Is it realistic for you to lower your standards and settle for “Mr. or Ms. Good Enough”? Mr. /Ms. Good Enough is looking pretty great when you see most of your friends getting married and settling down, and you’re still single. If you’ve been on dates for some time and still aren’t in a relationship, it’s natural to have thoughts like maybe you’re too picky or have very high standards’. However, our opinion is that when it comes to relationships, settling for someone who is Good Enough is a disaster waiting to happen.
Before you lower your expectations for the sake of finding a girlfriend or a boyfriend, consider these thoughts first:
1. Maintaining high standards doesn’t mean that you’re looking out for Mr. or Ms. Perfect. We understand that you want to meet the best guy or woman, but no person on Earth will meet all of your desired qualities in your checklist. The key here is to be sure about what kind of man or woman you want to be with, love, enjoy, grow with, and cherish over the years. It’s about deciding which characteristics in a person you can live with and which you can’t.
2. Conceding one or more items from your ten must-haves and ten can’t-haves list is a terrible idea. Your criteria for finding the perfect partner are highly personal, and all the qualities that you’ve listed should be guarded and honored. One thing to note here is you may not be very important for the other person. Some folks can be happy if their boyfriends or girlfriends are less ambitious than them. But, for some people, this trait can be big deal-breaker. Conceding on quality or behavior that is directly related to your existing must-haves and can’t-haves can be detrimental to the stability of your relationship in the long-term.
3. Wise single men and women don’t compromise on the major issues but compromise about the small ones. When you’ve decided that you won’t compromise on your core ten must-haves and ten can’t-haves, you can allow yourself more flexibility on other items. A great thing about love and relationships is discovering qualities, tastes and behaviors that are different from what you’re used to. You may find something that didn’t attract you then, but you’re interested in it now. Which dismissing the most important qualities from a potential partner, be open and flexible about all the other things you new love interest brings.
So, does your new love interest have all of your ten must-haves, and free from your can’t haves? If you want to find a girlfriend or boyfriend, who is a great match for you and makes you happy – you should know exactly what you want and don’t want in a partner. Your checklist doesn’t have to outrageously long or complicated. Make it simple such as top ten must have qualities and top ten negative qualities. If you’re clear about these characteristics, you’ll become a wise dater, and have more clarity and confidence is pursuing a man or woman, who is worth pursuing to be in a long-term relationship.