start a conversation with him? Will he judge you if you talk to him? What would your friend think?
2. Stop catering to your shy behaviors and do the opposite. Ask yourself if you’re in a situation like above. Will you get the heck out of here? We suggest you do the contrary. Facing your anxiety and confronting it – is an important step to overcome your shyness. In this case, have a conversation with the new guy. Don’t worry what he and the others will think about you.
3. Socialize with your extrovert friends and learn from them. One of the proven ways to do something new is to imitate the actions of someone who excels in that behavior. Tag along with a few of your outgoing friends and watch and learn how they interact with strangers. Take note of their body language, how to speak, the tone of their voice, and how they tell jokes. The most important thing here is to understand their mood. Does your friend look tensed or relaxed? Is your friend enjoying the moment or feels trapped into his or her thoughts? People who are outgoing usually don’t take them seriously and don’t criticize about things they do. Shy folks have been found to be reserved, serious and often say bad things about themselves.
4. Create a new identity for yourself as an outgoing person. Be attentive to the words you mean when you talk about yourself. Tell yourself that you were once a shy man or woman, but now you have changed and aren’t shy anymore. When you keep saying these self-motivating words, your subconscious mind picks it and uses it to carve a new personal identity and reinforces it. Whenever you do the opposite thing in situations, where you have backed off previously, compliment and praise yourself for that. This may sound a little silly to you, but it works, nonetheless.
No one ever said shyness is a bad thing to have and shy people can never date or have a relationship. But, it is true that extroverts and outgoing people tend to enjoy and have more fun, and have less social anxiety while dating and in relationships than shy men and women.