Most people have a sense of what a toxic or dysfunctional relationship feels like. But, sometimes it can be challenging to recognize those signs when they surface in your relationship for the first time, even for couples who have already been in romantic relationships in the past.
In any relationship, there are two main components, physical attraction, and chemistry. But, a romantic relationship is more than just physical attraction and chemistry. Real and sincere relationships inspire joy and are everlasting. In a committed relationship, there is a commitment to the relationship, good communication, mutual consensus and understanding and shared goals. It doesn’t matter if there is a lot of chemistry if these four crucial elements are missing, having a healthy and satisfying relationship will be difficult for you. Dissatisfaction in the relationship will result in conflicts and struggles, which will ultimately make the relationship toxic and will make you unhappy.
Here are three crucial signs of a toxic relationship and if you see anyone of these or all of these signs, it’s time for you to get out of the relationship:
- You always try to please your partner to feel loved
Ask yourself are you trying too hard to get your partner to love you, give you attention, acceptance, and approval? This is pretty common in us as since our childhoods we have been told by others to please our parents, siblings, and other people to earn these kinds of “rewards.” Eventually, you become a “pleaser,” and you start to please your spouse so that you can feel being loved or desired. Making someone happy at the expense of yourself will cost you dearly in the long run. This type of attitude will expose your low self-esteem, low confidence, insecurities, and your fear of losing the relationship. Becoming a “pleaser” in the relationships is very exhausting both physically and emotionally. What’s more damaging is that your spouse will have control and power over you in the relationship. Also, it’s a sure way for you to lose your personality and identity in the relationship because you will soon see that you can’t make yourself or your partner happy. This will drain you physically and emotionally and will build up anger and resentment within you.
- You feel lonely and lost in the relationship
Almost all of us at some point felt alone in our existing and past relationships. It’s an indication that you don’t feel desired or included in the relationship. Your significant is doing his or her thing and you yours, they work for long hours, they attend recreational and social activities without you, etc. Love is all about inclusion. So, if you are noticing more exclusion than inclusion from your girlfriend or boyfriend, it means that they don’t like you enough or stopped loving you. If this is the situation in your relationship, its big red flag and it points that you are in a toxic relationship.
- You lose yourself
If you are the “pleaser” in the relationship, and your partner is someone who is selfish and doesn’t include you in his or her life, it will cause you to lose yourself in the relationship. Slowly, consciously or unconsciously, you will sacrifice your own happiness, self-worth, and freedom to keep the relationship intact. It points that you are in a toxic relationship, and the best thing you can do is to get out of it.